Saturday, October 09, 2010

Death by Dog !@#$%^& the body is tight and yes, I can open it. Over the years I've gotten pretty good at releasing the body, especially if I remember. Of course, remembering gets easier when the pain is acute, like not being able to turn my head while driving. That's a wake-up!

Then there's this business of cuticle picking and becoming lost in my own mind, not hearing the conversation that's right before me. It's easier to turn off certain people. Not surprising, my husband often heads that list. I've heard those critiques before, so why plug into them again. Is that rude or just plain self-preservation? Questions to myself.

Is it really necessary to keep hanging out in the same boxing ring? What's to be gained, other than feeling lower than when I willingly agreed to face my opponent? Why do I always take that lower road? Where do these behavioral traits come from?

Yesterday I found myself ushered into the boxing ring. It was so automatic, but this time I woke up as I climbed over the ropes. "No, I'm not going to do engage in this. I do have a choice and I choose not to spar with my partner." Of course, partners don't like being left alone in the ring without their opponent. So, a different sort of battle presents itself outside the ring, but it's much easier to escape these if one's plans are in place.

I remember once reading something that set a new pattern into motion. It's funny how certain things just resonate and come with their own sticky glue. On my "mind wall" there is this reminder. "Your rear end is not glued to the seat, nor are your feet glued to the floor." Interesting concept. I remember the very first time I employed this. I was sitting down listening to my husband and decided I'd had quite enough. So, I simply stood up and walked normally out of the room. No words, no rushing, no anything. Kept thinking about the absence of the glue. I remember him asking me where I was going. A part of me said "upstairs." That was it. If there were other words I didn't hear them. It was like my body transported me to a different time and a different place. The next thing I knew I was upstairs in my office reading a magazine. Since this behavior was new for me, my husband was caught off guard, like a boxer who doesn't see the punch coming and wakes up on the floor.

Of course there are some stressors that need to be handled differently, as well as some that will always be present, but new rules can be applied. Stress kills, so it's best to pay attention and know that stress does not rule unless you choose to allow it to do so. I know that I rule. And, it doesn't matter WHO delivers the stress...husband, child, colleague, friend or stranger. They only deliver and it's always my choice as to what to accept. Can you imagine someone ringing your doorbell with a box of dog @#$%^? Would you take it and then say "thank you" ? We've all done this in the past, but now it's time to utilize some new imagery and plans to take care of yourself in new way.

Stress kills and I'll never accept the "reason for death being dog %^&*" to be written on my death certificate.