I had started again so many times that a "fresh start" didn't feel very fresh at all. I noticed how frightened I was, even more so because of my solid commitment. As I relaxed into my fear, I heard the internal voice of my Therapeutic Self & who made it clear that just because I had "new shoes" didn't mean that I was going to do all of this perfectly. In the past when I tripped up, my immature addictive childSelf was waiting for me with my "old shoes." But, this was no longer possible, because there were no more "old shoes" , but my Higher Therapeutic Self would always by my side, just as it was in this moment of uncertainty. With each step I would be experiencing new ways to traverse my Life path.
Yes, I would have to learn to walk through old dark areas & triggers &....I would have to be willing to wash off my "sticky fingers." The art of "being willing" would be Key for me, for in the past my immature childSelf would never have agreed to any of this & there was a part of me that was still internally engaged with that part of me. But, the disengaging of the immature Self would become a very powerful growth tool & one that would take me to high levels of health & performance in other areas of my Life. I was learning that power gained on the Life path was transferrable to other areas, even areas that weren't formed as yet. These were some of the gifts of the "new shoes" & they would be powered by my new-found willingness.
I stepped out on the Life path with my new shoes. Looking to the right & left were invitations to stop & experience. Some areas had signs that sported affirmations, not just words but images inviting me to enter & feel the affirmation in a deeper part of me. "I'm having a fresh start" spoke to me. I climbed the few steps & went inside the affirmation. I was immediately caught up in the feelings of freedom & joy. In the past, fresh starts had made me somewhat uncomfortable, but these old feelings were not present here. I was welcomed by images of nature & those representing my Higher Self, all congratulating me on being here & chatting of the exciting experiences that were ahead of me. I was also introduced to some of my "future Selves" who were delighted with getting this show on the road....once & for all time. This was the last time I was going to start from the beginning, for now, I had the right information, the best motivation & a true connection to my Higher Self & it's companions.
The path was very organized. Disciplines, motivations, inner mirrors & other gifts lined the way & I invite you to walk along with me, but before that...
A NOTE TO NEW READERS:
This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.
STICKY FINGERS & SPECIAL HAND WASHING PROCEDURES
While the Recovery Life path is beautiful & filled with learnings & motivational gifts, there are also tripping stones or triggers. With each day I notice mySelf becoming stronger, but what's interesting is that I still have an attraction to some of my old triggers. My HigherTherapeutic Self tells me that my encounters with these will make me much stronger than before & not to be afraid of this "attraction" which is not an attraction at all, but just my addictive childSelf having a little tantrum as it becomes weaker & weaker. It helps me to think in this way. My Higher Self suggests that when I notice this, that I take the childSelf to the little golden sinks that are located along the path & to wash her sticky fingers of the old trigger residue. This is a self-hypnotic suggestion, telling the subconscious mind that triggers can be removed with this small, but powerful image. The fear emotions that are intertwined with triggers are easily dismantled in this way, allowing the Self to become more confident in the moment. Fear mounts when it appears there is no control, but now the mind & body has control, delivered by the hand washing image.
I have many triggers & each time I take my addictive childSelf to the golden sink, the individual triggers weaken. I find mySelf washing her hands in advance of entering some of my trigger-centers that include the supermarket, passing the pizza place & dessert time at meetings I need to attend. Pre-washing has become a powerful tool for me & I'm learning to apply it in other non-food areas of my life as well, for example when socializing with people who are difficult for me to be around.
Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.
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