Negative Treasure Troving

I started my emotional eating behaviors at a very early age & most likely, will have them forever. Whenever I share this with others, especially my patients, they are disappointed, believing that since I'm a therapist, I should have been able to "rid mySelf" of these. What they are really saying is that if a therapist couldn't change emotional eating behaviors, then there is no hope for them. While, on the surface, that seems to be the truth, there is an upside to this, for there are some benefits hidden underneath what appears to be a negative.

Here we are practicing "interactive self-hypnosis." Our goal is to get underneath the problem, for that is where the cleaning needs to happen & that is where the answers reside. So, while I'm not a fan of my emotional eating issues, I'm happy to have the opportunity to go even further underneath them, because the debris that is there is not about eating, but about other things. In this instance the desire to eat emotionally is actually actually an catalyst of energy for opening further into my subconscious mind. Through the years I've been able to dig up lots of "negative treasure"...& each time I'm able to do this, I free myself even further from the part of my past that has blocked me in other areas of my life. Most of that negative treasure is connected to self-image & self-esteem issues that have bothered my relationships with others, as well as my relationship with mySelf. These negative treasures have kept me locked up creatively, for indeed, one cannot be truly creative with locks on the doors.

I'm going to invite you to look over my shoulder as I work with some current emotional eating issues that actually popped up today, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

FINDING & EXCAVATING TREASURES

If you follow my writing, you know that I like to utilize automatic journaling & I have a need to do just that today. Each time a negative behavior or habit surfaces, you have the opportunity to treasure trove. Let me break this activity into sections so it's easier to understand. First, you come to notice the thought or desire to eat for emotional reasons. This is easy to know because if it's not meal time or if you change your menu to something less healthy, you know that your emotional eating issue has clicked in. Now that you are "aware", the next thing to do is to "release". This means moving out of the "circus of the world" & into the Golden Egg. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to go back & read the earlier chapters of the book. All releasing of mind & body tension is done inside the Golden Egg or place of meditation. Here you are also in direct communication with your Higher Self & Therapeutic Self. Sometimes the tension related to the emotional eating is higher than other times, so the amount of time needed for releasing may change. For my issues today, I needed to remove myself from the kitchen & go into my office. I ended up sitting in my Golden Egg for about five minutes, which is quite a long time. However, this also told me that I was going to dig up some very valuable "treasure."

Once you have released sufficiently & you will know this intuitively, then you are ready to "treasure trove." You cannot excavate treasure before releasing or half releasing. In other words, you can't cheat. The subconscious mind will not let you. When I'm releasing, especially in a situation like I faced today, I had my automatic journal under my hands. I imaged each releasing breath going down my arms, through my hands & into the actual journal. I was making it clear to my subconscious mind that I wanted to "treasure trove". My creative mind was opening with each breath & already knowing my desires. When I felt comfortable regarding my releasing, I opened my journal & began communicating with my Higher Self, Therapeutic Self & Inner Mentors or Coaches.

"Thank you for being here for me. I sense mySelf underneath the emotions that were pulling me towards releasing through food. I am open to receiving knowledge about why I was being pulled today & especially with such a vengeance. I haven't felt this degree of pulling in a very long time & I would like to dig up the reasons for this. Please give me the directions to do this." I sit quietly & just let my questioning find it's place. I do not demand or make any further effort. I know that the answers I'm seeking will be forthcoming, either now or later today, but they will come because I have asked in the proper way. I am relaxed & open for receiving. This is all that is asked of me. The timing is up to the subconscious mind or Higher Self. I don't receive any answers right now & I accept this. I wait for a bit & then return to my daily activity.

I'm washing the dishes, running the warm water over my hands while scaping the plates. Silence is around me & I'm at peace with mySelf. Visiting images enter my mind. My own need to be clear of debris. Putting things back to order & finding a new balance for a variety of things that I cannot change; things that I'm frightened about. I can go into each of these fearful images & bring them to the light. I haven't been doing that & so they have accumulated & festered in the fearful marinade I've allowed to be. Some of these images are very big, having to do with illness, death & the dying process. I have a huge room in my subconscious mind for these fears, since my father died unexpectedly when I was a young child, so this room has been activated & is very connected to high level emotions that want to be fed with food. I know this consciously, but the tending must be done meditatively or in self-hypnosis. I return to my automatic writing journal & do what is necessary. As I clear this big negative treasure, I understand mySelf on a new level & can therefore care for mySelf on a new level. Yes, it was a very big treasure & I am grateful.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers.com

It's So Unfair!

The cookie aisle is my favorite place in the supermarket, or at least it used to be. When I was very ill & knocking at the door of diabetes, I realized that I had to stop eating certain foods, cookies being one of them. But, I was not to be left in peace, for whenever I wnet down that aisle, my immature childSelf began screaming & begging. "Why me? Can't I have just one? How come other people can have these & I can't?" Then came the bargaining & creative manipulation, "If we get one package, we can share it. I only want to look at the packages. Some of these are healthier than others. How about getting some that are not chocolate?" And then, the tears, "This is so unfair! How long do I have to wait until I can have cookies?" On & on....to be repeated in the cereal & ice cream aisles, making shopping a very exhausing experience. If you recognize these scenarios, then you know what it is to have an addictive childSelf.

The mature part of me did understand the seriousness of my health issues, but the immature part would not leave me in peace, especially during certain times of day. The ride home from work was one of those, the reason being that it was old binge pattern time for me. Then, came the cleaning of the plates after dinner. I was the human garbage can & of course, that had to stop. Once out of the kitchen, the addictive childSelf left me alone until I sat down to relax. Then, it started all over again. There were times when I simply went to bed early because I could no longer deal with the compulsive thoughts that ran around in my head. But, even on those nights, it was not uncommon for me to wake up around 2 AM with the demands all over again. These were especially difficult to manage because I was half-asleep & the desires to binge seemed bigger in the dark.

All compulsive/emotional eaters have their own very specific "patterns of difficulty." Over the years I've been able to disengage a good number of these, some with more ease than others. I was able to reason with my childSelf in some regards, but not in others. I also began to notice that the unrelenting childSelf carried these behaviors into other areas of my life, for example in the area of alcohol consumption, shopping & exercise aversion. Once you begin to observe this part of yourSelf & we all have it to some degree, it's very interesting to watch the level of cunningness & creativity of this part of the mindSelf. In a way, it has to be admired, because it never, ever seems to give up & never backing down no matter what. Once I realized the overwhelming power of this part of mySelf & the seriousness of not getting it under control, I knew that I had to design some subconscious mind programs that would become new automatic pilot discipline programs. I'm going to tell you about some of them here, but first...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

MIND SPEAK - SOMETIMES IT IS IN YOUR HEAD

Once the body physiology is in balance, then the rest of the problems sit with the mind programs or habits, as we know them. But, what I'm describing here is more than a habit. It's an ongoing mind-debate between the precocious immature childSelf & the mature, Therapeutic Self. The only reason this is going on is because the Therapeutic Self has allowed it & this is a sign of weakness. When the Therapeutic Self is weak, then the immature childSelf is stronger. A weak Therapeutic Self will never win a debate with a strong-willed childSelf. So, the object of the exercise is to strengthen the Therapeutic Self & this is accomplished through the development of a specific discipline program.

Once the discipline program is designed, the most important thing is to be consistent & persistent. If this sounds like training a child or even a dog, you are right. There is little difference. Let's talk for a moment about what the mature Self knows about the disorderly eating issues & this business of "unfairness." Now, I'm not talking to the immature Self. That part doesn't care a hoot about any of this, but the mature Self does. The Mature Self knows in the depths of it's soul that every time a bad habit is practiced, the habit not only becomes stronger, but another step is taken towards a killer disease. Please underline that truth. Once again, do know that the immature childSelf doesn't care, so don't waste your time arguing your point.

Here's the simple KEY. You must decide what you are not going to discuss with your immature Self. For me, there is never, ever a cookie discussion. Not one word. When the idea/thought appears in the mind, it is X'd out...completely disallowed. I utilize the image of a white screen. It's "as if" I never heard the comments. Whiting out is not the same as ignoring. Whiting out is making something disappear without any consideration or emotion. Again, underline this. No emotion; none whatsoever. Here are some other areas I don't "entertain." Discussions about cake, cookies, candy, going to the gym, buying pizza on the way home from work, car bingeing, night bingeing, ice cream purchasing, or choosing restaurants with an unhealthy menu. I also don't allow any thoughts regarding wishing for bigger portion sizes or heavy-handed bartenders. Not one bit of a thought about any of those subjects...As for "unfairness", my mature Self knows that no one gets away "free" & sad, but true, the piper will always be paid. As for my immature Self, other people's choices are not our business. Period.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers.com

Undressing Cravings

No one likes to experience cravings & that certainly includes me. Not only can they be physically uncomfortable, but they can also be very emotionally draining. While cravings or hot compulsive desires can be non-food or beverage related, here we're dealing the latter & for now, we'll excuse alcoholic beverages from the discussion. If you're reading this book, you already know that I have a cookie issue, but it doesn't stop there. Most of my cravings are carbohydrate-related & can be binge-attached or not, depending on the intensity of my emotional states. Anyway, one thing for sure, for me there is no such thing as one cookie. I've had specific food cravings for as long as I can remember, some of them being extremely intense, enough to get me into my car & off to the supermarket, even at odd hours. If the market is open, it is fair-game. In the past, whenever we moved, I always checked out which stores were opened the latest, just in case I needed them. Sound like the behavior of an addict? Yes, it is. I used to call this set of finely tuned behaviors, my "addiction-prevention program."

When I was old enough to notice my compulsive & emotional eating issues, I tried not to pay attention to this unbalanced part of me. I preferrred to hang out with my seemingly normal & professional Self. I considered the other part to be both disgusting & frightening. There was even a time in my life when I believed that I could/would kill myself with food. I simply couldn't understand, nor could I stop my out of control eating behaviors. The more I tried, the worse they became. I remember ordering several pizzas for mySelf & when they were delivered, I pretended to call my whole family to the dining room so the delivery man wouldn't know. I've done the same at fast food restaurants, at night in the ice cream container & of course, in supermarkets where no one ever knows who is going to eat what.

Why would someone do this? We already know about the reasons for secret eating, but there are other considerations regarding cravings, with or without bingeing. As I came to understand this, my secret world opened wide enough for me to step out to a completely different place. I'll share this with you in just a moment, but first...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

BODY SPEAK - IT'S NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD

Today I step out of my dark eating place, knowing that I have a physiological imbalance that is causing a major part of my cravings. Since these have been going on for my whole life, it's obvious why I'm so happy. I realize that there are probably some underlying emotional issues to the cravings, but to have them diminished is a true gift to me. This imbalance has a big name...hyperinsulinemia. It simply means that my pancreas is over-producing insulin in response to the foods I'm eating OR not eating. Because of this, I've also developed something called insulin resistance, which means that my cell receptors are blocked & the insulin that is produced by my pancreas can't burn the stored fat, therefore causing my blood sugars to drop. No wonder I've been feeling so ill! I've been on my way to developing diabetes!

There are parts of me that are delighted with this news, but strangely enough, not all parts. Can you believe it? There are parts of me that don't want to change the way I'm eating. How destructive is that? So, they would rather kill me than have me give up all the junk, bingeing & sugaring? It's a stunning revelation for me to know this part of mySelf & especially how strong it is. I feel like I'm wrestling with superman. I remember reading that's it's best to know your enemy, but how can I be my own enemy?

My Higher Self is here to help me understand. First, I must relax & practice letting go. OK...golden egg time. Once I'm in this place, I can look out & see the childSelf that is having a temper tantrum over the changes that need to take place. That part isn't bad, just mis-guided. It's thinking that I'll never be able to do it, but mainly that the fun is over. It's been found out! It's angry & sad at the same time. It's depressed & furious, but also very frightened, not knowing what will happen next.. I now know that I've been ignoring the true needs of mySelf & instead, have been using food & unhealthy beverages to meet those needs. As I begin to change my food choices & follow the rules of managing hyperinsulinemia, the cravings will diminish & I can meet my emotional/psychological needs in different ways.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers.com

New Paint & Wallpaper

Our minds are divided into separate areas, just like rooms in a house. Each room has a specific purpose & is decorated following the dictates of our thoughts & emotions. Even if you don't remember OKing the interior decor, you have done so by not disagreeing with the presented thoughts or emotions. Earlier in this book we built some Pods. These are purposeful rooms & as we go further, we'll built some additional ones, but right now, we're working inside our Automatic Journal, reviewing the decor of some rather big rooms that were established very early on in life. The particular room we are in right now actually belongs to me. It's my major "secret room" & in the last chapter you found me cleaning & clearing some of the pictures on the wall that are no longer useful to me, at least in this room. I've already shared with you the purpose of my secret. We all have secrets & each one does have a reason for being. Sometimes they are there for protection & other times to help us feel whole or balanced, even though they tend to leave us more unbalanced than before. My food addictions were a very temporary saving grace during the difficult times of my life. Then, they became habitual, presenting themselves as saviors for all sorts of experiences. The end result was that they brought me to the door of diabetes, one of the major killer diseases. Lucky for me, I was able to wake-up in time to be able to turn around & head down the path towards health.

Earlier on I mentioned that it's a good idea to transmute or change the decor of a big, old room such as an early secret. That way, should the subconscious mind return to it on "auto-pilot", new, healthy programming will be in place, thereby greeting you with very different behaviors. I'll take you back into my personal Automatic Writing Journal so you can observe me doing this, but first...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

JOURNAL SPEAK ENTRY 1991

I've put many of the pictures away...those that were stimulating my secret & disorderly eating. Those memories are powerful for me, but I need to utilize them in a more resourceful way. That is what resilience is all about. I've survived those memories & have become stronger because of them. I'm considering hanging them in a Pod I'm designing that is specific for "power & resilience." But, for now, that wall in here is clear & ready for new paint & wallpaper. I've asked the children, teens & adults who were frequent visitors to the "secret" to help me to choose some of the decorations. I'm surprised that some do not want to participate, preferring to stay in the old, sad & cluttered place. I've been told that this is a part of their Recovery & to respect it. They are fearful of the unknown & will need to come to it more gradually. However, once the room has changed, they will become accustomed to it & before long, will treat this as their new normal environment. I can accept that.

The wallpaper I've chosen is sunny & bright, bring flowers & other images of nature to the surroundings. I also have new photographs for the wall. Some are of happy moments from my past. I especially like remembering my wedding, the birth of my sons & travels to lands far away. One of my childSelves has brought images of roller skating, sleigh riding & playing the clarinet in the orchestra. There is plenty of space for more & as time passes, I'm sure more parts of mySelf will participate. So, we now have a new secret place...rather like a clubhouse....private, safe & secure, but most of all, healthy.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers.com