Re-Dressing the Addictive ChildSelf

Once I decided to recover from my disorderly issues, my own subconscious mind began showing me an array of things that truly needed to be addressed. I came to know that there was a very big part of me that was hidden, not only from others, but even from mySelf. This part is what I now know as my Addictive childSelf. Although she was always present, she stayed behind the scenes where she was easily ignored & certainly I hid her from others. Being absent from view, you might think that this would have weakened her effect on me, but all this hiding seemed to enhance my anger, guilt & shame, making her even more powerful. My relationship with her was two-faced, for I loved & dispised her at the same time. I imagined her as a pitiful, sad little messy child harboring a dirty face & unkept hair, someone only a mother could love. I wanted to keep her locked up because her behaviors were embarrassing. I was actually fearful that others would come to know this hidden part of me, causing me to lose respect. It took quite a bit of energy to keep her locked away & so I was forced to live behind a pretense mask, presenting me as a balanced professional in all aspects of my life. I tried very hard not to look in the mirror, because this unruly part of me could be seen peering out. She would not let me forget her.

You may wonder how it is possible to hide a part of yourSelf, but it is possible & perhaps you have had your own experience with a part of you that lives behind your scenes. However, in recovery it is so important to become completely "authentic" or whole if you are going to heal. I'm convinced that the Key to managing disorderly eating is not about scale weight, but about being authentic & whole. Living in a relaxed mind & body, sensing your own power, being real, loving yourSelf is all connected to living a healthy, balanced lifestyle. There is no longer a need for compulsive or emotional eating. As the Self comes together in wholeness, there are no more parts hiding behind the bushes, waiting to jump out & be disruptive. Life can be a peaceful journey.

So, we know that this is what we want, but how do we get there? What happens to the disorderly childSelf? In my own recovery I came to understand that the part of me that I was hiding was going to be instrumental in my healing process. I needed her by my side, for she was going to be my catalyst for change. But first, I must bring her out of hiding, ask her forgiveness & promise her unconditional love, for truly she has done nothing wrong. She is simply part of my childSelf who was left on her own with no discipline & no emotional management. As I came to know her, I noticed she resembled my early childSelf, who grew up in a dysfunctional home & carried the very same characteristics. She also carried the heart of my eating issues, for her addiction was her panacea & because she was so needy, she actually became very good at what she needed to do.

Uncanny, but true, the addictive child at my side was perhaps the most powerful part of my being. She would now become whole, transmuting what was negative energy into a positive power source. I'll share some of my hypnotic work in this regard, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

RE-DRESSING THE ADDICTIVE CHILD SELF

Just the idea of not hiding a part of me turned out to be a very freeing experience. Now, I didn't stand on the rooftop & scream out my truth, but I no longer pretended that I was something I was not. I remember the first time I shared some of my dark secrets with my patients & then with my family. By this time, I had been re-establishing my own relationship with my addictive childSelf. I did this mainly through self-hypnotic & meditative channels, but also through automatic journaling. This was a very interesting experience, for the childSelf brought other areas to my attention, things that I never considered being connected to my eating issues. Some of these included areas of my personal life that I had ignored, such as the state of affairs in my clothes closet of all things. In fact, there was plenty of disorder in my life & as I began to see with more clarity through the eyes of this part of me, I came to realize how asleep I've been & for so long.

The child had plenty of complaints as to her own dress & personal appearance. Since she was no longer hidden, it was time to bring some changes to her as well. I soon came to see that these were not just her issues, but mine, for indeed I had closed my eyes in this area as well. Together we cleaned house, made a shopping list, as well as a list of other things that had been missing from our life experience for so long. Yes, disciplines were needed & we worked on these together. I found that she was cooperative & willing to try new things, but she didn't appreciate being pushed into the background without her needs taken into consideration. Some things that were missing had to do with play & some old childhood experiences that were no longer in sight. All of this came forth in our journaling together.

The wisdom of this part of me was a surprise....but why shouldn't she be wise? After all, she'd been around for quite awhile & had witnessed many things from her hiding place...

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Gifts from Future Selves

One thing for sure, maintaining a healthy weight means managing the multiple facets of compulsive, emotional & stress eating & for that one needs a high level of motivation. For me personally, I looked outside of mySelf for this motivation, often expecting someone to jump in & save me from my disorderly eating. But, since much of it was a secret, there was no one to jump in. For me, this was very frightening, because I was afraid of my own Self. I remember thinking, that if left alone, it would be possible for me to kill mySelf with food. One day I made a list of all the foods I would be willing to eat that day IF I were alone with no one to stop me. Reading that list was a very uncomfortable peak into my true addictive Self.

Now, I was taking a new approach & had commited myself to being on the Path. My old shoes were gone & I was breaking in the new ones, but even in the new shoes, I needed more than Knowledge to keep going forward, especially in the world in which I existed. I was very much alone with my changes & even if I wanted others to motivate me, few were up to that task as they were so unmotivated themselves. I came to realize that I lived in a world of disorderly eaters, even those who lived in denial, convincing themselves that they had healthy habits. Their focus was achieving & keeping a low scale weight, no matter what the price. I knew I would not walk that path again...ever.

So, what were my options to stay the course? Much has been written about "outer motivation", but little about "inner motivation." I remember wishing that I had a personal coach who would follow me around, whispering positive affirmations in my ear, as I walked through the many destructive triggers on my life path. I was immediately reminded that I was always looking for something more, while I already had everything I needed. I just needed to practice being awake & aware. We wake up through the desire to be awake & then learn to pay attention to our thoughts & the images that accompany them. We learn that thoughts & images can be changed. Images are small subconscious mind programs that when fused with high level emotions, become motivational catalysts.

In the last chapter I was delighted to be introduced to the image of the magical rock garden. There I was to communicate with my past Selves who were happy to re-introduce me to my past inner strengths & the power that I had available to me. I remember wondering if there were other areas on the Path that could provide the same & once again, before the question was formulated, the answer was presented to me. Just as I have past Selves, I also have a large array of future Selves, going right up to my most powerful future Self, the one at the extreme end of the path. This was my "end of life" Self who had all the answers, as well as all the plans leading up to the answers.

In the beginning, I was horrified with the idea of looking into my future, for getting old was not high on my list, but in this series of images, I was soon to experience some of my most powerful inner motivators. Let's review something first. There are two ways to motivate the Self....going towards something positive....or away from something negative. The latter is better known as fear motivation. In other words, "do as I say, or you will experience something very terrible...like death." I firmly believe that you get what you think about & so I was not a fan of fear-based motivation. I remained very curious about my future Selves, especially my oldest Self, wondering how any of them could possibly motivate me without using fear tactics.

As I began my journey into the imagery of my future Selves, I was already aware that there were very special tools for these inner creative beings. I'll take you into my experience in a moment, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

RESILIENT GIFTS FROM THE FUTURE SELVES

Regression & future pacing shouldn't be so mysterious. Each time we look at a photo album we become involved with our past Selves & each day we look in the mirror, visiting an older Self who yesterday existed as a future Self. We also talk about these future Selves, thinking how that ice cream will put weight on us. The results of that ice cream are being delivered to our future Selves & not just one of them, but many of them. The more deliveries, the more problems for our Selves down the Path. As I travel down my future Path, messages are delivered to me by the entities that exist there. Strangely enought, these messages are not the same ones that I hear in my consciousness. Instead, these are positive affirmations, accompanied by images on signposts. This is the beauty of practicing Interactive Self-Hypnosis or imaginology.

I can image my oldest Self who lives at the end of the Path, encouraging me to come forward. The fear I anticipated is magically removed, as I drift along, as if my feet weren't needed to move me. She is in the Light & I find her very loving, welcoming & without judgment. She has a sense of humor & I find mySelf smiling in her presence. She tells me that "everything turned out just perfectly." I had done a wonderful job in cleaning & clearing my life & had learned the most important life lesson, that I was in charge of my own life & therefore my own choices. Others were simply life students who shared life with me, but who were not "me", nor were they in charge of "me." As I became more self-responsible, bringing daily changes into my life, each of them became healthier. They then passed their health onto the next older Self. My Self of today actually "gifted" each of them. She asked me to look down the Path towards my today Self, so I could actually visualize the piles of gifts on the future Path. Some of these were healthy food baskets from each meal, exercise, stress managing with meditation & positive affirmations....so many gifts, all delivered by mySelf to these powerful women in my life. Becoming aware & realizing the impact of my daily actions would perform as rebound motivation, as each future Self responded back to me as each gift was received.

She touched my hand, allowing me to feel the collective energy of who I am & what I'm about.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers