Perhaps the most difficult part of Recovery, at least for me, was the movement from my old patterns into the new ones.I like the image of getting bold enough to stick my toe in the bathwater & then over-reacting to the temperature...ouch...far too hot. I'll have to wait for it to cool down. Of course, the toe belonged to my addictive childSelf & the water would have been just fine, if my Mature Self was in charge. Even IF it were a bit too hot, my Mature Self would have been willing to "adjust." But, adjusting is not in the vocabulary of the Immature addictive childSelf, unless the adjusting is about adjusting to another level of addiction.
The Immature addictive childSelf either lives in the addiction or disorderly behavior OR in the flux of procrastination. "Should I or shouldn't I" is the mantra of procrastination & each time the mantra is repeated, the childSelf "spins", going deeper & deeper into the procrastination hole, each spin making it more difficult to climb out. For me, my procrastination hole was so big that I needed a very tall ladder & a dose of pure motivation from my inner power Sources to boost mySelf up & then to climb the rungs. Movement, be it inner or outer, is Key to Recovery. Moving into the bath or out of the procrastination hole is very significant. When working hypnotically, this movement can be "tagged" with a powerful, positive emotional current, making it even more powerful each time the image is brought forward...which it will be, for make no mistake, jumping back into the hole or back into the bath will happen. The biggest mistake many people make is to believe that once they have "moved forward", there will be no moving back. Wrong. The second biggest mistake is misinterpreting the moving backward as "failure." Wrong again. These movements are simply a part of Recovery & a significant part of building Resilience & growing into a solid Mature Self.
Once out of the bath OR out of the procrastination hole, the "new shoes" await. Most of us are very familiar with the odessey of "new shoes." They look so comfortable on the shelf & when we put them on in the shoe store they look & feel good, but for some reason we don't want to give our old shoes to the salesman for disposal, for life has taught us that the relationship we will be having with our new shoes, is not as it seems. They will turn on us, delivering pain & probably some calluses. We'll have trouble walking & will hunt out our old shoes with that special love & devotion we have for such things. But, a little voice in the background urges us to keep wearing the new shoes & to break them in.
New shoes on, I was now on a very different path to Recovery. Yes, I was to experience aching feet & a few sore toes, but as I progressed with each step, I came to understand WHY the shoes were uncomfortable & WHY the actual discomfort was so important to my long-term health. I'll share some of this with you, but first...
A NOTE TO NEW READERS:
This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.
WHY NEW SHOES HURT & WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM
Over the years, actually decades, I had many many attempts at Recovery, but never was able to stay on the path. One of the reasons was that I didn't understand the ritual of falling, getting up & moving on. I would fall & be picked up by my addictive childSelf who would put my "old shoes" back on my feet, as if I were a child myself, which of course, in that moment I was. One day, I was offered a very special pair of new shoes & although I was "so ready", the childSelf was not ready at all. In fact, she hated the shoes right from the get-go. These shoes were different & came with a new set of rules & regulations, which of course, turned the addictive childSelf off immediately. These new shoes came from the Therapeutic or Mature Self & were putting her on notice that she was not going to be in charge any longer. I remember laughing inwardly at this image, but at the same time, feeling frightened of accepting them. Soon, I came to understand that apprehension was natural & would soon disappear. I also came to understand that even if I tripped or if my feet hurt, this was part of the healing & would benefit me forever...rather like putting gold coins in my new bank account. Yes, I liked that.
Next, I was told to discard the old shoes. This caused a shift similar to stepping into the bathwater, but for some reason, it was somewhat easier. I imagined myself throwing the shoes away in the bottomless garbage can, one that doesn't allow retrieval. This is similar to stopping smoking cold-turkey. I was now free to change, to learn & to Recover. The rules of the shoes were already clear & as I was ready. In the next chapter I'll invite you to step into my new shoes & follow me through some of my adventures.
Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.
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