How Many Cookies will it take to Make Me Happy?

This is another excerpt from my soon to be published book of the same name.

I truly believe that we learn from the stories of others. This is especially true in "Disorderly Eating" or food addiction issues, because so much of it is "secret eating", tightly tied & woven with threads of shame & guilt. As an RN, Clinical Medical Hypnotherapist & disorderly eater, I find myself in the perfect position to tell my truths for the purpose of undressing the problems, while shining the therapeutic light, smack dab in the middle, where healing takes place. My personal & professional experience has taught me that if secrets stay behind closed doors, they cannot be healed. This is one of the biggest reasons why it is so difficult to solve eating issues.

I believe in healing addictions with detachment & humor. Today it's all about cookies & how many cookies it will take to get the child-mind to stop demanding them. Of course, it doesn't have to be cookies; it could be anything that you continually or obsessively think about. Since I've been a disorderly eater for decades, I've been through the gambit; pizza, diet coke, greasy chips, M&M's, chocolate peanut butter ice cream, even strong coffee. Yes, addiction & food obsession has many coats & like with other addictions, manage one & the next one steps up to the plate, in this case, literally. Yes, we would like our eating issues to disappear completely, but it's best to know the truth. Most of them have been harbored from early childhood & are very heavily etched, making it difficult to snuff them out completely. But don't be disheartened. I'm here to tell you that you can learn to play this particular behavioral game well & each time you manage your child-mind, you will become stronger, not only in the area of food, but in others as well. Your self-image, self-esteem & personal power will be built with each & every successful challenge....just like building muscle.

Now, about those cookies. For me, there are cookie-issues, but this particular cookie issue went far beyond the cookie jar. In fact, there was no cookie jar involved. This involved those soft cookies sold in the local supermarkets, to be exact, one chocolate, one chocolate chip & one sugar cookie placed in a bag, not a box. Boxes don't hide well & secrecy was part of the very specific rules & regulations for this binge activity. The cookies were to be purchased on the way home from work, eaten in the car, finished by the time I turned into the subdivision, where I would dutifully stop the car, step out, brush off the crumbs & check my lipstick. I remember one day when my heart raced as a neighbor's car stopped to ask me if I was having a problem. "No problem ...thought there was a wasp in the car." Now lying was added to guilt & shame. I must admit there was a part of me that felt smart & clever as the story was told to the unsuspecting, now deemed ridiculous, nosey neighbor.

Then there came a day when I knew this activity had to stop. I can't remember exactly why; perhaps the angels were trying to save my life again. I loved them & hated them at the same time. As I came to understand more about my internal structure, I could notice my adult/teacher self & then the sassy, child-self who could get out of control on a dime. This day my adult/teacher said "enough." And so, I passed the supermarket with the child-self trying to grab the steering wheel, so I could turn into the parking lot. "Wow...one dangerous child-self!", I thought to myself. She was truly beyond what I had experienced in the past & I remember wondering how far she'd go with me. I've had experiences in the past where I've been afraid of myself, but never with eating or bingeing issues. Just then I remembered I had to pass two other supermarkets. Thinking I had stalled the little beast, I began to relax. "Not so fast", came the violent jolt to my body. "It's not too late. You can still consume them in time." The car actually lurched to the turning lane as if I was possessed or something.

As I pulled the car back, I heard the threats. "I'm make you throw up. You can't stop me. I say what you eat & when you eat it." Now, perhaps you think I'm making this up, but make no mistake. The addictive child-self is without conscience & when she/he senses weakness in the adult/teacher, that is when sparks can fly & in this instance, they were big & they were flying. If she could have pinned me to the wall, she would have done just that. Fortunately, my angel was on my shoulder waking me up. The traffic light turned red & in stillness, I contemplated what had just happened. As I looked to the passenger seat, I could see "her."; about eight years old, pig-tails & a turned down lower lip. "Oh my God, she's really real!! An absolutely dangerous brat & I'm responsible for "her."

For some reason, I remember taking a deep, long meditative breath. This must have been silent angel instructions. Then, I heard my voice; not my usual spitting angry Mother voice that I learned from my own childhood. This was a gentle, but firm, assertive voice that I'd not heard ever before. The red light changed to green & we moved forward. "So tell me. How many cookies is it going to take for you to leave me alone & to never, ever do that again?" Her reply was quiet, but arrogant. "Oh, zillions & gillions." There it was. There would never be enough. Even if I were on my deathbed, she would still be there, in charge & demanding.

The new voice responded, "Well then, that's why you will never, ever have another one of those." Quiet, assertive & very sure. Now, I don't believe in exorcism, but in that moment I felt her presence shift way back into the corner of the car & out of the corner of my eye I noticed she was looking out the window in a relaxed-state. Perhaps she was missing her Mother/Teacher...

Post-script - from that day on there was never, ever a demand or desire for one of those cookies.

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Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is the author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It.

The Hunger & Fatigue Zone

I grew up super-hungry. As a child, I remember being criticized for always eating. Yes, I was truly hungry, both physiologically & emotionally. My body & mind thought about eating most of the time. As the years passed, other physical changes became evident, such as a tendency to store belly fat & to feel "drunk" after eating. However, no matter how much I ate, the insatiable hunger continued & my life evolved around it. While being athletic probably saved me from becoming obese, no one seemed to know that my hunger levels were announcing a problem, nor that my eating behaviors were setting the stage for some serious medical & emotional problems down the road.


It took decades for me to fully understand what my body & mind were trying to tell me. Despite being an RN, the kind of information I needed was simply not readily available. Yes, there was plenty of "diet" jargon around & I kept believing that very soon I'd find the secret. Instead, these diets turned me into a yo-yo compulsive eater & diet junkie. I was blind to the fact that I was making myself even more seriously ill.


My "I could eat the wallpaper off the walls" hunger & fatigue were early indicators of pre-diabetes & closely related to other killer diseases including heart & circulatory disease, a medical syndrome known as hyperinsulinemia. In simple terms, my pancreas was over-producing insulin while building what's called insulin resistance on my cell borders. As my pancreas tired, I was on the fast road to adult onset diabetes. The new-found knowledge told me that this was no longer about wanting to lose weight, but about choosing whether to live & or die. Simple & scary as that.


Through the years I had literally dug myself into a hole & the only way out was to change my lifestyle behaviors radically....at least for me. I had come to understand that I was a very disorderly & undisciplined eater. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. There was little rhyme or reason to what I did. I paid little attention to the messages from my body or mind. I never considered my body organs when choosing what or when to eat. It was only about personal satisfaction. I lied & made excuses, so I could keep doing whatever I wanted. I ate secretly. I binged in the car on the way home from work. I binged in the middle of the night. If I finished off a pint of ice cream, the next day a new one would magically appear. If it felt good, or if I believed it would release my stress, I did it, secretly knowing that one day it would catch up with me, but....not today. I was wrong.


One day I realized that I would have to change everything regarding my eating & exercise behaviors. I was so happy to find out what was wrong with me, but this was also the day I met up with the destructive, addictive child-part of my personality; the part that ranted & raved to keep things the same as they were, diabetes threat or not. It was very chilling to experience my own potential to destroy myself by choice. I never want to forget that, as it's only by knowing that part that I can stay in good health.


Well, this is a blog & not a book. Let me give you some nutshells of knowledge that I hope will help you to awaken & move off of the killer path & onto the path of recovery & health:


ABOUT HUNGER & FATIGUE: Moderate hunger means it is time to eat. Excessive hunger means that your body hasn't received sufficient food, or the wrong kinds of food or that you've skipped meals. In other words, you are not taking care of your body & mind & this is your responsibility. As for fatigue, if your physician has examined you & finds no other cause, your fatigue is most likely related to your poor eating habits & should correct itself as soon as you settle in.


WHAT TO EAT: The body needs a balance of protein, carbohydrates & healthy fats. While there are formulas for this, quite honestly I think it's easier to just think in food groups. Protein should be lean. Fish is friendly. Cut back on red meat. As for fats, develop a relationship with olive oil. A little goes a long way. Dairy is both protein & carbohydrate. It may like you or it may not. Treat it with a level of caution because it is lactose or sugar. Sugar is not friendly. Carbohydrates should be low-glycemic, legumes or whole grains. If you don't like vegetables, learn to like them. They can save your life. Fruits are carbohydrates, but need to be monitored depending on your family & personal medical history & the level of hyperinsulinemia you are experiencing. All fruits are not created equal. Bananas are not blueberries & the body responds differently to them. Get smart here. Refined carbohydrates are not your friends & will keep you on the path of hunger, fatigue & moving towards illness. As your body recovers, you may be able to re-introduce some of these, but this will take time. Soda or pop is bad for you. If you must sparkle, try seltzer. Juice or juice-like drinks need to leave. Alcohol will probably have to leave for awhile. Once again, all of this is your responsibility. Learn to accept so you may learn to live.


WHEN TO EAT & HOW MUCH: It's important to have a food discipline. Eating every 3.5 to 4 hours is necessary to provide what the body needs. The body is like a car & needs proper fuel. If you don't feed it, it will break down, both now & later. The body isn't interested that you are too busy or don't like to cook or believe that you can't cook. The body will do what it needs to do. The amount of food you need is determined by your lean body mass & your level of activity. When the scale weight is too high, this usually means that the lean body mass is too small & the body fat percentage is too high. This is backwards. The lean body mass needs to be bigger that the body fat percentage. You reverse this by eating properly & exercising. If you don't eat sufficiently or in a timely manner, the body will store fat. That's the way it works. If you need help figuring this out, there are websites that will help you. If you think this is too much trouble, then you are in trouble.


WHAT ABOUT CAKES, COOKIES, ICE CREAM, ETC. They live somewhere else, but not where you live. In the future, you may be able to entertain them, but for now, they are not part of the recovery. If you think this is not possible, then you are going to pay the piper dearly. Stop fighting so much. This only makes things worse. Pretend they are poison, which they are for you. Utilize whatever image works best. Practice quiet, focused assertiveness.


WHAT ABOUT CRAVINGS & COMPULSIVE/EMOTIONAL EATING FRENZIES: This needs to be addressed in the next blog, but let's get clear about this. If you have not been following the above, you really don't know how much is physiological & how much is emotional. The physiology changes quite quickly & then you can truly meet up with your emotional Self. I told you a bit about mine & I promise that you will not be disappointed when you meet your very own. These are "special" parts of us & while appearing to be negative in nature, that's only from the first glance. You may come to find out that this part of you is the most inventive, creative & helpful in helping yourself to recover.


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Copyrighted 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.HtMay not be reprinted or copied without permission of author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is the author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It

Inside the Healing Zone

There are 4 basic steps or active images for Managing Disorderly Eating. Active means that you will be participating "inside" the images. Here we will be building a working or Healing Zone for recovery. In the future, I'll give you additional imagery to add to the basic steps. As your portfolio of imagery grows, your subconscious mind will become more "in love" with your personal recovery & you will begin to notice how it encourages you in new, positive directions.

When dealing with addiction or imbalance of any sort, the mind can benefit from having special structure & this is what these images will provide. And while they give stability, they are fluid & will change throughout your work. I've been working with my Healing Zone for over two decades & while I can easily recognize them in the theater of my mind, once I enter them I'm continually amazed at how my subconscious mind has added to them over the years. It's like having a personal inner coach who is constantly present.

Here are the 4 areas we'll be establishing. Think of them as separate buildings on a particular street. My Healing Center is in a private park, filled with mature trees & lots of flowers. There is a brick paved road & a stone walking path that leads between the buildings. For me, the stone path symbolizes stepping stones & the child part of me loves to skip over them. I share this with you so you can begin to enjoy the beauty of managing your life issues with Interactive Imagery. Keep in mind that your subconscious mind is a "creative child-mind" & becomes very impressed with this type of playful imagery, that is saturated with emotions of joy & pleasure. Then, it will do everything to make it come true for you. Let me mention here that the mind works backwards; once it senses the desired outcome, it will provide the go forward plan to bring it to fruition.

OK...let me take you inside the Healing Zone imagery:

1. Restaurant

2. Bank

3. Exercise Center

4. Film Studio

RESTAURANT

Obviously, eating the right foods, in the right amounts & at the right time are paramount to recovery from disorderly eating, as well as any addiction or body-mind imbalance. The image of a restaurant works well for me & many of my patients like this as well. Let me take you through my imagery. Then you can decide if you would like to work with something like this, or choose something else.

As we enter the building, we find ourselves in the lobby where a large painting of myself is hanging on the wall. I'm holding a child, who is also mySelf. This is very metaphoric, indicating that as I care for mySelf, I care for the child within. If I touch my hand in the painting, the image of mySelf awakens & will step down to greet me. Having a positive, loving & respectful relationship with yourSelf is paramount to recovery, as well as building self-esteem. I pay attention to the details of mySelf; of course they are all positive & glowing.

We enter the restaurant & I'm aware that this is a "restaurant of the world." It is filled with people from all over the world; people who are eating wonderful, healthy food. In other words, we are all on the same page. The world is filled with people who are practicing high level health. It is powerful for me to know this because in the life that I observe out of imagery, it is not like this. Yes, I do need a new model & this is perfect. My lonliness subsides.

Because it is a restaurant of the world, it is divided into sectors; breakfast, lunch, dinner & snacks. As I walk around with my painting Self, I notice the healthy foods & amounts that are being enjoyed for all meals. I like to take my time here because in the past, my choices were often narrow & uninteresting. Now this is just the opposite.While I'm viewing these inner images, my subconscious mind is fast at work, making plans & suggestions for what I need to change. These will pop into my mind at a later time as positive suggestions, motivated by a high desire to move out of my rut.

I often stop & chat with the different "visitors" in the restaurant. I ask them direct questions & always get answers. This is another view of the subconscious mind at work. Sometimes I taste things. Involving the senses is a great way to explode your innate creativity. I'm often invited to sit down & join in the conversations. As I become more involved with the socialization & joy of participating in healthy mealtimes, my own mind is once again looking to revamp my old patterns.

I like to visit the chefs from around the world & observe them prepare wonderful recipes that are easy & delicious. In my out of imagery life, I'm often not keen on cooking, having tired of the process many years ago. This negative emotional marinade made it difficult for me to get healthy & so this type of imagery is very powerful in the area of changes that are important to me.

On another occasion I'll take you outside the restaurant to the gardens that include all the body part plants that benefit directly from the restaurant. This area serves as a very important motivator, indicating what happens to our body & mind when we don't provide what is needed.In the next installment, we'll leave the restaurant & walk over to the Bank. There we will utilize imagery for managing thoughts & emotions, thereby building our assets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyrighted 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

May not be reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is the author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It

WORKING WITH IMAGES - READING VS DOING

Our brains work in different ways. In fact, we have at least 7 types of intelligences. Some of us can image along with reading, while others cannot. Sometimes we sense this difficulty as "distracting" or "uncomfortable." I also have this issue, but have worked to improve this part of my intelligence. I used to notice it when reading or studying sewing patterns, or figuring out how to work the DVD, especially hooking it up & programming it. I promise you that the images I'll be presenting here will be nothing like those!!

So, how do we get past this "distraction." I suggest that you read through the image exercise first. That will put the compulsive part of you at rest. Yes, we all have compulsive parts of our personalities & they are especially present in those of us with disorderly eating or sugar addiction, the reason being both physiological & emotional/behavioral. We have lots of nasty patterns to break.Next, relax deeply in your chair. I've given instructions for that. If necessary, break those instructions into steps; read them one by one or write them down in a numbered list. That will help the mind to "organize" or settle down. Disorderly eaters often have problems with rapid thought disorder or what I call "runaway brain syndrome."

1. Sit up in the chair with your finger tips on your lower abdomen.

2. Invite or feel your breath in this area. Just think it there. The abdomen goes up & down. Remember how a dog breathes when resting. Your mind will do the rest.

3. If & when your mind wanders, bring it back to the breath.

4. Your mind may try to push you around, but you are in charge.

5. Stay with the breath.

6. Feel the chair pulling you down gently, just as if magnets were there.

7. Feel the chair pulling you back gently, just as if magnets were there.

8. Just with your imagination, draw or imagine that a golden egg shape is around you & you are inside of it. Your mind may wander & that is fine. Bring it back to the egg.

9. Feel your fingers moving on your lower abdomen.

10. Practice enjoying the sensation.That is a very simple, but very important exercise.

What you are doing is taking some control over your mind & body. You are slowing your brain waves & body functions, bringing it back to healthy balance. I suggest that you practice this at least 6 times a day, just for a few minutes. This practice is called "fractionation" & is rather like taking out the trash more frequently. We all need this.

FEAR OF RELAXING

If you are not used to relaxing deeply, then the sensation will be new to you. There is no reason to be afraid to relax deeply. Why would there be? The body & mind WANT & NEED this. If you would like to control the depth of the relaxation, pretend that you have an imaginary dial. When you turn it to the left the body relaxes more; to the right, body tension returns. Practice turning the dial in both ways.

WANTING TO GET RID OF MY WEIGHT RIGHT NOW & DON'T WANT TO DO IT THIS WAY

Oh...well unfortunately that's not the way it works. People with disorderly eating issues are usually looking for a miracle or quick fix. Eating issues are not just about food & that is why diet books or programs don't work on their own. People need to go into "recovery" to become aware of the many facets of the addiction or disorderly eating behaviors. They are different for everyone & only by working closely with the mind & body, will it be possible to climb out of the rut & stay out.

We haven't addressed emotions yet, but I did give an exercise for working inside the "rut." This is a key exercise, because only by bringing "light" to the issues or emotions, can one dilute or escape them. Look at your life as a "theatrical production." The rut is a scene....actually a very important scene that has become the focal point for disorderly eating. For some of us, it is a complicated & dark area. Mine was like that & I'm still cleaning & clearing it out. Recovery takes time & it takes work. In the beginning, emotions may try to stop or block the recovery work. Keep in mind that you are not your emotions. For now, image them as little children, wearing tee shirts with their names on the front. Some are negative & others positive. Negative ones hang out in the "rut" & don't want their environment to change. But, you are in charge now. When you came out of the "rut" I gave you my power through another image. Keep the questions coming....this is what recovering is all about.

MP3

The complimentary mp3 program that I have posted on my websites is called Affirmations for Making Changes. You can download the first track or self-hypnosis session there.

Looking Up & Sensing the Dawn

"As in everything else, we begin where we are. If we must begin again & that is a certainty, we begin where we are, for while we may think that we are in the same place, we are not. We have always progressed, even though we may think differently & this is important to know". .. Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

By way of my words, I'm inviting you to join me on my journey through what I call "disorderly eating." Some of you may need to lose weight & perhaps a large amount of weight, but it's not always about weight. Through my life & professional career, I've met thousands of individuals who have very nasty eating habits & these habits are taking them down the path to the killer diseases. I share this with you because those of us who have obvious weight issues often envy our slender friends, thinking that they can get away with eating whatever they want & whenever they want. This simply isn't true.

I was motivated to put together this FB adventure when I joined Ruby Gettinger's Wall & noticed how many people were out there cheering her on. As a therapist & author, I wondered who all these people were & how many had issues similar to Ruby's. I wondered how many of those cheering were what I call the "window shoppers of the world"; watching someone else march the path to success while they sit on the sidelines procrastinating, wishing they could do the same, but fearful of stepping out. Window shoppers spend their life looking, wanting & wishing, but never taking the action of entering the shop at hand. I know this well, for I spent a good portion of my own life simply window shopping.

For those of you who are not familiar with my work, I'm an RN Educator & Medical Hypnotherapist. Medical hypnotherapy has been utilized in the practice of medicine for thousands of years. This is not the same as "stage hypnosis." In actual fact, we all practice hypnosis all day long. We do this through our thoughts....mind pictures that are marinated by emotions. Sometimes we get lost in our thoughts & lose track of time & reality. This is called altered consciousness or auto-pilot.

In the practice of medical hypnotherapy, we learn to "wake-up" or become aware of these self-hypnotic states & then choose what we might like to do with our powerful minds. There are so many things for you to know regarding how your mind works. I'm sure you have heard of the mindbody connection. Research is more than clear that mind-produced stress effects the body. 60-90% of disease states are stress related. Perhaps you also know that weight gain is related to stress. What we are talking about are actual "stress chemicals" that are produced inside the body by playing certain negative-based thoughts in the mind. So, what you think can cause illness & also store fat. Not exactly what we have in mind. If this isn't bad enough, the mind works as a "servo-mechanism." That means that the mind is like radar. What you think is not only what you get, but the subconscious mind will accept your thoughts as your "goal of choice" & so you will actually get MORE of it. This is great if your thoughts are reflecting what you truly want, but if they are not, then you get the picture.

This being the case, it's paramount to learn how to wake up & then how to change or manipulate the mind programs or thoughts. This may seem next to impossible, but throw that idea out. Remember what I just told you? Just reading the phrase " next to impossible " is an example of a negative mind program & in this case, guess what you'll be receiving? OK...you get it.

So...how do I go about helping my clients/students? The very same way I go about helping myself, for indeed, I have always been a disorderly eater & I continue to be in recovery. In the quote on the top of the page, I mention about "beginning" & then "beginning again." It's rather like riding a bicycle; we pedal for awhile & then perhaps hit a pebble that breaks our rhythm or maybe a rock appears & we fall off. Obviously we are not going to abandon our bike, but instead we'll attend to our situation or injury & then get back on.

In the practice of self-hypnosis, we work with mind images or inner pictures, also called "metaphors." You might wonder IF you are going to be able to do this & of course, you are because there isn't one person reading this who isn't making images of one sort of another in their mind. You are already working with me & that's exactly right.I'm going to design many, many working images for you to utilize. While it is enough to be reading them, I'd like to suggest that you work with a journal or notebook that you put aside especially for this work. Let me explain why. The subconscious mind is very sensitive about what you truly want & does want to provide it for you. If you dedicate a special notebook & work inside the images as I'm going to suggest, your journey will not only be faster, but much more enjoyable. If you have never worked on getting to know your innerSELF, you are in for a treat....even if you think that you don't like yourself very much. Once again, notice the "mind program." Oh oh... nix that one.

ABOUT RELAXING & INTRODUCING THE GOLDEN EGG & MIND SCREEN

When we work with imagery or our imagination, it's best to take a moment to deeply relax. If you can do that now, great; if not, read through & then decide WHEN you will do this. You might need to make a WRITTEN APPOINTMENT to do this work for yourself. If not, you may end up just "window shopping" & we have already been there. It's easy to deeply relax. Sit up in the chair & place your finger tips on your lower belly...invite your breath to enter your belly, just as if it harbored a balloon of any color you like. Sense the balloon going gently up & then down. Take your time. If you sense yourself rushing OR if your mind is suggesting that you rush, hurry up or any other "demand", simply return to your belly breath. Your mind is NOT in charge.

The Higher Part of you is in charge from now on forward. Enjoy that thought. Now sense the chair gently pulling your down, as if there were magnets pulling you down. Enjoy that. And next, sense the back of the chair pulling you back. Enjoy that. Now, just with your mind, draw a big golden egg shape around you. You are in the egg shape & everything else is outside. Good....you are ready now to simply tilt your eyes up gently & locate your mind screen. This is where YOU will place what you want. YOU are in charge from inside the golden egg shape. BTW, your eyes can be opened or closed. You will be utilizing this exercise from now on forward & sometimes you will be doing it "in the moment" & so your eyes will be opened. Other times they might be closed. OK?

LOOKING UP

I'm going to introduce you to a useful image & give you some suggestions for working inside of it. Most of us live in a rut & sometimes the rut is very, very deep....it might even take on the image of a deep hole. Yes, this could be diagnosed as depression & the work we are doing here does not take the place of professional intervention, so make sure that you are taking care of that if necessary. It's possible to become very attached to living in the hole; in fact, we often decorate it with negative mind images that we play over & over again, perhaps even getting some sick enjoyment from them. If you have these, you know what I mean. Some of mine have included feeling sorry for myself, seeing & sensing myself as a failure, especially in my addictive life, feeling unattractive & not good enough. In other words, my hole was decorated in "victim decor."

I'd like you to think about your rut or hole & notice the decor, as well as the emotions you might feel while being down there. Is it comfortable? Have you settled in? Have you looked UP recently, or located the ladder for climbing OUT? How do you feel about CLIMBING OUT?

Know that your feelings are real & need to be honored & addressed. This will be for another "note"... For now, I'd like to suggest that you find out all you can about your hole & locate the ladder & look up. You will see or sense an image of me. I'm in the light of day or "dawning light" & I'm extending my hand to you. Of course, I'm smiling one of my peaceful, knowing smiles & transferring this welcoming energy to you. Sense that... We are now placing subconscious mind programs & these can be utilized over & over.

As you climb up the ladder sense your determination & power. Next, sense my hand taking yours. I'm transferring my power to you, for that is my work as your "special coach." As you reach the top, step out & notice me. Now, I'm inviting you to go behind me & hold me by the waist. Now, step into me. You may need to make a height adjustment, but go ahead & become comfortable. The purpose of this image is to transmute or change you into your own "inner coach." It is from this position that you will go forward on your path towards high level health & performance & all the aspects of both. WELL DONE!

In the next "note" we'll begin to explore your Goal-den Path & the working metaphors for enhancing your life. I invite you to share your thoughts & experiences with me & other readers of this project. I am certainly willing to protect your privacy if requested.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

May not be reproduced without permission of the author

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com/

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Owning the Binge

Most of us binge in some area of life. What's important is to wake up & own it. Then one is free to manage it...Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

We all have beliefs and behavioral patterns that work for us and those that don't. It helps to image them as plants for plants know all seasons and they can, indeed, be helped to grow and change. Some plants have both positive and negative aspects. Others are completely positive and some completely negative. We spend a good part of our day planting and weeding, often not awake for our inner gardening work.

Working the time-line allows you to see where old beliefs were planted, as well as where and how behaviors were developed. Some of these are in the past, but many are actively being planted in the future. Yes, you are planning and planting your future on many different levels. This can be either good for you or not so good! As young children we develop volumes of coping mechanisms and behavioral patterns. Some of them follow us right through life. Some help and some impede. Some we learned from our parents, other mentors or teachers and some came by way of experience.

We often can see our parents in ourselves as we become older and wonder if history has to repeat itself through us. Some of these inner behavioral programs work well for us and can be seen in our successes. There are, however, some that do not work well and often some that hinder. It is important for us to know that we can alter any behavioral program simply through the tools presented here. Interactive Awareness and Interactive Self-Hypnosis give us the means for going into these past files. We can then re-edit or reframe memories and associated programs, so as to make them healthy and useful to us in our present and future life.

Learning to Re-frame

Re-framing beliefs or memories or any mind programs is just like deciding that a particular photograph would look better in a different frame, and then actually changing it; only frames for mind programs are those of perception. You choose to see your mind program differently, through “new eyes.” Suppose that you have a memory or mind program that is framed in anger or distrust. This is how it is stored in your subconscious mind, so whenever you review it consciously, it will come up framed in anger or distrust. In fact, the way the subconscious mind works, every time it comes up the frame will be stronger in perception. Now suppose you have a mind program or memory file about managing an addiction framed in failure. I’m sure you get the idea!

MIND EXERCISE

Now we are spending time assessing and locating areas for concentrated attention later on. Take some time to deeply relax, in fact even deeper than before. Perhaps close your eyes after reading this, knowing that everything shown to you will be useful in your recovery. Each day of your life you are presented with learning experiences. Some appear pleasant and others are not, but all are learning experiences. Significant people may have or currently be demonstrating anxiety, panic, depression, compulsive or obsessive behaviors to you. You may find yourself mirroring these or wanting to, perhaps later in the day. Go to work on your time-line. For example, notice if s anyone demonstrated addictions to you in the past. Addictions and related behaviors travel through families of origin and extended social circles. Also look for specific emotional teaching or patterns that may or may not work for you. All hold importance for now, as well as for your future.

Call in your librarian and spend some time looking through the shelves for any history of anxiety and panic, depression, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, as well as treatment or known triggers. These are very connected to addictions and stress-related issues. Remember the octopus and the tentacles? While there are physiological connections to the aforementioned, there are also triggers and you learned these somewhere and probably from someone. Think of the world as a great big school where you begin your formal schooling at birth, continuing along until death. Every experience you have is an actual learning experience. Every person you meet, or that attracts you in some way becomes a teacher of sorts.

All of these experiences are stored in your subconscious mind and the inner librarian knows where they are. This information will become very useful later on, so take your automatic writing pen and welcome the inner communication. Remember to be patient with the process and if nothing comes off the pen, simply wait a moment and then move on to the next section. You may find yourself receiving this information later on in a different quiet moment.

Interactive Self-Hypnosis can help you to change. It is important to become aware in a relaxed state and to see the scenes of the past being played out as separate from you. You might like to read the chapter on emotional crayons and practice some of those exercises, then apply them to this area of your Assessment. Throughout the book you will be coming back to this area, as you will have things to add as your heightened awareness grows.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, President & Program Designer for Sarasota Medical & Sports Hypnosis Institute located in Sarasota, FL & online at http://www.hypnosis-audio.com & http://www.sugar-addiction.comShe is the author of Sugar....the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It, Beyond Disorderly Eating...The Truth About Sugar, Bingeing & How to Stop, as well as The MindBody Fitness Boot Camp... Lifestyle Change Made Easy. She has also written & produced +350 audio CD's & mp3's. The websites include moderated discussion groups, ezines, library & a host of other educational tools for learning Interactive Self-Hypnosis. Visit the online Boot Camp & work directly with the author. Download a free mp3 each month.

Clues Below the Surface

In the practice of self-hypnosis, we work with active imagery/metaphors to help us understand complicated concepts, so that we can effect change with less efforting. The octopus is an excellent image for helping us to see the different aspects of disorderly eating.


With the above octopus image, you can see the disorderly eating poking it's head out of the sea. While this is so in most cases, there are some individuals who have little awareness of how badly they eat. One of the reasons for this is cultural. Our current society has truly slipped nutritionally & there are few good role models walking around. It worries me to think about the future. Who will our children emulate? Certainly the food industry is not set up with this in mind!


Below the surface we can see some of the tentacles that are involved in disorderly eating issues. I'll be discussing these in greater detail later in this blog. These are all covered in our book Beyond Disorderly Eating: The Truth About Sugar & Bingeing & How to Stop.


A good assessment of family & personal medical history is paramount in managing any & all disorderly eating issues. There are certain disease states that may be present in parents & grandparents that cause the pancreas of the individual with the disorderly eating to over-produce insulin & to build insulin resistance. This is a huge connection, not only to weight issues, but also to emotional & compulsive issues.


A trip down memory lane to the early placement of triggers, patterns, behaviors, etc. is extremely beneficial. We all began our food relationships at the beginning of life. We also connected our body image, self-image, self-esteem & other mind programs to our food relationships. In the practice of self-hypnosis, we can edit what doesn't work, while also enhancing what does work. We can also give our early child new tools, new choices & new outcomes. The subconscious mind believes whatever is placed in hypnotic suggestion, even if it didn't actually happen. However, there is an exception & a very important one. The inner mind will not accept any suggestion that is against the value system of the individual.


There are a few other tentacles under the surface. They include important relationships, such as that with a significant other, addictions history & emotional balance or imbalance. All of these need awareness & tending. The tools of interactive self-hypnosis help us to explore these important areas & to mind-edit changes, just like with the early child experience mentioned above.

Lifestyle Behavioral Patterns

Today I went back to workout at the local YMCA. It's been many years for me, and it has been on my mind for quite a long time. As I examined my procrastination, I came to believe that it was a scheduling time-thing, and with a bit of subconscious mind programming, I was able to readjust my daily schedule so as to fit this in on a regular basis. However, today I couldn't help but notice how nervous I was about beginning. I had lots of thoughts in relation to this fear, as well as breaking my old lifestyle behaviors and patterns. I thought I'd share part of my book that addresses this kind of thing. I actually utilized this for myself today.

There are many areas of lifestyle behaviors that are on automatic pilot. The areas in the above box represent only a few. It helps to imagine that each automatic pilot area has a separate folder in your subconscious mind. As you work with your personal assessment, you will be opening these folders and researching the many aspect of the automatic pilot programming. Some aspects may need to be deleted, changed or mind-edited in some way. Other parts may appear to be fine, but it's a good idea to review these anyway. Your subconscious librarian may have suggestions to make these even better than before.

We all tend to think within certain boundaries, but unfortunately when we do so, our innate creativity can be curtailed. Practice allowing your mind to open and flow. Your subconscious mind will apply this to other areas of your life Each time you encourage creative thinking. Very soon you will find yourself doing so on automatic pilot, and this is a great creative self-gift.

While automatic pilot has some benefits, it also has drawbacks. When you are not fully awake, you give up your rights to observe, assess and manage your thought processes. Thoughts are goals. Whatever you play in your mind becomes your goal for that moment. If you decide to brush your teeth, you will most likely participate in an automatic pilot program designed for oral hygiene. While this may be a safe, automatic mind program for you, suppose that you have a tendency to over-brush, therefore injuring your gums. Since this type of continuous abrasion can lead to some serious gum problems, you will want to dismantle your old automatic program.

MIND EXERCISE
As you practice heightened awareness, you will be able to edit many of these subconscious mind programs, allowing them to better serve you and your desired outcomes. If any of these come to mind now, make a note of them in your journal. Consider them awareness gifts from your subconscious mind librarian.

You can actually encourage these to surface. Here’s how to do that. Relax into the chair where you are reading this. Sense the chair pulling your gently down. Pay attention to what you are reading. You are currently in the process of reviewing and perhaps editing lifestyle behaviors. Notice if you are managing any addictions or if there is disorder in your life. Perhaps you binge on food or some other substance. Ask yourself if any of your automatic programs are blocking your goals for a healthy life.

Notice if you are wearing a belief coat that no longer fits, or one that you never wanted in the first place. Notice that you can edit or correct whatever you choose. Take your time in this moment. Your subconscious mind may send some suggestions now, or later, but your questions will be answered. You can ask questions in the forms of words or through imagery. Place an image or an idea on your mind screen and how to achieve this. It’s as simple as that.

Addictions are Connected

Hopefully you can read the above small print, but if you cannot, I'm going to repeat the most important statement there. Sugar is the underlying addiction to all addictions. This isn't something that I made up, but well documented by professionals and researchers in this field. Take the time to notice someone addicted to one of the substances above and look for the connecting addictions. I'm sure you will find them. I don't think that I've ever had an addicted individual in my practice who hasn't been around the block with at least one or two of these.

I've had issues with sugar addiction since I've been a young child. In truth, it's only been better over the last fifteen years when I came to design the 4 steps for managing disorderly eating. They have literally saved my life many times over. I was very ill from my eating issues for several decades, although their many aspects were never pinpointed as the reason for my variety of illnesses. All came to light in a series of serendipitous happenings.

Being an RN, I lived under the belief that my eating habits were quite good. Certainly I realized that I liked junk food and sugar, but never thought very much about it. I always had a huge appetite, and even though I always seemed to be hungry, it never dawned on me that there was anything odd about that. For me, I simply considered this being unlucky, accepting that I'd probably be on a diet of some sort forever, and most likely would never be a size 6. In fact, I often laughed at my perceived dilemma, never realizing that I was finding humor in something that was ruining my quality of life and actually had a potential for killing me. As I look back, it is amazing how out of touch I was with myself and the real truth about my disorderly eating.

I am reminded about this every day in my private practice, as well as when working online with my discussion groups. You can check those out at
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.hypnosis-audio.com

Patients come to see me to manage their addictions or to unravel their messy lives. As I go through their personal assessment, I'm reminded of myself over and over. Some individuals are very ill, much of it stemming from their undisclosed disorderly eating. I keep asking myself, "how do we get so sick without knowing why? What's missing from our general education? Why didn't my parents know how to take care of me?" I'm sure my very own children are asking the same questions about how I fed them. Both of my sons have had addiction issues, and as I look back to some of the things I allowed in my shopping card, I feel so very bad.

The other day I read an article in the Herald Tribune about how parents are getting tired of trying to get their children to eat healthy foods. These parents are burned out in their own lives, and when they come home they simply don't want to go through what it takes to implement changes. Well....I know what that feels like. However, it is our job as parents to be responsible. It's different when you don't know, but when you do, I can't imagine not pushing forward for what will make your children's life safer and healthier in the future.

I tend to think that parents still do not understand what happens inside the body when the food intake is not what the body and mind needs. I find this very frequently in my office practice and when counseling parents. I have to keep emphasizing that these are not small, unimportant issues. They are, indeed, major and can lead to some very deleterious outcomes in the future, major addictions included.

Somehow I would like to think that if parents were educated in the seriousness outcomes, they would be more willing to make the effort. However, perhaps I'm having pipe dreams. I remember one little patient of mine who had trichotillomania. She didn't have a hair in her head, nor an eyelash in place. She came to my office clutching a little bag of candy. When I interviewed her mother, she told me that she "herself" ate sugar out of the sugar bowl and consumed at least six cans of regular cola per day. While she wanted her child to stop pulling her hair out, she was not willing to change her role-modeling, nor to wean her child off of the candy. She preferred to stay in complete denial about the effects of sugar on obsessive compulsive disorders, such as that of her daughter. What was especially interesting to me was the look of fright on her face when I suggested that she also stop her sugaring because of the dangers it also presented to her own mind and body. If you are addicted, or know someone who is addicted, I'm sure you do recognize this feeling and/or look.

When I encountered my earlier mentioned serendipitous events, I learned that I would have to change each and every one of my eating behaviors. I was stunned. Part of me was delighted to find the culprit and to feel better, but the other part wanted nothing to do with it. That, as I mentioned before, was/is my child-self. She adores being undisciplined in relation to food and doesn't particularly care for regular meals, nor protein or even vegetables. She was a white flour, white rice, white potatoe, refined food junkie, so I do know what it means to change. She loved caffeine, food and sugar. Fat, salt, and sugar !!

I tell this to my patients and readers. While the journey was/is difficult, the rewards are absolutely incredible, surpassing anything I could have ever imagined.

Exploring Dieting & Nutritional History

I came to understand that many of my disorderly eating habits started very long ago.....some as far as infancy. In the beginning denied that these far away patterns or habits had anything to do with my adult habits, but now I'm absolutely convinced. As I work with patients and students of different ages, I can see how they came to where they are. It is very clear indeed and the stronger the pattern, the more it is etched into the subconscious mind.

While I remember my food connection to the death of my father and what transpired after that, I stand convinced that my issues began even earlier than that. On that particular day, I can truly remember feeling happy that I was given so many cookies without even having to ask for a single one. There is a remembered level of joy attached to that particular memory that then attached itself to my isolation and sadness. I suggest that you begin to work with active imagery as you self-examine your own memories and attached emotional states. For example, imagine a pot on the stove where you are adding ingredients. As I disassemble my own disorderly patterns, I need to place my newly found ingredients in some sort of a self-hypnotic container. The pot works!

In my book Beyond Disorderly Eating - The Truth About Sugar and Bingeing and How to Stop the reader gets to explore hundreds of working images designed for managing lifestyle change, as well as optimum health and performance. Interactive Self-Hypnosis is a very powerful tool for dissecting behaviors or patterns, and then editing them.

The self-exploration of early childhood, teen years and those that follow does take time, but this is time well spent. It is imperative to uncover these links, so the child can heal. Then the mature adult-self has less problems in managing the old programs. Do know that when you hit a roadblock, it will be the child-self trying to hold on to the otherwise unwanted behavior or pattern. I see it in myself, as well as in my office practice. Some patterns are stuck with the early child-self, others with the teen-self, and some with the insecure adult self. True age is not the issue here. One can be 25 or even 50 years old and have a pattern that is child-self related. We can all identify with this, once we stop denying and fighting ourselves. Tell yourself that it is OK..... we are all the same. You have lots of company with these problems, but now you can find the way to a higher level of physical and/or emotional health, as they are both connected.

Each day, if I'm willing to look, I can identify child-self patterns that are related to my disorderly eating issues. It may be in the area of shopping, or snacking, or walk-by-eating, or emotional-craving management. Perhaps it is giving myself the bigger piece of cake, or hiding something just for me, or making the coffee stronger so the kick is bigger. Many times I'm not fully awake as these things are occurring, but the child-self knows that this is the best time to get her fix.

Here are some other examples. I often find things in my supermarket cart that I don't remember thinking about. This is an example of mindless shopping. My child-self loves that feeling. This kind of pattern doesn't only occur in the supermarket, but just about anywhere. Think if you have ever had a release-feeling when purchasing, especially with a credit card. The feeling is often lessened when using real cash. Start to pay attention and once you bring these patterns to awareness, you will begin to find more of them. They have a potential for being very destructive, mainly because the child-self is in charge, and not your mature adult-self.

Becoming Self-Honest

We all get the opportunity to climb the 4 steps thoughout the day. In the beginning the steps feel awkward. We may think that we want to be better....to be in control. Unfortunately it is not that simple. Only a part of us wants that. I call this part my mature or parent-self. There is, however, another part that prefers to be lost in the addiction or disorder. I like to call this part my emotional child-self. Mine communicates with me through different genres of emotional states, some more uncomfortable than others.

As a therapist and author, I communicate with my patients and readers through my own truths. For me to be therapeutic, I must be willing to stand in the light....not to be frightened of self-exposure. Quite honestly, the only difference between myself and my patients or readers is that I am well-versed in the 4 steps and have carpeted mine with motivating images.

I have some very powerful emotions that have integrated themselves in my own disorderly eating patterns. I mentioned in an earlier post that I have clear recollection of eating/bingeing to manage sadness and isolation. When an emotional state connects early to eating issues, it tends to be even stronger than those that come later. It is very important to learn to wake up to these emotions and to be willing to label them in some way. Many of us tend to be hard and harsh with ourselves. This means that we are hard and harsh with our child-self. It's no wonder that we are not willing to see ourselves or our disorder. When the child-self feels so highly criticized or judged, she or he hides. One cannot get better in this way.

It takes time and practice to be willing to see without judgement or harsh criticism. For me, this is an ongoing process. Quite honestly I wouldn't want it any other way. Each day brings new opportunities to show and tell.
Yesterday I came in contact with my bored and listless self. I just returned from presenting seminars in Spain, and had my busy re-entry back to work. There is a part of me that loves having too much to do. This is the same as working best under pressure. Many of you may be familiar with that part of your personality. Once the pressure is off, the bored self often presents itself. That's what happened to me yesterday. To top it off, we were waiting for Hurricane Dennis and so we were house-bound. It's not uncommon for my claustrophobic child-self to appear in moments like these. You can see how the stage was being set for me to manage my emotions with food. I remember wishing I had bought soda and other junk, so I could sit in front of the TV and chill-out. "After all, didn't I deserve some enjoyable down-time? " The child-self continued, "Do I have to work all the time?" I'm sure you have all been in similar scenes such as this.

When we are familiar with working the 4 steps, it is possible to counter this without too much trouble, but without the steps it would become a disasterous day for disorderly eating and all the outcomes that follow it, both short and long-term. In the past, it took me days to get over a binge experience. I could count on headaches, upset stomach, outrageous cravings, extreme fatigue and roller-coaster emotions. That's quite a lot to pay the piper, and that doesn't include the long-term problems....for the mind and body do not forget. I tell my patients that the body is like a bank account. What you eat, drink, swallow, inhale, etc. is added to your already present balance. Sooner or later you will get to pay the piper.

It's still raining, but I'm feeling better today. Each time I work on the 4 steps I become stronger and can deal with more difficult challenges. I look forward to today, wondering what's around the corner for me.

The 4 Steps

My patients are often surprised when they come to understand what it truly takes to manage disorderly eating, bingeing, sugar addiction and related issues. While it is about food, it is certainly about much more than food. Even in the nutritional area, food choices are only a part of what needs to be understood in order to make a plan that works. For example, many patients are completely unaware of the workings of their body and mind in relation to a healthy body fat percentage and weight. For some, the mindbody connection has never even entered the mind. The idea that food choice, amounts of protein, fat and carbohydrates, as well as the timing of meals do play a large part in how the mind and body communicate and function on a moment to moment basis, has remained outside the knowledge loop for most.

I have a clear recollection of entering the world of disorderly eating and emotional bingeing when I was 3 years old. My father died unexpectedly on my 3rd birthday. In those years, deceased were waked or viewed from the home. I remember thinking that all of the people who were arriving were coming to my birthday party. I distinctly remember noticing that they didn't bring presents and cried when they looked at me. I was told to stay in the kitchen and play with my doll, but instead I entered the living room and saw my father "sleeping". As the story goes, I went over to him and told him to wake up. Of course, this was met with screams and a very quick removal from the area. I was sent to the garden with a bag of cookies and clearly remember feeling so sad as I ate them one by one. To this very day I have a tendency towards bingeing when I'm feeling sad or isolated.

I grew up with all sorts of emotional issues, but the biggest error was that no one in charge knew what sorts of foods I needed for my particular family and personal medical history. It would be decades before I found out about this, and during those years my life was filled with all sorts of medical, health and emotional problems. As we work through this blog project, I'll share some of those with you. I know from my many years of research and experience in this field, that those of you reading this will certainly recognize yourselves. It will be through this recognizing that your own personal journey in recovery, healing and growth will begin. And make no mistake, your life will change in ways well beyond your breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Beginning...

I've been working in the field of disorderly eating and related addictions for many decades. I've come to know that there are 4 steps to winning the game of healthy lifestyle change.

We are all pretty much the same. I find with others, including myself, that we are all in such a hurry to climb the steps to success, that we often forget to do the research that is needed to set a proper plan in action. It is not enough to buy a book or go on a diet. While food choices are important, solving these issues goes way beyond that first step. Unfortunately, most individuals do not go beyond this and thus the reason for so much failure and frustration.

Most of us are sick and tired of our problems and want to be free of them. Many of our problems are heavy weights, interfering with our life as a whole. Other problems prove to be annoyances, big and small. Sometimes we don't even know "what we don't know" and so, it becomes a mystery as to what to do. All we seem to know is failure.

A question I hear all the time is "how can I be so successful in one part of my life, and be such a complete failure at things like eating and drinking that appear so simple on the surface?"

Have you ever considered that perhaps these things are not as simple as they appear? What if I told you that disorderly eating and bingeing fall into this very category? Would you be willing to re-visit your old beliefs and to explore these areas of your life with me?

You can do that right here in this blog... or by joining a free online class...or by joining the Boot Camp or other discussion groups. Those links are on my website at http://www.sugar-addiction.com or http://www.hypnosis-audio.com You can also choose to work with my books or CD programs. No matter what you choose, do know this. It is, indeed, possible for you to learn to manage your disorderly eating and binge behaviors. You can curb sugar addiction.......and you can better your health and your life performance.