Sunday, October 11, 2009
Working with your own inner aspects is truly empowering. Life mySelf, many of my clients arrive at my office fearful of their eating, sugar or carbohydrate addiction. Often, it is linked to other addictions or chaotic, disorderly living, making recovery seem almost impossible. When I met up with Emma, she presented herSelf as a frightened & overwhelmed chidSelf, not the mature woman who ran her own business. This idea of herSelf positioned her in the middle of the roads going towards disease. These fears culminated in the form of a big, black cloud encompassing all of her. Sitting on my "therapeutic chair", Emma was very tentative, revealing just some of her fears & secrets, as if just telling about them would be very dangerous, perhaps punishing her for letting them out.
I'm very familiar with these types of stress-producing mind games. In the past, they were enough to send me straight to the peanut butter jar or ice cream container. It always amazed me how those two particular foods acted like drugs, relaxing me while chasing away the mind monsters. I remember experiencing the dicotomy of wanting & not wanting to recover. As much as I wanted to be healthy, it was simply too frightening. I felt safe inside my addiction where I believed the stories the addiction told me. But, I wasn't safe & will never, ever be safe inside my eating addictions & that's why I've named this book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" The answer is the same as it is for peanut butter, ice cream, chips or whatever is the presenting addiction of the day...there will never be enough to make me happy, safe, balanced or anything else. There is nothing for me inside my addiction. It's just an empty room with bars on the window, with a sound system laughing at me.
Throughout this book I share stories from my patient files, as well as some of my own truths. I never back away from telling my own stories, because I believe that is the purpose of them...to encapsulate learning experiences to help others. It took me decades to get my head on straight in relation to my eating issues & so, I have plenty to share. And, while sharing is a healthy thing to do, the most important part is "how to" change the multitude of things that need to be changed in any addiction.
Addictions are multi-faceted & each facet is actually a Mind Story unto itself. While you can learn & change from listening to my stories & those of my patients, the most powerful stories are already present in your own subconscious mind, waiting to be opened. When a story is opened & you visit inside the pages, you will be rewarded with "hidden treasure." Those treasures are the things you need for your own healing. Some of them will be directly related to your weight or eating issues, but others will be indirectly connected, perhaps even presenting themselves as not being connected, but indeed they will be, for everything is connected.
Sometimes we are afraid to go inside & to look. Have you ever seen a shy child, looking at you from behind her hands. This is the very same part of you that is fearful of what you will see inside the book, but these are the very things that hold the power of your healing. While you might want to work with a therapist, for most of us, we can move past this by disassociating from the child-state & moving into the powerful states of teacher, parent or healer.
There are many different images to utilize for this type of subconscious mind work. For me, I like to take my child-Self by the hand as I sense mySelf inside Higher or Creative/Therapeutic Self, reminding me that the reason I am here on the face of the Earth is to be healthy, to heal & then to bring healing to others. Here we are "not" the child, but the "Higher or Therapeutic Self", a separate being. This is a powerful, sensory image & I'll lend to you if you like. Notice that I'm taking my childSelf along for the learning journey. My goal is to help her to mature by releasing those negative, blocking emotions of fear, guilt & shame. I've taken off her "I can't" shirt. She now wears her " I Am" shirt. I want that strong inner part of me to transmute the maturity & self-confidence of my Higher Self to the smaller & needy childSelf. As she heals, so do my older Selves, right up to the present & into the future.
We'll work more with these images, but first I'd like to welcome new readers..
A NOTE TO NEW READERS:
This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.
"The moment I stepped out of my childSelf, I felt a sense of true release. It became clear to me that I traveled in & out of the child part me as I traveled throughout my day. I was looking forward to uncovering the different facets of my life that were "taken over" by my Child, because knowing how to disassociate, I could then move to my Higher, Creative Self & clean up my life. This inner work was allowing me to look below the surface of my binge & disorderly eating.
BELOW THE SURFACE
I must be honest. I do feel fear at exploring the facets of these issues. I've decided not to use the image of "below the surface", but instead to walk down a beautiful pathway, filled with gardens on each side as Elizabeth suggested. Everything here is of benefit to me & I've learned to sit outside each garden before entering, filling mySelf with light & healing. My weight & disorderly issues began in early childhood & I've always been a fearful person. I'm realizing that each area I enter will need light to disperse the fear that connects to the roots. I see/think myself as a delivery system for the light, rather like a magnificent marble fountain. As I enter separate gardens/facets, I sit quietly, then weed. Next comes the delivery of light. I can sense the release...sometimes big, but often small. I accept what I'm given, knowing that these are the gifts of healing that I've been looking for. There are children in this garden & I enjoy playing with them. I ask them questions & they tell me things I've wondered about. We are uncovering & discovering. New plants in the image of "what I want" are ready to be placed in the warm soil. In the days that follow, I'm keenly aware & energized to change different aspects, knowing the gifts are showing themselves.
Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.