Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Recovery from disorderly eating means changing many things, not just one. In the past, all I thought that I had to change was my diet, but I was very wrong. I remember the day I realized this & it was just like lightening struck me between the eyes. Quite honestly, I was very frightened. I remember thinking," if I wasn't successful in changing my diet, how was I going to change all the things that I knew had to be changed?" The answer to this question was like a stone that dropped at my feet.A very rude awakening. "Do it or die" the inner voice said. "Oh... OK", was my automatic response. I still remain surprised that I didn't follow my usual pattern of questioning & defending. Instead there was no discussion, no argument. It was settled as simply as that. Part of me hoped that I had turned a corner & the rest would be just as comfortable.
But, this is not the way life is for we need the lessons in order to grow & mature. I remember becoming very still, most likely because I had little idea where to go from "do it or die". But, because I didn't argue, I soon learned that this was the key to being rewarded & I would receive all the help I needed. I came to understand that is what happens when you simply stop fighting. It's called acceptance & this state of mind opens the communication to & from the Higher or Creative Self.
Through the years, as an RN & therapist, I've dropped many stones at the feet of patients, most of them still arguing & obstinate. Not all of my patients have eating disorders. However, in the realm of getting well, everything seems to be connected to a lack of discipline & a desire to be right at all costs. Getting patients to put down the gauntlet & instead, to come into acceptance & discipline is interesting to observe. Once discipline is placed on the life path, other issues seem to line up as well, bringing joy to life, even in the face of illness.
If you've been reading along with me, you already know that my eating issues had become very serious & I soon came to understand that building a set of disciplines would only be a part of what I needed to do. But, before I could do that, I needed to know what I truly wanted, not in just one area, but in all areas. While this may sound rather obvious, it is often the part that is left out of the mix & in the past this is what led me to fail. What one truly desires needs to be very clear & well defined. It also needs to be emotionalized. One needs to get inside the specific desire to feel connected to the emotions. This is the basis of goal-setting. Missing out on specific details, makes it much more difficult for the subconscious or creative mind to build the motivational plan & so if one trips even slightly, one can get stranded on the path to nowhere. This is not a good place to be.
In the world of disorderly eating motivations need to be strong & this comes from high level goal definitions. Luckily, most days we follow life patterns, making it easier to define our images & manage our emotions. In my self-work, I found it enjoyable to build "goal-den bricks" that would build on each other. Since I never had a good foundation, I found it best to start from the beginning, just as I would if building a new house. I'll take you through the design of some of my bricks. Perhaps this will give you some good ideas for your own that will work within your life patterns. But first I'd like to welcome new readers...
A NOTE TO NEW READERS:
This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.
GOAL-DEN BRICK BUILDING
I found it useful & still do, to design my bricks inside a very special leather bound book. This book really exists & sits on my desk. Writing in long-hand is much better than typing on a computer screen. I think this is because it takes so much longer to get the ideas on the paper, giving the subconscious mind the opportunity to converse without rushing. It seems like we're always rushing.
As I mentioned earlier, I was without a sound foundation in relation to my eating behaviors. I literally had no discipline, eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I was a binge eater, a walk-by eater, a secret eater & an imbalanced eater. I rarely thought of what my body needed & when I had dieted in the past, my focus was only on what foods to take out or to deny myself & never on what foods to put into my daily intake. The first brick I needed was one of very clear definition that focused on the exact foods that my body required, whether I liked them or not. I came to realize that I really didn't dislike most of the foods I needed, but they were too much trouble to put together & I really did prefer to eat pizza, sandwiches & other assortments of fast foods. As I studied this brick, I came to realize that I could eat the foods I liked, but I had to improve the ingredients. This meant that I had to spend time planning, organizing & preparing. I also came to notice that I didn't treat mySelf very well. I ate standing up, while walking, talking or watching TV or playing on the computer. Observing mySelf inside my brick was unpleasant. I decided to stop all of that & brought a proper china plate, silverware & a crystal goblet to my workplace. Of course, others were quite amused with my behavioral changes, but I really didn't care. I was on a mission & I'm still on that mission.
Visiting inside this major foundation brick I'll show you my meal clock, my beautiful plastic containers, my cookbooks & organizing area. Happy emotions hang out here & accompany me to the supermarket & specialty stores. You will not find any negativity in this area, or in any other goal-den brick. Everything here is about designing the most perfect life I can for mySelf & in so doing, for others around me. When we come back, I'll take you into other adjoining bricks that form my life foundation & then we can travel up to some newer areas that were made possible because of the great foundation I've built & I hope by now you know that you can do so as well.
Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.