Beyond Disorderly Eating

Angelic Gift Sharing

2010-12-26T09:06:00.000-08:00

INTERACTIVE AFFIRMATION -

I ACCEPT MY ANGELIC GIFTS..

Gifts often come from the least expected places.

No matter how you look at them, thoughts are gifts. They are like plants that live in a garden, many of them stimulated by old belief patterns. Cleaning them up means opening new creative places for planting new patterns that can form new, carefully crafted beliefs. Remember, many old negative belief patterns came from others. Now, you have the opportunity to design exactly what you want.

When involved in belief-designing keep an eye out for obstructions or resistance. These are nothing more than old, left-overs. If one presents itself, stay aware and breathe from your center. Relax into the moment. Tilt your eyes up slightly. Locate the mind screen. Place an image or think your newly designed goal right there. This is a direction to your subconscious or creative mine that you don't want the left-over, but the new design instead.

If you are following along, you have disposed of the old coats or beliefs. Now, children from your past are coming towards you with gift boxes. Locate a special place on your Path for greeting your past childSelves, perhaps outside your "workshop." They are out of hiding now, desiring to share their power with you. Even the very youngest, now that they have been unburdened, have power to share.

You may wonder how this could be, for they are seem so vulnerable. While that is true, they represent your earliest survivors. They came into this life with a strong soul and spirit. They came with two books. One for teaching and one for learning. Perhaps in the past they were blocked by negative energy or sharing from others who were in need of their own healing, but your past Selves have been freed now, and their gifts are being given back to you.

As the children arrive, breathe in deeply, sensing yourself deepening, perhaps counting slowly back from five to one. When "one" presents itself, you find a beautiful golden egg-shape surrounding you, like a comfortable capsule. This is your private space on the face of the earth. The air is pure and energizing. Breathe it in. Notice that you can view life going on outside of your "egg", but it doesn't enter your space. You can observe the different scenes that take place in your life.

The "actor you" is playing out, experiencing emotions, learning lessons, even teaching some, but that is all happening outside of the true You. Others who you recognize as partners, children, relationships, colleagues and the other "players" on the world stage from those you meet at work, in the market, on the roads, see on television or hear on the sound-waves are present outside of your private space. You are disassociated from them. From this position you are able to correspond in healthier ways than before.

The gifts are ready for opening. The children have returned to their gardens, for their work is completed now. You are in charge. They have been released and wait for any re-programming you might like to send their way in response to the gifts. You and you alone are responsible for your life. You are the writer, director and producer of your life course.
Sense this feeling now as it enters your body....take time with this experience for it is life-changing for most of us, especially if your past included co-dependent relationships. It's like.....you are truly home now.

The opening of the children's gifts is a form of life review, but only experienced through the positive nature of these gifts. The childSelves who delivered them were in their pure spiritual states. Depending on your belief system, you might think of these as Angelic gifts or gifts from your Highest part of yourSelf.

I suggest that you take your time as you open the gifts. For me, I like to open them just before going to sleep at night, or upon waking in the morning when the mind is in a hypnogogic or very slow brain wave state. You can choose which gifts you might like to open. Listen to your inner guidance for that part of you knows what you need.

The Biggest Gift Ever!

2010-12-20T05:54:00.001-08:00

Clips from ThoughtWARE - 101 Mind Programs for Losing and Maintaining a Healthy Weight - soon to be published in EBook.

INTERACTIVE AFFIRMATION -

I ACCEPT COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MYSELF.

Becoming & staying self-responsible! A very big challenge. Giving up blaming and making excuses is absolutely necessary, not only for weight and health issues, but for everything. This is the biggest gift you can ever give yourself because it is the gift of "complete freedom." If you haven't felt this, then you have truly missed out.

Accepting a gift always means giving up something. In this instance, we give up the habit of blaming and making excuses. An image I use for myself is a "big, deep hole." I've been digging at this for as long as I can remember. What's interesting is that no one every stopped me. There came a time in my life when I began wondering "why didn't someone stop me?" In those moments, I never asked the most important question. "Why didn't I stop myself?"

If you have never asked yourself these questions, please do. A big gift box will open for you. Gifts are things we receive for moving into self-reliance, self-resilience and self-honesty. Then, self-image and self-esteem "self-correct." You take back your power and then you come to the fantastic realization that you are free to live your life. It is your life. This is a huge realization for those of us who are living or who have lived in co-dependent relationships. This is the moment of letting go, as well as disallowing anyone else to take over what is yours.

There are several powerful images that I utilize for myself and in my work with others. I'll share some of these with you, but let your own mind show you the way. After you relax deeply and enter the following visualizations, ask your own Higher Self to take over.

Relax deeply into the chair where you are sitting. If you are following along, take the journey down to the "workshop of your mind." I'm waiting there for you.
Before we go inside, let's go around back. Locate your deep excuse hole or any other image that represents the times when you didn't take responsibility for yourself. Everyone has one, so just go and find yours. Then, take whatever tools you need to fill it in or disassemble it. This is telling your subconscious mind that you do not want to follow these patterns any longer. Mind images, suggestions and directives are very powerful and work quickly.

There are two golden paths that lead off from the back garden of your "workshop." One goes to your past, the other leads to your future. We'll start off on your Past Path. The capital letters signify it's importance, so always think of it in this way. This is where your Power and Resilience live. Honor it.

I'm giving you some binoculars so you can look way down....way down to the beginning. There you will find your parents holding you on the day of your birth. Whenever I go to visit my "newly born Self", I'm amazed at the youth of my parents. It's in this moment that I deliver love, compassion and forgiveness to them. Perhaps you might like to do the same. It is a very freeing prayer or spiritual message.
Find yourself in front of your parents. Your "newly born Self" is being handed to you. Feel the weight in your arms. If the baby is wrapped in a blanket, undo it and hold your childSelf next to your heart. Press gently .... again ....and now sense your newborn Self entering your heart. Sense the emotion of love.... Sense the emotion surrounding responsibility.... Sense the emotion of the freedom and joy of having this for yourself.

No one owns you. There is no such thing as co-dependency. You have a very strong purpose now. Each day you will care for yourself in thousands of ways, including your behaviors, habits you choose to keep, foods and beverages you choose to share, emotions you choose to entertain, goal paths you choose to follow....all while carrying yourself in your own heart.

These are powerful images. On the surface this may sound like a game, but what you are doing while placing these living images is instructing your creative, subconscious mind to go forward on these very special "goal platforms." You are starting at the very beginning and in the next blog you will move up the Past Path, removing negative belief coats from your earlier children, teens, adults....right up to the present you. Then, you will be ready to enter your Future Path.

Affirmation Workshop - Opening Stressors

2010-12-17T16:48:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are following along, please go and relax deeply into the moment. You already know how to do this. If you are new to my writing, scroll down for some further instructions. Once you are deeply relaxed, return to your "workshop" and pick up your "Book of Stressors." Notice how heavy it is. Also notice that it has a beautiful leather cover with your name embossed on the cover. Trace your name with your finger. You are you. This is your book. It is heavy. It is filled with value.

Your subconscious mind directs you to look at the table of contents. Here you find your stressors divided into different categories. This makes it easier for identification purposes. The more stressors or "buttons" you find, the better for you. Not only can you release the body from the production of stress chemicals caused by these, but you can also diminish the compulsion or obsession connected to the stressors. That's the part of you that actually calls the stressor to return for another performance. "Let's get mad, sad, out of control, play victim and a host of other roles you do so well."

Stress reactions are made by choice. Nothing is stressful on it's own. In addition, most stressors are pure mind fantasy....stories we have sold ourselves and then share with others. We each decide what we will be bothered, annoyed or frightened about, as well as the level that we choose to be effected. Each time we tell the story, either to ourselves or to someone else, the stressor button becomes more golden...more valuable in a negative sense.

So, now you know why it is so important to locate these. As you look at your "table of contents" many will jump into your mind. We have stress buttons in relation to specific people and experiences. Then, there are those more generalized. Think about things you don't like to do or particular behaviors you don't like in general. Tell yourself "all of the things you don't like, in other words, your life complaints." Be sure to look in the area having to do with yourself. These are often the most toxic. The things you don't like about yourself usually have huge stress buttons.

Some stressors will be hidden, often forced into hiding by toxic emotions, especially anger and fear. You may even hear yourself denying having a stressor or even stress in general. "I don't know why I binge at night. I have no stress in my life. My stress has nothing to do with my eating issues. I exercise. I meditate. I'm happily married, have perfect children and even my dog is a pure delight." The need to be right, being judgmental about yourself and others cause great stress to build in the mind and body. And, stress needs to be released. The body and mind need balance....this is called homeostasis.

Now, look to your stress-release mechanisms. These are usually addictive. Be sure to look beyond substances such as caffeine, food, sugars, beverages, alcohol, smoking and the usual ones. Look way beyond those....see if you can find addictive behaviors or emotions. Look beyond the usual behaviors that are more on the surface. Go down deep. They are often the most difficult to find and then to own. Any secrets? Dig them out and bring them to the light. They won't hurt you. Secrets cause pain when they are hidden, but not when they are opened to the light. Forgiveness and compassion comes with this lighting.

In the moment you become aware of the stressor, you can release it with your breath. The combination of awareness and breath will not only diminish the stressor, but will "open" it. Inside the stressor are "golden opportunities". They are buried deep inside, but will show themselves if you are diligent about staying aware and releasing.
Here's the action steps...

STRESS AWARE ------> BREATHE.........> BODY RELEASE ------> MIND RELEASE ------> GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES SHOW THEMSELVES

You may be wondering, "What are golden opportunities?" These can be all sorts of treasures. Some things I've found inside my own stressors are keys to the triggers. Now that I have the keys, the triggers no longer work. I've also found great insight about myself and the origin of the stressors. Some were given to me "as gifts" from people I wanted to please and so I learned to imitate them. Others were things that people "sold" to me as good, or even great ideas, such as bingeing or hiding or lying. These are powerful awareness tools. I remember finding plans for stopping a particular stress reaction, one that could also be applied to other things.

So, be diligent! Get the job done! Have fun! Be grateful!

Shining the Awareness Flashlight

2010-12-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

INTERACTIVE AFFIRMATION - I LIGHT UP MY LIFE!

The mind screen is one of our most powerful resources for it allows us to view what's going on in our moment to moment life without "being in it." We are the observers and not the participants. Certainly, one could argue, that we are doing whatever it is, but when we take the position of "observer", we hold the power for change. It's like being the writer/producer/director of a movie or play. The "director you" sits in the audience seats observing the scene on the stage. For that position it's easy to see the big picture and to make the changes that will make the production better. This is exactly what you are doing.

A powerful image in the awareness flashlight. It works in the same way as the theater in the mind. When you hold the light and point it at something, you are also the "observer." The name of the game is to bring everything to the light. Some aspects need greater introspection. For example, if you find yourself in the supermarket placing cookies or ice cream in your cart, you want to shine that flashlight on that scene. The observer wants to ask some very pertinent questions. "What's going on here? What were you thinking? What was the motivation? What emotions are present? How hot are those emotions? Who is in charge? Now...a very important question. What were you NOT thinking? What is missing from this scene?"

So, your actions are not just simple little meaningless things. Without stopping the action with the flashlight, you miss out on the most important information and it is this information that will bring you to a higher level of self-management.

Every moment holds the opportunity for getting better and better. I used to ask myself, "How well can I do my supermarket experience?" Another question, "What will my shopping cart look like when I get to the check-out? Will I need to make any corrections before I empty my cart? If so, how did those things get in my cart? What was happening in those moments?" Here's another opportunity to take out the flashlight. In other words, it's not over until it's over.

It's both interesting and powerful to pay attention to the workings of your mind. Look and listen. Your inner chat and mind images are your teachers. They show you your truth and then, give you the opportunity to "ask for the answers."

Let's go back to my supermarket experience and the questions I asked myself regarding the cookies and ice cream. That particular day my emotions were running "very hot." My emotional child was completely out of control, not wanting, but demanding a reward. The inner dialog went something like this. "You never give me anything. I work very hard and I deserve this. I want it. I want it. I want it. Give it to me. No? Well I'm taking it."

On this particular day I found myself with a pint of Haagen-Daz in each hand. My emotional childSelf relaxed. Then, I became aware of what had gone on. As I shined the flashlight, my emotional self tightened up. It was difficult to move my body and my hands refused to open so I could release the two containers of ice cream. Another woman was standing behind me, "Take as long as you like, " she smiled. "It's so difficult to make a choice." OH....yes, how right she was, but I made a choice right in that moment. I put the ice cream back on the shelf and took my screaming childSelf to the car. I moved the seat back and began to meditate. I needed to get to a place where I could ask the right questions because this was a very big teaching moment.

As I went deeper down into the place where my very best flashlight is located, I noticed an image of my emotional childSelf waiting for me. She was wearing a very big wristwatch. I asked her to show it to me, then asked her why she was wearing it. "It's the hurry up watch. The hurry-hurry-hurry-hurry watch."

Identifying stressors is not always what it seems on the surface. Some are buried very deeply, others are multiplied making them appear "normal", but they are not. The hurry-hurry watch is one of these. If you keep an eye out for people zooming around life, you don't have to look far for those wearing this time-piece.

Relax now...go to the Workshop of Your Mind...pick up the book called "stressors" & ask your subconscious to show you what's going on. Throughout your day your thoughts will register the answers to this question, so stay alert.

copyright 2010 Elizabeth Bohorquez RN, C.Ht
May not be reproduced without permission of author.

Compulsive Shake-Down

2010-12-05T12:39:00.001-08:00

Some of my behaviors have changed over the past few days. I have no idea about why this has happened, except that perhaps my internal dialog and work with my Journal Master has actually re-programmed my mind in some way. As a therapist, I do know that when we bring something to the light, things change.

Last night I had a huge moment with one of my most prominent disorderly eating compulsions. I don't remember noticing this one while on the train ride, but of course, not everything was consciously present. While I'm very familiar with this compulsion, last night it was somewhat different, as if a big light was showing me details that I had missed before. The compulsion begins when the scene is set, and not a moment before. I have a special recliner in the guest room where there is a TV. This particular recliner had a past life in my hypnotherapy office, so it has some "relax energy" installed, or so my creative mind believes.

The scene begins to play out...around eleven I head for the recliner. No lights in the room. I'm alone in this part of the house. My husband is secured back in the bedroom reading. My subconscious mind childSelf reminds me that he never comes back out once he goes to there. She is obviously my accomplice.

( Behind the Scene Notes - the Self loves to be in this quiet & safe cocoon where she can put food it her mouth & feel the supreme joy. The joy actually begins at the moment of deciding what food to eat, actually tasting it in the mind, then fully succumbing to the idea of eating. The walk to the fridge, the preparation of the food, listening for footsteps, taking a bite on the way back to the safe cocoon. Then, lost in the eating, licking the fingers, then relaxing deeply when all has been accomplished. All is a part of the ritual. )

There is an acceleration of body sensations as my mind travels from the low conversation of the television program to what I would like to eat. The balanced part of my mind reminds me that I've brushed & flossed my teeth.

My childSelf couldn't care less. "You can do it again" she says with conviction. "After all, you will get to eat now & then you will sleep deeply."

My balanced Self counters, "you will wake up in the morning feeling sick."

The childSelf is now up for the battle, "oh, you will not. Only certain foods do that to you & you won't eat those."

( Behind the Scene Notes - the choosing of the food is very important. The mind reviews the cupboards & fridge, actually tasting them in the mind, then feeling what sort of response will follow. This includes the immediate gratification as well as the "after response." Questions as to the teeth issues, the morning after issues & if any level of sleep will be interrupted by the particular food. The Self is expert at this. Each part of the ritual makes it more powerful, not only in this moment, but in future moments. )

I don't have to eat much for the ritual to be effective. It's almost as if the ritual puts me to sleep, rather than the food. If I choose not to engage in the ritual the childSelf can threaten.

"You will not be able to go to sleep if you don't cooperate & eat. If you fall asleep, you will not stay asleep. Then, it will be TOO LATE to do anything about it."

Oh, my childSelf & this compulsive ritual is very intriguing. Just watching it with an open mind leads me to a better understanding of all of my compulsions. Tonight I decide not to entertain it at all. I don't silence or mute it, but let it play out as I observe it. It's worse than watching a horror movie in the middle of the night. My body is in very high response. I find this very interesting, but still don't move, relaxing into the meditation chair. My breath has changed as I defy it. "Go ahead" I tell it. "Show yourself to me."

The childSelf is furious. My body is almost leaving the chair now, but the Higher Part of Me places my fingers on my lower abdomen. "Deeper down...relaxing...breath opening." My Power is returning, but I feel the fragility of my Self. I know that I need to feel this because only then will I be capable to meet this in the future without the same disability, for indeed, my compulsions are disabilities. I am dis-able to stay in my Power.

I feel the exhaustion in my body & mind, but I fall asleep in the recliner. Another night has passed and I am de-programming myself from this very old compulsion. I sense my freedom...

Ten Fingers Riding

2010-12-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

Sitting in my meditation chair, happy to be here. Life is such an on-going merry go round for me. I complain, yet I stay on the ride, holding on tightly to the horse's neck, watching the world outside of myself just sit there while I speed by, hardly able to breathe.

The truth is that I like this way of being, or do I? Is this just an idea I sell myself because I don't want to look at the way I run my life? This has been an ongoing question for many decades. Just writing that makes me wince. How can anyone be asking the same question for decades? What does that say about me?

My Journal Master jumps in. "Ignoring or the head in the sand technique is very popular."

"But," I insist, "is it really necessary to ask the question? Why can't I just accept that this is the way I am, that this is what I like, and just be done with it?"

Journal Master..."Here comes the train."

Yes, we are at the train station. There are two train tracks. One train goes back to the past, the other goes forward into the future. The only train in the station is the one that goes back, so I'm assuming there is a reason for not giving me a choice.

I get on the train, wondering how far we need to go back to find the origination of my compulsions and the secrets they hold. I'm surprised to find other passengers sitting in the first class car. There are my fingers with bandaids on some of the cuticles. I notice a group of eating issue compulsions including car eating, evening and night eating, junk shopping, the rep from fast food, and the most powerful binge and secret eating parts. Other compulsions sit on the left side of the car. These are old, many forgotten, but they are here anyway. The loudest one is my work compulsion who is debating her strengths with my need to be the winner Self.

I ask my Journal Master. "Why are they here?"

The answer, "Who knows better than them? Do you have a problem facing them?"

No, I don't. For many years I've invited them out of hiding, even sharing them with my patients. I always believed that it helped others to know that I truly understand the battles. So, if they need to be here for me, I'm comfortable with that.

The train starts and picks up speed, going way back, almost to the beginning. This surprises me because how young could I have possibly been when all of this started.

Journal Master..."We return to the beginning of pleasure, for that is the purpose of each individual in the train car. Feeling uncomfortable was not acceptable to the baby, so something was always given to sooth the complaining child. Look out the window and watch how this was accomplished by those in your family. So many people in attendance. The baby must not cry, squirm or show any sign of being uncomfortable. But, of course, after awhile pacifiers, bottles of milk, rocking and stroking were no longer available. So, what's a growing baby to do?

As you became older, you never wanted or were taught that it was OK to feel unpleasant emotions, nor how to diminish them. Something external was always needed. As stressors were added, more external devices needed to be located and made available. You had many teachers who helped you to find these things. You observed your friends, family members and the public. Teachers always abound. Then, there are others who join your group. No shortage of disorderly eaters, compulsive shoppers, alcoholics, drug addicts, or anything else. It feels good not to be alone. The world is full of addicts and enablers. So, even if you are physically alone, you are joined at the hip by the world's addicts."
I ask, "So, they all have a purpose and that purpose is noble even though it can hurt me?"

"Yes, the problem is not the compulsion or addiction, but the stress that it is asked to manage. While many of the compulsions are not healthy, that is not the issue. It's all about the developing and storing of the stress. Your release mechanisms haven't been healthy. You've been focusing on the wrong thing and that has caused the problems, for there will always be stress, just as the young baby demonstrated."

As we ride along the time-line certain areas light up, indicating high stress. Some areas are brighter than others. The baby's stress was simple, but high to the baby. The compulsions or addictions are getting off the train at different stops. I can notice the stress lights and also remember the particular things that were happening in my life at those times. Some are seminal events like death of my father and grandmother. Others are also bright, probably unnoticed by anyone but me for I didn't have an engaged mother or family. Things that might have been helped through balanced family relationships were not, leaving me to find some sort of external means of release. These then developed into habits or compulsive needs for letting go or relaxing. That's why the body tension becomes so huge and the need to engage with one of my train members becomes vital, for the release of stress is "vital." Stress can kill.

I look at those passengers that remain in the train as I come nearer to where I am now on my time line. Of course...most of the addictions or compulsions have gotten off. I'm left with the fingers and some vestiges of my disorderly eating, mostly secret in origin. I have less choice now, so the ones that are present appear to have worsened.

It's clear to me what must be done before heading for the future time-line train...

Ten Fingers Leading

2010-12-03T07:31:00.001-08:00

My Journal Master greets me before I even sit down. I'm under the impression that something very important is going to be shared today. I have mixed emotions, both excited and frightened because important things mean that something is going to change. It has to. I cannot be made aware and not change. Just knowing something means that a door has been opened and that whatever is behind it is no longer hidden.

I remember that the "talking fingers" told me that they would show me how they are connected to my eating and other compulsive issues. I'm worried that this connection may make it impossible for me to manage any of them, because when things are too big, then they are unmanageable.

"Just stop. You are already planning to fail. And, you know very well that when you plan to fail, that's just what you'll will do, then blaming it on whatever is convenient."

Having an active Journal Master is like living with one's coach. I can't get away with anything, not even a thought or some jotting on a piece of paper.

"Why would you want to get away with anything? I would have thought that you were past that childish behavior? So, I say to you, "grow up and get on with it. It's time to leave the pram and get on with your life issues. If not now, when?"

Yes, something important is going to happen today. My ten fingers are stretched out before me. Goodness, I'd better not tell anyone that I'm having an ongoing conversation with my fingers! But, then again, why not? Body parts are living and they don't get to make choices on their own. As I think this through, what finger would actually ask another finger to pick it's cuticle or pull off it's nail that it took so much time to grow? So, this has nothing to do with the fingers. They are the victims in all of this and I do want to know what they know, because they are in touch with other parts of "me" that are doing this to them. Oh...now they are making sense. That in itself is a bit frightening to me. I'm thinking that if they can talk to me, what about my other parts? Does my stomach have something to say about the food I ate yesterday?

One finger has been designated the spokesperson. It's number #3, the one I've picked on for years. I'm embarrassed to face this particular finger, for I have no idea why #3 has been my finger of choice. I'm actually surprised that it speaks to me in a kind, compassionate voice. If someone had picked on me for years, I would hardly be willingly to be helpful.

#3 speaks..."There is always a benefit for a behavior. Habits are simply repeated behaviors, but always having a benefit. You know that you don't pick continuously. In fact there are years when you never picked. Remember? If you look back, in those years your "use of compulsive behaviors" was almost nil. While you have a history or arsenal of compulsions to choose from, you only use them when you need them. If you look back over different segments of your life, your time-line, match up your highest use of compulsions with what was happening during those times. Then you can enter those areas hypnotically and gather important information that will allow you to re-program the history of compulsion use."

I ask #3, "If something has past, how can it be re-programmed?"

My Journal Master steps in. "Everything, past, present or future can be programmed or re-programmed. That's the way the subconscious mind works. Think of it as an editing process. You write a book. The words are there. Then, you go back and change the words. The book is changed or edited. When you read the book, you read the edited version. Your reactions are based on that version. It's the same with other mind programs. While many of your compulsive programs are heavily etched in your subconscious mind, you can still re-edit them. It may take a bit more time, but it is possible. Remember, first you must locate what you choose to re-edit. In the past you didn't do that, but used a strong discipline. While you are a good disciplinarian, that is not the best way to change because you falter when stress rises and the going gets tough."

I begin to think now. It would be best to meditate on all of this. Once relaxed, I'm going to travel my time-line, looking for the high compulsion areas and the connected life experiences. I'd like to gather these before entering the areas. Somehow I believe that will be easier. Perhaps then, one will heal another more quickly. Yes, this seems to be the right choice. I know this because my body and breath change with the arrival of the idea.

I thank #3 and the other seven. I'm going to my meditation chair now.

Forgiving Mother

2010-12-01T18:57:00.001-08:00

I thought about organizing the meeting with my mother and the children I found at the cemetery. I designed a sign-up sheet, thinking this would be an easy way to bring the children forward. The images that played in my mind weren't all that uncomfortable which actually surprise me. I thought it would be more frightening than this for those parts of me. Then, I've come to realize that there are less children signed up for the meeting than the number who were at the cemetery. No teen child signed up. Not one.

Now, I realize that these were difficult years, but my mother died over a decade ago. Could there still be so much resentment that those parts won't even meet with a deceased soul? How did they get like that? I honestly don't remember any incident other than the one that happened in my adult years that was never smoothed over.

"Smoothing over doesn't mean forgiveness or the return of pure love." My Journal Master again. That's the thing with self-hypnotic journaling. I never know when the Therapeutic part of me is going to jump in with some point of departure. "Who did the smoothing?" Several children step forward. I'm surprised that they are young. I wouldn't have thought they knew enough to smooth over any sort of disagreement.

"We smoothed." How innocent looking they are. I'm sad to know they had to do this. "She wouldn't talk to us until we smoothed." I have a pain in my chest. Wondering if I'm having a heart attack. I think I'll go get a glass of water.

Back now. No heart attack, but certainly an attack of the heart. It's the sadness and grieving for the little girls who are so lost and lonely. Yes, I remember my mother not speaking to them, but I had forgotten how many of them were abused in this way. No wonder the pain is so great. Emotional abuse can be extremely painful, worsened by coming unexpectedly. The day goes on in a normal fashion and then "bang." A problem arises and the mother shuts down. The child is left abandoned in her own mind and life. The grief is huge. Does the mother realize this? I wish I could climb inside my mother and find out why she did this and if she had any idea as to what her child was suffering.

"It wouldn't help." That's the Journal Master. "Of course she knew, but she was fighting her own demons and didn't have the skills to help herself. Her behaviors brought her more guilt, but like an addict, she couldn't stop, nor admit her failures." The work you are doing here is about your children, helping them to heal and to come out the other side of the woods as healthier adults. You are now the mature, mother-figure to your inner children. So, shall we continue?"

I post a memo telling all of the children that I expect them to attend. They are coming with me, and I'm in charge. I will be speaking directly to the mother, but they need to be there in order to heal. I will not be attacking the mother, but opening my heart, giving her a reason to open her own and all children will open their hearts as well.

I also send out a memo to all teens and young adults, telling them the same. They are no longer in charge, nor will they be asked to do anything, other than to be present. All grown adults will also be present. In short, everyone will attend. Attendance will be 100%. We've spent long enough in the victim, retaliation state and it's time to heal and move forward. I know the mother wants this as well. I can sense it deep in my gut. It's as if she is here with me, looking forward to having all of this over with forever.

The children arrive first, followed by the teens, young adults and older adults. They sit in the seats provided. I'm in the front of the room with a screen for images ready to go. I start by putting up photos of my mother's birth. There are my grandparents and her siblings. She was a middle child, so not all of my aunts and uncle are present, but I'm surprised at how young everyone looks. Of course, my mother is a tiny baby. My children are invited up to the screen where they can reach him and touch her, but very gently. She smiles with the attention. The picture changes to a time when my mother was a toddler, then a young school child. My children can now ask her questions. The dialog goes back and forth. Everyone is comfortable. Next, comes my mother's teen years. My teens are interested in her now....lots of questions back and forth.

My mother married young, as did I. My young married self is surprised at how young my mother is and shares some stories with her, as well as feelings/emotions. They have much in common. Next comes photos of my mother giving birth to my brothers who were close in age. My young adult talks to her, surprised to learn how frightened she was and the difficulties she shared with my grandmother who didn't speak English. She felt inadequate and had little understanding of being a mother. All of us could feel compassion for her.

Next came my mother's desire to have another child, a girl and then I was born. I didn't realize this, but my mother had an early menopause making her emotions every more difficult to manage. She had two young sons, a baby daughter, a husband who was rarely home in the evenings due to his work and so her insecurities soared. The baby needed to be still, and so I was. The mother was not ready to cope with this part of her life and there was no one to explain what was happening. While I had my children at an earlier age, I could feel my mother's discontent and could send her compassion. I also know that I was far from being a perfect mother, hoping that my children would find it in their hearts to forgive me. My inner children finding interest in the older components of themselves. All being one in the same.

I scoop everyone up in my arms and tell my mother. This is who I am. While I know you are my mother, I don't know you completely, but I do love you. As a whole, we love you and thank you for all you have done for us. You were a human being, with faults just like all of us. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive us, and in so doing we all forgive you, for we are one in the same.

I sit still now. My insides are vibrating. I don't know why this is, but I figure I won't vibrate forever. Soon I'll stand up and go on with my life, happy to put this on a lower shelf in my mind.

Ten Fingers Teaching

2010-12-01T18:55:00.001-08:00

About the shadow bag...

I really don't have to open it in order to manage your compulsive issues, but I may choose to have a look some other time. There are useful things in there, things that can help me in many parts of my life even though they are heavy. The good news is that I don't have to pull it around. I can just leave it by the side of the path. No one is going to bother it, and then I'll come back when I feel like it and begin to empty it out.

I've been working with my ten fingers. They suggested that I give them some self-hypnotic guidelines.... a new ritual of sorts. There are things they simply aren't allowed to do and other things that they can do. The creative part of me finds this somewhat amusing.

My Journal Master has joined the meeting I'm having with my ten fingers. It's suggested that I learn more about my life-long habit, for it is an opportunity for me to get to know myself better. I'm interested in knowing more about this. Even though I've had this habit since childhood, each time I do it "it is different." This blows my mind. I've always believed that the same habit has continued, but now I realize that's not true. The biting/picking that I did at age 7 or 12 or 30 were all different from anything I did yesterday or today.

I often have no recollection of ever starting or stopping my nail picking action. So will it really be possible for me to stop? What's even more upsetting, is that often I don't want to stop and I can inflict heavy damage to my fingers without even feeling the pain.

One finger has been designated as the "speaker." Her name is #3. I'm rather embarrassed that she was chosen because she's my most favorite finger to pick on. I come to find out that she is very knowledgeable. I apologize to her before she speaks, thanking her for sharing her insights.

"Because your pain sensors are dulled by the negative hypnotic trance of the habit, it can be quite amazing how much pain needs to be inflicted before you wake up to it. This particular facet of nail biting and skin picking makes it very different from other pain-causing, self-destructive habits such as pinching or cutting. You may awaken at the sign of blood or when you have reached a certain level of destruction, often programmed into your own subconscious mind. Once the awakening occurs, the pain can then be felt and you may find yourself focusing on this, then choosing to stop the destruction. It's interesting to note that you may or may not stop automatically when this specific level of destruction or pain occurs. It's as if the mind has it's own rules about this, and in a way it does.

Let's explore this a bit further. The subconscious mind appears to have an internal censor that determines how much destruction will be acceptable. You will unconsciously go to this acceptable level and then stop. Sometimes that level is set quite high and so the damage might be quite extensive. I think this is what is happening to you now, especially in relation to me....#3. You might also have an inner mind program with a lower acceptable level, providing less damage, but still disallowing yourself to be completely free of the habit. I know you are aware of this. It's like living with a teasing monster. You may think you have finished, but for some reason you can never achieve the "perfect ten." This in itself is a terrible self-punishment. The habit becomes a controlling force within your personality, often working to destroy your self-image and self-esteem.

Let's work with self-hypnosis...

Get to the mind screen through the usual route. Image or simply think yourself biting or picking. Don't turn away. This is simply in front of you and it is very important to look and observe. Notice there is a number up in the right hand corner with a dial sitting right next to it. The number corresponds to when your subconscious mind agrees to wake you up to what you are doing. You might also notice that the level of self-destruction is also indicated. Play with the dial, first turning it way up and then way down. There is a number that indicates less damage, but still allowing biting or picking. Obviously the behavior will be less than the higher numbers that are connected to the more severe damage. Find that number, observing the image. There is also the digit called zero, indicating no biting, no picking and therefore, no damage.

I'd like you to program the first number, the one that wakes you up earlier, the one with less damage, but still allowing the biting or picking. This is an excellent place to begin because it is here that you will begin to build your awareness. Noticing your image, allow it to relax deeper into the moment. Change your breathing...change the pace of the movement...if the fingers are in your mouth, remove them gently, placing them on your relaxed abdomen that is going slowly up and down. Allow your fingers to ride the abdomen, just as if they were sitting on a merry-go-round horse. If the you in the image is picking cuticles, or other areas, gently bring the fingers to the merry-go-round horse.

ACTIVE AFFIRMATION: Please plant this in the way that you already know.

I am in charge of my subconscious mind dial. I decide the level of activity between my fingers and other parts of my body.

We'll meet again later and I'll show you how we are connected to your eating and other issues...

Ten Fingers Talking

2010-11-30T16:55:00.001-08:00

It's the right time to begin now. I spent some time yesterday doing some simple meditations. Not long ones...just five minutes or so, woven throughout my day. I've come to realize that I haven't been "fractionating" lately. I really need this meditative approach because I'm truly an A-type personality or a "high-wire act." I've always been like this, and while this could be called a compulsion, I prefer not to look at it in this light. To me, anything can become a compulsion when my "spiritual centered self" is not in charge, but instead, the actual compulsion demands to be. This means that I can eat and enjoy chocolate when my centered self agrees, but when my compulsive self pushes that part out of the way, shoving all the chocolate she wants into her mouth in order to quell the body and mind tension, well then, that's the compulsive act.

I'm ready now to enter my cuticle picking compulsive area now. It's not pretty...but it does need to be faced and "house-keeping" needs to be done.

Entering my first deep meditation and then going off into special active imagery designed especially for my compulsive areas. I've noticed that my mind has directed me to turn around and look at what I'm dragging.....it's my shadow bag. The bag is quite big and heavy. No wonder I'm so weary from all of this. Sometimes, like right now, I'm not even aware of what I'm dragging. I've just become so accustomed to it.
The bag has a rope that is tied in a knot. I read this as a "not." Do not open me. Be afraid of me. You don't want to see what's inside of me. I'll destroy you. I despise you. You are not worth of anything good. Go ahead...try me and then you'll know what it is to disappear."

Threats and more threats. No wonder I work so hard at my compulsions. If I keep busy enough, then I'll forget about the shadow bag with the "not." I won't have to look at it because it is behind me. What's behind me is less threatening, or so I believe. Of course, this isn't true. Then, the compulsions can punish me because I deserve to be punished. Why should I expect good things? I actually don't have time for anything good because I'm too busy pulling my shadow around. I've convinced myself over the years that I can enjoy the punishments. Over-eating? Bingeing? Compulsive shopping? Enjoying the moment of the "fix." Loving the ritual of the fix. Thinking about it....planning it...all the details....all parts giving me a "fix of sorts." Then, there is the satisfaction right after the fix. That's separate from the ultimate moment of being in the fix.

I want to ask some questions of the cuticle picking compulsion. May I do that now? I believe I'm in the right place. This is something I started around the age of seven. It was very displeasing to my mother and I became an expert at hiding this, but I don't believe that is the crux. My mother is dead and I still return to this when I'm highly stressed. While I don't like doing it, there is a very strong compulsion to do it.

The compulsion answers. "Look for the purpose, for there lives the answer. Notice when you do it, for you don't do it all day long. Actually, there are more moments when you don't do it than when you do it. Pay attention. There is a ritual around it. Open the ritual. Ask the questions to each part of the ritual. Take it apart. It's a puzzle that is willing to open to you now, for you have come to speak to it in a loving way."

I'm ready. Please sit down with me...ten fingers come forward.

I feel sad as I notice them. It's been rough for them over the past year. They tell me what it feels like to be "picked on." Oh...that metaphor tells me something. I've always felt "picked on" since early childhood. Constant picking, picking, picking. Always tense, expecting the picking from those around me, especially those holding the power. I feel myself shrinking down, just thinking about it. I'm very sad in this place.

The fingers show me some living images of when I do this. The ritual is lining up, nor presenting itself. But, I'm told to look at the "prodromals." These are things that come "before" the ritual. These are usually the same, therefore announcing themselves to the ritual, so the parade of the parts can begin. I'm noticing that the picking happens when I stop my "busy" behaviors. It's when I sit to rest. Similar to giving a baby a pacifier to settle it down so it can go to sleep. My fingers offer that to me...an activity to quell my tension. That's very clear now. After finishing dinner, etc., I sit in the same chair to watch the news. Then the fingers find each other. Pick, pick....relax, relax. Now I understand why I can enjoy this, for I'm not utilizing any other mechanism that offers this type of release. Now noticing how hard I can pick. Goodness...what is this about? The tension must be quite intense...interesting word - "in-tense"...inside the huge tension.

Now, what is to be done? Find a way to release that doesn't destroy. First, understand that you do not need to punish yourself. Yes, you need to break your hypnosis during the day, that auto-pilot place where you never take a break to release. Next, interrupt the pattern. Put your hands somewhere else. Hold something. Anything to break the auto-pattern or ritual.

I practice some ideas hypnotically....others come to mind. I see/sense myself free of this. My new programs are now being placed in my subconscious mind. The ten fingers relax as I look at them...

___________________________________

Compulsive Wasp Stings

2010-11-29T08:57:00.001-08:00

My guilt eraser already has one flat end. It's amazing to me how much guilt, shame and fear has gone unnoticed throughout my life. Of course, I can spend time blaming others, but the majority of "guilt events" come through my own mouth and thought processes. Then, there are the events that are noticed, but are just let to stand, as if I were in charge of shooting myself down. The rifle range has been very busy.

It was suggested by my Journal Master that I visit some of my own circus rings, perhaps starting off with "the compulsive one over there." When I went looking for it, I didn't know which compulsive one my Journal Master was referring to...because there were so many. This in itself stunned me. Now, it's not that I'm not aware of my compulsive tendencies, but I only seem to think about the major ones, leaving the smaller to hide themselves away. What's interesting about compulsions, is that one fosters or supports the others. So, if I have hundreds, then each one is connected to the others by an under-ground root system, continually feeding and helping their counterparts to grow and become stronger.

Although I've journaled for decades, this time I had a very specific reason for taking my pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. My compulsions have been escalating for the past year or so, and I thought it would be beneficial to get inside or underneath them, helping to remove the core issues. Now I'm seeing that there are not three or four, but three or four hundred. This certainly isn't what I had in mind when I decided to do this. I feel like I've disturbed a wasp's nest. Now I'm getting stung at every turn.

My Journal Master jumps in, "So what do you plan to do?"

My response, "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"Well, you can ask away, but remember that all questions revert back to you, rather like a boomerang. I thought you might enjoy simply taking responsibility right off the bat, instead of sending it to me first."

"Why do I feel like another wasp just took a bite out of my arm? It's rough being the only one to row the boat, but I'll take the challenge. I'm much stronger now than I was before, especially since I wrote the short novel. My protagonist was a real straight-shooter, able to turn situations around on a dime, so I guess I can do the same."

I've decided to enter one of my biggest, then find the tangents, follow them out and see where they lead. Then, with luck, I'll be able to disband some of the small ones, thereby lessening the electrical charge that they deliver to my bigger issue.

I'll use self-hypnosis to do this. My mind wants to visit all of them, but that's part of my compulsive behavior. I want to do everything, have everything, and to have it "right now." That's why my compulsions are so toxic. They all want to be first, arguing as they go.

There are four or five big ones and they are also "very old." I remember three of them starting early in childhood. Those have to do with skin picking/nail biting and compulsive/emotional/stress and secret eating. The third big one has to do with shopping or non-shopping. I can binge shop OR I can stay away from shopping for years on end. I'm not talking about food...but clothes, household items, etc. Then, there is the fourth one....always needing to stay busy, but not just regular busy...this type of busy is always about taking on huge projects, then having to finish them as the "winner." They are all super-exhausting in their own way. Small ones include needing some sort of noise going on, collecting different things including books, magazines, CD's, you name it. This is different from the shopping compulsion. It's very specific to self-development. In other words, needing to make myself better in some way. This says "I'm not good enough." Then there is the computer, Farmville ( LOL ), FB nonsense, even blogging. My writing can get very compulsive as well. It either goes in that direction or I don't write at all, just letting my projects pile up over there on my desk. I have a cleaning compulsion & since we decided to sell our home, I have a new compulsion to get rid of everything in site. It started off as simply "de-cluttering", but it's taken on a whole new look to the point that even my husband backs away from me when I'm locked in that state. I bring a bit of humor to this, but it truly isn't funny. The tension in my body makes that clear. In the past, I've touched on other addictions that also became compulsions. Most of those have finished, but the others have taken their space.

I'm still deciding which big to enter first. I do understand how they are all connected, or at least I think I do. However, when I think deeply about them, my mind refuses to cooperate, almost like dropping a veil over the compulsion and then moving me on to something else. That is happening right in this moment. I'm journaling, but my mind is traveling through a group of other compulsive areas, interrupting and causing me to procrastinate. My body is growing tense, my breathing is changing and I have a strong desire to eat something or pick my cuticles. This is how they keep me in turmoil and also how they keep their own strength building. If they keep me from "housekeeping", then they can stay more powerful. That is their game. So, I'll use self-hypnosis to get in and from there, I'll be able to take charge of certain things.

I'm running out of space, so this will be continued in my next blog. I have chosen to enter my cuticle picking compulsion for this is the one that bothers me most right now.

What's Fiction? What's Real?

2010-11-26T11:36:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone. I finished my novel for "NaNoRiMo" and received my awards. Like a child, I savored them and sent them to everyone I know. I'm now thinking that I can post them here. Another pat on the head...

The novel ended in a way I didn't expect. Near to the end, it was like the novel was writing itself and I was just the observer. It was rather like the automatic journaling I'm doing here, only this was fiction.

My Journal Master jumps in, "What is fiction and what is real?"

Oh my goodness. That question comes in the first few paragraphs of my novel. Were you writing it???

"What do you think?"

Yes, I believe you did and I have a strong feeling that you put the speed bumps on my path so I would have to look carefully. I remember a moment when I wanted to give up the project. I questioned my reasoning in starting such a thing. After all, it wasn't something I really had to do. I'm a busy person, so why did I saddle myself with this strange project that had no purpose?

"No purpose? You believe it had no purpose? Better think again for everything has a purpose. Everything is given to teach a particular lesson. Look inward very carefully."

My husband asked me why I named the novel "The 5th Question." My answer to him, "I have no idea. It just appeared on the page as if someone else wrote it." Then I was left trying to figure out what the book was supposed to be about.

"So, what did you find out?"

I came to understand that my protagonist was looking for the truth, and in so doing she opened up a very dangerous Pandora's box with her questions. The message was that sometimes we think something is inconsequential, when in reality it can change everything that comes after it. This could come in the form of a question, a statement or even a choice of behavior. For my character, she asked a question that "broke the camel's back." She wasn't awake, she wasn't aware and she wasn't spending time "in the moment."

"What's the lesson?"

For me, it's to pay attention. Like most people, I tend to walk around in a fog that is supported by what I believe to be true. This is my fiction. Change involves staying awake, evaluating what I consider to be my own truth's or beliefs, plus being in the moment as much as possible. I've come to know that these are three different things. Being aware or being awake means that I can step back and see what's going on in the "circus of the world." Evaluating my own truth's means that I'm willing to look at them with fresh eyes. Being "in the moment" means that nothing is happening. The moment is pure and empty. This is a heightened creative state, one where I am nearest to my spiritual Self where I can go whenever I choose.

As I worked through the book, I came to see that everything is not as it seems. Other stories are going on, super-imposing themselves on the story of my main character, causing changes along the way. Since she is only connected to her own story, she is unable to see the big picture, actually putting her life in danger.

This has happened to me in my own life. I become so absorbed in my own story that I miss out on a great deal. I want to be able to change this. Any suggestions?

"Relax now. You may have noticed that I always ask you to relax when you ask an important question. Know to do this for yourself when it appears that we're not working together, because the truth is that we are always working together. When you are "in that place", open your eyes. Notice that you are "in the moment." There is nothing here, but everything is here, for this is the way of nothingness. Sense the peace. Feel it. Enhance it. Now sense the love. Feel it. Enhance it.

All stories are going on outside of your "nothingness place." These are like the rings in a circus. Some have to do with your story, but others are the stories of others. Look out, noticing the different circus rings. They go on for miles, for there are millions of stories going on at the same time. Like radio stations, you will have your favorites. Notice you can tune into them without getting inside of them. Practice this with one of your favorites. Notice you can listen on different levels. Practice tuning in on the emotional level. It's below the "this is what you see" level. Now, relax deeply...go back to your "nothingness", spend a moment, and choose another circus ring. Do the same. Float above it, below it, to the right and left, but always outside. Just "be". Live life as an observer.

You can also visit some of your own circus rings, for you have many. Observe...how about that compulsive one over there?

The Guilt Eraser

2010-11-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

In the middle of the difficult emotional work I've been doing, I stopped to write a novel. This is very odd, because I don't write fiction. All of my work has always been non-fiction.

"Oh really"...goodness, my Journal Master is alive and well, not letting me get past one sentence before jumping on my page. My question to my Journal Master, "What's the matter, did you miss me?"

She replies, "I find it odd that you believe your work is all non-fiction, for your live is one big fictional tale." I feel like I've been stung by a bee. I never thought of my life as a piece of fiction. I find that rather insulting. I see myself as an honest person, and never would make up stories about what happened to me or my life experiences.

"Everything is a story, for everything has already past and is a remembrance, not a reality. You remember the parts you want to remember. The other parts are forgotten. You only see or feel things from your point of view, and not from the point of view of others, so this is your story. You tell it with the emphasis on the parts where you want to shine the light. If other people on the stage were given the light controls, they would shine it on something else. You tell your story so you are always right, never wrong, and even if you are willing to admit to something, you provide excuses, so no one, not even you, will feel poorly. Avoiding guilt at all costs. But do know, it doesn't really matter because everything that is past is fiction."

I answer. So, whenever I'm telling or even thinking of something that has already finished, in other words something from the past, even if it was remembering this mornings breakfast, are you telling me that this is fiction?

"Yes, it's not real. It's just a story and it's a story from your point of view. That doesn't make it bad, but it's very important that you come to understand this concept, because if you don't get it, then you will be bound up in your fiction, just like book pages are stuck in their binding."

Well, now I feel like defending books. What's wrong with pages being stuck in their bindings.?

My Journal Master gets cryptic on me. "The last time you looked in the mirror, did you see a human being or a book? I think you already know the answer to this. You're just defending an indefensible point of view. Time to get on to what's really important here. We don't have all day."

You may think I know the point of this whole conversation, but I really don't. My mind is loaded with thoughts, like the traffic in Times Square.

"Be still. Empty mind."

I follow the instructions and go to meditate for a bit. It's true. I'm feeling argumentative. I'm quite wound up from writing my short novel. The main character was a bit autobiographical, not in the story-line, but in her substance. Her husband arranged for her to be murdered. She has to come to terms with loving a man who was capable of wanting her dead. She's an investigative journalist, yet she couldn't see what was really going on in her own life. She was blinded by what she wanted to see and feel. Relax...let go. Breathe.

I come out on the other side. My character waves good-bye. She's delivered useful messages to me, but now I must go forward and use them to benefit myself. To be honest, I never thought that writing fiction could be self-therapeutic.

I now understand that I've been living most of my days in a fictional world. I've actually encouraged my child-selves to stay locked in the library of my mind, only reading past events from their point of view. Not only have I not corrected them, but I haven't explained to them why this isn't a good idea. Everything I've focused on, I've made bigger. So, I've been unfair to the memory of my mother, but living in guilt is not the way out of the library. Yes, I was brought up in a guilt-loaded environment, but now as an adult, I hold the key to the fresh air. I no longer need to breathe in what's unhealthy for me. I'm being given an affirmation now. I have no idea who gave it to me as I'm deep in meditation.

"Guilt is just a word that you can erase at any time." The eraser appears in my hand. I'll take it back with me.
My protagonist has appeared again. "I have things to tell you. Thanks for bringing me to life."

Little Girl Lost - Sorting Out Mother

2010-11-05T08:19:00.000-07:00

As I continue my journaling, thoughts arise in my conscious mind. These are different from my every day thoughts. My dream states are also changing. The other night I dreamt of my mother. She was in a nursing home. Outside the home I had placed several valentine or "I love you" messages. She also appeared in several other dreams, either in person or in the dream theme. What's interesting is that my mother didn't speak in any of the dreams. She was simply a part of the storyline. I'm smiling as I write this. "Why would she speak in my dreams when she spoke so little when she was alive?"

My mother's game was to keep me guessing about what she was thinking or planned to do. When I was a child this caused me great anxiety. I became a policeman of sorts, always studying her facial expressions and other body language. I lived on "high alert." I'm sure this was a part of my anxiety symptoms, most of which were physical. I also learned not to speak out, especially if I had an opinion about something. "Who doesn't have an opinion?" My mouth and tongue were cemented shut.

As I matured, my fears were realized. There was no disagreeing with my mother. Life remained pleasant, almost fun....as long as there were no deep discussions, especially with a differing opinion. The rules of the game were clear. In my adult years my anger grew during visits home. It's odd for me to observe my memories. Each visit followed the same pattern. First, I couldn't wait to see her. ( my child? ) I could feel the trembling of excitement. The first day of the visit would go without a hitch, but then things would deteriorate on Day 2. My anxiety would kick in, along with my anger. As I repressed all of this, Day 3 had me jumping out of my pants. I would start counting the hours until we left for the airport.

I became free of my mother, or so I thought, two years before her death. I actively disagreed with her and all hell broke loose, not only with her, but with all of my repression. I remember it feeling like a floodgate had opened and someone else was in charge of the faucet. That person did not want to turn it off. It was not a good moment....or was it?

As I view my early children, the ones in the cemetery, it's obvious that problems still exist in their relationship with my mother. I thought these were tempered when the floodgates opened. These still seem to be buried deeply in my subconscious mind. I'm not even sure if I remember all of them, for each day in the lives of each child there was both physical and psychological pain. Clues are most likely in their memory boxes. There are certainly things I remember consciously, but for some reason even those still hinder the cemetery children.

My journal master steps forward. "Just remembering something doesn't heal it."

"Well then, what's to be done about these things? How can I heal the chronic depression IF the exposure or freeing of the memories doesn't help?"

I'm told that the children must come face to face with the mother and speak out. They will not go alone, but with me. They will be safe. After that, they will need to forgive her.

"Each child?" I'm not even sure how many of them there are.

"I suggest you invite a child from each five year period to represent that group. If more than one want to come forward, then that is fine. Sometimes there are children who have experienced things that were very toxic and they need a special hearing. You might have noticed that there were not many teens at the cemetery. Did you question why that was?"

Yes, I did notice that. When I thought about those years I came to the conclusion that during my teen years I was busy with other things. Perhaps I repressed memories or desire to know my father deeper down.

"Perhaps you need to meet with your teen-selves. Remember, these were the years when they were developing relationships with boys. Did you consider that they had no role-model?"
"Yes, but I'll leave that for another day. There is much to do here and I'm feeling over-whelmed."

"Are you sure that you are not just looking to escape?"

Ohhhh....that hit home!

Little Girl Lost

2010-11-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

I never thought I could be friends with my depression...

I'm learning not to back away from it, for I now understand that there is nothing to fear. Just the opposite. There is much to gain. I now know my depressive experiences hold major keys to both my mental and physical health. I'm showing the willingness to go below the surface. There are so many opportunities, each one separate from the other. That's a problem with labeling. We tend to believe it is one thing, when it really is more like a plate of spaghetti, each strand unto itself.

Yesterday I met up with my very young Self, taking her back into my heart. It was painful to see such a young child already detached and cowling. As we walk further along this path, the children present themselves. The ones younger than three, tend to be rather pensive. Some are sitting in a small rocking chair, but not responding to their surroundings, as if they're in a daydream. These children are congratulated for their silence, for this is what those in charge want. "My aunt told me that I'm able to sit and rock for hours without interrupting anyone. It's bad to bother others."

Elizabeth is busy learning how to be a good girl. She likes being "congratulated"...she interprets this as love. Of course, it is not.

The child learns that interrupting brings it's punishments and so this must be avoided at all costs. She's taken up nail biting and picking as a stress-releaser. It's easier to remain still when biting and picking. No one seems to care that she is engaged in a self-destructive act. Of course, this is just the beginning of her self-destruction. I know that. However, this is the first time I've connected these dots to my chronic depression.

I'm wondering, "Should I stop the child from doing this? If so, what would be the best way. I don't want to inflict further pain."

Journal Master..."This is how the child releases, and so it will be of greater value if she has less need to release. Let's go into this particular area and help the child to be free of whatever is bothering her. Perhaps she will tell you."

I must admit that I'm a bit nervous about approaching this part of me. Yes, she is quite young, but I feel her unhappy energy and it is very strong. Getting closer to her. How did she become so unhappy? I don't remember any abuse...

I'm told to introduce myself. Of course, how would she know who I am. As I approach her, she comes towards me, so I'm thinking that this is a good thing. She's not shy, just very sad. Noticing tear stains on her face. Her nails are well bitten. The ends of her fingers deformed from the constant picking. I take her little hands in mine, stroking them gently. Delivering love and concern. Despite being little, she seems to understand that I'm not here to criticize or punish her in any way. I find myself tracing the outlines of her little fingers, one after the other. I tell her that her fingers have names... I don't know where that idea came from, but it certainly has her attention.

"What are their names?"

10-9-8-7-6 on this hand. 5-4-3-2-1 on this hand.

"The names are silly. Do I have to call them by their names?"

No, but I'm sure you would like to take care of them, just as you take care of your dolls. I noticed that she has many dolls. I was going to say, "you would like to take care of them, just as your Mommy takes care of you", but those words didn't seem appropriate.

Why is that?

Of course. The Mother is a big issue for the little girl. She loves her, but the mother is distant and troubled with depression. Something rises inside of me. I recognize it as pure rage. Rage at the Mother for abandoning this very young child. The child is lost, and no one comes to find her. She is told to sit in the chair, rock and bother no one. The child is abandoned and lost, even though the adults are present. They know nothing of what is inside this little girl, things that can't get out and so the little girl must keep them hidden.

I hear my adult voice speaking to the child. "I want you to come and sit by me whenever you would like to do that. I'm always here for you. I'll help you to take care of your fingers, and then they won't hurt.

"They don't hurt."

Oh my. I look at the fingers again, swollen and infected. The child is so disassociated from them that she doesn't recognize the pain. To do so, would limit her only way to care for herself, for that is what the biting and picking is all about. She is caring for her pain.

I thank my depressed self for bringing me here. I know that this is where my eating issues begin and so, this is where they will begin to end.

Depression....my Friend?

2010-10-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

"Make friends with your enemies and they will introduce you to yourself through a different set of eyeglasses."

I know this as truth. My darkest life experiences have been my most extraordinary teachers, but for some reason I've not approached my chronic depression in this way. No, that's not true. I've approached the experiences, but not the actual depressive emotion. I've never thought of them as two separate entities, but I can now understand that they are different.

It would be helpful to know what my "depressive self" knows, because heightened awareness or waking up is key to a higher level of recovery. I'm tired of just dealing with the depression when it surfaces. I never really know when that is going to happen, nor how long it's going to hang out. Usually it's at a very inconvenient time, not that there would be a good time for depression.

So, how do I make friends with it and what can it show me?

My Journal Master is not answering. Sometimes answers come immediately, even before my question is fully formulated and other times, it takes awhile. This used to confuse me, leaving me with the impression that the subconscious mind either didn't hear me or didn't want to reply or was making up some garbage to appease me. Experience taught me that none of this is true. I'm not sure why there is a delay, but I'm now confident that when a question is asked, the answer will be forthcoming. If there is a delay, I'm encouraged to spend more quiet or still time, giving space for the answer to birth itself. I'll do that now.

"You have to be ready and to have an accepting space for important information."

Oh...thank you.

So, after hearing that, I've decided to move away from my Journal and sit "for a spell" in my favorite meditation chair. Certain places or pieces of furniture can act as catalysts for relaxing deeply... entering the creative/healing space. At the very same time I'm making an "accepting space" for the new information. It feels so good down here. I can certainly understand when patients tell me that they want to stay in this area of the mindbody. Unfortunately or fortunately, we have to return to the reality of our day, for this is where we get to work with the new information.

It's interesting to observe the time element in hypnosis, for indeed there is no such thing as time. It simply doesn't exist. On the earth plane, I'm used to things either happening quickly or slowly, but hypnotically it can happen it a fraction of a second, or whatever that is, for there is no such thing as time. Everything is already in it's completed state and all that has to happen is to request it, have the cleared space and it is there. Bang!

I do want to meet my depressed Self. Part of me feels responsible for having created Her, another part of me wants to set Her free, but yet another part of me wants to know what She knows. I'm hardly finished "thinking" this when She appears, looking nothing like I thought she'd look like. Truly, I expected a Self with a low-hanging head, perhaps a pocket full of used tissues, OR an angry Self, ready to take me on. She is none of those.

She smiles, extending Her hand, welcoming me to Her world. There is no labeling of depression, just an original Self with clear experience and Knowledge. She is serious and worldly, perhaps someone I'd actually want to hang out with. I'm attracted to her. Yes, truth be know, I'm attracted to my Depressive Self. Why is this?

"There is a part of you that is very deep and introspective. There are parts of life that are difficult, sad and complex. The emotions that hang out in these regions are not pleasant, but they are real. If you look around your world, you don't have to look far to find them. The world can be seen as a "crying game". It's addictive and can feel familiar and comfortable, being very uncomfortable. It's like being tired, but falling into a comfortable sleep on a bed of thorns."

My depressed Self wants to walk my past path with me. It already knows that I want to find out about my eating issues....the addictions, compulsions, secret eating and great sadness. I want to know why I have such fights in this area of my life. What's underneath all of this? Will I ever be free? Can this part of me help?

We walk back further than I thought. It's strange to be in this area. I'm very young...sitting in my high chair in the kitchen. I'm distracted by my desire to sob. I have no idea why this is happening to me.

"The child is very sensitive. She reads the energy of the mother who is displeased with many things. The child doesn't know how to discern, but as she reads the energy, she replicates it inside of herSelf. She is not a happy child, but is frightened to express it, for she is fearful. If you have ever seen a puppy who cowls down in the presence of someone, you can imagine the feelings inside the very young child. She has already learned to detach herself. She slips inside the imaginary hood of a monk. Look at her. Can you see it?"

This image is very uncomfortable for me. I've lived inside the "monk's hood" for most of my life, wanting to be invisible, but also wanting someone to rescue me. This is a seminal image for my depression and I'm grateful for being brought to the image.

"Yes, I am your depressed Self, but I am willing to open the door for you. This is only one door. I was actually formed as a self-protection for you. I'm not the enemy, but your long-time protector. I'm happy to retire....it's been a long time coming. First change your energy. You must go to the baby and other images I provide to you with an energy of relaxed, but assertive power. Your energy is transferred to the images, for this is how you heal. Ready? Go now into this image, very gently move the monk's hood back from the baby, for she is a baby. Sense your energy as it moves from you to the baby. Pick her up. Always gently, but with no trepidation, for you are the Master. Hold her to your heart. Press her inward....more....more....until she is absorbed. Now, turn away from the image, for there is nothing more to do here. Come back out of the scene....I'm waiting for you. We have many places to visit."

I thank you dear friend. I am grateful for you.

The Forgiveness Exercise

2010-10-26T07:50:00.000-07:00

My Journal Master is ready to take me through the "forgiveness" exercise. Only this time, it's for the purpose of a full release. I'm a bit unsettled about this...

Leaving chronic depression seems next to impossible. I've left other "life jail cells" before, but for some reason, low-level depression defines me. I've never considered this a bad thing, and I don't want to see myself in that light. It would mean dishonoring the person who I've been for so many decades.

"You are not your mood."

Oh...usually my Journal Master doesn't jump in so early in my writing. This must be a pivotal moment.

Some "lessons" appear small, but are very big. I do know this lesson, but sometimes despite knowing, I can slip and fall back into old ways. Or, I don't interpret the lesson in the particular area of life. I think this is the case here. I've never really seen my lower level depressive states as anything negative. I've always been somewhat passive, looking inward...always thinking or exploring some other dimension. But, there are times when I'm totally different, liking changing a coat. I notice it, as do others. I'm focused, totally tuned in and fully participating. It's like a light comes on in the room. So, I'm wondering, is the light switch the issue here. Is the light always to be on? Won't the bulb burn out after awhile? Am I really blocking my creativity with my low level depression or this just some side-trip of mine?

"Stop the investigation." Journal Master again.

OK

"Please sit comfortably in your tree-chair, allowing nature to pull you gently down. Sense the power of nature as you go down, feeling gratitude for this moment in time. Take your time with this for there is no need to rush. Take a deep yawn breath through the bottom of your feet, inviting it to travel up through your body, emptying each cell as it passes through. Sense yourself deflating like a balloon at the end of a party."

Noticing people standing in a line over to the right...recognizing some. A chair has found it's way, positioning itself in front of me. Thinking this is for the guests. The first guest comes forward. It is my mother. I'm surprised that I'm so relaxed in her presence. Our relationship, a mixture of extreme love and hate. Instructions come forth. A small pile of hearts appear on my lap. I give her one, telling her that I love her and forgive her for anything she might have done to hurt or offend me during my life. I ask her to forgive me as well.

Nothing major is happening. No big moments, no revelations, absolutely nothing, or so I think. I'm told to continue. My mother leaves and my father appears. The ritual remains the same. Once again, nothing much to report.

Next come my brothers, one by one. Then a representative of my aunts, uncles, cousins. Same ritual. Next in line are my children, one by one. Michael laughs. I'm not surprised, but I keep my composure and continue the ritual. Representatives for my daughter's-in-law, colleagues, friends, and someone representing who ever I left out.

Feeling something now, but can't define it. It's some sort of shift. I look before me, finding my husband. Oh... a difficult moment for me, but the ritual takes over. Noticing black drops exiting my finger tips. I look at my husband and find the same thing happening. Not completely sure what this means, but I'm not looking for meaning. Remember....stop the investigation!

My husband exits, surprising unto itself. Receiving a look from my Journal Master. Guess it will take more time for me to balance that part of my life. So...now?

Yes now.

Myself enters, sitting across from me. This is rather unexpected. Not sure what to do. It's odd looking at myself in this way. "Follow the ritual." Giving myself the last heart on my lap, giving forgiveness and now asking for the same.

I'm rather lightheaded, wondering if I can continue or if I bit off too much. "Stop the investigation and just BE." The "me" leaves and first I feel drained, but then normality returns.

Am I finished?

"No, you are just beginning."

The Eye-Witness

2010-10-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

Since my "forgiveness exercise" I feel like I'm riding bumper cars. For some reason I thought that my life experience would be peaceful and smooth, like living on a heavenly plane, but instead I get this.

"The anger is releasing and it often bumps as it exits. Are you noticing the different varieties that you tend to store. They are quite different from each other."

My Journal Master is already on the end of my pen. This is happening more frequently now. We must be having a closer relationship. In the beginning She was like a date who didn't call back very often, but now I breathe a question to myself, and find the answer before the question is completed. A bit unnerving, but obviously this is part of the process and I do want to disassemble my chronic depression for good. It's like a 5000 piece puzzle, but one I want to do.

I explained my project to someone the other day. "Does this mean that you'll NEVER be angered or depressed again? Goodness, that sounds terrible. What will we talk about? Can we still be friends?!" Remembering the Venus fly-trap metaphor and the "depressed five". Yes, it's all true.

I'm eager to know how my disorderly eating and sugar addiction is connected to my repressed anger. I do know there is a connection to both that and my cuticle picking. Why do I have to wait so long for an answer to this? I'm reminded of a woman who called me yesterday for an appointment to stop smoking. "I want it done quickly. Boom, bang, boom." I remember thinking, "My dear, you are going to have to unravel this, to find and dismantle the crux. That, unfortunately, is not a boom, bang, boom job." And, so it is with me...

"Well now. You are paying attention. Remember that your teachers come from all directions and your lessons are carefully embedded. This time you were awake. Congratulations."

It's true. Usually I would have been totally exasperated with a client like that, but I remember my feelings in that moment were those of compassion and also excitement for her. She is awakening to the need to stop smoking and most likely is frightened by what she knows she is doing and has done to her body. She is on the brink of awareness that will transform the rest of her life. Addiction is not about the substance, but what is underneath....the crux. Yes, some substances are a bit ratty to get out of the body system, but if the crux is opened and cleared, then one can get through the release of toxins. I've seen it thousands of times and have experienced this personally.

So, my disorderly eating is not about the food or drink. It's about the crux. I thought I had cleaned it before, but there are many levels, some going back to infancy. Certain people can trigger the deep responses, even if those people weren't around at the time the crux was infected in some way. I can also trigger them, even though I may have no recollection of what started the crux infection.

The "forgiveness exercise" touched these. Finding people in my life more difficult to forgive or to ask for forgiveness. I'm not surprised at the "big players", but a few of the less connected did awaken me. I'm thinking that they hold the keys because my involvement with them is less, so it should be easier to figure out the puzzle, especially with the help of my Journal Master.

"It's important to do your own work, because the digging builds muscle."

I sense myself in one of my mind gardens. Several emotional children are at work there. Some are helpful, others are not. It's easy to see who is who. Their names are on their tee shirts, helping to specifically define them. It's here I notice the "garden variety of anger", much of it repressed....pushed into the soil of my life. There are special tools for repressing. I'm noticing one "garden variety" called Righteous working with great angst. Reminds me of a funeral burial. So much sadness combined with anger. As She depresses the issue it's clear where "depression" originates. It's all about the pressing, depressing into the soil of my life. I'm reminded that this will fester under the surface for years to come unless it is released.

But releasing is not enough. These depressing activities need to stop if I am to live in a different life environment. Several children are coming up from my "past path." They are pushing wheelbarrows full of things that have dug up from their individual gardens. These things have been depressed. No wonder I've been feeling the bumping.

Overwhelmed. What am I supposed to do with these?

Then, I realize the children are not walking towards me, but instead, towards the light of my Higher Intelligence.

"Everything has power. Everything can be transmuted or changed for the better. There is nothing you have to do, except to witness this. Then, you can start to reorganize your gardens."

Eyewitness.

Arguing with Depression is Useless

2010-10-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

Arguing with depression is useless. Saying I don't want something just brings more of it. Of course, this is the Law of Attraction and even though I know this, the knowing is not enough. It tends to make me angrier at myself. How can I know something and then not adhere to it? What is wrong with me?

Some would say that medication is the answer, but I don't want to take that road. I've been in and out of depression from childhood. Should I have been on medications all of my life? I don't think so.

I was watching Project Runway last night. It was the semi-finals with a lot on the line for these four designers. Only three of them would get to show their collections at Lincoln Center. The most intense moment had nothing to do with the fashion, but with the reaction of the one designer who was eliminated. When he realized it was him, his head hung low, his body immobile. His intense pain was palpable. When he was finally able to mumble some words, the problem was obvious. He was a failure, not only in designing, but in all his life choices including his sexual preference. "My parents will want me to return home, live with them, give up my dreams and expect me to marry a woman." Goodness...he couldn't see any of his success. Worse, he gave himself and his life choices to his parents.

As I watched Michael, my heart went out to him, but more importantly, my brain literally vibrated. Here was a living example of a depressive low, made intolerable by the attitudes and demands of others. Earlier this week I watched "Prayers for Bobby." Once again, this lesson underlined. I don't believe medications would have changed anything for either Michael or Bobby. These are self-image and esteem issues. Letting go issues. Stopping co-dependency and the need to please. Taking and living your own life.

Will others be hurt? Oh, that question. There are so many ways to answer it, some rougher than others. While hurting is never the goal, sometimes it can't be avoided. Sometimes we have to let go in order to save our own lives. Some "letting go's" are more difficult than others, often leaving depression behind. If one has a depressive personality, these become more burdensome, like quicksand holding you in place. I'm standing in some of that now.

There are no coincidences. My desire to open and look inside my own depression has been Universally supported by what's been placed in my line of vision. We get the lessons we ask for.

Why would anyone ask for the toughest lessons? For the same reason that students want to take the toughest courses in college. They want to excel and achieve at something bigger than themselves. Asking for tough self-development lessons is the same. Giving up smoking, alcohol, over-eating, emotional imbalance, co-dependency, nail biting and the list grows, is a testimonial to the true strength of the Self. It's a "yes I can" moment that continues through the lessons and beyond.

It takes great strength to walk towards that heavy weight, deciding to pick it up and hold it over one's head, but this is the way of healing. Once the decision is made and action is implemented, the lessons proceed on their own. It's that old adage, "be careful what you wish for." My answer to this is, "yes, difficult things are challenging, but what is life without challenges? Are we meant to just hang out in the quicksand?"

I want to write this particular book about emotional eating. I know I've been blocked because of my personal issues with the subject matter and the connected depression. Writing the book means that I have to give up many things. Perhaps this is what I saw in Michael and Bobby. It takes a lot to move away from what you don't want, but there is still a part of you that wants that very thing. For me, that is my eating disorder. I've not been ready to "seal the deal". I've not been ready to walk towards that heavy weight and pick it up. I've not been ready to finally say, "I'm finished with all of this."

But now...I am getting ready by releasing the tight core around me. Finally letting go.

The Depressive Jail Term

2010-10-21T12:30:00.000-07:00

The presence of depression has given me access to a deeper place in mind where my creativity & healing abounds. This doesn't mean that I choose to be depressed, but it is good to know that I can release the depression, no matter the level, and quickly enter my creative place. Depression is not my jail, and I'm not obligated to serve a jail term, no matter who else might like to deliver a count of shame or guilt on my behalf. Forget that...

Good news...The release of negative energy can be very swift, for I believe the body and mind choose to be free of all depressants. The body seeks homeostasis or balance. The mind seeks love. As for the body, I've seen this in the Emergency Room when a patient is admitted following a suspected heart attack, accident or other medical emergency. Stress and accompanying fear can be so overwhelming, but when techniques for emotional release are applied, the patient moves swiftly into the creative healing place. Heart beat slows, blood pressure normalizes, even bleeding stops....just through deep relaxation and release of stress chemicals. Yes, the body knows what to do.

As goes the body, so goes the mind. Exiting the jail, entering the love-containing light. We often call this the quiet or still place, the place of peace and love. Even if we didn't receive love as a child, or in our adult years, we are all capable of love-producing. Love images abound and they are ours to take and internalize. Even small, insignificant images can play out powerfully in our mind-body, changing physical outcomes and leading us into our creative space.

It's good to know that we do not have to depend on others for love deliveries. While it's good to have others who do so in our lives, we can succeed without it. There have been times in my life when this knowledge was extremely useful, changing the tides for me. Sometimes when we go through difficult periods, love deliveries tend to lessen. This is, of course, just the opposite of what it should be, but we might even notice ourselves rejecting love when we need it the most. I know that during some of my most difficult periods all I wanted was to be "left alone." I've seen this in my nursing career, as well as when working with addiction patients or even with students who were struggling. It's common in relationship difficulties, and when in an uphill fight of any kind.

I've been invited to enter one of my creative endeavors. The one I've chosen is one that I've been fighting for a very long time. It involves writing a particular book that has to do with eating disorders and is very personal. It's also one where I want to be left alone, rejecting love and support from others. I simply want to be left alone in my private misery. For some reason I resent the intrusion in this area of pain. It tends to block my ability to think clearly. I ask my Journal Master, "Does this make sense? I would really like to understand this. Perhaps then, I can explain it to those I love and who are offended by my outbursts."

"When creating anything, one needs to be alone in their own creative space. The deeper you go, the easier it is to work with your own subconscious mind. This is not the time or place for socialization. But, this does not mean that others cannot give you love and support, but not in these particular moments. I've observed you with this project and notice that you do not set up your boundaries very well. There are times when others are welcome and times when they are not. There is no need for great explanation, just for boundary setting.

Then there is the issue of the content of your work. This is yours and yours alone, unless others are co-writing with you. You are not obligated to anyone when writing your book. You have always had a tendency towards co-dependence and the need to please. This is where a good part of your rage comes from. Of course, a good percentage of your rage is suppressed and here is the connection to depression. The more you try to work through this project, the more rage you encounter, both from subject matter and from the interference of others who are connected to your eating issues, past and present. It's like experiencing a difficult birth.

So, you know what to do. Own and love your project. It is yours and yours alone. Set up your boundaries, releasing others from your life and work. Walk inside your completed book. Meet up with your "internal writers" who live inside the completed book. They have already written the book and you are the receiver of the "gift." Play amongst the pages, the words engaging you as you heal."

Exiting Depression Hypnotically

2010-10-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

A great benefit of working hypnotically is the ability to "time-travel." One doesn't have to be journaling or working with a hypnotherapist to do this. In fact, most of us do it all day long and are quite good at it. We call that "being lost in thought." Sometimes ( most of the time ) we're in the past, but other times we do visit the future. This is called "future pacing."

I'm feeling ready to do some "time-traveling" and that is good news for me. It takes a certain amount of energy to do this, and so....

Been resting in my "creative-healing space" for several days now. The depression and burnout I've been through have been exhausting, necessitating deep rest. Lots of body texting and emotional releasing. My emotional childSelf has been sitting by my side for the past few days. My exhaustion was so great upon arrival that she didn't show herself, so her presence tells me that I'm healing. She's out of hiding.

My automatic journaling has been very useful, opening some things, but mainly giving me a place to settle. One of the issues I experience when going through depression is my inability to focus on anything. Sometimes I'm so detached that it's necessary to write reminder notes to eat and wash my hair. Even then I don't want to move. Completely lost inside myself. Wandering around, but not moving. That's how bad it can be for me. I'm grateful to my journal for helping me through this. In the past, I often just sat waiting for it to finish, or at least to break open, so I could push through. Now doors present themselves with keys already in the locks. This is the joy of automatic journaling.

Feeling energized in the "creative healing space" is different than feeling hurried or pushed in the "circus of the world." It's like the energy here is clean, removed from the pollution of life activities. The "to-do twins" are not here to interfere with their head-spinning chatter and line-up of all the things fighting for my time and energy, polluting it further.

However...even though I'm in a different place, I notice a certain fear arising from the rebirth of energy, for it reminds me of how I got to my burnout-depressive state in the first place. I'm reminded by my Journal Master that this energy is different and so I relax into it. When fearful, I hold back...when relaxed I bend forward, greeting whatever is in front of me. It's rather like skiing...lean back and down you go....right on your head. Lean forward and speed comfortably over the ruts and ice. This time I can recognize the new, clean energy.

I look to the keys already in the locks, one opening by itself, revealing a mystery journey for me. All of these doors are "time-line travel" related. I know I'll either be going back in time or forward into the future, but I won't know until I allow myself to float into the space. Floating offers a wonderful sensation, similar to flying dreams, only with floating one can choose to do it whenever ...

It's easy to prepare to float. The sensation is already known, therefore the mind file is always ready to be activated. I take an entrance breath, bring forth the floating sensation, stepping into it. No need for a seat belt, just lifting off, rising above everything, then finding my desired altitude. Inside the sensation that moves itself with me in it. Having no idea where I'm headed and enjoying that. In conscious life I tend to be an over-planner, and while that can be a good thing, it is also wearing. Deciding to rest in the floating for awhile. Be back to my journal in just a bit.

Back....the floating deepened my trance state allowing me to feel very centered. I've landed in a particular area, not chosen by me or so I believe. Rather like getting on a plane, not knowing your destination, but feeling that you're in the right place. That's where I am now.

Exiting the floating bubble I sense happiness and love all around me. I know these feelings, but they have a foreign twist. I ask my Journal Master about this.

"They seem foreign because you've been away for quite awhile. Depression is like living on a different planet. Life is meant to be a loving place. You design your own environment, no matter what else goes on around you. This is the major lesson of why you are here. This is your purpose. The rest of life's "things" simply entertain your ego, but are also catalysts for attracting love. You haven't been utilizing them in this way. Instead, you have bought the sad, depression package and it's no bargain."

Seeing this in the morning light awakens me. Of course, I already know this, but knowing is not the key to staying in the light. There are things to be done on a moment to moment basis. I breathe in the air in this old, but new environment, understanding that this is always available to me.

I am free to choose.......in each moment!

The "No" Word

2010-10-12T15:19:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how a two letter word can evoke so much emotion. Why is it that the word "no" cannot live alone, but needs to be accompanied by so much explanation. Then comes the contest....can the "no" stand up to the arguing and scrutiny thrown at it? Perhaps this is why it's easier to say "yes."

I've grown tired of this whole thing. Endless discussions about why I don't want to do something, to the point of exhaustion. I finally decided that my "no" will stand on it's own and from now on forward there will be no further discussion. The "no" will be wear a coat of respect, honoring both myself and the recipient. It will have an air of assertiveness, but free of aggression. No anger, no reproach, simply....."no".

Of course, there's nothing wrong with the explanations of why I've decided on "no", but it's like anything else. When redecorating a room, it's best to remove everything and then start fresh. I find this works well with emotion and direct language. Long explanations can become habitual, almost addictive, seeming to feed the fodder for inviting debate.

It's an interesting experiment to play around with this, not only with other people, but also with one's own mind chatter.

I've decided to do some "automatic hypnotic journaling" on this subject because although it may seem like a small thing, I know that it is not. If I can be comfortable with speaking the "no word", I believe many things will change in my life.

Relaxing into the moment, now deciding to go deeper than before. Wondering "why" the suggestion has come forward to go to this lower level, but learning to trust the "journal master" and internal suggestions is very important. Thinking that I'm deep enough, but being told to go even deeper. Oh....am I going to visit some of the roots of my uncomfortable feelings about expressing myself in this regard?

The answer comes forward as "yes." So, yes and no. Two very important words in my vocabulary that open totally different avenues of adventure and especially respect for myself. I'm learning through intuition that this a crux. Self-respect! Yes, I'm entitled to say "no" and the blocking to this goes very, very deep.

Sensing that I'm almost there now and surprised to find my deceased mother very much alive and waiting for me. I find myself in the body of a young child, about the age of three or four. My adult self is trembling as I continue to write. Why is this so frightening for me?

My mother picks me up, positioning me on her lap and picking up a basket of blocks that I'm asked to hold on my lap. There are letters on the blocks....only the letters N and O. My mother strokes my head gently, pushing my hair back from my eyes, now positioning her hand under my chin, directing my eyes to meet hers.

"I'm sorry."

The child is sobbing, releasing her repressed sadness. "So many "no's" in the basket, many of them painted with harsh colors. This simple word taking on the personality of anger, even hatred, but what does this have to do with the child? Absolutely nothing. The mother is depressed and seeks control of her own life by keeping the child repressed "in her place." The child represents the mother's sadness and despair. The father has died unexpectedly coming home to give the child her birthday present, or so the mother says.

The child learns that the basket of blocks does not belong to her. She is not allowed to say "no." Only the mother can say it. If the child says it, she will be "put in her place." The child learns to be still and not to express her needs or desires because the father died coming home to celebrate her birthday and she is guilty. Three years old and very guilty, never to murmur a "no" because these belong to the mother.

The mother apologizes again to the child, holding her close, but gently this time. This is new for the child, for the mother never held the child in this way before. The mother returns the basket to the child, but the blocks are new and refined with pretty pictures mingling with the letters N and O. The pictures represent what the child wants and needs, for it is her right to speak out, letting these be known.

I return to the light of day finding my husband asking me if I would make some coffee. "No, not now." The words were enough to express my needs in this moment. The husband understands intuitively, smiles and goes towards the coffee pot to make it for himself.

Death by Dog !@#$%^&

2010-10-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

OK...so the body is tight and yes, I can open it. Over the years I've gotten pretty good at releasing the body, especially if I remember. Of course, remembering gets easier when the pain is acute, like not being able to turn my head while driving. That's a wake-up!

Then there's this business of cuticle picking and becoming lost in my own mind, not hearing the conversation that's right before me. It's easier to turn off certain people. Not surprising, my husband often heads that list. I've heard those critiques before, so why plug into them again. Is that rude or just plain self-preservation? Questions to myself.

Is it really necessary to keep hanging out in the same boxing ring? What's to be gained, other than feeling lower than when I willingly agreed to face my opponent? Why do I always take that lower road? Where do these behavioral traits come from?

Yesterday I found myself ushered into the boxing ring. It was so automatic, but this time I woke up as I climbed over the ropes. "No, I'm not going to do engage in this. I do have a choice and I choose not to spar with my partner." Of course, partners don't like being left alone in the ring without their opponent. So, a different sort of battle presents itself outside the ring, but it's much easier to escape these if one's plans are in place.

I remember once reading something that set a new pattern into motion. It's funny how certain things just resonate and come with their own sticky glue. On my "mind wall" there is this reminder. "Your rear end is not glued to the seat, nor are your feet glued to the floor." Interesting concept. I remember the very first time I employed this. I was sitting down listening to my husband and decided I'd had quite enough. So, I simply stood up and walked normally out of the room. No words, no rushing, no anything. Kept thinking about the absence of the glue. I remember him asking me where I was going. A part of me said "upstairs." That was it. If there were other words I didn't hear them. It was like my body transported me to a different time and a different place. The next thing I knew I was upstairs in my office reading a magazine. Since this behavior was new for me, my husband was caught off guard, like a boxer who doesn't see the punch coming and wakes up on the floor.

Of course there are some stressors that need to be handled differently, as well as some that will always be present, but new rules can be applied. Stress kills, so it's best to pay attention and know that stress does not rule unless you choose to allow it to do so. I know that I rule. And, it doesn't matter WHO delivers the stress...husband, child, colleague, friend or stranger. They only deliver and it's always my choice as to what to accept. Can you imagine someone ringing your doorbell with a box of dog @#$%^? Would you take it and then say "thank you" ? We've all done this in the past, but now it's time to utilize some new imagery and plans to take care of yourself in new way.

Stress kills and I'll never accept the "reason for death being dog %^&*" to be written on my death certificate.

Body Texting

2010-10-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Body Texting is a metaphor for how the body sensations communicate...stress, tension, pain, rigidity...just to name a few automatic responses. But, in order to receive messages, the phone needs to be charged and on.

Hanging out in my "creative-healing space", thinking of nothing in particular. Just waiting for light bulbs to go off in my head as I continue to relax and release. Goodness, I need so much deep relaxation. It's amazing how quickly my body returns into a tense state. It's difficult to notice this when I'm in the "circus of the world". It's such a hypnotizing space with so many distractions. The "hurry-up twins" are always hyperactive and the amount of stress they deliver to my body is incredible. If I was a cracker, I would break in half with no difficulty. Yes...breakable is a good metaphor for how my body feels. Anxiety and depression simply represent a higher end of my tension spectrum.

It's difficult for me to let go. Compulsive by nature and by "in-house" training. Needing to control something...anything. Hanging on to those things as if they were life-preservers. All of this may seem funny to onlookers, but trust me, it's not funny to feel like you're drowning in life.

I fill my life with activity like people fill shopping carts, closets and any other containment including their bodies with candy, cake and chips. If I were a drinker, I'd consume bottles. If I was a smoker, it would two packs a day. But instead, I'm a "doer" and this can be just as deadly. My body texting goes wild, but....if I'm tuned in, then it's like having my cell phone turned off. Not a good thing and this is how I ended up in my breakable condition.

The truth is that like most people, I look pretty good from the outside, but it's the inside that's at issue here. I've been ignoring my body messages and therefore paying the price. A mental body scan reveals the truth. Tension announcing itself in my jaw, behind my eyes, believe it or not in my right earlobe, shoulders screaming out, middle abdomen not particularly happy and even my knees are sounding the bell. Now before I scanned, I felt nothing in particular. That's the crux of the matter. When one doesn't look for the texting, the body appears to be fine, but on second glance there is a barrage of communication, all of it producing and storing itself as stress chemical accumulation.

So when does the body release? Last night I woke up around three in the morning with both of my legs in incredible spasms. This time the spasms found their way up to the middle of my thighs. I'd be lying if I told you that I wasn't freaked out. This was new for me. I hobbled around for awhile and then had to correct my breathing back to a relaxed state. My heart was pumping furiously from the fear of the new kind of spasms. I sat wondering why these had appeared, my inner body texting answering my questions with quite a few exclamation points. Of course....I get it, but while I was accumulating the stress, I was living in complete unawareness, just expecting my body to "deal with it." Well, it was dealing with it, but not in the way that pleased me.

I'm sitting here now, opening each body part even though some are not communicating. This is not only a powerful prevention method, but at the very same time, my creative space opens revealing positive aspects of things that are truly unseen gifts.

Time to recharge my i-phone!

Entering the Creative Space

2010-10-05T05:40:00.000-07:00

Opening a creative-healing space brings a gigantic flow of things wanting to fill this newly acquired void. Here's the catch...some of the things are the same as what filled the space before, many of which are unwanted. Others are new and open for review. Some are keepers, while others are not. It's like cleaning out your closet, then going shopping...often bringing back the same things that were dropped off at Goodwill.

For me, because my depressive state is so finely etched in my subconscious mind, the very same offenders simply see this as an opportunity to take up residence. In the past, this has been on auto-pilot, but not this time around. The depression has been going on too long and it's been far too disruptive, even frightening to me. The body texting has been intense and this can be very dangerous because stress-related diseases are often killer diseases.

What comes into the new creative-healing space is my choice. When we wake up to something, it seems to be scattered all over the place. The mess is seen in a new light and this time the light is very bright. My mess seems to have legs, walking back into my new space. Shutting the door is not the best option. Whenever we lock something up or lock it out, it becomes more powerful. This is what I've been doing over the past months. Just dancing around the issues without moving into the position of power and decisiveness.

I slept through most of this afternoon. This is common when releasing heavy body texting. My body is exhausted and I've given it permission to be deeply relaxed. When depressed or in a state of high tension, we are often unaware of how tired the body and mind can be.

Sitting in my favorite recliner, my breath becomes deeper without even thinking. My body sinking into the chair. The "hurry up twins" seem to know that they have no power over me when I'm in this chair. I smile at this because they are unrelentless, usually appearing before I get out of bed in the morning. Images arise of patients in psychiatric clinics who have been sent away to recover their sanity. This is how my subconscious mind reads the stress level where I find myself. This is helpful because the inner mind is a powerful resource for healing. Since it understands my needs on the deepest levels, then I know I can count on it to assist in what I need. This is a form of automatic programming, for the mind works backwards. The plan will be forthcoming.

Once relaxed and inside my creative space, I'm invited to walk around and assess the scene. No emotions are present, just me and my Higher Self. I often call this part of myself, my Therapeutic Self. Right now that is very appropriate! I've decided to position my recliner in this special space. As I sit there, the blue light surrounds me. I'm accepting that I need much more blue light than before. I feel like I've been through some sort of battle and while I want to fully recover, rushing it is not an option this time.

A blue light application and then continue to view the creative space. New ideas are asking to be admitted for review. I'm interested in seeing a few choices, but not too many. I'm sure this is a result of my need to recover slowly. I'm aware that it isn't necessary to do everything at once. As a major multi-tasker this would have been a challenge, but for some reason it isn't any longer. Perhaps the result of the battle. Anyway, it feels good to take this approach.

A gentle "suggestor" enters. It's so refreshing to have someone gentle and peaceful in my presence. Someone who doesn't want me to hurry and spin on a dime. The suggestion is to "open the windows" and let in some fresh air." Ohhh... how I love self-hypnosis! The indirect suggestion....open the windows....fresh air. I'd like that. I think of new people to bring into my creative circle, realizing that some have already found me. Gentle people with wonderful, creative ideas who have offered me an opportunity to join their endeavor. Like choosing a piece of candy, I help myself to "one." Outside of my creative space my compulsive self would have dumped the whole candy dish into my purse. Taking "one" feels so good. One new person and one new project.

The mind works backwards. The suggestion having been accepted, it moves into my creative space with the plan and project already completed. As I return to my recliner, it performs for me. I'm invited to enter the images, sensing the level of comfort and satisfaction. A little bit of tweaking on my part, but things rearrange themselves to meet my slight changes. I ask to enter the final outcome and then.....to open the door to what this leads to down the path. Just a peak.... after all, I'm still in recovery.

Releasing Depression

2010-10-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

It just came to my mind that I've been "tinkering" for several weeks now. Just playing around with things....in this case emotional things. This is a common behavior, mainly used to avoid pain. Just the thought of having these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming. And yes, the thought is usually worse than the actual experience, but this is a hard sell to the emotional childSelf who will do just about anything to stay in a safe place.

But, deep healing does not happen in this safe place and so I must step out of this place and then into the deeper space, or the depression that is holding me hostage. I know from experience that I will be able to move it from the inside position. For some reason I can't seem to budge it from the outside. It simply won't move. Tinkering isn't working. It needs a massive shove. It's rather like putting up with a smoldering toothache, trying to avoid that trip to the dentist, knowing well that the tooth needs to be pulled out. That's what the depression is like this time. It's been smoldering for many months now. I've tinkered and avoided. Now it's time to open the dreaded door, go deeper down and in.

It's not that I don't know what's down there. There's really nothing very new, but there are times or passages in my life when those dregs become more toxic. The door is cracking open as I write this. I know because I'm tearing and that is a good thing. The worse part of depression is the non-feeling or numbness. Disassociating from the pain. My mind knows the pain is huge and so it protects me through the depression. Holding the pain down....way down...like a thumb pressing hard on a little cut. Trying to stop the bleeding. But emotional pain and blood clotting are not the same. And so, the thumb must be removed, so the pain can flow. Only then will there be relief and a place for healing.
Removing the thumb now....gently, nothing abrupt. There is no need to hurry. Just the action matters, giving permission for the opening to occur. Sensing my breathing changing....each breath longer and more steady, just the opposite of what one would imagine. When the thumb is pressed, the breath lives higher in the chest, obstructing and tightening, but now it opens gently, welcoming the release. Like a pimple pressing against the skin, now open and flowing it's pus.

The stairs are before me, black transmuting into white. Going down deliberately but once again in no big hurry. Enjoying the deepening and the body opening. There is a complete absence of fear, as if it were left outside in the fantasy of it, for all fear is fantasy. My fear of the depression is big, for it was my mother who first introduced it to me when I was an impressionable child. Accepting that my childSelf is always with me, but understanding that I am now the motherSelf, caring for the child in ways that my own mother could not. I look for that child in me, wanting to lead her in the deepening, so in the future she will be more mature, opening areas by herSelf with no angst. I locate her and take her by the hand, again gently...no forcing, just leading. Deeper down now...

Images of addictions from the past step to the side. They have no power on the white steps. Their only power is in the fear that lives outside of the deepening steps. Remembering to remember this, for addictions hold me hostage, especially when my child is weak and vulnerable. This has been so over the last few months.
Images in balloons being lifted up and out. Some I can see, but others go far too quickly for my eyes. I sense them slightly, but prefer to let them go. Focusing only slows them down and that is not why I'm here. Remembering the pimple and the flowing pus. There is no need to over-examine the pus for pus is simply pus.

I'm in a deep place now, completely detached from my mind and body, for they are only conveyers or containments for my spiritual Self. This is the place where re-connecting happens. Noticing the plug has been pulled completely. Placing the plug into my Source. The depression sitting like a sad, empty sac by it's side, having no power. I approach the sac, gently folding it up and placing it on the shelf with it's other remnants from the past, reminders of my growth through the years. Honoring what they have taught me, but knowing they are not in charge. Touching them with light. Realizing that I have the power of the light when connected to my Source. My own inner healer released to travel forward with me through my life journey. Reminding me to stay in touch frequently, for it is easy to get lost in life and forget one's origins. Yes....for "I am."

Slowly opening my eyes and re-acclimating to the room. Pen dangling from my fingers, an extension of who I am. A gift from my Source.

Depression Camps

2010-10-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Following the release of my depression, I fell into a deep sleep...one that gifted me with some very colorful dreams. Next to flying dreams, colorful ones are my favorite. Dream-color tends to be more vivid that eyeball-color. Orange speaks orange out loud. Green invites me into gardens with plants conversing in foreign tongues, and as for red....well red is only second to blue. Blue absorbs and entering it, I can feel a gentle throbbing healing taking place.

Depression is a word to describe certain symptoms experienced by the body and mind. While all depressions are different, each depression changes unto itself as it moves through experiences. Each thought, image or happening produces it's own chemical marinade, each multiplying itself, so it's easy to understand how depression accelerates when it owns the car and the gas pedal.

Depression entered my life during early childhood, reinforced through parenting, and then through my desire for it....allowing me to play the power role of victim as I looked for love and acceptance. In those years I was not aware of what I was doing, but even now that it is recognizable, it calls out to me. We tend to flow towards the familiar. Most of the time I keep the details to myself as I continue to reside in this secret, lonely world.

Automatic writing or inner journaling gives me an opening for release. Sometimes the release comes quickly. This time it didn't happen that way. Instead, I nibbled around the outside of it, like eating the colored candy off an M&M before delving into the chocolate. This time the pain was both outer and inner, my body screaming with the tension, at night refusing to sink into the mattress, almost afraid to release it for fear of falling off the Universe. At first review, the mind revealed nothing out of the ordinary list of stressors, but a closer look turned up some mind games that probably pushed me over the edge. Selling our home in a down market, always working, never giving myself release time, aging, anxiety producing physical manifestations and a bundle of fears lined up to display themselves holding signs that told me there were more.

Sometimes releasing such a gambit is even more difficult that diminishing something bigger. There are so many camps to visit, change and then maintain.

I have some questions for my "Journal Master." I mentioned earlier that once the debris is removed, then there is space for creativity, in this instance creative questioning and investigation. I'm looking for growth, for once the nut is cracked, depression holds powerful and valuable gifts. Yes, the cracking was frightening and painful, but not as much as the thoughts that surrounded the idea of it. Once I stopped trying to control the bleeding, everything went smoothly, so...

"Will I ever learn to care for my tendency towards depression?"

My pen responds, "Look at your question and then you tell me the answer."

Oh, it's clear to me now. I've claimed ownership of the tendency towards depression by calling it "mine." Owning something reinforces it unto itself. During the past months...no, actually years, I've certainly claimed this ownership, donating lots of time and attention to it, actually befriending it. No...becoming it.

"Now I've created some space through release, but wondering what to put into that space, especially since all the things that brought me down still exist."

I know the answer before it hits the paper, for this is the way of "automatic journaling." My mind, open and receptive, already knows what I need to know. I've just been blocking with all the tightening.

This is life and life needs care. The body is always text messaging, so tune in. Right now my jaw is aching it's message to me. My compulsions are right outside the door, waiting for me to stop writing so they can take over. The "hurry-up twins" are pushing their way to the front of the queue, trying to bother me even during this special time for myself. I've found them at the gym and even in my meditation...pushing me around. A new breath enters my body. It's very deep and cleansing....the color blue. A healing breath holding a reminder image. My body absorbs both. I'm not alone in this and that is good to know.

Who Owns Who?

2010-09-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

This business of "self-ownership" came up again today. A good point of reference for journaling because it is much more important than it seems on the surface...

OK....where to start? I'll just let my pen make that decision.

We go through life owning all sorts of things. Even as little children we can remember owning our toys, clothes, even people. "My Mommy" comes to mind. Yes, she was MINE and when I held her hand, I remember doing so with pride of ownership. Of course, I knew that my mother had other kids, but in my little egotistical mind that was of no importance. She was mine and mine alone. As a teenager, there was MY boyfriend and MY best girlfriend. Again, pride in ownership, until the day when the boy wandered over to another "property" and my girlfriend made the cheering squad, finding new friends that didn't include me. Those were painful days.

Not learning the lesson, I carried my Ownership Manual into my marriage. My husband also had a manual, so according to the rules, I owned him and he owned me. Even our marriage vows sounded a bit like the manual. In my defense, I never quite cared for the way these vows were written, but in those years no one even thought to write their own version.

Looking back at our history of arguing, it truly all boiled down to the conflicting Ownership Manuals. "Do this because I say so." "You are mine." "Who do you think you are?" "I'm running this ship and I set the rules." "I don't remember giving you permission to buy that." "When are you going to grow up?" Just a few examples.

It's easy to understand how resentment grows when one's personal Manual is simply thrown aside as if it has no value. Then there's that feeling of being held captive, hands tied behind the back.... no escape in sight. Here are the choices...give up, please the other or fight back. It seems to me there needs to be more choices. What am I missing?

The pen scrawls, "You were born alone and you will die alone."

Silence.

And then, "the space in-between those two Events belongs to you. Spend it as you choose."

Being brought to the realization that no one can own another, I put my Manual away. I could dispose of it, but I want to keep it as a reminder of what is my truth. I am free to live my life as I see fit, with the understanding that I must not harm others, but instead help them to grow and experience their own freedom.

I can't help but ask, "Will this be a hard sell?" After all, I've been married for decades. This new position of mine will not be very welcomed.

"There is nothing to sell. Just position yourself between your birth and death, imaging yourself taking care of yourSelf first, then extending your hand to help others. The rest will take care of itself. Perhaps a few bumps, but before long the road will become smoother. While it's true that you might hit other bumps, just drive your own car, for this is the only car you have. How you care for it will determine it's longevity, both emotionally and physically."

In the middle of writing this, I hit a bump. Needing to say "no" when my partner was definitely looking for a "yes." A few insults following...like cow dung being thrown my way. His childSelf obviously not happy with my response, but it is the best thing for me and I deserve to be respected. Therefore, I deliver the respect to mySelf. This means that I'm not needy, nor will I ever be needy because I provide what I need to mySelf. Of course, it would be wonderful if he would also provide it, but since I don't "need" it, then my resentment is lessened. It's easier to shift over to a feel-good position. In the past, the pothole would have prevailed. Another day spent angry and resentful.

I admit to feeling the compulsion to go back and explain my position, but my Higher Self says "no need." Over-explaining is a co-dependent behavior, meaning that I give the keys of my car to someone else. Not the way to drive forward...

What's Inside? The Big Green Garbage Dumpster

2010-09-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

Some days when I sit down with my journal in front of me, I haven't a clue as to what to write. My life seems to be going on an even keel, and part of me prefers not to shake the boat. Obviously there are always going to be things that I'd like to change, but isn't this the way life unfolds? Won't there always be dust in the corners and dirt under the carpet?'

My pen hits the journal "running."

"Is this what you think this journaling project is about? Do you really believe it's about surface dirt??"

Whoops...I guess not.

Getting past the surface crud has always been an issue for me. Yes, it's true. I tend to accept it because sometimes "life just sucks." So, the issue isn't the crud, but what is waiting for me underneath....the gifts of creativity. I know I want them, but getting to them takes a special type of cleaning and clearing.

Long ago, I learned that there is value in garbage. I actually took a course in garbage collecting on the streets of New York. It was given by a "professional" garbage expert who showed us how to shop for garbage and best of all, how to evaluate and then climb into those great big green dumpsters. My heart still beats fast when I pass one of them...wondering what sort of treasures are hidden there. Yes, I want to climb up and in even though it isn't politically correct. I remember my husband telling me NEVER to tell anyone about my "hobby". One evening I found myself at a dinner party sitting next to a professor of pediatrics. When he asked me what I did for fun, I did bite my tongue and gave some easy answer like cooking...reading...you get the idea. Then, I asked him about his hobbies. "Oh...I collect garbage at the local dump." My childSelf sat up straight..."how do you manage that?" He proudly took out his "dump pass." That part of me was mesmerized and so yes, I shared some of my green dumpster experiences with him. It was a great evening.

I like remembering that story, but for different reasons. Garbage has great metaphorical meaning and there is value in all of it, but it does take courage to climb into the dumpster of the mind, because that's where the garbage is located.

Here are some good ground rules...

Handle garbage with care. While it may be dirty and have nails or other things that can cut you, it also has great value. Sometimes the dirtiest garbage harbors the biggest secrets.

If you respect the garbage, it will respect you. The garbage is not out to get you. As you examine it, feel free to ask "opening questions." A couple of examples, "What can you tell me about yourself?" or... "What lessons can you teach me?" If you are working hypnotically or in automatic journaling, those answers will come quickly into your mind as thoughts or will flow off the end of your pen.

Work with imaginology. Ask the garbage image to open and ask to see the creative insides. You may be surprised at what comes forth for you. You might ask permission to "gift" it with a positive affirmation or a respectful visit, perhaps a healing of forgiveness, compassion or deep understanding for any part you played.

All experiences, garbage included, have a variety of suggestions or plans for making your life better than before. If they are not forthcoming, ask for them. Remember, the mind works backwards and all plans flow from the end to the beginning.

Always remember to show gratitude and never trash it...you will always be rewarded!

Subway Rush Hour!

2010-09-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

Relax. Let go. Breathe. Meditate. Stop the pushing. Where do I get off?

Living in my body/mind is like riding the NYC subway at rush hour. This morning I explained to my journal that it's always been like this, so what is the purpose of changing? Well, according to my pen, just because something "has always been" doesn't mean that it "needs to remain," nor does it necessarily mean that it is a "good thing."

I hate being woken up in this way. It's much more comfortable to just stay asleep. But, comfort isn't why I came back to inner journaling. Another example of thinking something is a good idea and then waking up in the middle of the pain. Like the last time we tiled the bathroom. The pictures of the finished project looking great in my head, but the tiles slipped into their own version of the truth. Now, once again, questioning my moments of insanity, expecting things to be the way my mind perceives.

The last weeks have been filled with continuous "subway travel." The doors never opening. No respite....just pushing and shaking my body back and forth. A meditation unto itself?

The other passengers appear hypnotized, locked in their own world. Thinking that if someone were to shove a knife into my side, no one would notice my blood dripping on the floor. Leaves me with the belief that we're all very alone on this train ride, going towards destinations that either exist or not.

Lots of chit chat about choices and road maps and decision making and the rest of the usual mind garbage. It's amazing how we can repeat all of this day after day, then sleep and get up for more of it. Yes, we do get to some destinations, but for most of us we sleep through our arrival or don't even enjoy it when we get there.

"Sounding depressed today?" Ahhh...the pen flowing "therapist ink."

Thinking about this and wondering if all days are filled with some level of depression. Can hardly remember a fully sunny day. Are there such days? Have to ask around, but first have to find someone who might actually know about these. Off the top of my head, I can't think of who to ask. Certainly no one in my immediate environment. I could go to the playground and ask a child, but then again, children rarely know how happy they are because they are so much "in the moment."

Oh that damn phrase..."in the moment." The place to go. The place to be. And, if one doesn't go there, then the chances of meeting one's true Self is next to slim. But where is this place and does this train go there?? How do I know when or where to get off this dang thing?

Now, I'm not saying that I've never been "in the moment", because I have been there. The problem is that I don't know how I got there or how to get back. I question the number of people who talk about this place. My feelings are that if they live "in the moment", then why are they talking about it as a place to go, instead of a place where they actually reside? To my mind, if you are "in the moment", you are too absorbed to pay attention to anyone or anything else. The focus is far too grand to give your attention to me.

So...can I be "in the moment" while riding this subway?

My pen smiles. Of course. Think of yourself as living and participating in the "circus of the world." This is a highly emotional place where everyone is lost in the acting out of their own personal drama. The stories are repeated over and over, each time etching them further into the subconscious mind. All drama is fiction. It's not happening "in the moment", so even IF it truly happened before, it's not happening now and so it's fiction. When you repeat a story, either out load or in your mind, you are busy re-telling a fictional account of something. And, you cannot be in your fictional story and "in the moment" at the same time. In addition, others are always inviting, even pushing others into their drama, almost like going into the audience and pulling someone onto the stage of a play. Experience this OR ELSE!

Living in the "circus of the world" keeps you there. In order to "live in the moment" you must choose to leave the circus. Yes, you can do this at any moment and it's really quite simple. First, you must know the difference between the circus and the non-circus. It helps to have an image for the latter. I like the image of a "golden egg." Let's go ahead and feel what it feels like to be inside that "golden egg." You reach that destination with a simple awareness that you are in the circus and choose to leave and then....notice your next breath and ride it inside the golden egg. It will open to greet you.

Once inside, sense the stillness. Looking out, notice that the circus is outside and you are not a part of it. You can observe it, but you are in a quiet place. Other images can greet you, enhancing your "golden egg experience." I like to sense the gold filling my body, part by part, almost elevating me or inviting me to float inside the egg. Free, light and airy. So relaxed, but able to observe the actions and behaviors of others. Just like being in the audience of a theater, but this time, you are not up on the stage in the drama, but instead just observing or witnessing. As you become more skilled, you can add more images to expand your experience, but for today, this is just fine.

"So, where does my depression go?" The pen is used to my questioning, respecting my desire to know even more.

Depression, anxiety, high level emotions....all live in the circus of the world. When you enter the egg, they simply leave. Now I know what you are going to ask. "Will they find me when I find myself back in the circus?" They might, especially if they are well-conditioned like old shoes, but then, it's up to you to disengage from them...."in the moment." Big Pen Smile!!

Oh....that Sugar!

2010-09-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

In the practice of hypnotherapy, or in this instance "inner journaling", images are utilized to evoke change in the subconscious mind. The work involves cleaning and clearing, also looked upon as releasing and then planting new mind programs that will build upon themselves. It's important to know that the mind works backwards. Once an image or program is planted, it will take on it's own life which includes making a plan and then working it forward. For example, today I'm going to work in the area of my eating issues. I've had these most of my life and while I've made lots of progress over the years, when stress is high, some of these find new ways of inching into my life. If you have any kind of disorderly eating, which most of us do, then you will recognize this as your own.

Nothing is perfect and perfection is never the goal. Sigh of relief!

Journaling early in the morning works best for me. My inner mind and my "journal master" like to know that there will be no interruptions. As we enter the creative center of the subconscious mind, it's easy to understand why this is the choice environment. There is power in stillness. Just sitting in the center of quiet opens the mind to what wants to show itself. Sometimes negative programs come forward, so this is the opportunity to release them. The subconscious mind doesn't judge, so it doesn't know if you want to keep the negative programs. The more frequently these are played without being released, the more conditioned they become.

Lately I've let some negative eating programs play out. Obviously, this is not what I want, but in the moment they are playing, the obstructionists are ever present skillfully pushing their desires, making up fantastic stories. Foods mysteriously appearing in my shopping cart and fridge. The obstructionists are the parts of me that are highly conditioned to wanting the addictive behavior. We all have these and in certain areas of life, especially addiction, it's important, even vital for survival, to know how to dismiss or manage them.

In this blog I'm working directly in my own subconscious mind and inviting you to sit with me and follow the process. It's not complicated, but it does take a special discipline. You might believe that discipline is something you can't do, especially if you are disorderly, but in truth, most disorder is actually disciplined or conditioned. Addictions are conditioned. Today I'm going to address some very old conditioned or negatively disciplined mind programs that need releasing.

Mind programs are in layers. That is why they can re-occur. Some layers are easier to remove than others. Some are partially removed, while others sit and hide, waiting for a good stressful moment to re-appear. This is what I'm dealing with right now.

It's time to take out my journal and give power to my pen. Just their appearance on my desk acts as a catalyst for deepening my trance state. When stress is high, it's actually easier to release or deepen. I can sense my body's happiness at seeing the journal and pen. It's anticipating release and that is reason to rejoice. Imagine being a tense body and then finally someone arrives and loosens you. See what I mean?

Deeper down, I'm in the area of my eating issues. I have an area already assigned to these. The image is delightful....warm and serene. A beautifully appointed condo...walking around now, enjoying the interior decoration and design. I'm setting the scene for what comes next. There is no point in fighting, punching or attacking any negative behavior for that only etches or conditions it further. Entering the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator and cupboards. Healthy foods present. Admiring them, tasting some and feeling the joy of healthy eating. In the past, my eating was far from healthy, and so I have new conditioned mind programs in this area.

As I look to the back of the fridge, I see some foods that are usually not present. Most are chocolate or sugary. While some are allowed, I'm not happy that these are placed in the back. That is a hiding behavior, set up to deceive. I know this part of me. It's programs are very old and very dangerous. If not cleaned and cleared, they can attach themselves to other parts of my life. Not something I want.

Moving those objects forward. Noticing there are too many. Reading the thought programs attached to the objects....the reasoning, excuses, etc. Calling in the responsible "childSelf." Using a gentle, but firm voice. My Higher or Therapeutic Self is in charge. I'm the writer, director and producer of my life and not the childSelf. Obviously, I could have just removed the items, but it's important to discipline the part of me that slipped up. There is no discussion. Nothing. No words. No thoughts. Just action. Removal of what needs to go and celebration of what can stay. Standing back and admiring the "job well done." Another person enters. This is an "older Self." Thanking the child for giving her health and for being an important part of the "health team."
I'm taking this subject a bit further, because the undesirable food did come into the house and so that must be addressed as well. I don't like throwing things away, so the behavior needs to be managed where it originated....in the supermarket.

Mind travel is very quick!! Off to the market with the child and the older Self. Sensing the shopping cart, feeling the cool metal under my hands, brings me further down into the trance. Touching the child's hair...holding the hand of my elder and now walking down the aisles, passing items that aren't needed in our "high level health program." Breathing and relaxing. Feeling the freedom from compulsion...

There are two types of motivation....negative and positive. While I use both, the positive motivator or freedom from compulsion is my favorite. Each time I remember to feel the feeling, the sense of freedom is re-etched in my mind, becoming stronger and more powerful. It makes me smile inwardly...

Library Visit

2010-09-17T09:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a long while since I've been inside my own library. Rather like the cobbler who walks around with holes in his shoes.

It's interesting how we choose careers based on our own needs. The medical profession is famous for this. Always looking to fix others. I'm reminded of our professor of psychiatry who had a special handkerchief for opening doors. I entered the field of nursing through a back door. Fear of blood, accidents and death. The automobile accident that killed my father. My early child negatively impressed with the image of the "jaws of life" that extricated him from the car. Big bear teeth compressed on my daddy's body.

I've always been impressed with pain and death. Pain, both physical and emotional. The fear drawing me closer, while the child wanting to run, hide and just peak from around the corner. A sick enjoyment of feeling frightened, even wanting to vomit. Living life on the edge, an early indication of the addictive tendencies that would shadow my life.

I don't cry about my life. My father's death and all that followed did pave the way for an interesting life and career choices. I know how to enter dark places and learned how to exit them as well. For all of this, I'm grateful. Would it have been better not to have had these experiences? One could argue that, but as an observer of life and it's inherent difficulties, I know that I prefer knowing what my experiences have given me. How many people find themselves in pain, but stay stuck? My career choice is more than obvious.

However, fixing others is not the same as fixing oneself. This is what I want to discuss with my "journal master." I understand my attraction to my career, but I'd like to be able to place myself first without having to think about it. Growing up bathed in guilt and shame, a chambermaid of sorts, it's been difficult for me to make an easy slide from that awareness into placing myself first. Yes, I can do it, but placing "me first" on auto-pilot is still an awkward maneuver and I'd like to change that. My current auto-pilot goes something like this:

"Take care of everyone else first, then you can take care of yourself. If there is no time left, then wait for the next day....or the next....or the one after that, for indeed, it really doesn't matter." One day, when my children were young, I remember looking in the mirror and being shocked at what was reflected back at me. "When did I wash my hair last?"
"Cook what other people like, for their desires are more important. It doesn't really matter what you eat. You like everything anyway." I believe that the early seedlings of my "secret bingeing" are housed in this department. I'd certainly like to place these in some protective box, where I can see them, but they are without power. I still feel their presence on occasion.

"It's OK to purchase things for yourself, but always bring something for the others, for if not, you will appear selfish." Other seedlings live in this place. Purchasing, hiding and then bringing things out "pretending" that they aren't new. Games we play.

Oh...this looks terrible on paper. Me, a therapist, thinking like this? Or...I could also say, "me a mother" thinking like this? Or, "me a wife" thinking like this? Or, "me a friend or colleague" thinking like this?

My "journal master" stands by my side, hand on my shoulder, telling me that "while these truths are uncomfortable, shedding light on them will bring me to a higher balance." It's time to go to the library and make some choices.

Relaxing deeply and going down the spiral staircase is easy for me. I'm energized by my self-work. Taking special time only for myself is something I've always craved. Making the decision to be present daily is already showing it's value in my daily life. I am grateful for the guidance of Spirit. Now realizing that I am spirit, everything becomes easier. Noticing that I carry my two birth books. What I've come to learn and what I've come to teach.

Finding myself already inside my library. On the shelves in front of me are all of the articles, books, patient care plans, family care plans, folders of notes, years of day-timers and every audio program I've ever written or recorded. I'm stunned at the accumulation of accomplishments over the decades. Like most people, tending to forget what's been achieved, only choosing to see what has been left undone....dreams, etc. Realizing that "yes, these were also once dreams, but now they simply sit, unnoticed." I'm asked to give gratitude for all of these things, including the ones that appear partially finished, for these are seeds of pure creativity, ready to teach as well.

So, nothing is really unfinished? Everything is "finished unto itself." Realizing how cruel and hateful I've been to these dimensions of my life. Asking for forgiveness and honoring the creative undertaking.

Scanning the self-hypnotic audio programs. Looking into the written scripts, all reading like new. Remembering writing these, often wondering where the words came from, but now I know. My spiritual self residing in my human body. Of course. No wonder it was so easy to write these, but now comes the question, "if Spirit wrote these and I am Spirit in a human body, then why do I still find myself buried in old issues?"

Everything is "finished unto itself." "Are you telling me that I'm NOT buried in old issues? Then, what are these things that I'm experiencing?" I'm eager to gather information about my disorderly eating and "ego" disruptions. Waiting for the pen to flow the answer onto my paper.

As per the pen, "You are never in the same place. Even if you have been to a place before, it is not the same place. Everything changes. Your issues, environment and even you are in continuous change. Every time you address an issue it is different. Different time, place and individual. Each time you read something you have already learned, researched or written, it comes with a brand new message. Spirit brings what is needed in that moment. All you need to do is to be in a receptive state with a willingness to change."

I'm filled with new excitement about what's on the library shelves. Where to begin...again? "Why not start at the beginning," suggests the pen.
"The beginning of what?"

"The beginning of anything."

Hide and Seek

2010-09-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

Oh....that desire and search for one's "true Self." Perhaps that's a reason why I'm journaling again. Tossing off all the encumbering coats, hoping the person I'm looking for is somewhere underneath.

My "journal master" finds this a delightful subject, encouraging me to put pen to paper. This subject has always intrigued me and I do admit to being on this journey, but it's been a long hunt and wondering if this is just one of those never ending, fruitless games life Farmville. Never enough crops, buildings or animals. Do self-searchers have levels like farmers? Wondering what those statistics say about my progress....and is it progress that I'm looking for OR is it the true treasure....my true Self.

Life is both long and short. Considering if there is actually such a person, and if so, where is she and how can I find her. Is she living in an exact place on my time-line? Is this all nonsense? Should I care?

Then wondering IF she truly exists, do I want to find her? And, for what purpose? Suppose my true Self doesn't get along with my husband, kids or anyone else. What if she doesn't like my career choices and has desires that aren't within my means? What then? More stress? Since I can't imagine anyone free of problems or issues, does she have a new variety for me to deal with? Certainly don't need that.

Remembering the time when I had psychotherapy after being very ill. No longer knew how to be well. Remembering my family not approving of the "new me." I imagined myself a chameleon, changing back and forth, of course, always to please others. My psychotherapist likened me to a caterpillar who was turning into a butterfly. No wonder I was more confused than ever. So much for looking for my true Self.

I ask my pen to answer "do true Selves have eating disorders?" Wouldn't mind being free of that. Life without bingeing or craving junk. Now, that might be worth leaving town for."

That last question must have popped the cork because I'm told that it is time to go deeper down the spiral staircase. Reminds me of my mother when she had enough of me. Yes, I know how to do this, so catching up with my deepening breath, I sit comfortably allowing the breath to take me deeper down. Pleasurable sensations as the body opens, releasing stored tension. The mind quiets, stillness prevails. Comfortable, like being inside a protective womb. Noticing the thoughts going down the path, to a place where thoughts go. Relieved of their duties. Probably exhausted from residing in my super-active mind....like traffic in Times Square.

Finding myself on the golden path and going in the direction of the light. This is where I usually meet up with my emotions, both negative and positive. But, today things are different. My past and future paths are filled with people of different ages, even babies being carried in baby-backpacks. I'm surprised that the very oldest people are walking without any help or devices. While they look old, their energy and spirit are obviously high. I'm confused regarding the number of people and return to my journal to clarify what's going on.

When journaling hypnotically, the pen writes by itself, without any efforting on my part. The question is known before even asking. The people are taking the places of the emotions. The ones from my past path are sitting on the left. Those from the future path, sitting on the right. According to my pen, other than the obvious, this holds no importance. It's not like one side is negative, the other positive as when the emotions appeared. They are simply divided into past and present. The youngest baby is my birth self. The oldest woman is my last self. Each individual carries two books. One represents what they have come to learn; the other what they have come to teach.

"Oh....then...my true Self is somewhere in the crowd?"

The pen writes, "Your true Self is everywhere...in the self-images and in everything else. It has no boundaries. It is not your body, your mind, your thoughts, your emotions, your habits, behaviors or addictions. While it is present in those things, it is not those things. Your true Self is a spiritual essence. Look to the light."

Rays coming down, infusing all who are present including myself. Or, whoever I am, for at this point I know nothing at all, except that "I am."

This knowing is both old and new. I can't say that I didn't know this, because I did, but to sense this in the inner environment where I now find myself, is new. Yes, I have felt the connection before, but not in this way. The difference seems to be the presence of my time-line people. These are my mentors, both past and present. The two books that they hold are filled with gifts for me. A new understanding emerges. The books will guide me forward, even the books of the past individuals. Exactly how this will happen is not clear to me, but I'm assured that all will happen as it is meant to be....now that my connections have been made whole.

Apple Carts & People Pleasing

2010-09-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

Underneath personal "disorder" or "chaos" you can find the clues for healing. In this section of my blog, I invite you to look inside my own "inner journal", as I continue to manage my own disorderly eating issues.

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Oh, these darn "apple carts."

As I wander around my life areas, the carts seem to be strewn all over the place. I'm stunned to even find them in my Adult or Teacher Self area. What is this telling me? Of course I know without even asking my Journal. I'm a born pleaser. Even in areas where I excel, I'm so careful not to upset others. In fact, this has matured into a skill of mine. Yes, I'm an expert at not upsetting others.

How do I do this?

By "super-policing" ...noticing early indicators upset in others....perhaps even before they do. I remember someone telling me that I would make a wonderful "English butler." Taking care of everyone's needs, real or imagined, even before the need was born. Obviously, this is a very wearing job and not a healthy one.

The rationale in my conditioned mind goes like this. " IF all needs of others are met, then there will be no interruption in whatever it is that I want to do for myself." And..."if all apple carts are kept upright, then no time needs to be spent picking up the spilled apples." Obviously, this is a very wearing job and not a healthy one.

Question. How to resign from my "English butler" duties and what about those apples that will inevitably spill because there is no butler? Who will keep the carts steady or be responsible for picking up the apples?

Answer. "No one."

As for resigning, consider it done. No one can Journal in this area and not resign. It's a given. This is the power of Inner Hypnotic Journaling. Uncovering a block or unwanted behavior or habit, then releasing it. While you may find yourSelf missing your butler uniform, notice that it is no longer "fitting."

"OK, but what about the apples?" Another indication that it's tough to let go.

"Let the apples roll where they may. You will soon come to realize that the large majority of them don't belong to you." Oh, my control issue appears. The part of me that wants to own and rule all the apples. If I take ownership, then my life will be easier. Another ridiculous story of my conditioned mind. My tired body and mind speak out. "All this apple tending is exhausting. It would be a huge relief to just let go."

All of this looks good on paper, but what about in real life. Questioning if I would really be able to just look the other way when the apples fall and roll. Will I feel guilty? I'm so used to caring for everyone and every thing.

Obviously my desire to control is not going to go quietly into the night. This is such a huge conditioned habit, one that can be traced back to early childhood. "Keep Mommy happy and you will be happy," goes the story. "Upset Mommy and life will be hell for everyone and you will be the cause." Early apple cart training.

Early stories are often very potent and best cared for in deeper trance, so I choose to go there. When the childSelf makes her appearance on the pages of my Journal, this is an indication that a deep release is possible. When she hides, then things are more difficult, so riding my breath now....going deeper down with ease, as if she is helping me to get there quickly.

She's waiting for me as I disembark from my traveling breath. A bit scruffy, but obviously a very responsible child...too responsible for her age. Reminds me of images of children laboring in factories and fields. Uncomfortable to see this. It's a lucky day for me. She is opening the "origination door." This is the earliest mind program. The program that started the need to please. The door is very heavy and I offer to help. "No, I can do it," she says. I find mySelf crying. She's so independent for someone so young...or is she? Sensing this is another part of the mind program. "I must pretend to be strong so I can take care of everyone and every thing."

I push the door open with her. Never again will she be expected to do these things....never again. We find ourSelves in the living area of our house. Our mother is lying on a chaise meant for the garden, making the scene even more imbalanced. Garden furniture belongs in the garden, not in the living room. Mothers don't do these things. Symbols of chaos despite the quietness. Is mother dying? In the eyes of the child, the mother symbol is already dead. The mother is severely depressed following the untimely death of the father. The mother is very angry, but holds it in place below the depression. The father died on the child's birthday and the child is held hostage in the mother's memory bank, as the two are linked together for life.

The child's job is defined by the mother. "Mother is sick and so, be a good girl and keep mother happy. Can you do that?" Of course, I know the child's reply. I've lived it.

Lesson Plan...No apples must fall from the cart. If the apples are kept steady, then things will be better. Always tend to the cart first before doing anything for yourSelf, for the mother is the most important person. If the mother is upset, she will also die and the child will be responsible. The child will become an expert at caring for the cart and all apples will be her responsibility.

I kiss the mother good-bye and take possession of the cart....flipping it over and watching the apples roll this way and that way. The child is frightened, but as laughter fills the image, the child begins to smile. Falling apples are not the end of the world...

Stepping Out of Procrastination

2010-08-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

Stepping into change is often difficult, or so we would like to believe. Most of us tend to repeat "trying" and often deciding that the areas in which we seek change are simply unattainable. Why this inability to change such important behaviors that threaten our health? The keys below may open some doors for you. It's time to move past old failure patterns and onto the path pointing towards Optimum Health.

KEY: I

If you want to change, you must begin to think differently. It's not enough to daydream a resolution. The road to permanent lifestyle change takes time and a special kind of planning and execution. Pre-resolution work includes having a solid look at past failures and locating facets of the resolution that need revamping. The willingness to observe and work with past failures is key to success. In addition, it's time to grow-up, wake up to truth and move out of unrealistic expectations.

Meet Sue, a successful, but burned out executive who brought her resolution daydream to my practice. "If I lose weight, my life will balance. I'll be completely happy and never complain again! However, I've never been able to lose weight and keep it off and so I guess I need some magic! Perhaps I shouldn't do this before the holidays or while I have so much stress in my life." It's easy to see that Sue is already lost in mind confusion. She has no plan and has even programmed herself for failure before beginning.

KEY: II

Sue looks for magic, but magic has no place here. Heightened awareness is the route to success. The idea of magic erodes her personal power. Her mode of travel needs change, as well as her power of observation. She needs to train her mind to notice the unfolding moments of her day, what works and what doesn't. These are small resolution facets including thoughts emotions and actions. As they are brought to awareness, stress is released and the facets are ready for editing change. These then become new mind etchings, the beginning of new patterns, that will enhance Sue's ability to succeed.

KEY: III

It is imperative to uncover the auto-pilot programs. This is a matter of becoming expert at self-observation. As Sue learns to pay attention to her body communications, emotional patterns and built in resistance, she will spot these, as well as other pattern facets that may have gone un-noticed for years. Once spotted, she can work to reprogram these with those that benefit the resolution. On auto-pilot, Sue is out of her personal editing-game. Her heightened awareness is blocked and she can't spot the facets. She is blinded and may trip instead of skip on the stones that line her path. The chances that she will fall and not get up are very high. She might appear next year with her weight loss resolution, but this time more heavily etched for failure.

KEY: IV

The practice of heightened awareness, also known as mindfulness is vital to both stress management and achievement. Adding Interactive Self-Hypnosis helps to position images that assist the mind in waking up in specific moments. As Sue learns to apply this practice to the facets of her resolution, she will notice that she is awakened to other moments that have connections she might have missed, especially stress-related ones.

The actual practice tools are very simple, their power sitting in this simplicity. Sue learns to purposefully experience inner stillness, fractionated throughout her day. She comes to know stillness as separate from mind chatter. As her mind wanders, Sue brings her attention back to the sensation of stillness or the goal at hand. She comes to understand that her thoughts are mind programs that are presented by her emotions and as she isolates these she can examine the contents further, simply by request to her subconscious librarian. As Sue goes throughout her day, she begins to notice the playing of thoughts and emotions as they apply to her resolution facets. As she contains these in her consciousness, she is free to edit, as they were caught in a mindful moment.

It's important to know that there are many health benefits to this practice of awareness coupled with interactive self-hypnosis. When thoughts are predominating the awake state, the brain waves are going very fast, producing a large quantity of stress chemicals. These chemicals are responsible for making important changes in the body, often disrupting important systems, such as blood pressure, heart rate, metabolism, blood sugar levels, gastro-intestinal functioning including digestion, endocrine function and that of the neurological system. During the practice of fractionated stillness, the brain waves and stress hormone productions slow down, bringing homeostasis or balance back to the body and mind. The mind is now free for the programming of healthy active imagery.

Sue is learning to wake-up to her emotional and thoughts that make her life patterns and resolution facets. As she works to couple awareness with "Interactive-Editing Imagery" she removes herself from her failure mode and utilizes this moment to transition to one of success.

Self-Examining Eating Issues

2010-08-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

Why do we have disorderly eating patterns and why is it so difficult to overcome these? I’ve worked with thousands of patients over the years, both in my office and online, most asking the same question. Some know the answers, but do not welcome them for it’s easier to stay in denial, to give permission to fail, so as to not face the truth and do the work involved. Lynn-Ellen, a high profile television writer, attended one of my workshops. Her food and beverage intake assessment made it easy to know why she was over-weight and I was surprised that she didn’t seem to know this. When I suggested some changes she became incredibly angry and went into a tirade about how stress-filled her days were and if this were the way, she certainly would have done it by now. Lynn-Ellen is an emotional eater who will need a very different approach in order to be successful at losing weight & staying healthy.

For the emotional eater, the idea of changing one’s eating habits can be very frightening and even simple or mild changes can be met with all sorts of procrastination devices. The level of creativity and emotional states enlisted to protect the self from even beginning to change can be quite something to observe. Food related thoughts can play out in the DVD of the mind throughout the day and especially when stress is high or when involved in triggering situations such as shopping, restaurants, social occasions and the workplace. Certain emotions have higher trigger value than others depending on the individual.

Some emotional eaters trigger when home alone or in the middle of the night, even keeping food hidden under the pillow or the bed to avoid bringing attention to a cupboard raid. Others eat in the car, hiding wrappings under the seat until they can dispose of them safely. The time of day can a full-blown binge, many occurring on the way home from work, a good time to release work stress before entering home-based stress. Compulsions can be intensely draining, attacking the emotional eater with real physical and/or emotional pain.

How does one begin to take control of such a complex situation and stay motivated long enough to build new habits? In my experience, I like to take the emotional eater into a nutritional self-discipline, working forward from there. It helps to know that practicing poor nutrition is not a small thing. It’s akin to digging a big dangerous hole while teetering on the edge. For most of us, there is no time to waste. The following steps are etched into the mind and traced over and over again.

The Physical Component

Lynn-Ellen needs to get to know her self and what her body needs. Each of us was born with genetic tendencies towards all sorts of things, including certain diseases. Genetics are wonderful wake-up tools because they guide us towards knowing what our body and mind needs in order to stay well over the course of our lifetime. Ignoring genetics is asking for trouble. The body and mind have specific needs in relation to food and beverage, as well as timings for having these. The body is a machine that needs to be taken care of in a very specific way. If this is ignored the mind will be headed for trouble as well. Everything is about getting this right.

The Emotional Component

Managing disorderly eating means being willing to look at many aspects of our personality, including the lessons of our early mentors, including parents, family members, siblings, teachers, friends and whoever handed us our belief system. Whether we are addicted or not, part of what ails us can be found in these lessons. Once we are willing to identify these and not shy away, we can learn to release them or at least part of them. Lynn-Ellen, like many of us, didn’t get the self-nurturing she needed as a child, or even later in life. Perhaps she weren’t allowed to express her emotions in a healthy manner. Maybe she didn’t learn to self-regulate or to set healthy boundaries for her self.

When these tools of self-management are not sufficiently developed or missing entirely, one tends to go to excess to manage the unresolved stress. Going to excess over and over again, etches the habit into the subconscious mind where it is ready answer to any stress chemical production.. It can certainly be frightening to be without one’s habit when stress appears.

The Higher Self Component

Each of us has a Higher Self. This part is mature, balanced & knowing. This part does not hide from the truth, no matter how painful. It embraces it, getting to know it intimately. The Higher Self understands that facing reality is the way to freedom from emotional eating. Connecting frequently through the practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis or specially designed inner work allows one to self-examine & to manage the surrounding emotions. Lynn-Ellen is learning that managing her emotional eating is a journey in self-discovery & can be the catalyst for change throughout a good portion of her life.

2010 copyrighted. May not be reproduced without permission of author.

Follow My Community

2010-08-11T12:47:00.001-07:00

Releasing Old Drama

2010-03-15T11:21:00.001-07:00

In this section of FaceBook University, we're working with my program, "Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It." There is an additional workshop going on & that one is about "Interactive Self-Hypnosis." The workshops are free & open to all Fans of my Pages. Those links are on my FB Wall.

Releasing Old Stories & Drama

Coming out from behind the rock is easier for some than for others. A lot depends on your past & present level of drama, as well as your family emotional & medical history. If your early years contained lots of punishment, including criticism & humiliation, you tend to attach those to your daily life moments & to your addiction or eating issues. If your family practiced poor eating habits & there is a history of adult onset diabetes, circulatory & heart disease, along with other chronic conditions and/or addictions, including alcohol, drugs, nicotine or others, you may or may not have difficulty coming out of hiding because of the physiological & psychological reasons. You may have failed many times, not being able to manage your hunger levels, thinking something was wrong with you, but not knowing what. The mystery may keep you from trying something different.

Sometimes, people with eating issues feel shame, not only about themSelves, but about the habits of their families. I've met so many patients throughout the years who became "addicted" to not being like their family because they were so ashamed of the secrets that went on behind the walls. There is also the fear of not being loved or accepted if one were to change, especially in co-dependent relationships.

Food addiction, especially sugar & high glycemic carbohydrates have woven physiological & psychological components. This was the problem that I had & even though having the ability to be very disciplined in other areas, I was not able to break through this food-related addiction. I remember being so crazed by this that I felt like I should be institutionalized. Obviously, this was a very low moment for me, but the truth of the matter was that I simply could not understand why I couldn't stop some of the things I was doing. It was like some other being took over my body & I was just the observer.

The things we bring out from behind our rocks will all be different, but they will all be "old dramas & stories." Here's the moment of truth...we only two choices with what we bring out....we either choose to keep them & keep talking about them OR we choose to change. I'm sure that you know plenty of people who have chosen to keep their "old dramas & stories, perhaps even adding more fictionalized episodes to them." They talk about their weight, dieting, foods that haunt them, why they can't change, when they might be able to change if they could change, which, of course, as the drama/story goes, they cannot. Some of the stories go back decades & all set out to prove that they are imprisoned by these, keeping them victims. No one can save them. People have so many versions of old food stories that they could publish volumes.

One day, I think I was standing by the water cooler at work, I became aware of a tremendous tension in my body. In that moment, I decided that I had enough of listening to others & responding with my own competitive versions of "I'm a bigger victim than you are." That moment was almost like being stung by a bee. It came as a powerful THOUGHT, almost like a "mind-blast." You know the kind. I simply knew that I didn't want to hear another word about food issues & that I had to dig mySelf out of my own hole. There was only one shovel & I owned it.

Here are some truths. In addiction, or anything else for that matter, what you think is what you attract, so if I was continually "feeding" my mind with my food stories & those of others, I was making my issues worse. On that day I told my colleagues that I wouldn't be sharing in any of these conversations any longer & that while it didn't have anything to do with my respect for them & I certainly wasn't judging them, it just wasn't what I needed to be doing. Even though I said this in a kind way....goodness me! What a reaction this caused!! It was quite obvious that this "food thing" was a highly emotional topic & very personal. In that moment I felt alone & realized that I wouldn't be spending any more time at the water cooler.

I had another experience on an email discussion group. I sent a post suggesting that instead of repeating what we believed we couldn't do, that we should work on "writing new stories" & placing ourSelves inside of these, inviting our subconscious mind, Higher Self or Power or whatever one believes in, to help out & to turn in the direction of health. It didn't take long for an email to arrive in my mailbox dropping me from the group. What this told me was that people preferred staying behind the rock where it was safe, but of course, that is just an illusion & a dangerous one at that.

My own family wasn't especially intrigued with my ideas either. But at least they didn't drop me! From that day on the "old stories" were off the radar. As I began to walk a new road, I sensed a lot of fear in my family. I never suggested that they should change, but seeing me change was very threatening & I had to wear my "courage coat."

Now, as a Clinician & Educator, I do believe that we must face these old dramas & stories. Going further, we must take them apart & that is for several reasons. If we don't face them, then it is difficult, if not impossible to heal them. What's very interesting is that as we face them, open them & communicate with them, these very parts of the "old stories" will take us into the areas of healing that are often hidden from consciousness. This is why we utilize "interactive self-hypnosis." As you stick with me, we'll get into this type of specialized imagery.

But, for now...I'd like you to take some of your "old story books" that you brought from behind the rock & write down their titles. After you do that, find a place for them in the "library of your mind"....on a back shelf, where they can be made available for some work we can do later.

Here are some of mine. You could also call these your "beliefs."

"I'm Sugar Addicted"
"I'm a Carbohydrate Addict"
"I Don't Like Healthy Food"
"I'm Always Hungry So I Have to Eat"
"My Refrigerator Speaks My Name"
"I'm Lazy When It Comes to Cooking"
"Junk Food is My Best Friend"
"The Happy Binger"
"I Love My Secrets"
"I Love Cookies & There Are Never Enough"
"I'll Never Be At a Healthy Weight Until I Die"
"I Have No Will Power & I'm Stuck"
"I'm a Loser & That Has Nothing to do With Weight"
"I'm Not Good Enough"
"I Can Never Stop This & I Don't Want To"

ohh...there are so many more, but this is it for a start.

Copyright 2010 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be reproduced without permission of the author.

The Coming Out Party

2010-03-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

I have asked all of you to come out from behind your "hiding rock" & while you may notice others coming out with you, because this is the way "imagery of the mind" works, each of you will come alone. Here's why. You were born alone & will die alone. The place in-between is called "Your Life." Please repeat that aloud! This is not the life of anyone else, but Your Life. It doesn't belong to your mother, father, children, husband, significant other or anyone else. It's very important for you to understand this, because most people with eating issues are co-dependent & have been since early childhood. Unfortunately, those of us who have eating issues & I include mySelf, live lives that are so intertwined with the lives of others, that we often don't know where we end & others begin. This is what we'll call a "co-dependent mindGame" & it needs to end because here we are beginning a new Journey.

Now, I already hear your question because I've heard it so many times, even from my own co-dependent self. How can I be separate from others & what about my responsibilities to others? The first part of the question is easy to answer. When your umbilical cord was cut, you were separated from your mother. Yes, she & others brought you up, but you were a separate being from that moment forward. Even when you believed that you were connected, that was a fictional story you told & sold to yourSelf. Perhaps you fell in love with the story & maybe you're still in love with it. Being separate can be both easy & difficult. It can be enjoyable & painful. Here's a sample of a descriptive "life script." You were taught things & then you went off into the world to practice them on your own. Sometimes you succeeded & other times you fell down, but then you got up & learned from the fall. In some parts of the story of life-script, others came to rescue you, even when you were completely capable of taking care of yourSelf. Perhaps they meant well. They loved & wanted to protect you, but even so, this was the birth of controlling, often stunting your confidence in yourSelf, as well as taking away your right to figure out your own issues.

In life, everything is about balance. As a child, it was difficult to see what was happening. I know you have seen children that fall down, then look around before crying, making sure they will be heard & then rescued. Unfortunately, this can become a very bad habit & is very connected to the development of co-dependency & connected addictions.

Now, back to the second part of the orginal question, the part about you being "first" & the notion that you are the most important person in your life. Obviously this is not my original idea. I didn't make it up & I know you have heard it before, but hearing something does not mean learning or internalizing it, so here it is again. Throughout this program we'll be working on internalizing it. You are responsible to yourSelf "first." If you don't respect & care for yourSelf, then you cannot respect & care for others. It's as simple as that. You must lead your own parade. You are the drum major & everyone else follows. It often helps to know that others also have their own parades, where they come first. This is their parade, not Yours. Image this in your thought processes. Everyone has their own life path for their own parade. We are all self-responsible for our own parade & what is magical about this, is that there tends to be less conflict between parade leaders when we live within this image. It's true that life is never without conflict, but when we meet from a position of respect & honor, first for the Self & then from the other, solving issues becomes much easier.

So, just a few other things I want to share with you as we begin this journey. Once again, no one matters here except you. The changes you are going to choose to make belong to you. You own them. You don't need permission to change. Now, that may be a hard idea for you to swallow, but that's only because you've been practicing co-dependency for so long. You've grown up feeling that you are responsible for everyone & for everything. You probably live in a black & white world. Things are either good or bad. You are guilty or innocent & most of the time you are guilty. You probably stuff your emotions or express them in harmful ways, negative food behaviors falling into this category. You may have other ways of expressing your internal stuffed strife. Most of us do. These can include all sorts of things, because over the years we tend to be very creative. We may turn to alcohol, smoking, drugs including prescription, over-the counter & sometimes even illegal substances.

We may have issues with shopping, hoarding, hiding, lying & most likely have a closet full of self-masks for every occasion. We are so skillful that we can pretend to be all sorts of characters, playing out all sorts of emotions, but none of them are really who we are. An unauthentic life can be very frightening, because if you don't know who you are, you may not like your authentic Self & perhaps no one else will like her either. This is pure story-telling & something you will learn to edit down the path.

If you have been behind your "hiding rock" for a long time, the You that comes forward may be quite immature or perhaps You will be wearing an"inauthentic mask" glued together with guilt, shame or excuse glue. But, it really doesn't matter. All that is important is that you have come out & agreed to work with the program. It doesn't matter if you are nervous, annoyed, disheartened, depressed, afraid of failing, feeling a lack interest or anything else. If you have come out & have honestly & wholeheardedly agreed to work with this program, you are already successful. You have already begun to mature.

Here everything is about growing up & accepting the fact that You are separate & self-responsible. You will learn things, you will go forward into the world, sometimes you will succeed & other times you will fall down. You will then get up, learning from your fall & go forward. It's as simple as that. You will come to understand how your disorderly eating issues are connected to your immaturity, your inability to accept being separate & self-responsible. You will learn to love, honor & respect yourSelf as a separate being. Sometimes this will be easy & other times it will be difficult. You will give up your inauthentic masks, along with many aspects of old habits & behaviors, no matter what their age. Some will go easily & others will kick & scream, but they will go.

2010 Copyright May not be reproduced in any fashion without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Clinical Medical & Self-Development Hypnotherapist
Author - Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It

Workbook Day 16 - Smaller Bites!

2010-02-27T11:46:00.000-08:00

The great end of life is not knowledge, but action."......Thomas Henry Huxley

I'm sure you know many people who are always planning to make some kind of change. They are also famous for over-planning projects, often not being able to move to action. Letting go is vital for success. As you learn the art of letting go of you thoughts, emotions and body sensations, you will find yourself letting go of other parts of your life. The more aware you become, the easier it is to let go.

The Inner Coach part of this program was designed to teach the process of awareness, change and letting go in small workable segments. On the surface some of this work may appear child-like, perhaps considered as far too easy to make any appreciable change. But nothing could be farther from the truth. The answers to big dilemmas lie in simplicity. Throughout these daily lessons you are learning a large variety of tools, some meditative, some self-hypnotic, some utilizing other techniques including neuro-linguistic programming, mind management skills and specialized imagery.

Metaphors or images designed specifically for you are obviously much more efficient, as they correspond directly to your present subconscious mind programs. You have already begun to do work in this way in earlier lessons. When you work with a handful of your favorites, you will find yourself making changes well beyond your current conscious dreams. You all tend to live with such limitations. Even for those trained in these processes, the limitations are still there to be reckoned with. The good news is that the mind is filled with gifts. Each time you wake yourself up to any limitation, be it a thought or emotion, you can transform it into a gift. Keep in mind that you will be rewarded with bigger gifts when you indicate willingness to work with bigger limitations.

A tool you are going to introduce today is the tool of silence. Our days are filled with all kinds of noise and vibrations. Some our outside, others inside. As you become aware of noises, whether they be inside or out, you can introduce silence into parts of your day.

I can well remember learning this technique many years ago. Looking into myself, I realized that the first moment I recognized noise was even before I woke in the morning. My mind radio was already turned on, churning out things to do, making judgments, the usual should list and should not list. And right there before my eyes, the infamous "to-do list." With one eye opened, I switched off the alarm, turning on the real radio in some attempt to wipe out the internal radio. During those days I even had a real radio in the shower!
My meditation teacher advised me to notice my thoughts and label them. This simple mind exercise allowed me to let go of them. I sat on the side of the bed in silence for a few minutes just observing my breath. NO RADIO. As I write this, reviewing those moments in my thought bank, I can feel the sense of loss I felt at that moment. NO RADIO......How I missed the distracting noise. The silence was deafening and frightening. Label the arrival of my emotional state..................Now, into the bathroom , mindfully brush my teeth and shower while observing the arrival of thoughts, emotions and body sensations and labeling them. I started to hate the word "labeling." I WANTED MY RADIO. I WANTED TO SHUT OUT THIS SILENCE. My journey had taken a new road and my emotional child self did not want to go!

MIND EXERCISE

This morning exercise is a good place to start. Throughout the years I have limited my morning noise to the water running, the toilet flushing, the coffee perking and small, benign conversations with my husband. NO RADIO, NO TV.. NO ARGUING.

Deepen yourself now and call forth your Inner Coach. Choose a different deepening tool, one that you haven't worked with this week. Ask your Coach for the silence building file. Open it, notice you are the author and begin your review. Everything you need to know is already there. It simply hasn't been brought to consciousness. Remember to take some notes along the way.
Ways to bring silence into my morning and my day. ________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

While you are at this wonderful slow brain wave state, let us go ahead and place a living, emotionalized plant.

• I look for silence.
• I practice finding and experiencing silence.
• I know more than I think I do.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:
Let’s have a look at lunch. Either you have this at home, at work or in a restaurant of some type. Most of us eat around noon or one o'clock. It is important to plan somewhat. If you eat at home or take your lunch to work, it is necessary to have the foods you need available without much hassle. You do not want to add stress to your food needs. While this may sound elemental and even child-like, my experience tells me otherwise. Those of fail to plan.....tend to fail.

Over the years I've found that a good shopping list, as well as an unfussy nature go far in the planning of lunch. Most of us tend to eat the same things week after week and while that is fine, when you change our nutritional food choices for the better, you often get bored more easily than before. For instance, if someone liked pizza and I said o.k., eat pizza everyday, few would have a problem. But taking pizza lover and suggesting that he/she have a large vegetable salad and broiled chicken every day, that person would tend to tire of that quickly, especially if it wasn't a favorite. Keep a good varied choice of foods available, trying to eat things you really like that are acceptable for lunch.

Personally, I have grown fond of brown bagging. I put quite a bit of thought into this process. Throughout the years I have developed some pretty good choices with little work. My biggest challenge is making sure that the needed food is in the house. Making extra stops to the market or thinking about food planning other than one day a week, isn't my idea of high level living.

Your Inner Coach is always willing to come up with some great ideas. Once engaged in the process, you will also start to notice suggestions in magazines, as well as many other ways. For now, ask to see the "new ideas for lunch file" from the subconscious library.
Some new ideas for lunch include _______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

This is a great time to place some colorful and tasty affirmation plants. Be sure to energize them with emotional fertilizer.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I look for new food choices.
• I treat myself well.
• I enjoy creating great lunches for myself.
• I am proud of my achievements.

MINDBODY WORK.....

Today you are going to wake up one of your intelligence factors. You have seven types of intelligence. They include linguistic, visual, physical, musical, intra-personal, inter-personal and logical or mathematical. You are going to work with your physical intelligence through your kinesthetic or feeling sense. The more exercises you do utilizing a variety of intelligence's, the more synapses you will develop in your brain tissue.

MIND EXERCISE:

Go to the alpha state, sitting on the wave of the breath for a minute of so. Close your eyes if you prefer, after reading through the exercise. . Now take your hands and very lightly trace your face. Feel the entire outline, just as if you had never felt your face before. Now, take the tips of your fingers and very gently feel your eye placements, your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your lips and your chin. Go back over the entire surface again, feeling the texture of the skin, noting and labeling at each observation. Imagine the skin covering your face with no structure underneath it, just like a paper parchment bag. Now feel the area in once again and slowly open your eyes. Note any experience.

Take a few moments to record your experience.

Inner observations about my face _______________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Take this moment for inner planting.
• My body sensations are valuable assets.
• I have seven intelligences to explore.
• As I explore my assets my problems diminish.
• I'm in control now.
• I'm having a fresh start.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 15 - Story Telling

2010-02-24T09:13:00.000-08:00

Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while you live.".....Norman Cousins

Join my FB Fan Page for Complimentary mp3 Interactive Self-Hypnosis Programs
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Elizabeth-Bohorquez-RN-CHt-Clinical-Hypnotherapy/291281174682?ref=mf

Few of us know how to live in the present moment. That is one of our goals in doing this work with Your Inner Coach. As you might have noticed following the knee tapping exercise yesterday, you spend quite a bit of time in the past and in the future.

Future thoughts are especially interesting. I have a student who can develop in any moment, the most imaginative future happenings related to her daughter who lives in another state. Many of these happenings are based on fears. It is interesting to note that they bear no resemblance whatsoever to the past happenings. They are pure fiction........and dangerous fiction at that.

One of the things that you must remember about the functioning of the mind is "what you think is what you get." The thought actually becomes the goal. Whatever you are playing in the VCR of the mind, is what the mind sees as the goal. Now, if that doesn't scare you into becoming mindful of your thoughts, I don't know what will!

I explain to my students that the mind is just like a DVD, thoughts are simply disks you play in the machine. What makes these disks a bit different, however, is that the thoughts are all chemically coded. When you play the disks, those chemicals come spewing out into the body with the potential of causing all kinds of havoc, from elevated pulse and blood pressure, to increased stomach acid, irritable bowel syndrome and a variety of other ills. The concentration wanes, putting the creative brain is put to rest. All this can happen without our awareness. By the time you wake up to your body sensations, or realize you are having emotional or concentration problems, it is far too late for the easier techniques. This is why I encourage you to work on training your brain each and every day.

MIND EXERCISE.

Spend a moment going down to your alpha level and then deepen further. Use a different tools this time. When you have arrived call your Inner Coach and ask for the file about old disks you have been playing recently that are not to your benefit. Go ahead and spend a few moments in review. Remember to record.
Recent disks I've been playing that are not to my benefit:

_________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:
Many people have questions about food sensitivities, even wondering if there even is such a thing. In my practice I see many people who appear to be sensitive to certain foods. The reasons behind this is not always clear, but my thinking is if something bothers you, either stay away from it, or see if you can change something which will limit the reaction.

Let me give you a few examples. If you develop flatulence or gastric acidity following milk products, tomatoes, or other acid producers, you might cut them out for awhile, seeing if you feel better. Write this on your daily log,. After a few weeks, put the food back in your eating plan, and notice what happens. If you have a sensitivity, you will certainly know! Some common foods which cause difficulties include dairy, corn products, wheat products, as well as the acid producers like orange juice, grapefruit, tomatoes, etc.
The other day I discussed carbohydrate sensitivity. Often times the reaction to the food is one of over producing insulin and not the food itself. You can learn about this if you pay attention to what you are eating and the body sensations. Also know that the reaction may not occur for a few hours and in some people up to a few days. So when playing detective, remember to look back at the earlier evidence!

Remember that many small changes, lead to powerful outcomes. With this new information in place, think for a moment about another change that will take you further down your path to high level health and performance. Remember to commit to paper.

A nutritional change that I'm adding to my new discipline is:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________

Take yourself to the alpha brain wave state and image this new change on your programming screen AS IF it had already been in place for the past few weeks. Emotionalize it and bring it to action. See it as easy and the outcomes as better than ever expected. This exercise is a combination of interactive self-hypnosis, future pacing both images and expectations.

And now, just a bit of gardening.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my body sensations in relation to the foods I eat.
• I am becoming more and more aware nutritionally.
• This work is changing my life.
• I am ready.

MINDBODY WORK.....

Most people are completely unaware of their thought patterns and rarely do anything constructive with what automatically plays on the mind radio. Remember that all thoughts are seen as goals by the subconscious mind and that thoughts have chemical codes, actively changing the mindbody physiology, some of them radically. You alone have the power to change this process. Since most of it is unconscious, it is most important to train your brain adequately.

MIND EXERCISE:

You have been practicing with past and future "fantasy" thought patterns. Now I would like you to do the exercise again, but this time observing negative and positive thinking patterns. Use the left knee for the negative thoughts and the right knee for the positive thoughts. Sit with your breath wave, expecting nothing, just focusing on your belly breath with great interest, just as if you have never seen it before. When your mind wanders to the thought, label it "thought" and tap the appropriate knee. Go back and climb on your belly breath. Spend 3-5 minutes with this exercise. Try to practice it later in the day as well. Give your brain these new instructions to work with you.

Recognizing your most familiar negative and positive thought patterns will allow you to catch them more frequently. Once caught, you are free to edit and open them for additional insights. Positive thought patterns are also valuable and often need editing as well. You can invite them to visit more frequently, or to connect to certain mind files that would benefit from them. For instance, at work you might like to enhance the thought patterns connected to your sense of humor emotional crayon.

Time to do some recording work now. Make note of some of your most frequent negative and positive thought patterns.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Before you finish up for today go ahead and do some planting. Remember to see all affirmations as positive and active. Attach powerful emotions as fertilizer.

• I stay aware of my thought patterns.
• I notice and label them.
• I am making important changes in small segments.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 14 - Thought Popping

2010-02-20T16:37:00.000-08:00

"For every disciplined effort, there is a multiple reward."............Jim Robn

Back to managing thoughts with Awareness Banking. Why is it that thoughts just pop up in the mind? There are many reasons for this, but the most important consideration is that the mind has not been well trained. It's been left to it's own devices. This concept reminds me of when the teacher leaves the room and the kids take this opportunity to go wild. The same thing happens to the mind. When the teacher returns the disruptions might continue if he or she doesn't have good control over the class.

You can gain control over your thought processes by paying attention to them as an observer. This is very different than being a participant or actor in the thought process. In an early chapter in this book you learned exercises to enhance this skill.

MIND EXERCISE.

Lets practice right now. You don't have to wait for a special time to practice. You can elect to practice in any moment you choose. Remember, you are retraining your brain to do much of this work for you on a subconscious level, so it is important to practice frequently.

Take a moment to go to your alpha state and then go even deeper using a different skill than before. You might like to check back into the earlier chapter and find something you might like to try. This will keep your tools sharp. Once you have deepened, keep your focus on your belly breath. Before long you will find yourself up in a thought. Observe it and mind label it "thought." I'd also like you to notice what kind of thought this is, just as if you were putting them in organizational file folders..

Some examples might include:

• To do thoughts
• Goal thoughts
• Worry thoughts
• Emotionally charged thoughts.

I'd like you to develop your own your own filing system. As you label you thoughts you will literally place them in a file with their category or name. Follow this labeling with another trip back to the breath. Stay with the breath until you are thought-interrupted again, continuing your labeling process and filing away all thoughts.
There is a tremendous benefit to this filing system. The mind is now getting the idea that you do not need this information (thoughts) right now. It will learn to wait for the time when you will request them. Obviously, there are some thoughts you will never request, but there are files you may want to utilize. For example, let's say you have a file for "creative projects." All you would need to do to access this file would be :

• Go to the alpha state
• Request the file "creative projects."
• Open the file and find what you need.
• Ask your Inner Coach to locate even more "creative projects" from your library..

Since you are in your subconscious mind, why not take some time now with your Inner Coach. Ask to be shown the filing cabinets and system. I'm sure you will notice that you could certainly benefit from some inner organization!

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

Just as the mind needs organization, so does the body. How much food do you need? The question could also be how much gas does your car need? The next question might be, "how full is the tank and how far do you need to go? If there is a long time between breakfast and lunch (more than 4 hours), or if you exercise aerobically at a high level, the body will need more fuel. It is important to eat sufficient food for your learn body mass. Look back to your blueprint and review those numbers. They are vital to the functioning of your mind and body.

Your body has built-in mechanisms to teach you. Your hunger levels are one of these mechanisms. Have a look at yours. . Earlier in this book you learned the difference between body hunger and mouth hunger. It's important to review this, because there is much to learn from body sensations. If you are having a lot of mouth hunger, look at your emotional states, as well as your thought processes. Are you building excess insulin from stress? Have you been doing the body scanner and practicing emotional management with Awareness Meditation?

If you have body hunger before 4 hours, look to see if you skipped a meal, ate too little, ate high glycemic foods, had extra sugars or caffeine somewhere in the last 24 hour. Don't just look at the meal before, Look to the last 2-3 meals, even if that means looking to the day before. Remember, you are the mind and body detective. This is how you solve the mystery of your sugar addiction and eating disorder. Those who do the work win!

It's a good idea to start noticing if you feel hungrier when you eat specific foods. For me, one of those foods is corn, especially on the cob. My body must be very sensitive to corn sugar and I probably over-produce insulin in reaction to eating this food. Does this mean that I shouldn't eat it? Only I can decide that. I might try eating a smaller amount and certainly making sure that I have sufficient protein, as well as low carbohydrate foods at that meal. I may even decide not to eat any other high glycemic carbohydrate at the same meal and see how I feel. Looking through the magnifying glass at the way our mindbody works helps us solve our mystery.

This is a good moment to decide on another nutritional change for this week. The more you learn through this Inner Coaching, the more changes you are ready to make. Knowledge clears the path for change. Now you must make the choice and then the action plan.
An exciting nutritional change I will make this week will be: ________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Making changes go right along with planting affirmations. They are like the fertilizer for the change plant.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my body sensations in relation to the foods I eat.
• I am becoming more and more aware nutritionally.

MINDBODY WORK.....

A goal of this work is the development of a focused mind state. There are many reasons why this is such an important goal. When your mind is focused you are awake for the moment at hand. You can see the emotions, the thoughts and notice if you are on goal path or not. With mind flexibility or flow, you can gently move from where you are to where you want to be. There are many exercises to enhance this ability. In this work you will have the opportunity to practice many of these.

MIND EXERCISE.

Lets practice an exercise that will allow you to be even more aware of your thought processes and especially specific thought groupings. Go to the alpha level and ride your breath for a few moments. Keep your focus on the breath. When you find yourself up in the thought process, note whether this is a "past thought" or a "future thought." Place your hands on your knees, and allow them to rest there. Stay on the breath. If a past thought comes into the mind, tap your left knee. Return to the wave of the breath. If a future thought comes to mind, tap the right knee. Return to the wave of the breath. Practice this awareness exercise for five minutes or so. When you are finished, not whether you had more past thoughts or more future thoughts. You do not need to do anything with this information, other than to be aware.

Practice this exercise whenever you have a few minutes. When the brain is trained it will automatically label the thoughts for you. You will become aware early on, when you are lost in the past or future. Your goal is to stay in the present as much as possible. This keeps a handle on stress chemical production and allows you complete flexibility of mind.

Take some time to record this work. The actual process of recording is very valuable as it engages several senses. Also, once a goal or idea is put to paper, it becomes a subconscious planting.
My experience of past and future thought patterns: _______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________

Take an additional moment and place some affirmations just below the alpha level. Notice how you know to do this very easily. You are learning and applying as you learn. These are tools you are applying are those of stress managing and accelerated learning.

• I stay aware and awake.
• I find time to practice my new techniques.
• I am changing in small increment, and they are adding up.
• My small moments build on each other.
• My small moments are valuable in themselves.
• My small moments lead the way to my greatness.
• I am comfortable with my greatness.
• I am a teacher and student in each moment.
• I share my greatness and receive the greatness of others.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 13 - Thoughts & Etchings

2010-02-11T07:37:00.000-08:00

The ancestor of every action is a thought."......Ralph Waldo Emerson

Working with though processes is a major part of our work. The tools for this include both body scanning, awareness and active meditation. You read about these earlier in this book. It is important to work with the tools and to wake up to the fact that they are always available on your tool belt. Living in awareness is like driving a bus. Thoughts and emotions are street signs. They let you know when you are on the right road, as well as when you are not. You will come to learn that being on the right road does not mean that you don't steer the bus and look to avoid potholes. Awareness also helps us to understand that being on the wrong road is not a crime and that there are important lessons to learn including where you made the wrong turn.

For this work you will be utilizing the visual and auditory metaphors of the internal radio station. Right now begin to listen to the chatter in your mind. This has been playing as background music continually. Unless you purposefully turn this radio off, or change the station, it will continue to play. Not even a chance the batteries will wear out!

It is most important that you take time to give the radio a rest, as well as to evaluate the quality of programs you are playing. You will be doing this through awareness and meditative work. Earlier in the book you learned some basic techniques. In your work with the Inner Coach, you will be experiencing some different applications that are built on the basic techniques. This will give you more flexibility as you go through life.

When I began my practice in stress management and optimum mindbody functioning, I found some students balked at the words meditation and self-hypnosis. I started addressing these tools as the "M" work and the "H" word. Even today I find myself having to educate on the benefits of meditation and self-hypnosis. You learned some of these earlier in this book. These wonderful tools help us to direct our body physiology, as well as our emotions and thoughts. Perhaps this is a new experience for you. As you come to work more and more with these tools you will see how they benefit your life in so many ways. They are key to managing sugar addiction and eating disorder, but you will come to find that they are so much more.

As you practice begin to notice you are paying much more attention to our mind and body functioning. Perhaps you are beginning to notice your body sensations at much lower levels than before. This is real progress. The earlier you notice the body sensation, the easier it is to release it and to free your body from the production of stress chemicals. As you begin to notice thoughts and emotions at much lower levels you will become aware of the triggers to the body sensations. A familiar example is saying that someone pushes your buttons. While that can be true, what is important is not only how you push your own buttons, but the level of sensitivity of those buttons. This work will allow you to notice and adjust this sensitivity.

MIND EXERCISE.

For many years I taught nursing students the management of psychiatric patients. They learned to look for the prodromals, those triggers of behavior that preceded the patient's outburst. You can utilize those same ideas for yourself. . As you observe your body sensations, start to work backwards. What emotion has been hanging around you? Now go back even further..........what types of thoughts have been playing on your radio station? Think way back in your day. What were you thinking about upon awakening.? What was the very first thing you noticed on your mind? How about in the shower, or when you were brushing your teeth? How about at breakfast? What type of conversations did you have with family? What about your thoughts in the car, etc.? You get the idea.

You are continually writing happenings in your book of the day. The happenings are colored with emotional crayons. These become memories and connect up with past books and future books. Past books reinforce beliefs about your experiences and future books spell out expectations that are also colored and reinforced. Slow your brain waves now and ask your Inner Coach to bring you the book you are writing about today. Remember, you are the writer/producer/director of all your happenings. Open this book and review the following.
Some thought patterns I experienced today and the emotional crayons I utilized to color them.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

Many people in our country eat a very poor breakfast, some do not eating. stating loud and clear, " I hate breakfast." "I have no time for breakfast." "I am nauseated in the morning." "I'm not even awake." "I find the whole idea revolting." It's not uncommon for sugar addicted people to have a coke and a donut. When I ask these same people what time do they eat first in the day, most will have something after arriving at the office, usually coffee and whatever is available in the kitchen. Certainly there is no nutritional plan in place here and the day is now set up for major sugar addiction issues. But since you are reading this book the assumption is that you are hanging up your old behaviors for healthy change.
The nutritional plan is absolutely necessary for recovery and certainly without it there can be no thought of high level functioning. Your mind and body need this nutrition to function. It also sets the discipline for your internal machinery. Make no mistake, if you do not give your body what it needs throughout the day, it will continue to let you know about it, even to goes far as to interfere with your sleep process! I have had many students who complained of sleep disorders. Once their nutritional intake was corrected sleep was not a problem.

What makes a good breakfast? Please go back to your "blueprint" , reviewing the suggestions made for you. It's also a good idea to look at breakfast creatively. What are some protein foods you enjoy and would consider eating in the AM? Remember, you don't have to wolf this down the minute you wake up! Many people prepare breakfast the evening before, micro-waving it at work.

MIND EXERCISE.

Perhaps you would like the help of your Inner Coach or inner librarian. Go ahead and induce a visit to your alpha state. You know how to get there. Envision your Inner Coach coming forward, chatting along the way with your inner librarian, perhaps about foods you enjoyed as a child or when on vacation. Ask for the book all about creative ideas for breakfast. Notice you are walking through the supermarket and are taking new choices off the shelves, of course reading the labels. Take yourself into that wonderful little restaurant over there. Sit down and read the menu, inwardly knowing that you can prepare these things for yourself. Take some mental notes from this creative book and follow through with some notes below to further etch this important program into your subconscious mind.
Some creative ideas for breakfast include:
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

Since you are planting and etching, go ahead and plant these.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I always eat breakfast.
• I respect the needs of my body and mind.
• I care for my body and mind and they reward me!

MINDBODY WORK.....

Lets go back to your garden. A few days ago you were planting some powerful seeds. You planted your desires, sense of purpose, clear sensory goals, the all important planning and organizing seeds, as well as patience and perseverance. Do a mind check now and notice if you are developing a certain ease and willingness to acquire new learning and skills. Adults learn differently from children and this book is written to meet those needs. I hope you are also developing a positive relationship with your Inner Coach and that you are brining a sense of play and pleasure in relation to your work. Perhaps you might like to draw a little picture of your garden plan and place it where you can admire it during the day.

All gardens need nutrition or fertilizer of some sort, mulch to keep down the weeds, as well as a good supply of light and water. There are certain thoughts and emotions that appear as weeds in your beautiful garden. You want to be on the lookout for these. The weed you are going to look out for today is a cluttered mind, one where the thoughts just keep zooming through, like taxicabs on a busy New York street. Take a moment to stop now and observe the activity of your thought processes.........are they zooming? Don't get in any of these cabs, just observe them.

MIND EXERCISE:

Today I would like you to practice noticing the appearance of this cluttered mind state. Every time you catch it being present, simply notice and follow this noticing by bringing your attention to your belly breath. Ride the breathe for a minute or so. This is a letting go or release application. Know that it only takes 1/200th of a second to pluck these weeds. Once you begin to wake up to them, the brain will start to be re-trained to help you with this work. The focused mind state is a very powerful ally in reaching your ultimate goals and creative thinking.

When visiting your subconscious library, ask your Inner Coach for the book about weeds. Open it and spend some time in this area. Take a moment now and locate some of your common weeds. Remember, the more you notice the better your outcomes. You cannot release what you cannot see or feel. Make some mental notes as well as some written notes to etch these ideas.

Common weeds I'm aware of include: ________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

Take a moment to place some affirmation plants in the areas where you just weeded.

• I can see many weeds in my garden and I know their names.
• I'm becoming an expert gardener.
• I plant affirmations in place of weeds.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers
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Workbook Day 12 - Seeds or Weeds?

2010-02-09T11:52:00.000-08:00

"The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time you repeat the act you strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act".....Orison Swett Marden

Through this work discipline you are beginning to form your personal goal quilt. Every one who reads this book and works with their Inner Coach has different goals. Even if the goals appear similar on the surface, such as sugar addiction or eating disorder management, weight loss, accelerated learning, improved memory and concentration, etc., the goal will take on the shape of the person, just as new shoes take on the shape of the foot as they are worn.

You all love to observe people who are high achievers. This observation helps to break down the walls of impossibility. You think, "If he or she did it, there is hope for me." Sometimes however, you say it consciously, but the subconscious is right there with a negative judgmental jibe, "You'll never succeed. Who do you think you are?!"

You are going to utilize role modeling at a different level of consciousness, a level where the judgment visitor cannot reach. You are going to plant seeds right into the subconscious mind where they will be nurtured, growing into beautiful prize-winning flowers, but first you must go off to the seed store to choose the seeds.

One seed you will be looking for is "a strong sense of purpose." This should sound familiar by now. You saw that seed when you were looking at persistence under the magnifying glass. Next you want a "sensory rich vision." This means that the goal is very clear to all your senses. You can see it, feel it, touch it, smell it and taste it! Image the picture of your goal and enhance the picture with as much emotion you can muster from all departments. This is sensory rich visioning. Another seed on your shopping list is "a strong belief in yourself." Also pick out the seed labeled "ability to plan and organize." Remember that one? Now choose "patience" and "perseverance." Add to the pile the "ease and willingness to acquire new learning and skills," "positive mentors or coaches,", and "a sense of play and pleasure in relation to work."

MIND EXERCISE.

Later today take some time to go deeper down. Go to the area of your Goal-den path, stopping at several of your gardens, planting the seeds you acquired. It's a good idea to write the names of the seeds on an index card. Simply open your eyes at the garden, see yourself planting, watering and fertilizing those seeds. During the day, observe your breath, go directly to the garden, weed if necessary, water and fertilize those seeds.

Take some time now to do this inner work. Check which of your seeds need the most care and make notes of these.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________

And now some great affirmation fertilizer! Emotionalize these and place them in color and high action. While the words may be simple, the outcomes may be very complex.
• I care for my garden.
• I am focused on my seeds of self-discipline.
• I am growing patience and persistence.
• I like gardening in the mind.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS.....

If you have been following your new nutritional guidelines that you designed, you are already noticing both big and small changes. Perhaps you notice how your hunger patterns are changing. Is it easier to get through the morning without looking for a "quick fix?" If you are a smoker, you may be finding less desire to light up. This is not a coincidence. As you get the insulin in balance, you have fewer hypoglycemic dips and therefore you feel less stressed out. Many people smoke when they feel the body sensations that accompany these insulin imbalances, or use cigarettes to quell hunger. Now this is no longer necessary.

You may also find yourself getting more creative with your meal planning. This planning doesn't need to involve great cooking escapades. Of course, if you enjoy cooking, certainly go ahead, but if this is not your forte, you may still be thinking about your meals in new ways. Perhaps you have reintroduced shrimp, lobster, veal, pork or filet mignon into a noon time treat to accompany your fresh watercress or arugula salad. Eating like a king or queen. So many wonderful foods and so easy to prepare.

MIND EXERCISE.

Go to your alpha state and take the deepening ride a bit further down. Mini self-hypnosis journeys release stress and provide the opportunity to program the mind for change right in the moment. Once you have arrived at the level you prefer, ask your Inner Coach to come forward with some suggestions of foods to add to you meals. Perhaps take a mind journey through the supermarket or to some specialty stores in your town. Notice how many foods you haven't eaten in awhile even though you already like them. Place these in the supermarket cart in your mind. You might also etch these finding further by writing some notes to yourself.
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________

You are in a good brain wave place to plant, so please go ahead.

• I'm waking up nutritionally.
• My nutrition forms the basis for my mindbody functioning.
• I function at high levels.
• I enjoy planning my meals.
• I think a lot about myself and my nutrition.
• I'm becoming an expert at meal planning for me.
• My body celebrates my meals with the promise of good health.
• My meals hold deep meaning.
• I communicate with my body through my food choices and I am rewarded.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 11 - Olympic Gold!

2010-02-05T12:06:00.001-08:00

"We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.".......John Dryden

You are developing a very special discipline through this work. Many changes that are already occurring are permanent changes. When you program change from the alpha state, you place new material into your subconscious mind. This is very different than struggling with trying to change on the conscious level. You have been clever by engaging your body through improved nutrition to join in your quest for high level functioning. Your entire mindbody unit is working together towards your own Olympic Gold.

Perhaps you don't like the word "discipline." For many this is a "dirty word" and certainly does not impart fun! Actually discipline can be lots of fun and can make you feel terrific. Self-discipline is a skill that can be learned and converted into a habit. With self-discipline you can accomplish anything you desire. When you are self-disciplined the world is your oyster. The choices are limitless. Close your eyes for a moment, envisioning yourself shopping in the market of life, free to choose whatever you want. This is what self-discipline and the tools you are learning offer you.

As you become more self-disciplined your confidence will increase. This will empower you with determination and inner strength. You will begin to feel a new passion for life and any depression or anxiety will appear to lift, floating away like a dark cloud. Your thinking will sharpen and your abilities to analyze will greatly improve. Your creativity will enhance and fill you with great ideas!

MIND EXERCISE.

Take a moment now to ride your breath to the alpha state. Utilize some deepening exercises from the earlier areas of this book. Notice that your Inner Coach has already requested that your inner librarian bring you the book called "Things I am looking forward to through my development of self-discipline" Open this book noting some of the earlier entries. With your mind pen in hand, continue to author this book. Make notes of areas you would like to improve and explore. Remember, self-discipline offers you anything and everything in the market of the world.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS.....

To snack or not to snack......that is the question. A CEO asked me the other day, "Well, if I'm not going to snack on cookies, what should I snack on?" This question sheds light on a false belief, one that states "you all need to snack." I went on to explain the necessity of three balanced meals per day, having a look at his aerobic activity pattern (he did grin at this), as well as his hunger patterns, and whether the hunger is mind or body. I also wanted to know if his schedule required a small fourth meal or snack.

I am a recovered "grazer." It was not until I became involved in nutritional research about twelve years ago, that I even considered the possibility of eating three balanced meals. I also had no idea that I could manage my hunger and cravings in this way. To be honest, I didn't believe it. It only took me one week to realize how wrong I was. In the way my day is organized, I do not need to snack when I follow my eating self-disciplined program. I never miss breakfast and plan my intake around my schedule. If I am to have a late lunch, I make certain that I eat a bit more in the a.m. I do the same if I plan to have a late dinner. Sometimes I will bring a snack to work if I know I will not be eating until really late. This is a good example of organized planning for good sound nutrition.

MIND EXERCISE.

How about looking for another small change to do for yourself today? Which one feels right for now? Remember to state it as if it already occurred.
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________

Take time to plant some affirmations. Notice your emotions are sitting and reading all about your successes.

• I'm waking up nutritionally.
• My nutrition forms the basis for my mindbody functioning.
• New ideas for changes find me and plant themselves.

MINDBODY WORK.....

Today's work is with interactive self-hypnotic. You learned about this tool earlier in this book. Here you will be working with additional applications. You already know that self-hypnosis is the process of slowing of the brain waves and placing suggestions in the subconscious mind with special imagery called metaphors. You have lots of choices when working with self-hypnosis. You can choose your induction technique, as well as how deeply you will go into trance. You might like to go back and review some of these in the earlier sections of the book. A great image to utilize for deepening is counting backwards. You can also add an image of a spiral staircase to this counting and focus on the toe of your shoe going deeper down. Sometimes when deepening, the body sends up a communication such as a part jumping or twitching. Remember that this is only the release of stored stress and nothing to be concerned about. Actually, as it releases you will go even deeper down.

MIND EXERCISE.

It is not necessary to go to go very deep in order to practice hypnosis. The most powerful work for change is accomplished right below the alpha level in an area called theta. After you finish reading your work for today, plan a time to practice going deeper down. If you find yourself deeper than you like, simply climb back up the same way you went down! When you arrive at a level you like, look up and see how far down you are. This cements this level in your mind and body. Take some time to walk around the area where you stopped, noticing how beautiful it is. Perhaps you might like to use the image of the Goal-den path and your goal gardens. Notice the colors, stop and smell the flowers. Feel how soft are the pedals. Notice how far the gardens go to the right and left and how they are divided into sections including mindbody health, work, play, relationships, prosperity, spiritual to name a few.

Deepening practice is a good time to sneak in some affirmation planting.

• I am learning new tools and they benefit my self-development.
• I go deeper and open my stress areas with ease.
• I'm in control of my mind and body.
• I strengthen myself with self-hypnotic trance work.
• I manage my addictions and eating disorders with self-hypnotic trance work.
• Uncovering stress areas are beneficial to my self-growth
• Every moment is filled with value, waiting for me to claim it.
• I move past fear and other emotions easily.

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 10 - Parade Route!

2010-02-02T08:35:00.001-08:00

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.".....Harry Emerson Fosdick

"I don't have time to do all of this work!"

If I had a quarter for everyone who told me that they don't have enough time, I would be rich! You have been discussing the need for organized planning and this is where one of the secrets of time management will be revealed. As I told one group I was speaking to yesterday, "since you are already breathing anyway, why not breathe to your advantage?"

The work you are doing together actually changes the body physiology, allowing us to concentrate at much deeper levels. You are also retraining the brain through the body scanner, now adding in emotional and thought management. These techniques are also known as focusing tools. As your concentration, focus and mind flexibility improve, you will see that you can accomplish much more in less time.

So while it appears that you are adding more things to your "to do list", what you are actually doing is training your brain to work more efficiently and effectively for you. For many, the brain is like an employee who is not working up to potential. Some brains are actually quite lazy............but now, thanks to improved awareness exercises, the body scanner, and beginning work with active meditation, you are on your way to true time management and optimum functioning.

MIND EXERCISE.

Nothing happens by itself. The fact that you are reading this work will not bring change. You must think, apply and act. If any of those steps are missing, you will continue to rest by the side of the road while others pass you by. The things you have to do to succeed are not difficult, but they must be done consistently and with persistence. It helps to have reminders for practice. Spend a moment of internal quietness and ask your Inner Coach for some suggestions to remind you to practice your new work. Sometimes the Coach will answer directly and other times a bit later or in a dream state, but you will always receive an answer. Be sure to write down the messages to further etch them into your subconscious mind programming.

Since you are in contact with your Inner Coach, take this opportunity to plant some affirmations. Each and every time you do so you are stimulating the neuronal growth of the brain.

• I am aware of my frequent visitors who interfere with my persisting.
• As I recognize them and smile, they move away.
• I am a winner.
• This is easy for me.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS.....

Recently I did a "brown bag lunch" presentation for a very high profile technological company. I was very curious as to the type of lunch prominent "high tech" people consumed. Needless to say, I was shocked. Out of the thirty people, only one had anything near good nutrition and even she chased the good food down with a diet soda. In fact the company provided soda and sweetened drinks for everyone!

It is important to follow your new food plan. You can eat everything you like everyday, but it is very important to keep your balance based on your family and personal medical history and exercise level. I am well aware of the perceived difficulties in making these changes, but as you begin to feel less fatigued, more concentrated and focused, these become their own motivators. I remember when I started my own personal nutritional changes about twelve years ago. I was looking to manage my sugar addiction and to lose weight. When I noticed the tremendous difference in the way I felt physically, emotionally and mentally, I remember saying that I would trade any weight loss to just keep this feeling of wellness. Of course I did lose the weight, and also got to keep the feelings!

MIND EXERCISE.

How about looking for another small change for today? Which one feels right for now? Notice that you are considering changes that you never would have considered last week. Your body physiology is changing and your confidence levels are rising. You have already changed many things and so you no longer feel frightened or overwhelmed. You also know to experience "choice." You don't have to do everything at once. This is a form of release and freedom.

Make some notes of things you might like to change now or even in a few days in relation to your nutritional work.

Take this quieting moment to plant affirmations. They may open additional areas for change possibilities. Don't forget to emotionalize and set them into action..

• I notice all of my meals.
• I congratulate myself for a job well done.
• I can shop for food and keep in control.
• It is easy to pass up foods that don't add to my long and short-term goals!

MINDBODY WORK.....

Earlier in this book you learned about the practice of Awareness Meditation and how your thoughts connect to your emotional states and how your body sensations respond to these interactions. The practice of body scanning allows you to notice body sensations and to open them, thus changing the body physiology. Now you can apply the opening to emotions, as well as thoughts. Opening emotional states allows for release, or partial release and the changing of body sensations. Through the opening you will be able to ask for further insights and information from your Inner Coach and subconscious librarian. Emotions tend to tighten the muscles and cause stress chemicals to be produced at higher levels. Opening emotions releases stress. As you practice catching thoughts as they roam the corridors of the mind, you can spot the emotions that are responsible for them.

Awareness Meditation Banking helps us to notice the mind talk of our emotions. You call these thoughts. I'd like you to really tune in to this inner radio station during quiet moments. Notice how it plays constantly. Remember that these are not just random thoughts, but true subconscious mind programs. These are goal programs, even if you don't want them. This is why it is so important to learn to catch and release them. As you listen, write down the emotion that is speaking to you at that time. As you learn to become more familiar with these visitors and their chatter, you can begin to make some choices, one of which will be to turn the volume down at will!

MIND EXERCISE.

Meditation Banking plays a big part in organized planning. It allows for clearing the mind and opening the door to the subconscious mind. It gives us the opportunity to place information in and to request inner assistance. Just as in body scanning and awareness breathing, it is important to actively practice these skills. Go to your alpha brain wave state and relax deeply. Allow inner joy to enter along with deep relaxation. Celebrate the fact that you have tools that are life changers. You no longer have to window shop in the world. You can enter your mind and access your goals with organized planning. Allow your powerful positive emotional crayons to color this new knowledge and become the motivators for daily practice.
When working with powerful positive emotional crayons be sure to plant hot affirmations.

• I practice Awareness Banking daily.
• I am open to new ideas and the ideas open even further.
• I am freeing myself from all addictions and eating disorders.
• I am free to be the me I want to be.
• I am free to grow and achieve.
• My life is my own.

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 9 - Enemy Camp!

2010-01-30T16:22:00.001-08:00

"The reward of a thing well done is to have it done." Author unknown

When you started the development of your personalized blueprint the need for a good honest self-evaluation was presented to you. You want to get underneath that magnifying glass . The more willingness you have to see yourself, the easier it becomes to persist and achieve. For many of us this is difficult, especially if you have a history of being harshly judged by others, especially our parents.

Some of us have spent our lives harshly judging ourselves as well. I want to suggest to you that these "magnifying glass exercises" are not judgmental, but just informational. If you promise yourself compassion and self-love as you look through the magnifying glass you will find it easier to be brave. You need to be able to see to be able to change. Then you can develop organized plans to move forward.

MIND EXERCISE.

Today I am going to suggest that you look for some of the big enemies that keep you, as well as all of us from succeeding in reaching goals. Go right ahead to your breath and ride the waves for a minute of so. Now, stand before the mirror in your mind and see if any of these difficulties are hanging around you:

• Failure to see clearly what it is you really want
• Lack of interest or desire
• Alibi making or passing the buck
• Procrastination usually seen visiting with alibi making
• Indifference or being ready to compromise frequently rather than meet the opposition and
wage war if necessary
• Willingness to quit at the first roadblock
• Lack of organized written plans
• Habitually being indecisive
• Looking for short cuts
• Fear of being criticized.

Go ahead and make some notes for yourself for subconscious mind etching.
Some visitors I saw in my mirror and some of the things they told me were: ___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

Let's go ahead now and plant some powerful imagery-driven affirmations. Great colors this time.

• I am aware of my frequent visitors who interfere with my persisting.
• As I recognize them and smile, they move away. I am a winner.
• This is easy for me.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS.....

Earlier in this book, when you were reviewing your personal and family medical history, I explained the necessity of cutting back on high-glycemic foods, as well as the frequency of eating or drinking them. It is important to keep a running list of them in our mind computer. If you learn to label when you notice them, you can become more aware of how pervasive they are in our society. Next time when you go to the supermarket practice finding and labeling high glycemic food choices. You may be shocked at how many you find. Also label the lower glycemic foods.

A good exercise when driving is to spot the high glycemic eating places. Remind your brain that these are not good choices for you. As you do this on an ongoing basis, should you have a keen desire to stop there, or purchase those foods, your mind will be ready to help keep you on course. For a review of high glycemics, go back to the nutritional areas of this book information . It helps to review these things from time to time, especially during the process of reframing our nutritional experiences in the brain storage.

MIND EXERCISE.

The work of the past few days has triggered some new changes for you. All you need to do to collect them is to enter the alpha brain wave state, deepen somewhat, tilt your eyes up and collect your subconscious mind email.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my food and drink intake.
• I enjoy keeping my food logs.
• My awareness is expanding....
• I can stop high glycemic foods easily.
• I eat these in a balanced meal only, cutting back on the amounts.

MINDBODY WORK.....

Today you will begin our work on the management of thoughts and emotions. Let's review the emotions by family groups. Earlier you learned how to disassociate by always looking for the emotions OUTSIDE of yourself. You are familiar with the imagery of emotions being children with tee shirts stating their names. You all have lots of emotions, but most of them live and hang out in family groups. The more emotions you can spot, the better you can manage them. You cannot manage an emotion if you are not aware of it. First comes awareness, then choice and then control.

All emotions speak, just like children. You can hear them in your thoughts. When you catch them early enough, you can deflate them and then educate them towards your goals.. If you do not notice their arrival, not only will they continue to hang out with you, but they will become more powerful. This would be great if they are helpful, but many are not. They tend to call in their counterparts to join the party and sometimes the party is not a good one for our goal outcomes, nor for our health.

The family you are going to recognize today is the ANGER FAMILY. Some members include fury, outrage, resentment, wrath, exasperation, annoyance, irritability, hostility, hatred and even violence. There are other members but these are the most popular. I would like you to go back over the emotional crayon list again and highlight your most frequent visitors in the anger family. Find lower anger emotions and start to be aware when they come hanging around. All you really want is to be aware of their arrival.

MIND EXERCISE.

Your Inner Coach is willing to help you notice members of your anger family. Relax deeply now and tilt your eyes up. You can feel the arrival of your Coach. Ask inwardly to be advised when one of these emotional children are present or about to arrive. When you notice a visitor call him or her by name and ask what is needed. Be accepting and gentle. This may sound a bit strange, but when you learn to work with emotions in this non-judgmental way, you will be more successful in having them move on. You can also gain information from them. Listen carefully after you ask the question, "What do you need?"

Notice that the emotions can be helpful in planting affirmations.
• I recognize my emotional visitors.
• It is getting easier for me to notice them.
• I am learning from these visits.
• I am growing in new ways.

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 8 - Skinned Knees

2010-01-29T08:09:00.000-08:00

"All things are difficult before they are easy.".........John Morley

The idea, thought, group of thoughts or the "old story" that things are too hard, too complicated, too painful, etc., etc. can keep you locked up, just as if you were in a prison without a key in sight. And so, let me give you the Key in the form of an idea. Perhaps you've known this before and of course, you have known this, but this time you will act on it in new ways, for that is the purpose of your reading my work.

It is important to develop a strong belief in your ability to carry out the plan towards your goal. Sometimes you are not even aware that you don't have this belief, so let's go ahead and do some inner checking.

Focus on your breath for a minute and gently allow the following question to arise. "Can I achieve this goal?" The answer will come before the question is even completely out of your mouth...the mind works very fast! If you get a resounding "YES" just smile knowingly. If, however, you get a weak little "yes maybe" or a resounding "NO", you have some additional work to do. These answers were returned to you from your subconscious mind based on past experiences and beliefs. This does not mean that they are correct, nor does it mean that these beliefs cannot be changed. These needs will form some of your focus work for today.

It is important to start growing some plans for persisting and final goal expectation.. Your inner plans should be organized from start to finish. Don't worry if they appear weak or impractical in the beginning, because as you become involved in the unfolding of the goal, the plans will become stronger and more perfected. Plan to spend some time each day perfecting your organized plans. As you do this exercise, your willpower will increase, as will your ability to persist. If you notice difficulties in evolving a plan of action, have another look at the goal, making certain you really desire it and that there is some definite purpose for the work you are proposing.

The act of organized planning leads to the development of habit and persistence is the direct result of habit. Your mind will become absorbed by the daily experiences on which it feeds, and since these are directly related to your goal achievement, you will continue to move closer and closer. On occasion you will hit a stumbling block....just notice it and step right over it. Some blocks are small and some are much bigger....it really doesn't matter to the person in pursuit of the goal. Stumbling blocks are a signal to move past or over. If you notice the arrival of the emotion called "fear", just label it and refocus on your breath and your goal. You will certainly be doing more work with emotional visitors in days to come.

MIND EXERCISE.

Take time to enter your alpha brain wave state and go deeper down than before. You learned many deepening exercises earlier in the book and it's always a good idea to review them and to keep them active in practice. After you read this exercise, close your eyes and begin the work. Enter your inner or subconscious library and notice that your Inner Coach is standing next to the subconscious librarian fingering some of your organized goal plans. Go ahead over and pick up the plans. Notice that your goal areas are written on the top of each plan. Begin to review them one by one. After reviewing each one, open your eyes and make some notes of important findings.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Notice that affirmations have already organized themselves on the inner screen of your mind. This time they brought their own action images, some even with sound.

• I work on my organized planning daily.
• I review my plans and they are clear to me.
• Details of my plans magically appear on my mind screen.
• My plans are alive and speak volumes to me.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS.....

Go back to the beginning of your food logs and notice that your Inner Coach has indicated areas that need some change. Some changes are very small. It's easy for you to see these now. . Have you made these changes yet? If you haven't I would like you to choose just one change to make today. Perhaps you will choose the easiest one for you, or maybe you will choose the most difficult one. Whichever is fine. Often times you balk at change because it seems overwhelming. I want you to spend a few moments with your breathing at the alpha level and then see a picture of yourself with the change already made. See how happy and pleased you look. It really was quite easy.

MIND EXERCISE.

The opportunities to change something nutritionally are all around you. Every day you should attempt to get a bit better at managing our nutrition. Perhaps you could make a list of all the things you didn't eat or drink that interfered in the past with your optimum functioning. Even something as small as only having one cup of coffee instead of two or three, is a step in the right direction. Long term success is made up of many small achievements day after day.

Notice your Inner Coach has become more active and whispers in your ear. Sometimes it is about things to do or change, but other times it is about celebrating things you have changed. Take some time now to note some messages you have received: ___________
____________________________________________________________________

The Inner Coach is placing affirmations for you today and notice they are in color with powerful images that delight you.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my food and drink intake.
• I enjoy keeping my food logs.
• My awareness is expanding......

MINDWORK.....

It would be a good idea to relax deeply before reading this work. A light alpha state would be great and allow the images to truly etch in your subconscious mind. Read this as if I were writing you a letter about things I've noticed about you.

Yesterday you worked with the goal pictures encircled with white. Today I want you to place a picture of yourself with your new belief in that circle of white. See yourself achieving your goal and especially notice how easy it was to do this. You might even see and hear yourself repeating, "This is so easy. I had no idea this would be so easy."

You might see yourself organizing your plans to achieve your goal. Notice how relaxed you are and how you are so focused in your intent to organize the plans. The plans come easy to you. The pictures are clear and you may even see the list of plans in the white circle. Maybe you can't read them from where you are sitting, so just reach forward and take the organized plan list in your hand and place it on your lap.

When you are finished with this exercise, pick up the list and read it. Do this exercise even if you have a strong belief about your ability to carry out the organized plans to reach your goals. You can all use all the determination you can muster. This is a great opportunity to build strength in this self-development department.

As you see your belief in the white circle, what stands out? ________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

I've added these affirmation plants in my letter to you. They play out like little television programs. Remember to allow your subconscious mind to fill in the details.

• My beliefs are clear.
• I can see my plans developing.
• I enjoy doing this work for myself.

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 7 - Hammer & Nails

2010-01-23T08:38:00.001-08:00

"Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.".......Demsthenes

Yesterday you started to approach the powerful mind states of persistence and consistency. Most of us would certainly welcome these mind states, but few of us have any idea how to do so. On the surface whatever doing might be necessary seems far too big to tackle and so most simply put the general equation aside. You are not going to do that.

This work begins in the same way as your other tools. This is not a complicated process, but one that takes diligence. You will become aware of the little moments when you can effect a change of some sort. You might remember your earlier subconscious mind change work when I asked you to notice small changes that you had made and told you of their importance. Here they are again.

There are many opportunities to build persistence and consistency. These opportunities are in the moments, but before anything can change, you must be aware and then you can acknowledge the power state of choice. What you are learning here could be called the anatomy and physiology of change. Just as your body has an anatomy and a physiology, so do many things and change is one of those things. As you begin to look into change and into the moments, you will become a creative thinker and one who runs the race to perfection.

MIND EXERCISE.

Take a moment to prepare yourself for inner work. Always be certain you will not be disturbed and have your journal handy. Remember that writing ideas that may float up will etch them further into both your conscious and subconscious mind. Once you are ready continue to read along.

Some people have trouble with persisting, because they don't have sufficient desire. If you find yourself weak in the persistence department, look with your trusty magnifying glass at what it is you are having difficulty with and then ask yourself,

• "Do I really desire this?"
• "How much to I desire this?"
• "Do all parts of me really desire this?"
• "Can I feel the desire in my gut?"

Many times you think you want something, when the reality is that you don't really care that much. Once you know that you really want whatever it is, you can utilize organized planning and the power of visualization and suggestion to motivate ourselves, even through tremendous difficulties. More about this later.
Look into your mind memory bank and retrieve instances when you truly desired something, those times when NO ONE could possibly stop you. While you are looking, be sure to notice the "little desires." They can be utilized to fire other desires. Make notes of those now:___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

This is a powerful time to add some affirmation plants. Notice if any emotional visitor arrives telling you not to stop to do this, perhaps telling you that you can do this later, or it is better to read ahead and then come back. Keep an eye out for these emotional states. They are usually related to procrastination and immediate gratification. You want to learn to catch and diminish these. Go ahead now and tilt up your eyes locating your inner movie screen.

• I recognize persistence and congratulate myself on practicing this skill.
• I am aware of many times when I persisted.
• I review my memory bank and applaud my pictures of consistency and persistence.
• I recognize desire.
• I can feel desire in my mind/body whenever I choose to!

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

Earlier in the book you learned about keeping food logs. I would like you to review your food logs every day. At that time go back and look at previous ones. Can you begin to see changes emerging?
In the beginning many of you thought you could never make changes. You were actually prisoners of your food choices and could not imagine that you could change. As you began to follow your personalized food plans and incorporated small daily changes, everything started to fall into place. Perhaps if you were having difficulty getting to sleep, or sleeping through the night, you have noticed a change in the quality of sleep, maybe even your dream quality. In the near future I will show you how to utilize your dream states to access information, as well as to place information aimed at your personalized goals.

MIND EXERCISE.

While you have gone back and noticed your changes in the food logs, it would be helpful to etch these further into your subconscious mind programs. Go ahead and make notes about what you found in the food logs. _____________________________
____________________________________________________________________

You have learned to view your emotions as children wearing tee shirts. You know that some work in your behalf and others get in the way of goals. Enter your alpha state and notice that all of your emotions are sitting down and understanding the importance of your daily work. The emotions will pick up tools and help to plant the following affirmations. Notice that the unhelpful emotions are helping as well as they learn to change towards the goals.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my food and drink intake.
• I enjoy keeping my food logs.
• My awareness is expanding....

MINDBODY WORK.....

Today you are going to explore some mind expansion techniques that will help you to develop persistence. This is a deep exercise so wait for a quiet time. In the future, once your mind is trained, you will be able to do exercises such as this anywhere even while in the process of talking. However, while you are learning and reprogramming your mind bank, it is a good idea to do this quietly.

MIND EXERCISE.

Focus on your breath and work with your fingertips on your lower abdomen. Allow the breath to become regular and rhythmic. Once your breath is in place allow your movie screen to position itself behind your closed eyes. Place the rhythm of your breath at the bottom of the screen, like peaceful waves. Above the waves place your desired goal picture. Make it full colored and see the goal as completed. Encircle the goal picture in white. Go into your mind bank , taking out one of the desire memories you found earlier on and remove the feelings of desire from that memory. While focusing on the circled desire, infuse it with the feelings you have just removed. Really feel it, as you continue to focus on the circle of desire. Say to yourself, or out loud, "This is what I want, or this is what I need." Practice this exercise with this goal desire frequently. You will soon begin to notice your ability to persist has greatly improved.

It's a good idea to work with one desire at a time. Once you become more proficient at this exercise, you will be able to work with additional goals. The mind works best when the goal is very clear and concise. That is one reason why you circle it in white. This white circle is saying to our brain, "Pay strict attention to this as it is very important.,"

Take this moment a bit further and plant the following affirmations, or ones that choose to arise in your own mind at this time.

• I see my desires clearly.
• I work with my desires frequently.
• I practice infusing my desires throughout the day.
• I can feel my ability to persist improving.
• I'm on my way!

NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 6 - Ostrich Syndrome

2010-01-21T07:21:00.001-08:00

"Many receive advice. Only the wise profit from it."....Syrus

Walk into any bookstore and you know there is no shortage of books, magazines, tapes, etc. written for the express purpose of helping us to make lifestyle changes. It is important to read and learn. It is also important to apply what you have read and learned into your action steps.

Why do so many people hang on to unhealthy lifestyles? Is it difficult to make a lifestyle change? Indeed not, but most people have not developed goal setting and planning into their life work. They have failed to develop and apply self-discipline, persistence and perseverance in their life skills. They stay in procrastination, head in the sand, even though their life is on a dangerous course. The belief is, "If I can't see it, it can't see me." Dangerous belief!

This morning I was working with a woman who had a very obvious co-dependent relationship with her daughter. I asked her if she had ever read any material on this subject, especially on rescuing and enabling? "Oh, I have a library full of books of those subjects!" I asked her about her "action plan" and she looked at me completely mystified. Despite all that reading, she had not put one idea into an action plan in helping her in this most important relationship which was key in managing her high levels of stress and distress.

MIND EXERCISE.

Take some time with this and make certain you have your journal handy. Travel to alpha and relax deeply in the chair before you read the rest of this paragraph. OK....ready....

• In what areas of your life do you need to develop an action plan?
• In what areas do you need to practice persistence and perseverance?
• In what areas are you looking for a quick fix?

And now look your inner library and find those entries of when you were self-disciplined, persisted and persevered through obstacles. Make some notes about these areas of interest
This is a very important area to plant some living affirmations. Be sure to bring in some powerful emotional crayons and color them deeply.

• I recognize persistence and congratulate myself on practicing this skill.
• I am aware of many times when I persisted.
• I review my memory bank and applaud my pictures of persistence and perseverance.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

Few people take the time to notice their daily food intake. All of my students, whether they are looking to manage sugar addiction, eating disorder, lose weight, gain weight, or are looking for optimum mind/body functioning are keenly aware of their food intakes, as well as their hunger types and corresponding emotional states. This is not a lot of work for those who are looking to function at a high level. Not one of them can afford to ignore this most vital information. that moves them ahead of the pack. If you want to be successful at anything, you must do success-orientated steps over and over. You might notice yourself passing those who tired out on the way. Many people talk but few follow through. Ask yourself now which you will be?

My students are well aware of even minute changes in their body sensations, energy levels, hunger states and emotional states. The first order of business after noticing these changes is to review their last few meals and snacks. They also keep an eye on water consumption and any other drinks or substances that have been ingested. Some of these might include chewing gum, breath mints, diet beverages, and including those with sugar, artificial sweeteners, or caffeine. Keep in mind that food and drink are chemicals and experienced by the body as such. For those with a family or personal history of reactive hypoglycemia or the Profactors for hyperinsulinemia, even the frequenting of breath mints can be enough to interfere with the functioning of the mind and body.

There is a very strong correlation between stress reaction and food intake. Feelings of reactive hypoglycemia are very much the same as "feeling stressed" or "feeling anxious or fearful." Remember to keep your food logs, especially for a few weeks until your awareness kicks in. You tend to operate on high auto-pilot with food and drink intake. It often takes people at least a few weeks to start waking up to this important issue.

MIND EXERCISE.

Return to the library of the mind and find your book. You already know the routine and the book I'm talking about. But this time I want you to open the area that will point out to you the small things you do that keep you sitting on the side of the road while other's pass you by. These are the things, however small, that act out in big ways and keep you from reaching your goals and recovery. There are probably many of them, so do request the book that has all of them.

Writing helps to seal the commitment to change. Go ahead now and make some notes about things you need to change that will help you to be a winner instead of a side the road sitter:
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Notice there are affirmations on the table for you. These are connected to winning, so go ahead and begin your planting.
• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my food and drink intake.
• I enjoy keeping my food logs.
• My awareness is expanding....

MINDBODY WORK.....

It is absolutely vital to continue working with breath awareness. I was working with a student this morning who told me that she didn't have time to do all this work. Actually she was quite angry with the process. Remember my opening words today on persistence and perseverance. Well, she certainly needs work in this area. The truth of the matter is that it doesn't really take all that much time and even if it did, I want you to ask yourself who is more important than you and your goals?

Awareness of the breath and rhythmic breathing are part of our moment to moment life. Keep a reminder on your desk, in your car, etc. which will trigger your relaxed rhythmic breathing. You are breathing anyway, so why not do it in a fashion that benefits the functioning of your mind and certainly your body?

MIND EXERCISE.

As you continue to work with body scanner practice, notice that your ability to concentrate on your work has improved. Your brain noise seems to be lessening. If you look at your thought processes like cabs passing you on the street, you might say that the traffic is a bit more manageable. This is the body scanner in action.
This particular exercise teaches the brain to function, with flow and flexibility. After awhile you will notice how easy it is to move from one task to another and immediately be able to focus very deeply. This is flexibility in action and your gift from body scanning and awareness breathing. . It is one of the most vital skills for developing a fully functioning brain process. If you are looking to improve your focus, creativity, goal setting, accelerate your learning, or just release stress, you are on your way.

Those who pass the side of the road sitters find new places to practice these tools. They know the value and smile inwardly as they pass those who don't get it. Take a moment now to meet up with your Inner Coach and ask to be directed towards additional places for you to practice. There are plenty of moments during the day for this if you just stay in awareness and desire to be a winner. As your Inner Coach helps you out with this winning strategy, make some notes to further etch the programs into your subconscious mind___________________________________________________________________

Take an additional self-development moment and plant these images.

• I enjoy my breathing exercises.
• I practice rhythmic breathing ongoing throughout the day.
• I remember to breathe from my alpha level.
• I breathe at my desk.
• I breathe in my car.
• I am aware of my breath.
• I am developing persistence and perseverance.
• I recognize their presence, and I welcome them !

NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 5 - MindOPENING!

2010-01-18T07:34:00.000-08:00

Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today,
because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow.".......James Michener

There certainly are sufficient book, articles, CD's, plans, etc. showing us how to manage our lifestyle changes. Many of us have quite a collection of these sitting on our shelves. I know people who listen to programs all day long in the car, week after week, month after month and year after year. New Year's Resolutions are made, often automatically because they are the same year after year. One of the goals of this program and reinforced by the desires of your Inner Coach is to move dreams into end goal pictures. Goals that are achieved!

Here you are going to move through procrastination, while developing persistence, patience with ourselves and other and yes, patience with our goals. Sometimes in our desire to hurry up, you miss the all important communication with the subconscious mind librarian who is holding the goal. Goals are alive and have tremendous insight into what is needed, but also how to make them even better than consciously imagined.
While your goal in this program is to manage sugar addiction and eating disorders, the goals hold more ideas for recovery and moving forward than you know in your own thought processes. Our conscious mind is small compared to the vast subconscious mind. Your addiction is a key to emotional management and even high realms of creativity. As you work daily, spoon feeding your mind suggestions and allowing the mind to open and respond, you will be gifted with breakthrough thinking and Eureka's!

Many of us are completely out of touch with ourselves and our goals. You think you know what you want, but are hard pressed to describe it in any end-goal state. The subconscious mind needs more than this. It needs accurate description of what you want and prefers goals to be colored with high powered emotional crayons.

Today you are going to focus on goal setting and the act of moving forward. As basic as this may sounds, you must decide what you want and get very specific. Do take the time to do all of these exercises. I suggest to my students that they schedule 5 hours in the near future to work in these directions. This is not a lot of time when you come to realize that you are planning your road map for our future. Many people have taken a day off work to design the first stages of their plan.

MIND EXERCISE.

I suggest that you always enter your alpha brain wave state for all Inner Coach work. This will allow you to move out of conscious judgment and into the realm of creative thought.
Your first exercise is called "limitless wishing." Take a clean sheet of paper for each category of goals. My categories include:

• Mind and Body
• Relationship with Self
• Relationship with Significant Other
• Relationships with Others
• Work
• Prosperity
• Home
• Spirituality
• Future

You may add any categories that are important to you. Making certain you will not be disturbed, place one of these pages before you. Read through this exercise first, imaging yourself doing this before actually doing it. You might want to read this into a recorder if you are not working with my audio programs.

Close your eyes, placing your finger tips on your lower abdomen and allow your breath to be present. Ride the wave of the breath for a minute or so. Observe a man coming down the road dressed in long flowing gown. Of course if you prefer to have a woman image, that is perfectly fine. Notice some specifics the person. Here I will work with a male image. He has a white beard and a friendly gaze. He is holding something in his hands and as he gets closer you notice it is an old brass lamp. He offers it to you and reminds you to use it wisely.

Take it in your hands and feel the cool, smooth brass. Admire it. Find a place to sit down, continuing to ride your breath. Now, rub the lamp gently and as you do ask for your goals in the category before you to become clear. Put the lamp down, open your eyes and start to write a list of what you desire. Do not worry about sentences or form of any type. Do not judge any of your goals. Even if they are totally unrealistic, continue to write. If nothing comes return to your breath and image yourself writing. Open your eyes and put pen to paper. When you have finished, continue to ride your breath, seeing if one or two more goals appear.
Now, take another category, ride your breathe for a few minutes, pick up the lamp, rub it and ask for answers to this group. Once you complete this list, go on to the next until you have finished. At this point it is good just to sit quietly riding the breath and thanking the lamp for it's help.

Go back to the first list, reading it through. Find the three goals that appeal most to you and highlight those. Do the same with each sheet. When you have finished this part of the exercise, take another piece of paper beginning with your first highlighted goal just as if it were a living photograph that you were describing to a close friend. Describe it in some detail. Exactly what does it look like. How would it feel to have this goal. Try to be as specific as possible. Do this for each highlighted goal.

Now it is time to allow this information to percolate in the subconscious mind percolation system. Put your papers away for another time.

While the papers are away, there is still some mind work to do. Look inwards and locate some insights that you learned about yourself from this limitless wishing exercise. If nothing is forthcoming, ask the subconscious librarian to show these to you. Some free thoughts may float up now, or they may appear later, but they will come.
Self-goal insights: ___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

It's always a good idea to plant affirmations following these experiences. The subconscious books are already on the table and so here are a few for you to utilize. Be sure to emotionalize them and set them in action.

• I enjoy goal setting.
• I focus well on what I would like to achieve.
• My goals come easily to me.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

The more frequently you review this material, the easier it becomes to make changes. You will begin to notice that you are making some changes even without trying. It appears to be easier to change. Why is this?
Your subconscious mind has recorded all suggestions and is now busy helping you in ways that are outside consciousness. You will begin noticing that you are aware of many more things about your eating than before. You know that you do not have to measure your food. No one walks through life carrying a scale. It is important however to eyeball your intake and read your body sensations for low level changes in relation to what you are eating. In the past you never thought like this. You ate and that was that.

Now you have an internal system observing for this for you and reporting back to you when necessary. The body scanner and other awareness techniques help you to become highly proficient at this most important task. You are actively managing your sugar addiction, eating disorder and reactive hypoglycemia, but you can do an even better job. Remember that your interest is not being mediocre, but it success at high levels. You know that this success will carry over to other goal areas of your life and they are eager for you to improve even more.

MIND EXERCISE.

While these exercises appear to be the same on the surface they are not. Each time you do these, you are actually beginning from a different place in time. The openings to the subconscious mind are different and fired by new conscious knowledge. Just as each breath you take is different from the one before, the same holds true for entering the mind on a suggestion.

With an air of positive expectation, enter your alpha brain wave state with a favorite image or method, tilt your eyes up, request your change book and begin writing with your mind pen. Notice that today your Inner Coach is also making some entries to help you further along.

A positive change about my nutritional intake written by my Inner Coach tells me _____________________________________________________________________

Notice your Inner Coach has also left some affirmations next to the book for planting and also a not reminding you that simple statements lead to big success in managing addictions and eating disorders:

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my balanced eating.
• I enjoy eating high nutritionally balanced meals.
• I notice my body sensations.

MINDBODY WORK.....

You are working well with your practice of body scanning and going to the alpha state riding your breath during the day. You have set up a good discipline for your banking practice. More than likely you are noticing some subtle changes in your physical being. This is because your subconscious mind is opening stress points all by itself. It is also keeping your auto-breath at the healthy alpha state level more frequently during the day.

Begin to notice this. Simply check in with your mind and body during the day just as if each major body group had it's own cell phone. If you find your body signaling tension, you know what to do. Place your fingers on the lower abdomen, allowing them to ride up and down. This only takes 1/200th of a second and your body physiology changes immediately. The more you check in with your mind and body, the better your performance. This is the Inner Coach CHALLENGE! The more you practice, the better you get and the closer you come to high level functioning

MIND EXERCISE.

While these exercises take very little time, do not underestimate their power. These are major mind programs and connected to high level health and optimum performance. With this in mind rethink the times you are practicing rhythmic alpha breathing. Notice how you can make these choices even better than before.

• New ways to practice enter my conscious mind.
• I'm awake to my body sensations and ask them to open.
• As I open body sensations I receive insights to emotions and goals.

NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Workbook Day 4 - How Long?

2010-01-13T09:16:00.000-08:00

"Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory."
....General George S. Patton

Yesterday you took a look at your personal history in making changes. I hope you took the time to work with your time-line and visited your subconscious library. This is a valuable technique, one that will be used frequently in our work. As you work with different areas of focus I will make suggestions for additional ways to enhance the subconscious mind programming. I also call these "containments." When managing sugar addiction or eating disorders you might have several different containments. For example, shopping is an important one, workplace eating, weekend eating, etc. You get the idea. You can image them as inner mind books related to the focus, or containers, or even specific paths with street signs naming the focus.
Here you are in the focus/containment of change.

I would like to suggest that you keep an ongoing list of times when you made a change, as well as the motivator behind that change. You might make some notes on the emotional crayons both for and against. The more awareness you bring to yourself and your actions, the more successful you will be in your current and future endeavors. Don't just focus on large changes. Notice the small changes as well. Since you will have more of these, you will build resilience even faster. Every change is important and can be applied to new possibilities on the time-line.

Sometimes the enormity of the challenge ahead frightens us. This is especially true in managing sugar addiction and eating disorders. You can't imagine being able to succeed. I am often asked the question, "How long does this take?" When you are working on lifestyle changes you must think about working on them forever. In the beginning, this thought is very depressing to many people. I often see the face change, or if I am discussing this in written form, the words create the often down trodden mood.

Yesterday I was having lunch with a business friend. Our eyes met over our salads......."I’m so tired of eating foods that are good for me! I really miss the days when I didn't know any better, and ate whatever I wanted." I asked Carol if she felt better physically now or then. "Of course I feel better now, but how I enjoyed that food!" You can see from this short conversation an interesting truth and this is often the basis of many addictions. You know something is not good for us, yet you crave it and even miss it. Actually it is part of the grieving process. As you look back into our memory bank, you can see other times when this truth presented itself.

MIND EXERCISE:

Take a moment to access your alpha state. Remember it is right at the end of your belly breath. After reading this, close your eyes and tilt them up. Go into your subconscious mind library and look for times when you stopped certain behaviors that were not in your best interest. Notice the emotions surrounding these changes. Make some notes regarding these discoveries: _______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________

Each time you bring up images from the past with connecting information, it's a good idea to add some extra value through the planting of emotionalized affirmations. While it only takes a moment, the changes can be life-enhancing. Image affirmations as multiplying as they enter your subconscious mind. Notice they enter many different library books on your shelves, as if they knew where they were needed.
• I am aware of my subconscious mind memory bank.
• I welcome challenges.
• I have met many challenges in the past and succeeded.
• My memory bank is filled with success pictures.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

Sugar addicted people, as well as those with other eating disorders have lots of questions. Most of these were answered earlier in the book, but sometimes you find ourselves asking them again, as if they were new and no one ever told us the answer. There are many reasons for this needed repetition. Parts of us don't want to know the truth. You are tied to the problem and can't seem to undo the knot. Sometimes you don't want to untie the knot and prefer to stay in the question as if it had no answer.

How much food does your body really need? Why am I hungry soon after eating? Why do I have less hunger if I don't eat at all? Why can't I stop eating certain foods once I start eating them?

The Inner Coach work helps us to place the questions and answers hypnotically right down into the subconscious mind library. Here you will get used to them and be able to accept them with less efforting.
Some facts up for review today include the realization that the body is made up of the lean body mass and fat. The lean body mass is made up of muscles and bone, acting as the engine of the car. It needs gas to run. The amount needed depends on it’s size, total body weight and amount of aerobic exercise. When you are eating sufficiently and in the right balance for your genetic wallpaper you will burn fat. Burning fat is very different from burning sugar for energy. It feels good and looks good. Even if you are not looking to lose weight, you want to stay in the fat burning mode for optimal health reasons including the management of reactive hypoglycemia and optimum brain function.

I see many clients in my practice who exercise strenuously and who do not eat sufficient nutrition to cover these activities. In many cases, the body will store fat, even on a low fat, low calorie diet if the individual is over-exercising in relation to intake. Another scenario is the person who is eating far too many high carbohydrate foods, high glycemic foods and not a sufficient amount of protein, low carbohydrates and fat . There balance is usually way off. In both of these cases, the person may cause an over production of insulin. So, instead of feeling healthy, focused and full of energy, this person might have insatiable hunger, cravings, fatigue, poor concentration, perhaps finding it very difficult to manage body weight. Often as not, motivation is off as well.

While one does not have to measure food, it is important to eyeball your intake and read your body sensations for low level changes. The body scanner and other awareness techniques will help you to become highly proficient at this most important task.

MIND EXERCISE.

As you receive additional information and especially if you have resistance to change that is now opening somewhat, you will want to return to that book in your subconscious library. You might be surprised to notice that you are now able to be more committed to making food changes. Take a moment to enter your alpha state and after reading this close your eyes and tilt them up. You will find your book already in front of you on your mind screen. In fact, it is opened to the page you need. Pick up your mind pen and begin to write. "A positive change I am ready to make now concerning my nutritional intake is:
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

The following affirmation plants will enhance the etching of these new programs. Observe as they enter even more books on the shelves of your subconscious library, as if they knew where they were needed.
• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my balanced eating.
• I enjoy eating high nutritionally balanced meals.
• I notice my body sensations.

MINDBODY WORK.....

Mind review time! Look back to the past few days and notice if you have been working with the body scanning and observing your breath. Do you have the "B" reminding you? A good idea is to get into the discipline of sitting for 5-10 minutes, at least twice a day, practicing rhythmic breathing at the alpha state. I like to do this either the first thing in the morning, or upon arrival at work. Do what works best for you. I also like to have a short session before lunch, thereby putting my thought processes and work down mentally and emotionally before eating and then another session before starting work again I always have one before leaving the office. This helps to build a containment between work and home. I know this may sound like a lot of work, but remember you are on the quest for optimum body and brain functioning. This is the CHALLENGE! The more you practice, the better you get and the closer you come to your highest level of functioning.

MIND EXERCISE.

Most people are caught up in auto-pilot life, moving from one stressful moment to the next. If the food is not in order, this journey is worsened. Your work is to wake up and to change in small increments. This is at the heart of body scanning. The body sensations can perform all kinds of wake-up calls including not only the lowest levels of stress, but waking you up to the possibilities of building stress. This is why it is so important that you build body scanning skills early in this program. They are at the very heart of interactive self-hypnosis work.

This is a good moment to ask your subconscious mind to assist you in building these skills. Enter your alpha brain wave state and become internally quiet utilizing whatever imagery you enjoy. After reading this tilt your eyes up and begin. "As I look at my day and evening, the times when I choose to practice body scanning and alpha breathing are presented to me." Notice the times and scenarios being shown to you by your inner librarian. Keep in mind that there will be exercises that border on sounding ridiculous. Pay no attention to that arrival of judgment. It will keep you from going forward in new ways, and so, ready to plant living affirmations now.

• I enjoy my breathing exercises.
• I practice rhythmic breathing ongoing throughout the day.
• I remember to breathe from my alpha level.
• I breathe at my desk.
• I breathe in my car.
• I breathe watching television.
• I am aware of my breath.

NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Inward Ho! - Locating Life Balance

2010-01-09T15:40:00.000-08:00

Inward ho!" ......Christopher Morley

Today you will be working on the design of balanced life-plan. True health is balance. In fact it is called homeostasis meaning a relatively stable state. When your health is stable, your mind and body work hand in hand to bring this stability to other areas as well. However this is only the starting off point for managing sugar addiction and eating disorders. A person looking for optimum health, or extraordinary achievements, must look and work beyond the common accepted level. The work you are doing allows you to move beyond mediocre.

In this work you are becoming a remarkable detective, always observing minute changes in the mind and body. You are taking the presented opportunities as keys to moving closer to much high levels functioning. The first step is always the hardest. It is the step of "beginning." Once the foot is on this step, the other foot will follow and then it's just a matter of putting one before the other over and over with consistency and persistence. And once the ball starts rolling, it tends to pick up speed!

Today you focus on a place to begin the work. In actual fact you have already begun, but it is good to learn to notice other beginnings and the actual moment in time where you will begin. This type of awareness can then be applied to any other areas in life. You will be able to move out of procrastination in the blink of an eye and most of us know how valuable that could be.

Isolating belief systems are often a good place to begin. Since the focus of this work is managing sugar addiction and eating disorders, the exploration of beliefs relating to making changes in these areas will open up powerful subconscious mind information. You will be looking at how you view change in these areas, as well as your emotional ties to change. You will notice what you gain by changing, as well as what you lose. All of these areas have emotional connotations as well. The more awareness, the more self-power.

MIND EXERCISE.

Take a moment to enter the alpha mind state. Tilt your eyes up and image your inner movie screen. Earlier in the book you learned about utilizing your time-line and how to build resilience files for the future. Today I would like you to do a quick life review, focusing in on times when you made changes. Have a look at your motivations to change in these specific situations. Were they towards motivators or away from motivators? Remember, both have value. Now notice the tools you developed to persist. Locate an example of a "quick change", as well as a change that took a longer period of time.

Describe your motivating strengths in making changes. What worked in the past for you? What else did you notice which might be useful to you now? Notice as many details as possible. You can state these out loud or write these down when you are finished.

Adding emotionalized affirmations to this work will etch it further into the subconscious mind files. You can either utilize these, return to the affirmation section of this book, or allow your own subconscious librarian to bring some forward for you.

• I am aware of my inner motivating power.
• I know how to motivate myself. It is easy to motivate myself.
• Change is a part of my life and I am open to it!

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

It is helpful to utilize past subconscious mind files when working to make important changes. f you were an competitive ice skater you would practice your triple jumps over and over. It is no different for any other goal achievement. With this in mind lets go back , visiting reactive hypoglycemia or hyperinsulinemia.
Remember, if you have a personal or family medical history that includes adult onset diabetes, hypoglycemia, circulatory disorders such as stroke, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer of the uterus, breast, or ovary, obesity, yo-yo weight gain, smoking, and/or other addictions, such as alcohol, drugs both legal and recreational, or SUGAR, you may have this tendency towards this biochemical glitch. What this means is that when you eat or drink high carbohydrate or high glycemic foods, and especially if you do so frequently, your body may react by excreting excess insulin. When this happens over a period of time, you are more prone to developing a resistance as well.

Moments count. What you eat today can affect your body for years to come. It's important to stay awake and keep an eye out for what enters your mouth. Many people practice "sleep-eating" even though they appear to be awake. This can end up being a very dangerous habit, one that can take you right through the one-way door of disease.

Earlier in the book I made suggestions for your personalized nutritional intake. I also instructed you how to notice the excess insulin production through self-assessments. On your daily log sheets you will be able to see this quite clearly. It is very important to keep these for a while, until you are well on your way to managing this part of your program.

MIND EXERCISE:

You already know where the mind book is located that relates to daily changes in food intake. Take a quiet moment for yourself and visit the library of the mind. Take the book off the shelf and open to your already in process change work. With mind pen in hand make a new entry. " A positive change I will make today concerning my nutritional intake is:
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

Now reinforce this mind etching with some affirmation plants. Here are some you might enjoy. Or ask your inner librarian to bring you some personalized ones. Remember they don't have to be complicated to work. It is important to color them emotionally. You might want to return to your emotional crayon area and pick some crayons you haven't used in awhile.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my balanced eating.
• I enjoy eating high nutritionally balanced meals.

MINDBODY WORK.....

We all need and benefit from reminders. There is nothing wrong with needing reminders. I like sticky papers because you can move them around. Write the letter "B" on one of these and place a circle around it. The "B" stands for your breath, the life-line to living.

MIND EXERCISE.

Place your finger tips very lightly on your lower abdomen just below your belly button.. Imagine that your lower abdomen contains a lovely colored balloon that gets bigger with the out breath and smaller with the in breath. Please do not force your breathing, but just notice this fact with your fingertips as witnesses of the event. Now, just sit for a few moments and observe this. This type of breathing is known as "mindful breathing." Actually, any time you observe our breathing at all, is mindful, but it is a good idea to get the mind and body used to breathing from the lower abdomen. As you do this exercise, you brain waves start to slow down and you will begin to experience the alpha brain wave state.

The alpha state is simply the name given to the level of brain frequency of between 7 to 14 pulsations per second, about half the normal rate. When you slow your brain frequency to alpha, you gain access to capabilities of the mind that were formerly outside your control. You become able to use the powers of your right hemisphere to achieve your goals in every area of your life.

This exercise is VERY IMPORTANT, and perhaps constitutes the most important part of our work. The reason I asked you to place that little sticky paper somewhere on your desk, or if you are at home, on the refrigerator or somewhere else you pass frequently, is so you will remember to practice this exercise. After a while the brain will remember to do this all by itself!.

From time to time program the following active affirmations when you go to the alpha state. Remember to color them with positive emotional crayons and visualize them like movies in the theater of your mind:

• I am now learning to use more of my mind and to use it in a special way.
• My increasing mental faculties are for serving humanity on a higher level.
• Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
• I will always maintain a perfectly healthy mind and body.
• I respect myself and my mindbody.
• My mind is my personal creative resource.
• Ideas form in my mind like fast growing plants.

NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Day Two - Hurry Up Disease

2010-01-07T08:41:00.000-08:00

"Everyone goes at their own pace. Watching someone pass you by doesn't make
your journey any less meaningful." Author unknown

Pacing change is vital to licking sugar addiction, eating disorders and long term success for all goals on your goal-den path. Many people suffer from the need for immediate gratification that I call hurry-up disease. If you have this disease, focus on it. This will allow you to see the tendency towards compulsiveness right under the surface of the hurry up mind state. Usually this is not new for most of us, especially in sugar addicted individuals or those suffering with eating disorder. These mind states present themselves in a variety of inner programs and as you become more proficient at examining your current subconscious programs, you will find clues to their existence in the different areas of both inner and outer life. As you work to become more aware and then to edit these emotions that interfere with pacing, you will find yourself reaching even more goals, perhaps some you haven't even thought about for awhile. The subconscious mind librarian will simply pick them up off the table in the inner library and do them for you.
Most of us don't have to look far to locate the inner and outer judge aspects of ourselves. They usually hang around and whisper critical messages into our ears. As you improve the observations of your thought patterns, listening to your verbal conversations you will find this emotional crayon literally coloring overtime.

Today's work is engaging the process of waking up to judgmental mind-talk., the little voice in the head that judges this and that. Notice that some of the judgments are aimed at you and some at others or situations. Self-judgment and that of others is very much a part of the addicted personality pattern, but this is not an excuse for keeping it as is. As thought awareness improves you will begin to notice the crayon coloring your verbal conversations, things you say even without thinking. The work today is to only engage the seeing process, not to change anything dramatically. Just the seeing will enforce a change and as you continue with this work the judgmental crayon will stay in the box more often.

You might take a mental scratch pad and make a check mark every time you notice your judgmental crayon. Make one column for self-judging, another for the judging of others or situations. This is inner "detective work". You are focusing on awareness of thoughts, your body connections to these thoughts and the emotional crayons as they come to color the experiences.

MIND EXERCISE:

Just as if you had a picture in your wallet of your judgmental emotional state holding it's little crayon, go ahead and describe it , just as if it were a little child wearing a tee shirt with the word "JUDGMENT" on the front. Listen carefully so you can hear the mind and verbal chatter. Notice it is separate from you and that you are the observer. This is a powerful exercise in disassociation. When something is separate from you the act of control is easier. The emotional child is outside of you where it can be contained and educated. _____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Inner pictures with affirmation direction enhance new mind programs. Remember to tilt your eyes up 20 degrees and place your inner movie screen up and out before planting. It also helps to see a detailed picture with the accompanying words. In this exercise notice the building of the earlier blueprint. The inner mind is being directed to join this work together. This will enhance outcomes.

• I notice my judgmental emotional visitor and smile at it when it visits me.
• My judgmental visitor is outside of myself. I can notice it easily.
• When I notice it being present, I smile inwardly and then notice my breath.
• I make changes in small increments.
• I examine my blueprint many times a day. I am excited about my plans. I enjoy change.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

In the assessment you learned the importance of your family and personal medical history in relation to your current food intake. This history forms your genetic wallpaper. You might say, "Oh well, I can't do anything about that, so why should I be concerned?" The truth is that if you continue to think along these lines you will only run into more problems with sugar addiction, eating disorders and other chronic diseases that are waiting up the road for you. Each of us must take full responsibility for our genetic wallpaper.

Metaphorically speaking, either you get on the right bus or the wrong bus. Depending on the bus you take, the destination and the stops along the way will be very different.

As you become aware of your wallpaper emerging in different areas of your life, you can work to change certain aspects of your lifestyle behaviors. These changes will make you healthier in the long run, as well as RIGHT NOW! Of course this includes how your mind functions as well.

Earlier in this book you were introduced to reactive hypoglycemia, also called hyperinsulinemia. You learned if you have a family medical history making you prone to this biochemical factor, you may either over-produce a hormone known as insulin, or you may have a resistance to it. You might be prone to insulin build-up, or a combination of the two. The bottom line is that this biochemical glitch can make you feel quite miserable.

Remember some of the symptoms? They include yo-yo weight gain, cravings especially for sugar foods or other high glycemic foods, intense hunger, weakness, shakiness, the need for frequent meals, poor concentration, emotional instability, memory disorders, lack of focus, feelings of anxiety and panic, lack of motivation, fatigue, and a host of other symptoms. This condition is associated with stress, anxiety, smoking, weight, or poor concentration. The good news is that it is easily correctable and improvements come quickly. It is also important to remember that genetic wallpaper cannot be changed and therefore you must commit to taking care of it throughout your life. Believe it or not this is good news in disguise for the actual tools of caring for this wallpaper will enhance your ability to focus, manage emotional states and even accelerate learning as well as creative thought. Not a bad payoff for taking care of yourself!

MIND EXERCISE:

Let's go back into the subconscious mind library and pick up the book from yesterday. Remember you are learning to pace changes. You don't have to do everything at once. That type of practice leads to inviting the emotional state named "overwhelmed." So open to the chapter about nutritional change and continue reading. "A positive change I will make on this day concerning my nutritional intake is:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________

Each time you open your mind books and there are many of them by the way, you have the opportunity to place additional subconscious suggestion in the form of active imagery or live affirmations. You can either plant the affirmations listed here, go back to the affirmation chapter of the book or design your own right in the moment. These are gifts from your subconscious librarian. While some of these affirmations appear very simple, they are still very powerful. You often confuse simplicity with unimportance and nothing could be further from the truth. Remember that when you place any affirmation, see it in action just as if it were it's own little inner movie playing out in the theater of your mind.

Before you leave your mind exercise, etch some affirmations into your subconscious mind.

• I care for myself at high levels.
• I am aware of my balanced eating.
• I enjoy eating high nutritionally balanced meals.

MINDBODY WORK.....

It is human nature to continually want new and different things. This part of our humanity often keeps us from success. You get something new, play with it for awhile, tire of it and look for something else to entertain our minds. Following this awareness, I hope you are moving right along with the body scanner practice. Unfortunately the body scanner is one of those things that tends to be put back on the shelf and what a shame that it. This tool is one of the most important and holds the key for success in managing sugar addiction, as well as all accelerated learning and higher creativity.

Why does this happen? Sometimes you don't want to take this time for ourselves. Most addicted people tend towards compulsion. This can be both physiological, as well as emotional. As the food improves, the compulsiveness will lessen in most people. The body scanner often brings forth certain emotional visitors that are related to compulsion. Two prominent members of this group are impatience and intolerance. . Should you notice their arrival into your life experience during the discipline practice of body scanning, I would like you to do the following:

Build a stronger self-discipline for this practice. Schedule a time and write it down as an appointment to yourself. Make this the same time each day or evening. Do not allow yourself to break for trivial reasons.

Visualize yourself lying down, or sitting comfortably and enjoying body scanning.

Visualize your end goal and say the following affirmation: THE BODY SCANNER OPENS THE DOOR TO MY HIGHEST ASPIRATIONS. See a double picture frame. One side has you practicing the body scanner, and the other picture is you experiencing your end goal. Surround the picture frame with a white circle, and now send a white light directly at the picture frame and repeat the above affirmation: THE BODY SCANNER OPENS THE DOOR TO MY HIGHEST ASPIRATIONS.

MIND EXERCISE:

You know that you can scan your body in any moment and benefit immediately. Go ahead and scan your body now, noticing any sensations or tension. What areas of your body hold the most tension? Invite those parts to release by placing a flower on them and opening it slowly with inner vision.

This is a good moment to further etch your mind program for automatic body scanning. These active affirmations will work as post-hypnotic suggestion and keep your body at lower tension levels throughout your day.

• I practice the body scanner daily.
• My ability to focus is improving day by day.
• I am aware of my body sensations throughout the day.
• I practice noticing and releasing throughout the day.

Before going to sleep tonight revisit your muscle groups one by one. Start at the top of your head and make your way down, wishing them health and happiness. For instance, with your eyes closed, focus on the toes of your left foot, visualize the toes and deliver this message "I WISH YOU HEALTH AND HAPPINESS." Now, I realize how ridiculous this sounds. Those of us working in this field are well aware that many techniques you teach do sound this way, but this is how the mind works. These creative visualization exercises allow your body to release minute tension spots that not only lead to stress related illnesses, but block our ability to utilize our subconscious mind to its full potential.

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Day One - BluePrints

2010-01-05T08:38:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes you do not know long it will take to complete a journey,
especially if you have never ever been there." author unknown

It is time to begin. Each day I will be introducing you to different ways to utilize the tools you were given earlier. These new applications will allow you to practice "exceptional living." as well as sugar addiction management. You now have the opportunity to make the tools truly yours and in so doing you will create and experience excellence throughout your life.

In this particular program you are learning to manage eating disorders and addictions through the practice awareness and interactive self-hypnosis "in the moment." I do hope you have utilized your Assessments, having outlined some of the first changes you plan to make as you grow towards your personal goals. Remember that your goals are multi-dimensional. While you are managing issues, you are also self-developing in the direction of many different goals.

You are designing blueprints for future growth. Each and every time you work with the tools and techniques of this program you are etching new neurological tracks for programming your mind and body. Each and every time you place your goal pictures into your subconscious mind following Awareness Meditation Banking or regular practice, the etching becomes deeper. Your outcomes will be speeded along by frequent review of "the blueprint" with creative visualization techniques. There are times when you may feel overwhelmed by the number of changes needed, but do not despair. Your focus is on your daily work. You already know to recognize and diminish unhelpful emotional states. As you continue to do this "in the moment" your positive changes will be quick and permanent.

Lasting changes are best made in small increments. While your basic plan will present much work, keep in mind that you will be mastering your blueprint brick by brick. You will continually return to the drafting table, observing and delighting in the end goals. You do know that modifications will most certainly occur as different levels of the project take on a life of their own. You also know and accept that the end project may look very different indeed from the original blueprint. Do not be put off by this, but instead, celebrate the unfolding of the process while enjoying each step of the way.

Writing goal descriptions is one of the most powerful exercises you can do. Perhaps you will begin a special journal for this work. As you read earlier in this book, it is a good idea to divide your life up into separate goal gardens and choose one important goal for each area.

MIND EXERCISE:

Just as if you had a picture of one of your end goals sitting on your desk, go ahead and describe it in detail. Make it vivid and as complete as possible. Be sure to allow your emotions to arise that connect to this wonderful end goal photograph: __________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________

Let's go ahead and place this goal into the subconscious mind library. Take a deep yawn breath and allow your body to deepen. You already learned this work in the Awareness area, so utilize whatever images or sensations work best for you. Now tilt your eyes up 20 degrees and see your end goal picture as it plays on the movie screen. Spend some time with this. Allow it to play out in all it's detail. Bring in emotional states that benefit the goal, perhaps confidence, joy, focus and discipline. You might go back to your emotional crayon area and review the list of possibilities. Remember you will be continuing your work with this goal, so changes may be forthcoming. When you are ready place a gold frame around the activated goal picture and following another deepening breath, apply the following affirmation instructions in the form of living images.

• I make changes in small increments.
• I examine my blueprint many times a day.
• I invite helpful emotional states to color my experiences.
• I am excited about my plans.
• I enjoy change.

NUTRITIONAL INSIGHTS:

Coming to terms with the need to improve nutritional intake is most important. Food intake can not be taken lightly. Every time you eat or drink you are making changes that effect your future. Sometimes it is difficult to focus on the early changes connected to the development of chronic disease, but this does not mean that they are not there. You might practice imaging the you of tomorrow and the you of five years down the pike actually eating with you and experiencing the outcomes of those current food choices. This is a good wake-up image to play in the moment, especially if the food choices aren't very healthy! . This book will help you see these so you can change earlier in the destructive process and go towards health instead of disease.

Earlier on in the book you designed your eating plan, but this did not mean that your nutritional work is was over. Far from it! Actually it is just beginning. Your eating plan is foundation of your blueprint for nutritional change.. Whether or not one of your goals is to manage sugar addiction, lose weight, gain weight, or maintain weight, the integration of a sound, balanced eating plan works as a catalyst for all other work. This is simple logic. The mind and body need nutrition to function. If the goal is "exceptional functioning" it stands to reason that the eating plan must also be exceptional. Fortunately in our country there is no shortage of high energy nutritional foods. The truth is that many of us are lazy, unimaginative and careless in our nutritional self-care. Often as not, the mind and body are not fed properly, yet expected to function at high levels.

I often hear the comment, "I do not know how to cook." "I have no time to prepare my meals." "I eat most meals in restaurants." "I have to eat in the car while driving." "My husband/wife/family does not like this kind of food." The bottom line is this....if you want to excel at exceptional levels, you must take full responsibility for your eating habits. Someone else's choices have nothing to do with what you are choosing for yourself. These are just excuses and poor ones at that! There really is no need to be a great chef, but if you really do not know how to cook a simple meal, this might be a great time to learn this life-sustaining skill.
This book is about putting the pen to paper and then putting the plan into action. It helps to make small precision-like steps, each building on the other. Here you will be making a commitment to yourself and this program:

MIND EXERCISE:

Relax deeply and tilt your eyes up inviting the alpha state. Notice you are taking a book off your library of life shelf. The title has to do with changes you are making and you are the author. Open to the chapter about nutritional changes and read the first paragraph. "A positive change I will make this week regarding my nutritional choices will be:__________________________________________________________________

The subconscious mind now takes the written commitment as a new mind program. Next it needs to be visualized and actualized with emotion. You already know how to reach your alpha brain wave level and to place a new program on the mind screen. Go ahead now and see yourself living out your nutritional change. Feel what it feels like to have this program in place. Allow the freedom of being well in this moment future-pace to next week, next year, five years from now and right down to the end of your life. Sit quietly and allow this program to sift inward.

Adding affirmations at this time will enhance the programming. Remember to energize them with emotions and active imagery.
• I make frequent positive changes.
• I am aware of my balanced eating.
• I enjoy eating high nutritionally balanced meals.

MINDBODY WORK.....

Today the focus is on the all important practice of Mental Biofeedback, also called body scanning. You already met up with this technique earlier in the book. Just as in your nutritional plan, mind tools have many areas of application and this daily process will allow the spoon feeding these to your subconscious mind. Just as sound nutrition is vital for the health of mind and body, the ability to read body sensations is essential for balanced living , high level health, cognitive and emotional functioning. It's interesting to note that most of us are completely out of touch with our bodies, despite the fact that we are preoccupied with them.
The body scan is a very powerful technique used to re-establish contact with the body through thorough and minute focusing. It is just like looking at very small muscle groups through a magnifying glass and noticing many things about them. It is an effective technique for developing both concentration and flexibility of attention simultaneously.

After completing the body scan you feel transparent, as if there is nothing left but the breath. In our program you practice this daily for at least a month. A good time to practice this is late in the afternoon, or an hour or so after dinner. While it is a great way to fall asleep, this is an awake exercise. If you find yourself falling asleep during practice, try doing it sitting up with your feet flat on the floor. Developing self-discipline is an important part of our work and this is a perfect day to get started.

Mental biofeedback or body scanning can be done slowly or quickly. There are benefits to both ways. Once you are well practiced and versatile, good communication is in place with the body and associated emotional states, you can benefit in additional ways. In any moment you have the power to request a change or shift in a body communication such as in a craving, pain or even an emotional state. As you work with sugar addiction and eating disorder, cravings or compulsions can be lessened and reprogrammed through body scanning.

MIND EXERCISE:

Sit up straight with both feet flat on the floor and allow your body to sit deeply into the chair. Place your finger tips on your lower abdomen and take in a deep yawn breath. Slowly allow it to exit your mouth, noticing that your body goes deeper into the chair. Once you have finished reading this, close your eyes and tilt them the twenty degrees and now scan your body with your mind, noticing any sensations or tension. Which areas of your body hold the most tension?_______________________________________________________________

In the future these parts will speak out to you more frequently. You already know how to open them and the benefits of doing so regularly. In the days that follow this you will be learning more applications of mental biofeedback so they can be etched into your subconscious mind as new and powerful programs. You will also learn to open the body sensations, release the stored tension and observe the connected emotional states that placed the tension there in the first place.

Before leaving your mind exercise, plant the following affirmations with live imagery.
• I practice the body scanner daily.
• My ability to focus is improving day by day.

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Little Shoes

2009-12-31T13:30:00.000-08:00

Little Shoes....Little Steps...each one important unto itSelf! Stop for a moment, remembering how many you have already taken...Shhhh...quiet now....remembering that you are a spiritual being & there is no one else like you on the face of the earth, nor will there ever be another. Your steps are your steps!

Remember, mind imagery or sensing is different from actual experiences, but your subconscious mind will follow what you present “as being true.” Be as detailed as you can, knowing that each time you do, these very programs will be etched further into your subconscious mind. Do not worry if you feel awkward or feel like nothing is happening. Be patient with the process and you will receive the benefits. I like to use my journal for this purpose. Writing the details down, further etch them into the subconscious mind.

MIND CONTAINMENTS

It’s time to design the separate gardens. Place an image at the top of your journal page, and follow with your detailed explanation. No need to be an artist. When I began inner organizing my life in this way I simply drew an empty rectangle to cue in my subconscious mind. If you like to think in action video, design a movie.

1.The master garden is called the Mind & Body Health Garden. This garden houses all of the body part “plants”. Without good care in this garden, the other life-area gardens will have difficulty flourishing. The MindBody Health Garden is your the most important garden. Your level of health will determine your success in the other areas of your life. You will come to understand that there is an "under-ground root system" that communicates between all of the gardens. Understanding this, keeps one motivated to provide the nutrition that is needed by the body systems. As you work directly in the "mindbody health garden" you will come to know your body systems in a more personal way. They will actually begin to communicate with you throughout the day & help you to achieve very positive outcomes, not only in "their garden", but in other gardens as well.

2. Your Relationship with Yourself heads the gardens on the left side of the path. This tells you something, does it not? You are indeed VERY IMPORTANT & keep in mind the under-ground root system. All gardens are connected.

3. Your Relationships with Your Significant Other is the very next garden & needs close attention in daily life, keeping it in balance & free from co-dependent weeds. As you learn to work this very important garden with emotional management & by providing "fertilizers", you can effect change with your significant other with less stress.

4. Your Prosperity & Work Gardens are next to each other BUT are not the same. You can actually locate prosperity plants in all areas of your life & will continue to plant more & more in this area.

5. Work Gardens are only a part of the goal-den path & not the whole path. Big news for some people. Many of us have an imbalanced path in this regard & so noticing this path-structure, will send the message to the subconscious mind that you are "in life-balance."

6. The Home Garden is part of the path. Whatever surrounds us is where our mind & body are living in that moment. It's healthy to remember this as everything is communicated through the root systems to all parts of our life. Usually we all have plenty of work & de-cluttering to do in this area of the path.

7. Whether or not we are "religious", we all have a spiritual part to our life. Even non-believers ! We all have a Higher Self & as we begin to take care of that "self", we will benefit from the underground communication system...........the roots.

8. We all have a future, be it one minute, one year or decades. What we do in this moment matters & will have outcomes in all areas of our life. The better we work in the future garden, the more likely we will achieve the outcomes we want. The future garden helps us to build our opportunities, one seed at a time.....................& don't forget the underground communication system that is feeding the future !!

You will be working with this over-arching image throughout the book. In fact, I suggest that you look at this EACH DAY to remind/etch the image into your subconscious mind. You are looking for "life balance" & asking the subconscious mind to bring this to you. Keep in mind that NOTHING you do or think is missed by the inner mind. Every single thought is seen as a "desired mind program", whether or not you want it or not !! The subconscious mind is like a servo-mechanism, a radar of sorts. When you play a thought in the DVD of the mind, your subconscious mind goes & find anything & everything to support that thought. It goes both outward into the world, searching & securing & also it matches old programs from the mind-storage & utilizes those to re-enforce the innocent thought. Sounds good, if you are playing something you want in the mind, but what if you are not????? This the Power of Attraction!

Self-Discussion & Journaling Work

1. Your mindbody health garden contains body part plants for every part of your body & lives on the right hand side of your path, all by itself. Why do you think that it is important to place the image in this way? Relax deeply & discuss this positioning with your subconscious librarian. Ask if there is anything more you need to know about this positioning.

2. Your relationship with yourself garden is the largest garden on the left hand side of the path. Why do you believe that this positioning is so important? If I hadn't suggested this, where would you have placed this particular garden? If it is a different position from the one above, ask your inner librarian why you made this choice in the past.

3. Notice the positioning of the other gardens & ask yourself if this is the way you would like them to be. What does this positioning say to you? If you prefer to change the positioning, ask yourself "why" & then consider if this would be the very best design for your goal-den path. Spend some time on these "small details", understanding that they are not small at all. In fact, they are very large indeed.

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

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http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Activating Self-Power Sources

2009-12-26T08:25:00.000-08:00

This mini-chapter is a continuation of the one just below it. If you are new to my writing & have interest in disorderly eating issues, you might like to start at the beginning. There is a link near to the bottom that will direct you there. You can also find complimentary mp3's on any of my websites.

MIND EXERCISE – Working the Triple Monitor

The triple monitor is like a wide screen television, but having three sections or screens. You can number the screens, one, two and three. Let’s work with the first screen, placing a picture on it of something you do not want. Work with the image until it is clear. We tend to have a habit of now wanting to see what we don’t want, but we focus on it anyway. That focus brings it towards us. But now, once you have clarified what you do not want, utilize your mind to shrink it down. Make it small, but keep it recognizable.

You can also make this screen black and white rendering the image less appealing. Now bring your attention over to monitor three, skipping the center monitor. Place an image of what you do want, in relation to monitor one that tells the mind what you don’t want. Make this image full of detail, colored brightly. Bring the highly desired images forward, adding some positive and powerful emotional energy, perhaps playing music in the background. Now bring your attention to the center monitor number two. Notice the work going on in there. These are your subconscious mind helpers making all the plans and action steps to transmute what you don’t want into what you do want.

The triple monitor is actually a full containment or inner mind program for a specific goal. You can utilize this for a complete goal or even for small aspects of a goal. For example, you can have separate triple monitors for each of your eating behaviors, or emotional states in a particular area of your life.

MIND EXERCISE – Accessing Your Inner Power Sources

Whether or not you believe in a Higher Power, we all do have a Higher Self. This part of us is our core-self, free from our child-emotional states and their crayons. Some people call this their wise or intuitive self. In the practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis it helps to have images for our Higher Self, and if it fits with your belief system, an image for your Higher Power. Once again, planned images act as containments, helping us to make rapid transitions out of high stress or emotional child behavior to a direct communication with a Higher Power and/or Higher Self. In addition, you can build a group of Inner Guides or Mentors to help in specific areas. We’ll meet up with them in the Library of the Masters.

Stress or emotional child states are like waving flags, suggesting you wake up and gently move to the position of Higher Self. This is achieved in Interactive Awareness that you read about in an earlier chapter. It is a simple, but profound shift of both mind and body. As you move from stress to Higher Self, you are free to communicate directly with your subconscious mind, various mentors and guides. You are also in position to work on goals in process, or plant new suggestions in the different areas of your gardens.
Rest your eyes comfortably on your mind screen, bringing forward your goal-den path and gardens. In the last chapter you met up with your Master Gardener. This may be an image you would like to utilize for either your Higher Power or Higher Self. If you prefer another image, please go ahead and do so now. I also suggest you design a containment for transmuting stress. The image that I work with is a big light at the end of the path. It is bright, but doesn’t hurt the eyes. There is a chair for you in the middle of the path, directly in front of the light, as well as smaller chairs to the right and left. Those are for emotional child-states that need to diminish stress.

In conscious life when you notice an emotion is out of balance, you can simply place your path and light on your mind screen, having the emotion sitting, filling with light, with stress dripping off the ends of it’s fingers. I like to turn the stress droplets into gold dust. This completes the transmutation process, bringing power and success from emotions that are coloring with negative crayons. You can the experiential imagery of collecting the gold dust, depositing it on specific goal plants in your gardens.

There are many ways for you to communicate with your Higher Power and Higher Self. Perhaps you already pray, and while that is an undisputed wonderful tool, there are other Interactive Images that are powerful as well. You might design a specific garden for formal meetings with your Higher Power or Higher Self. This spiritual containment can be enormously helpful for healing both physical and emotional wounds. It is here you that you will more than likely be shown the way around any obstructions in your path while learning to interpret their hidden meanings.

MIND EXERCISE – Locating Your Library of the Mind

In addition to your video programs, you can work with your subconscious mind through the image of an inner library. The library metaphor has the advantage of being able to go slower, as well as turning pages forward and back. Some individuals find this a more comfortable way for reviewing and deciding to make changes. It is also here that you are busy writing your book about today, as well as future books.

The library and the books work as containments, giving us a way to isolate our behaviors and goals for careful observation. My library is located in a separate area in the workshop of the mind and is kept in order by the subconscious librarian who functions as one of my inner mentors. When I have need for something, she provides the books where the information is written, as well as pulling together other related materials that might be out of reach of the conscious memory. The inner librarian is also very creative, enjoying pulling together mind projects that appear consciously as breakthrough ideas, or “eurekas” !

While this concept may appear a bit offbeat, we all have experienced asking “ourselves” things such as “where are my keys?” “Why did I do that?” So in fact the Inner Librarian is that part of yourself who does not where things are and why we do things. Once we get accustomed to requesting the multitude of services on a regular basis, one is amazed at how much help is truly available right in the moment!
Interactive Self-Hypnosis provides working metaphors for utilizing the library books from the past, as well as those you might be currently writing. In an earlier chapter on self-assessment you collected information from these very books. Now you can go back into these books and edit them. You might like to re-write some of the text, rearrange the emotional perceptions, change outcomes, collect power resilience memories, empower the child or earlier adult with new information, or look for lessons learned. In future books you might like to write your desired outcomes just as if you had them in the palm of your hand.

Another great exercise is one of moving boundaries. Most of us tend to program within narrow corridors or expectations. In Interactive Self-Hypnosis you can move those boundaries outward, thereby giving the subconscious librarian more room to bring in higher-expectation suggestions. For example, when looking to manage an addiction, write the future book in such a way that the addiction is not only easily managed, but the act of managing it brings you added prosperity well beyond your current expectations. This is a tremendous motivator that transmutes any perceived unpleasant experiences into valuable assets.

MIND EXERCISE – Entering Your Library of the Masters

The subconscious mind is a vast library filled with experiential memories of each of your senses from every moment of life. A whiff of perfume can transport you back to sitting on your grandmother’s lap, feeling her tender touch as she wipes your tears. In this instance the perfume is the trigger or containment for all parts of the memory. Many of our experiences have little meaning in the moment unless we need them, but this doesn’t mean that they are not planted in the subconscious mind. Sometimes we need specific memories well after the fact, and so it is a good idea to build an additional library containment. I call mine the Library of the Masters. This is not a spiritual metaphor, but it certainly could be for those who might like to design their library in that way.

Masters or Inner Guides are specialists in their field. As we enter the area we have designed as their containment, we can either call on the needed specialist, or ask for the books about the specific subject. Perhaps you might like to visit with a dietary specialist, or one working in the field of addiction. Once they are present, simply ask for what you need and be prepared to listen. Often the answers are forthcoming immediately, other times they may be given in a dream or in another quiet moment such as in the shower or when driving your car. If you have been meeting with mind specialists, be sure to give yourself lots of quiet time for arrival of the answers.

It’s really quite amazing how the mind works in this way. You can even invite a specialist to take an exam with you, as well as give a presentation to a group or any other time you may benefit from this mind service. Sometimes I take a specialist into the supermarket to view my shopping habits. It’s also not uncommon for one to be with me when eating out. Think how you might utilize this mind service!

MIND EXERCISE – Visiting Your Emotional School House

It’s fairly well known that either you manage your emotions or they will manage you. In the past this was easier said than done, but now you have the tools of Interactive Awareness and Self-Hypnosis to not only help you manage your emotions, but to help you surpass your goals through the actual managing. The Emotional School House is a great containment I designed for attaching both negative and positive-state emotions to your goal development.

I placed my schoolhouse down the path from the Workshop so the emotions would be separated from the other tools. I wanted to impress my subconscious mind with their importance and so they have their own building. Take a moment to relax deeply and I’ll show you around my containment. As we enter you will notice that even the hallway announces itself as a happy and positive seat of learning. There are classroom doors lining the hallway, each hosting a goal picture.

Inside the room the emotions, both positive and negative state, are sitting in learning circles each having a goal book on their lap. The goal books have left and right sides. The left sides are teaching what will happen if the negatives are employed by the goal. These are all “away-from motivators”. The right side of the book are “towards motivators” or what will happen if the positives are employed by the goal. The teacher can be my Higher Power, Self or one of the Specialist Mentors. The teacher goes on to explore the goal expansion, or greater expectations with the emotions. This is a creative thinking exercise that invites the subconscious mind to send up more & more ideas connected to the isolated goal. The isolation of goals is very important for growth and development. This is ultimate focus.

Each time I visit the classroom I’m actually reinforcing both sets of motivators. Think for a moment about the books your emotions would be reviewing in relation to your sugar addiction or eating disorder. What negative-state emotions would be present in your classroom? What positive-state emotions would benefit from being enhanced from isolation of goal work & enhanced motivation? Who would you call on to teach these classes? Now think about another goal area in your life that would benefit from emotional teaching. Keep in mind that everything on your goal-den path is connected by an underground root system. As you work in one goal area, others will automatically benefit.

MIND EXERCISE – The Board Meeting

The board meeting is a practice in organized thought made even more powerful with the additions of Interactive Awareness and Self-Hypnosis. Relax deeply and I’ll show you around my board meeting room. As we enter notice it looks like any other board room, housing a large table, one chair at each end and three chairs on each side. As Chairman of the Board I sit on one end. My Higher Power or Self sits opposite to me.

There are several types of meetings that benefit self-development and will determine who sits on the right and left seats. For example, if I am having a meeting with emotions that are interfering with my goal of managing sugar addiction, they will be sitting in those seats. I may also choose to call in several of my positive-state emotions to assist the ones in trouble. Meetings are places for views to be shared and not meant to be dictatorial. When meeting with emotions, give them the opportunity to explain themselves. Question their behaviors and intentions. As you are in self-hypnotic trance, these questions will open important areas of understanding for you.

One day I was interviewing an emotion that was insisting that I purchase ice cream, even though it was not on the shopping list. During the board meeting interview the emotion expressed it’s anger with me because there was no fun or enjoyment during the past few weeks. “All you do is work, work, work!” Sound familiar? So the emotion insisted on the ice cream to break the work addiction. This was important information, not only for the moment, but in helping to understand the past and to help protect the future.

Another great way to work with the board room containment is to hold a master mind meeting. Just as a company chooses its board of directors, you can do the same. This board, however, meets in your mind. You can choose anyone you like to be on your board. You don’t have to know them, they don’t have to be alive, nor do they have to be real. You can borrow from history, from fiction, or from your own creative mind processes. Once the board is in place, do keep it like that. While it’s fine to bring in a guest specialist, it works to your benefit to keep the same board members in place. I put mine together about twenty years ago. When you decide to hold a meeting, deepen your trance state, call the board to order and present the issues on the table. Anything goes! Remember to listen carefully to what your members have to say, and pass all suggestions to your Higher Power or Self, making certain they do fit well with your value system. Remember that while others may suggest things, you are the Chairman and all decisions rest with you.

You may wonder why you might want to work with this containment, and what is actually happening. Earlier on I explained that your subconscious mind is vast and in order to pull together information from the deep vaults, you might need some special tools or containments. The board of directors is simply one of these tools. The idea that it encompasses wise and successful members, speaks to those parts of yourself, calling them to action.

It’s a good idea to draw a graphic of your board table and the position of the seats. Begin to keep a list of possible members. In the beginning you may not be able to think of any, and then you find so many that you will wonder how you can choose just six. Take this project with you as you practice Interactive Self-Hypnosis. Your subconscious mind will help you to formulate your very best board member choices.

MIND EXERCISE – Plugging Into Automatic Writing

Just as the mentors and board members help to access different areas of the subconscious mind, there are other tools for going even further, one of these being that of automatic writing. Before beginning any mind exercise, make certain you will not be disturbed for the time you have chosen for your self-development work and then relax deeply. I like to image my writing mentor either on the triple monitor or actually sitting in the same room with me. Our communication tool will be that of pen and paper.

Of course you can communicate in this way with your Higher Power, self, mind mentors, specialists or your emotions. Writing is a powerful way to open the subconscious mind. You might also consider corresponding with particular mind models such as Wisdom, Truth, Forgiveness or Compassion. You might even contact a particular project you are working on such as your management of sugar addiction. This is your opportunity to ask it what you need to know, listening to what it has to say to you. This process allows you to gather insights that would not be so readily available. Once in contact you are free to ask for all kinds of help including overcoming old roadblocks.

Think of the many ways you can work with this tool. I have a patient who had very long correspondence with her cancer. Before long they were on fairly good terms, the cancer agreeing to actually partner in the treatment. Another patient had long discussions with her rather messy house, a reflection of her rather messy life. She was able to clarify quite a bit about both, make some important changes and continues to stay in touch regularly.

MIND EXERCISE – Attending Your Interactive Theater

Down the path from the Workshop you will find the Interactive Theater. You are known as the Writer, Producer and Director of the current performance. There is a reserved seat for you near to the back of the house where you can see the full-spectrum as it plays out. At any moment you can go onto the stage, position yourself behind the actor playing you, or any other actor and observe the feelings that flow from taking these different positions. You can also be aware of the different emotional states that are busy crayoning the scripts. As you maneuver from the many positions of the actors, your insight grows.
It’s also a good idea to observe some “one man or woman” shows. The more insight you develop about yourself, the better. There is nothing wrong with observing your weaknesses, for without seeing them you cannot change. It’s also important to know that you can change the emotional perceptions by employing self-forgiveness, self-compassion and self-love into any and all productions. No one is perfect and no one is expected to be perfect. Perhaps that’s an affirmation you would like to hang in your theater. Write your scripts to benefit your deepest values and goals, produce and direct with fairness, delivering human kindness to the audiences of your life.

MOVING ON….
In the next chapter you will learn additional Interactive Self-Hypnotic Tools connected to exploring your past, as well as your future on your Life Time-Line.

Lifestyle changes needed for conquering disorderly eating and managing addictions are like taking a journey. First comes the decision, the commitment to the journey, followed by the planning. Next comes the unfolding of experiences. We enjoy some parts, detest others, sit in amazement as the unexpected takes on a life of it’s own. As we look with soft eyes, it is clear that each experience carries with it, the gift of knowledge.

We tend to be asleep more than awake. If we practice waking up more frequently, the number of experiences will mount. Since each experience carries the gift of knowledge, our goal is to stay awake as much as possible, working to unraveling our past experiences along with the new. Of course, looking for the gifts, for they are there in the vault of the subconscious mind.

In the last chapter you set up gardens on your goal-den path. You met up with your Master Gardener, your Higher Self, learned something about weeds, your early belief systems, along with ways to change past self-image and esteem programming. Now you are going to locate old subconscious mind files, filled with all kinds of gifts to help you manage your addiction issues and your life balance. You are also going to design future mind programs to plant in your gardens.

Interactive Awareness and Self-Hypnosis can be utilized in hundreds of creative ways. Throughout this book you have been working with many of these. Now you will experience some of the more creative ones. Keep in mind that each and every moment holds opportunities for practice, including re-programming your subconscious mind. As you begin to truly wake up to this extraordinary power that you have in place, you can become overwhelmed. Therefore it’s a good idea to set some goals for building skill levels, for programming awareness, also for etching new subconscious mind programs.

KNOWLEDGE HOOK

You already know the power of awareness and how key it is to change. There are all levels of awareness, each carrying gifts. Some are small and some are big. Awareness requests are set-up subconsciously. We literally request the mind to make us aware of something t we know will benefit us. For example, you might request the subconscious librarian to make you aware of low-level emotions, thoughts or behaviors that connect to your addiction or disorderly eating. Your subconscious mind will consciously "key" you into these, where you will be able to diminish them right in the moment, then move to re-program your inner files related to these behaviors. You are learning to stop something before it gets out of control for you. Pre-behaviors or prodromals are very important in changing habits, behaviors, as well as automatic pilot programs.

If you have any particular triggers, you might want to request changing your inner files in reference to these. For instance, if your reactions to certain people's behaviors tend to make you tense, you might want to be more aware of these, then work with diminishing and/or re-programming. One does not need to be in a deep trance state to do this work. You can do all of it "right in the moment" if you like.

KNOWLEDGE HOOK - INDUCTION

Induction is nothing more than slowing the brain waves in increments by using a particular deepening system, such as counting backwards, or choosing images that do the same. There are many levels of trance or deep relaxation, each having their own ease of execution and benefits. In short, induction is the route you take to get out of your own way, side-stepping all emotions and judgment, stepping into a place where suggestions are readily accepted by the subconscious mind. If you work with a hypnotist or hypnotherapist, you may be taken even deeper into trance where the therapist is able to access the needed information, but in self-hypnosis you are determining the level where you can affect your own work. If you work with audio it is a bit easier to go deeper down, because even if you fall asleep, your subconscious mind will pick up the suggestions from the recorded program.

You might like to review the chapter on mental biofeedback and practice inducing self-hypnosis with body communication skills. This is particularly effective as a stress-releaser, preparing the mind for the acceptance of suggestion. Whatever the route you choose, do know you are on your way to the tools below.

KNOWLEDGE HOOK

After inducing a self-hypnotic state, you are ready to begin planting subconscious mind programs, also called suggestions. The subconscious mind enjoys organization and so it works to your benefit, assisting you in building special containment metaphors for planting inner programs, as well as editing past and future ones. These containments are useful as well for managing emotional states, locating hidden resources and building resilience. All containments are “user-friendly”. As you welcome them into your consciousness, don’t be surprised if you find them appearing automatically to help manage your life needs.

Exploring the Interactive Self-Hypnosis Workshop

You might like to review this powerful containment at the alpha state. You already know how to reach this slow brain wave state. In the last chapter you began the design of your goal-den path. As you walk down your path and past the gardens, you will see a signpost for your inner workshop. Follow the route and soon you will come upon it. The workshop is a place in your mind where you go to work on yourself. It is a private place and while others are welcome, they only come by your invitation and to work in your behalf. This is especially important for those with addiction who are so used to putting everyone else’s needs first.
Right now see the image of your workshop in your mind’s eye. Build it exactly as you like it. There might be a building or a place in the past that you would like to utilize for this purpose, and that is fine. Sometimes we have a safe place from childhood. For me it is an old barn that sat on the property of my best friend where I could escape the outside world to adventure in my dreams. It was here that I calmed myself while designing my future fantasies. If you don’t have such a place in your memory bank, simply go and build one for yourself right now. You can place it wherever you like, be it at the ocean, high in the mountains, or even in the middle of a city. Whatever meets your fancy is just fine. Choose the structure, color, windows, roof pitch, landscaping, etc. Details, details!

Feel the entrance key in your pocket and open the front door. Look around, noticing the furnishings, floor coverings, windows, collectibles, perhaps plants, books and even toys. Time to lighten up! Walk through the workshop, noticing the details of the different rooms and how comfortable you feel here. In my Workshop I have a big room, a kitchen, a spa bath, several libraries and a board meeting room. You’ll read about these in detail later on.

Look out the window and admire the view. Pay attention to the wild life, the plants, the sky and how the weather is in this moment. Your weather is a great metaphor for your current emotional crayons. Bring in some additional senses. You might tap on the window pane, hearing the tapping sound resonating in your ears. Sit down in one of the chairs, feel the texture of the fabric, how your body positions into the chair and relax deeply. This is a time set aside for you and your work. Enjoy this idea. It’s helpful to bring in some powerful emotional states, especially positive expectancy, wisdom and inner peace. Emotions appear automatically, as well as by request. In this case scenario, do request those that will be skillful in designing inner programming. In the paragraphs below I will be directing you to other parts of your workshop.

Mind Exercise – Accessing Your Wide Screen Television

Everything that you ever experienced is recorded in your subconscious mind in an orderly fashion, but in order to review it you must utilize some sort of a containment or tool. As you become familiar with the workings of Interactive Self-Hypnotic Tools you will be able to call them forward to work in the moment, as well as in deeper trance states. The wide screen television and the VCR are containments for viewing subconscious files. In our work all subconscious files are considered video tapes that are designed for you to readily apply Interactive Awareness and Self-Hypnosis.

On your inner mind screen place an image of your wide screen television. Locate the VCR and the portable hand controls. Notice the shelves holding the tape collections. The shelves on the left are filled with old tapes, including everything you have ever experienced through any of your senses. While these experiences truly happened, they are all recorded in a particular perception. Some perceptions that are not helpful to current goals may benefit from some editing. Old tapes are also great resources for building resilience and power in all types of goals. Resilience is found in past success, as well as in past failures. Interactive self-hypnosis allows you to alter the marinade of any file, often turning it from a de-motivator into a powerful pro-motivator.

The shelves on the right are filled with future video. Some are blank tapes ready for recording. There are also tapes holding new experiences that haven’t happened as yet. Some you have already programmed through the power of expectations, while others are pre-programmed for practicing different possibilities and experiences. Some of your pre-programs may not be based on negative expectation and therefore not in your best interest. It’s very possible that some include expectations of failure in working with your addiction or eating disorder. I’ll be showing you how to locate and edit these for success.

Mind Exercise – Programming Your Inner DVD

Take a few moments and slow your brain waves. Tilt your eyes up about twenty degrees imaging your wide screen television. Even through the image slips on and off your mind screen, your subconscious mind is aware of what you are doing. Begin by choosing an old DVD, perhaps one that has to do with your disorderly eating, bingeing or addiction. Maybe it is an old eating behavior, or a scene where you are with friends and having a difficult time in making healthy choices. Once you locate the video go deeper down into your relaxed state to help enhance your focus. With your eyes tilted up begin to review the tape on your mind screen. See yourself, noticing if you are alone or with others. Listen to the sound track. Observe the happenings, noticing you can focus in on specific areas, as well as slow down the action.

You are the writer, director and producer of each of your productions. Each video in your collection is a production of yours! In Interactive Self-Hypnosis you can stop any and all productions, be they past, future or present, and change them to benefit your desired outcomes.

You may be wondering how you could possibility benefit from something that has already happened. Keep in mind that everything is recorded through perceptions, and all perceptions can be changed to benefit you. For example, every failure can be seen through new eyes, or a change in perception. Let’s say that you are reviewing the experience of a negative eating behavior. You can edit this quite simply by indicating that you were practicing behaviors that you do not want. You can then bring in new actors to demonstrate what you do want, having them work side by side. Make certain that the correct signs are hanging over each actor’s performance! You can take this a step further by making the undesired behavior a black and white boring affair. Paint the desired behavior in bright colors, moving the stage forward into clear view. You have now successfully edited an old mind program and programmed a new, corresponding behavior that is seen as your preferred choice.

It’s just as easy to work with future video programs. In the last section of this book you will have many opportunities to apply these tools in different ways, but for now choose a blank future tape, placing it in the DVD slot. Relax deeply, tilt your eyes up and locate your inner mind screen. Notice you are coming down the path, looking absolutely great. It’s quite obvious that you are healthy, energetic and relaxed. As you notice your details, turn up the sound. You are about to hear yourself speaking to yourself. Listen to all of the wonderful things that have happened since you began managing your addiction several months ago. Perhaps there are things about your health, your relationships, work and even your prosperity. Notice someone else is coming down the path. This individual is somewhat older, but certainly just as healthy and energetic. This is your self from five years in the future, also looking forward to sharing even more wonderful things that have happened since sticking to your new program and lifestyle changes. You can even future pace this further by having another future you appearing on the scene. Later on in this book you will be working more with Interactive Self-Hypnosis Future Pacing Tools.

If you have pre-programmed future outcomes and would like to edit them, follow the same system as you did for past programming. Remember, your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference. Simply direct and produce the outcomes that you desire just as if you already had them in the palm of your hand because that will become your reality.

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

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http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
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