Friday, November 27, 2009
The four steps of this program are equally important, but the order of progression is also important. Disorderly eating is like any other disorder or mess, and we get out of this in the same way. First we wake up, and then we bring organization to all of the facets.
Disorderly eating rarely lives alone. When one area of a life is in disarray, you won’t have to look far to find another. Disorder and stress go hand in hand, bringing imbalance to the mind and body. Addictions become the easy answer for managing the discomfort. We can grow to like, even love them, and like other bad relationships, they can consume us. It is important to understand that while we may have genetic tendencies towards addictions, we do have choices in the matter. We can choose to stop and new behaviors will begin.
Changing disorderly life patterns and addictions means giving up those dangerous relationships while managing stress in new ways. This is where most people make their mistake when looking to stop smoking, drinking, bingeing, etc. First order of business is to have a very good stress management program in place, one that includes the four steps of this program.
Managing emotions is key to managing addictions and disorder. From the time you were born, you have been developing your own brand of emotional-patterning. Some of the patterns have been heavily etched and are super-automatic. You may have mentored some of these from others, especially when you were very young and more sponge-like. At that time of life you absorbed everything, even if you didn't like it or agree to it. A good exercise is to become aware of what you dislike, or what annoys you about your parents or siblings, then look for those in yourself. You can do the same exercise with your significant other relationship, or your relationship with your children. Try the same mind game with your work relationships. They will be there as well. It's not uncommon to be blind to one's own patterns, as well as to the emotional states that automatically attach to them.
Once a negative pattern has been self-embedded, it must to be removed subconsciously. If not, the pattern will have a tendency to adhere to other experiences "in the moment" or even to future experiences.. Suppose you are thinking about meeting someone you know. You have a history of being annoyed with this person's idiosyncrasies. In your present thoughts, your emotional state crayons are already engaged, coloring your expectations. Even if that person isn't demonstrating the irksome traits in the real-time meeting, you will probably find yourself in your old programmed mind-state anyway, responding “as if” there were.
Let's work with a different future-paced example. Suppose you are going on vacation. On the last vacation you had difficulty adjusting to a non-working relaxed state, finding the vacation finished before you really began enjoying yourself. Even though your current vacation is not for some time, you are already anticipating this, probably playing it in the theater of your mind. This is a special kind of mind program called a negative expectation. If you play this over and over, you will actually pre-program enhanced mind and body tension. Other negative emotions may choose to join in with their negative color crayons. The chances of an enjoyable vacation is becoming slimmer with each negative mind-etching.
Working with emotional states is a skill just like anything else. We have emotions that work in a positive way for us, and others that don’t. These are often called negative emotions, but it’s important to keep in mind that even negative ones also have their good points and can be useful in certain situations. You’ll come to also have their good points and can be useful in certain situations. You’ll come to understand that these emotions can help to open the subconscious mind through releasing.
When looking at emotional states it’s a good idea to know that there are hundreds of them. Few people can name more than twenty. . Some emotions are experienced as having negative high-power such as anger. You also have positive high-powered emotions as well, for example ecstasy could be considered in that group. You also have negative lower-powered emotions, for example annoyance and on the positive side you might consider the emotion of being pleasant. Sometimes the momentary experience is about the choice of emotion and other times it’s about the intensity of the crayoning.
Interactive awareness practice helps you to see the details and what is truly unfolding in the moment. How good are your self-observation skills? While most of us can name or describe our high-powered positive and negative emotions, most of us fall short when it comes to the lower-powered ones. This is most unfortunate because these are the emotions that hang around more frequently, coloring daily experiences, and are usually the ones responsible for stress related diseases and interfering with goal achievement. We often call them our personality traits, often believing that they can’t be changed because “they are who we are.” This in itself conjures up some interesting images. For example, what would happen if one’s anger, resentment and failure programs were diminished or removed? Would they evaporate? This is a living example of how “nonsense language” finds it’s way into our subconscious mind programs.
Here are some others that might live in your crayon box....
abandoned accepted affectionate afraid
alarmed amazed angry annoyed
anxious appreciative apprehensive approval
ashamed aware balanced balmy
belittled belligerent bitter bored
bottled up burning calm capable
competent clinging confident conflicted
confused contented contracted crushed
defeated deluded depressed desolate
desperate despondent discouraged disinterested
disparate dissatisfied dispassionate distressed
ecstatic elated embarrassed empty
envious energetic enthusiastic euphoric
equal excited exhilarated fearful
free friendly frustrated furious
futile generous grateful greedy
guilty happy hateful helpless
hopeless horny humble humiliated
hurt identify inadequate incompetent
inflamed insecure insignificant inspired
jazzed jealous joyful limited
lonely longing loved loving
moral mindful miserable misunderstood
needed negative neglected nervous
numb passionate patient pleased
pressured proud put down puzzled
reborn regretful rejected rejecting
rejuvenated relaxed relieved resentful
resolute sad satisfied sensual
serene sexy shocked startled
stuck suffering surprised supportive
tearful tense terrified threatened
thrilled tight transcendent trusting
truthful uncertain uncooperative understood
uneasy unhappy unloved upset
uptight vengeful vindictive wanted
warmhearted wise worthless worthy
MIND EXERCISE. Take some time to review the emotional visitor list and highlight those that fit into the above criteria for you. Obviously everyone reading this book will have different ones and keep in mind that everyone who is not reading this book will also have a different list. That includes each member of your family, your colleagues, friends and those people you come in contact with during your day. The more you practice your own interactive awareness emotional sightings, the more you will notice in others. You will also begin to notice what emotional visitors arrive in direct response to those of another person. In fact, many of these “emotional transactions” are on auto-pilot! Knowing what you now know about auto-pilot, don’t you think you would benefit from having a good look at what’s going on in your life in regard to emotions? Later on you will be presented with some mind exercises in this regard. They are lots of fun and true eye openers!
On the third step of this program you are working with imaginology or active imagery, picturing emotional states as little children wearing tee shirts with their names on the front. Each child has their own personalized box of crayons for coloring moment- to- moment experiences. This type of active imagery invites you to disassociate from your emotional state. You are also able to image, as well as sense what is going on in any given moment, in your thoughts, as well as in your body communication system. Instead of an automatic pilot program with its attached emotions dictating your actions, you are now taking your rightful position as the writer-director-producer of your own life. At the same time you are invited to re-editing old subconscious mind programs, including the re-education of your emotional mind states. This is all key in bringing order to your life and managing addictions. In the past, before you began paying attention, you simply lit a cigarette, poured a cup of coffee, or put a piece of candy in your mouth in answer to stored or momentary stress.
The art of disassociation also makes it clear that you are not your emotions. They are outside or separate from you. For most of us this is a tremendous relief. This view allows us to forgive ourselves, as well as to have some self-compassion. Emotions are simply a part of us that needs management, even if they are acting out in a positive way. You'll come to understand more about this later on. Remember, emotions color experiences all day long. Sometimes the colors work well and other times not so well. On occasion the crayon colors are too heavy and other times too light. And if the emotion holds the crayon too tight, or presses too hard the crayon can break. You might experience this as a complete loss of control of your emotional self.
"I’m Italian and from the time I was a baby, everyone around me was highly emotional. My base-line emotions tend to be quite high. When my food is out of order and the sugar intake is up, I can feel the intensity of the usual base-line emotions go much higher. I’ve been improving my food intake, but still find that I get into trouble with my emotions. Should I try to change who I am?"
It’s important for all of us to understand that we are not your emotions. Emotions are like visitors who knock at your door. You can choose who enters, as well as the decorum you expect or need in any moment. Remember that each moment is separate unto itself, just like each breath is different from the one before. Each moment has a separate goal, something you want, colored by your emotions. Pay attention, for some are positive while others are negative. No matter what their classification, your subconscious mind interprets them as your goal of choice. Begin to assess. What does your goal look like, what emotions and/or crayons are best in this moment? You might have to give up some automatic pilot programming if you want the goal. This is maturity and the ability to see your outcomes very clearly. This is self-development and self-growth.
MIND EXERCISE. Just imagine how much power you have given to your emotions over the years and still tend to give! Think about today. Can you locate any moment or group of moments forming a remembered experience when your emotional children were in charge and not your mature self? Sit back and view this happening on your mind screen? How would you rate this production? The library of your mind is filled with these experiences. The good news is that you now know how to release these programs. When you climb up to step four, you will be able to re-edit these, programming your mind for what you want instead.
"Super-Punch" Negative Emotional Crayons Include....
Fear - Anger - Sad - Guilt - Shame -Victim
These familiar emotions can be destructive, as well as dangerous to the body and mind. They change the body chemistry leading to stress-induced disease states. They also present themselves in disguise, so beware... Keep in mind that they are contagious, infecting your life and those around you.
"Super-Punch" Positive Emotional Crayons Include....
Gratitude - Love - Forgiveness - Compassion - Peace
These are familiar, but often strangers in the middle of our daily stress-collecting experiences. Be sure to hunt them out, actively inviting them into your life. Not only do they feel good, but they also produce healing hormones. You will also find that these are contagious as well, only this is a positive source of infection.
A NOTE TO NEW READERS:
This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" This book is not published as yet, but you have the opportunity to read it in it's unpublished state. If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.
Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.
Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder &