Saturday, June 27, 2009

Parenting Your Immature Self

Earlier we touched base with the importance of INTENTION & DESIRE. It's logical that if you want to achieve something, first you need to know what that is & then you need to truly want or desire it. The thing that you want is called your "goal" & the desire is the push to get to the goal. If you want to lose weight or curtail disorderly eating issues, you will have to take aim at many different goal-aspects. Not doing so will make it much more difficult to achieve your over-arching goal, whether it be losing weight, maintaining a healthy weight or managing emotional or compulsive/stress eating. This is why we're working with developing numerous Pods on the time-line. But even when Pods are super-clearly defined & the desire to achieve is present, there will be moments in time when the old, stand-by disorderly patterns will appear in full-force. This usually happens when the level of stress is high.

If you've been reading along, you will remember the image of the "circus of the world" & the "golden egg shape." The circus symbolizes stressful living & the golden egg shape is where you go to separate yourSelf from the stress, but also to be in direct communication with your HigherSelf. When you are present in the circus, or stressful life experiences, your level of desire tends to break down. Your HigherSelf, on the other hand, has the direction, stability & power that you need in these moments, but in order to access it, you must have open communication.


This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up.
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.


When disorderly eating behaviors are present, the immature Self is usually front & center. It's possible that you may not have been properly introduced to your immature Self, but if you just stop & listen to your words or thoughts, you will be able to identify this part. If you have ever spent time with a teenager, you will be able to identify the adolescent values & goals, with the teen pretending that these are adult approaches to life, which of course, they are not. The immature Self does not want to change the many lifestyle areas that need to be changed in order to go towards health. In fact, there may be little interest in health, or at the most, the interest is simply "lip service". Disorderly eating usually means that there are many areas that are in disarray. This, of course, makes the immature Self more defensive, looking for excuses at every corner. The presence of this immature part of the personality is usually the reason for procrastinating about getting started with bringing order to disorder. Just think about the average teen's room & you'll get the idea. The desire & motivation to put things in their place is usually not present.

So, what now? Well, obviously you are not going to leave the future status of your health to your immature Self! You might have done that in the past, but remember, the past is past & now is now. Your future is unfolding on your time-line & you are the writer, director & producer, not your immature Self. You are the Parent, not the child or adolescent. Just the fact that we are bringing this "knowing" to the light, will make a difference in what happens next. The immature Self is no longer incognito & you truly get it. Just getting it will make living inside your Pods much easier, but sometimes it still isn't enough. When stress gets high, the immature Self attempts to take back control, pushing you, the Parent Self. If you have children, then you have experienced this. You know what it is to throw your hands up in the air, simply giving up & giving in. But, once again, that was the past & now is now. You have your HigherSelf who will take over for you while you recover.


Communicating is not something you do just when the going gets difficult. This would be tantamount to having a great friend or mentor, but only being in touch during difficult times. It's important to practice this special kind of communication. Like anything else, the more you practice, the better you will get at accessing this important part of yourSelf. In fact, you can do it in any moment you choose, for the HigherSelf is always present. It's just like making a phone call. You have the desire or need to phone someone & so you get your phone & call the number. You are quiet & focused. You tell the person on the other end why you are calling, perhaps asking questions or relating something. listen to what the other party has to say. Go ahead & practice this right now.... Make it real for you. It truly isn't complicated. As for mySelf & what I teach my clients....we're in touch with our HigherSelves at least six times a day & then some. The regular "calls" are programmed throughout the day & are called "fractionation", meaning that the day is broken down into parts. Sometimes the call is just about wanting to hear the breathing of the HigherSelf....a grounding or centering exercise. Other times it is for something more specific. However, one never has to wait for the next fractionation. If, for some reason, the immature Self is trying to take over, that is the moment to make the call! You are never alone!

( continued in next blog/workshop)

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.