Opening a creative-healing space brings a gigantic flow of things wanting to fill this newly acquired void. Here's the catch...some of the things are the same as what filled the space before, many of which are unwanted. Others are new and open for review. Some are keepers, while others are not. It's like cleaning out your closet, then going shopping...often bringing back the same things that were dropped off at Goodwill.
For me, because my depressive state is so finely etched in my subconscious mind, the very same offenders simply see this as an opportunity to take up residence. In the past, this has been on auto-pilot, but not this time around. The depression has been going on too long and it's been far too disruptive, even frightening to me. The body texting has been intense and this can be very dangerous because stress-related diseases are often killer diseases.
What comes into the new creative-healing space is my choice. When we wake up to something, it seems to be scattered all over the place. The mess is seen in a new light and this time the light is very bright. My mess seems to have legs, walking back into my new space. Shutting the door is not the best option. Whenever we lock something up or lock it out, it becomes more powerful. This is what I've been doing over the past months. Just dancing around the issues without moving into the position of power and decisiveness.
I slept through most of this afternoon. This is common when releasing heavy body texting. My body is exhausted and I've given it permission to be deeply relaxed. When depressed or in a state of high tension, we are often unaware of how tired the body and mind can be.
Sitting in my favorite recliner, my breath becomes deeper without even thinking. My body sinking into the chair. The "hurry up twins" seem to know that they have no power over me when I'm in this chair. I smile at this because they are unrelentless, usually appearing before I get out of bed in the morning. Images arise of patients in psychiatric clinics who have been sent away to recover their sanity. This is how my subconscious mind reads the stress level where I find myself. This is helpful because the inner mind is a powerful resource for healing. Since it understands my needs on the deepest levels, then I know I can count on it to assist in what I need. This is a form of automatic programming, for the mind works backwards. The plan will be forthcoming.
Once relaxed and inside my creative space, I'm invited to walk around and assess the scene. No emotions are present, just me and my Higher Self. I often call this part of myself, my Therapeutic Self. Right now that is very appropriate! I've decided to position my recliner in this special space. As I sit there, the blue light surrounds me. I'm accepting that I need much more blue light than before. I feel like I've been through some sort of battle and while I want to fully recover, rushing it is not an option this time.
A blue light application and then continue to view the creative space. New ideas are asking to be admitted for review. I'm interested in seeing a few choices, but not too many. I'm sure this is a result of my need to recover slowly. I'm aware that it isn't necessary to do everything at once. As a major multi-tasker this would have been a challenge, but for some reason it isn't any longer. Perhaps the result of the battle. Anyway, it feels good to take this approach.
A gentle "suggestor" enters. It's so refreshing to have someone gentle and peaceful in my presence. Someone who doesn't want me to hurry and spin on a dime. The suggestion is to "open the windows" and let in some fresh air." Ohhh... how I love self-hypnosis! The indirect suggestion....open the windows....fresh air. I'd like that. I think of new people to bring into my creative circle, realizing that some have already found me. Gentle people with wonderful, creative ideas who have offered me an opportunity to join their endeavor. Like choosing a piece of candy, I help myself to "one." Outside of my creative space my compulsive self would have dumped the whole candy dish into my purse. Taking "one" feels so good. One new person and one new project.
The mind works backwards. The suggestion having been accepted, it moves into my creative space with the plan and project already completed. As I return to my recliner, it performs for me. I'm invited to enter the images, sensing the level of comfort and satisfaction. A little bit of tweaking on my part, but things rearrange themselves to meet my slight changes. I ask to enter the final outcome and then.....to open the door to what this leads to down the path. Just a peak.... after all, I'm still in recovery.
