No one likes to experience cravings & that certainly includes me. Not only can they be physically uncomfortable, but they can also be very emotionally draining. While cravings or hot compulsive desires can be non-food or beverage related, here we're dealing the latter & for now, we'll excuse alcoholic beverages from the discussion. If you're reading this book, you already know that I have a cookie issue, but it doesn't stop there. Most of my cravings are carbohydrate-related & can be binge-attached or not, depending on the intensity of my emotional states. Anyway, one thing for sure, for me there is no such thing as one cookie. I've had specific food cravings for as long as I can remember, some of them being extremely intense, enough to get me into my car & off to the supermarket, even at odd hours. If the market is open, it is fair-game. In the past, whenever we moved, I always checked out which stores were opened the latest, just in case I needed them. Sound like the behavior of an addict? Yes, it is. I used to call this set of finely tuned behaviors, my "addiction-prevention program."
When I was old enough to notice my compulsive & emotional eating issues, I tried not to pay attention to this unbalanced part of me. I preferrred to hang out with my seemingly normal & professional Self. I considered the other part to be both disgusting & frightening. There was even a time in my life when I believed that I could/would kill myself with food. I simply couldn't understand, nor could I stop my out of control eating behaviors. The more I tried, the worse they became. I remember ordering several pizzas for mySelf & when they were delivered, I pretended to call my whole family to the dining room so the delivery man wouldn't know. I've done the same at fast food restaurants, at night in the ice cream container & of course, in supermarkets where no one ever knows who is going to eat what.
Why would someone do this? We already know about the reasons for secret eating, but there are other considerations regarding cravings, with or without bingeing. As I came to understand this, my secret world opened wide enough for me to step out to a completely different place. I'll share this with you in just a moment, but first...
A NOTE TO NEW READERS:
This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.
BODY SPEAK - IT'S NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD
Today I step out of my dark eating place, knowing that I have a physiological imbalance that is causing a major part of my cravings. Since these have been going on for my whole life, it's obvious why I'm so happy. I realize that there are probably some underlying emotional issues to the cravings, but to have them diminished is a true gift to me. This imbalance has a big name...hyperinsulinemia. It simply means that my pancreas is over-producing insulin in response to the foods I'm eating OR not eating. Because of this, I've also developed something called insulin resistance, which means that my cell receptors are blocked & the insulin that is produced by my pancreas can't burn the stored fat, therefore causing my blood sugars to drop. No wonder I've been feeling so ill! I've been on my way to developing diabetes!
There are parts of me that are delighted with this news, but strangely enough, not all parts. Can you believe it? There are parts of me that don't want to change the way I'm eating. How destructive is that? So, they would rather kill me than have me give up all the junk, bingeing & sugaring? It's a stunning revelation for me to know this part of mySelf & especially how strong it is. I feel like I'm wrestling with superman. I remember reading that's it's best to know your enemy, but how can I be my own enemy?
My Higher Self is here to help me understand. First, I must relax & practice letting go. OK...golden egg time. Once I'm in this place, I can look out & see the childSelf that is having a temper tantrum over the changes that need to take place. That part isn't bad, just mis-guided. It's thinking that I'll never be able to do it, but mainly that the fun is over. It's been found out! It's angry & sad at the same time. It's depressed & furious, but also very frightened, not knowing what will happen next.. I now know that I've been ignoring the true needs of mySelf & instead, have been using food & unhealthy beverages to meet those needs. As I begin to change my food choices & follow the rules of managing hyperinsulinemia, the cravings will diminish & I can meet my emotional/psychological needs in different ways.
Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.
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