Inside the Ritual Nest

As I entered the Foodie Ritual Area I was surprised at the level of detail that had been developed over the years. My addictive childSelf was willing to show me the deepest elements, those that were the seedlings for the rather complicated working ritual that was now in place. I had some rememberance of the seedlings, but not all of them. Being able to visit them in self-hypnosis truly touched my heart. I can remember my early child, but being able to feel the deep emotions, truly opened my heart, allowing a pouring of sadness to release. I could feel the pressure before the release & that did frighten me for a moment, but the Higher Part of me was present, encouraging me to just let it flow & so I did. The untimely & surprising death of my father & the shock that separated my mother from me, had to be interpreted by a three year old child, who had no other support. The childSelf I was invited to enter was frightened, confused, anxious & very disturbed.

There was no point of reference for her to grab hold of & so the emotions were raw & scary, especially as more people arrived at the funeral that was held in the home. Visitors hugged her, while crying & screaming. The addictive childSelf took me to a little "nest-like" place, a uterus of sorts. Inside the nest were pacifier cookies & candies, some provided to the child & others secretly taken from the mourning table. These were especially addictive, for they combined mourning with sugar treats. This was to continue throughout her childLife & even into her adultLife. The "nest-like" place took many different forms, mostly hiding places that were closed in & secret....the car, closets, corners of rooms, the attic, basement & behind certain bushes & trees.

As the childSelf grew, the nest became more & more useful for releasing emotions, especially those related to insecurity, emotional & physical pain & critical emotions. Physical pain was also invited because it made it easier for emotional pain to be expressed. This pain announced itself in multiple body aches, headaches, tightness & weakness, always accompanied by fear. Sometimes the childSelf binged, almost inviting the pain to appear, as if it's presence would fill the void. The kinds of foods were mainly unhealthy, the amounts huge. At times there was an acutal fear of the foods, the Self realizing the danger of what was about to happen. That fear could even start in the supermarket as the foods jumped into the shopping cart. There was also fear of body sensations, believing them to be a hidden illness that then connected itself to fear of death & dying, bringing the nest back to it's original purpose. As the child grew older, the insecurities also grew, for there was no parent figure to help the child find her way back to balance. In fact, others thought the child was very well adjusted, for she hid everything very well & the nest, even though more complicated, was a deep secret. Even though she was very afraid of illness & accidents, she entered the health care field, as if defying the original fear, but the eating issues worsened & the secret was forced to become further submerged.

Before I go ahead & share some of the therapeutic techiques I utilized for mySelf & taught to others like me, I'd like to welcome new readers...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

INSIDE THE NEST

Disassembling the old ritual & the nest in it's present form was going to be necessary. Releasing on food was no longer possible, as I was heading towards the door of adult onset diabetes. I was already hypoglycemic, the frightening symptoms causing me to run to the nest, but I was already aware that the food was taking me even nearer to the killer diseases, so this was no longer workable. Awareness is a powerful tool, especially if it is utilized in a very deep relaxed state. That means, below the conscious level, where the brain waves are slower & the stress chemicals aren't being produced. For me, this meant learning a special kind of meditation, one that could be practiced "in the moment." As I learned to be a close observer of mySelf, I was shocked at the levels of stress I produced & stored in my body. No wonder I kept my ritual close by my side & always knew where to find my portable "nest."

Managing my thoughts was paramount to re-defining my ritual. I realized that I truly needed a ritual, but one that was very different from the one I had since childhood. Of course, my childSelf was not happy, but interestingly enough, that unhappiness passed very quickly, once I made it clear that I was now in charge. I believe that the childSelf was relieved at finally having a mature ParentSelf. In the next blog I'll invite you to visit the interior of my new ritual habitat.


Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Underneath the Foodie Mantra

Be clear...emotional eating & the binge is not about the food. Like the iceberg, the main components are located below the surface. So, it was one thing to take my addictive childSelf out of hiding, but quite another thing to deal with the causative factors & her "foodie mantra." Willingness to change means willingness to become aware & until that permission is granted, it is rarely possible to get a full view of the true problem & such was the case regarding my food thoughts, bingeing & obsessions. By inviting my childSelf out of hiding, permission was granted for me to enter the food behavior hiding place that is located well below the surface..deep in my subconscious mind

Despite gaining permission, I remember stalling at the door to this area, somewhat frightened of what I would find. It is not easy to enter into pure honesty. Despite my nervousness, my addictive childSelf pulled me energetically, probably thinking I was going to join her in the old hangouts, but of course, this was not to be. Instead, we were going to stand side-by-side, while I reviewed the extent of what had already happened & the already present ramifications. These would be hard to own, because what was done was done. However, I had my futureSelves to consider & I needed to know specifically what wouldn't be happening ever again. As I "read" my body sensations, I could feel anxiety & inner-trembling, probably the anticipation of having to face up to my weaknesses & then accepting the finality of letting go....this was to be a true & difficult commitment, but one that was necessary for healing, not only for my body, but for my mind as well. I had lived a life of lies, excuses & hiding & all of these would be leaving at the same time. There would be no discussion, no guilt...no shame...but I did expect a tremendous feeling of loss & that was to be.

The childSelf did need to stand by my side, but it's important to know that she was not truly participating in the seriousness of the experience, for the addictive child does not understand, nor care to understand the serious impact of over-eating, under-eating or eating foods that have no nutritious value. Her interests are found only in the special ritual that accompanies the eating, including the excitement of thinking about, then finding the foods of choice, followed by eating ,sometimes slowly or other times shoving the food quickly into her mouth. None of this had anything to do with nutritional needs, nor hunger, but instead, representing pure emotional release. To her, everything was about fixating on the ritual, for all parts were related to the emotional release. Once we were inside the door, I wanted to encourage my childSelf to open the ritual so I could see inside. I felt certain that I didn't know all parts of it, nor from where they originated. I was also interested to know how the ritual was "fired", so I could work to dismantle those elements as well. Upon entering, it was clear to me that the ritual, nor it's parts, could no longer exist. I believed that dismantling them & removing them completely would be much easier than doing this piece-meal....like emptying a room completely, instead of just doing a corner at a time. For this, I needed the child at my side, so hopefully she would guide me into the deeper recesses of the room. I was soon to find out that she wasn't about to disappoint me...

Before I go ahead, we always have new readers & I'd like to welcome them...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

THE ADDICTIVE CHILD'S PRIVATE ROOM

Once inside the room, I was stunned with the state of affairs, but of course, thisarea had been operational since I was a young child. Despite being over-loaded, it was actually quite organized. My childSelf seemed to take pride in this, making it easier for her to show me where things were. She was impressed with my interest, obviously appreciative that I wasn't angry not threatening. Luckily she missed the fact that I was appalled, perhaps because I decided to put that aside, for any criticism would have built resistance for the "show & tell." Part of me was pulled towards the seemingly mountains of food that had either been ingested or hidden through the years, but I decided that i preferred to enter the ritual first, for indeed, this was a core issue & would help to answer some of the areas that were nearer to the surface. My childSelf was fine with this, almost excited to share the intricacies of the ritual fine-tuning.

I'll share most of this with you, but space in the blog is a bit of an issue, but here's something I learned. Emotional eaters tend to preferto practice their ritual alone or if they share with others, these partners are carefully chosen. These are not the usual people one meets at a dinner party...but special addictive companions. In the case of my child, her ritual bliss was always about being alone & made especially potent by the preference of secrecy. For example, while she liked to binge in the car, she would never eat or even chew at red lights because the driver in the car next to her or behind her would be watching, thereby invading her secret. I was coming to understand that the more my childSelf trusted me, the more she would share & so staying open & non-judgmental would be key to my healing.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Re-Dressing the Addictive ChildSelf

Once I decided to recover from my disorderly issues, my own subconscious mind began showing me an array of things that truly needed to be addressed. I came to know that there was a very big part of me that was hidden, not only from others, but even from mySelf. This part is what I now know as my Addictive childSelf. Although she was always present, she stayed behind the scenes where she was easily ignored & certainly I hid her from others. Being absent from view, you might think that this would have weakened her effect on me, but all this hiding seemed to enhance my anger, guilt & shame, making her even more powerful. My relationship with her was two-faced, for I loved & dispised her at the same time. I imagined her as a pitiful, sad little messy child harboring a dirty face & unkept hair, someone only a mother could love. I wanted to keep her locked up because her behaviors were embarrassing. I was actually fearful that others would come to know this hidden part of me, causing me to lose respect. It took quite a bit of energy to keep her locked away & so I was forced to live behind a pretense mask, presenting me as a balanced professional in all aspects of my life. I tried very hard not to look in the mirror, because this unruly part of me could be seen peering out. She would not let me forget her.

You may wonder how it is possible to hide a part of yourSelf, but it is possible & perhaps you have had your own experience with a part of you that lives behind your scenes. However, in recovery it is so important to become completely "authentic" or whole if you are going to heal. I'm convinced that the Key to managing disorderly eating is not about scale weight, but about being authentic & whole. Living in a relaxed mind & body, sensing your own power, being real, loving yourSelf is all connected to living a healthy, balanced lifestyle. There is no longer a need for compulsive or emotional eating. As the Self comes together in wholeness, there are no more parts hiding behind the bushes, waiting to jump out & be disruptive. Life can be a peaceful journey.

So, we know that this is what we want, but how do we get there? What happens to the disorderly childSelf? In my own recovery I came to understand that the part of me that I was hiding was going to be instrumental in my healing process. I needed her by my side, for she was going to be my catalyst for change. But first, I must bring her out of hiding, ask her forgiveness & promise her unconditional love, for truly she has done nothing wrong. She is simply part of my childSelf who was left on her own with no discipline & no emotional management. As I came to know her, I noticed she resembled my early childSelf, who grew up in a dysfunctional home & carried the very same characteristics. She also carried the heart of my eating issues, for her addiction was her panacea & because she was so needy, she actually became very good at what she needed to do.

Uncanny, but true, the addictive child at my side was perhaps the most powerful part of my being. She would now become whole, transmuting what was negative energy into a positive power source. I'll share some of my hypnotic work in this regard, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

RE-DRESSING THE ADDICTIVE CHILD SELF

Just the idea of not hiding a part of me turned out to be a very freeing experience. Now, I didn't stand on the rooftop & scream out my truth, but I no longer pretended that I was something I was not. I remember the first time I shared some of my dark secrets with my patients & then with my family. By this time, I had been re-establishing my own relationship with my addictive childSelf. I did this mainly through self-hypnotic & meditative channels, but also through automatic journaling. This was a very interesting experience, for the childSelf brought other areas to my attention, things that I never considered being connected to my eating issues. Some of these included areas of my personal life that I had ignored, such as the state of affairs in my clothes closet of all things. In fact, there was plenty of disorder in my life & as I began to see with more clarity through the eyes of this part of me, I came to realize how asleep I've been & for so long.

The child had plenty of complaints as to her own dress & personal appearance. Since she was no longer hidden, it was time to bring some changes to her as well. I soon came to see that these were not just her issues, but mine, for indeed I had closed my eyes in this area as well. Together we cleaned house, made a shopping list, as well as a list of other things that had been missing from our life experience for so long. Yes, disciplines were needed & we worked on these together. I found that she was cooperative & willing to try new things, but she didn't appreciate being pushed into the background without her needs taken into consideration. Some things that were missing had to do with play & some old childhood experiences that were no longer in sight. All of this came forth in our journaling together.

The wisdom of this part of me was a surprise....but why shouldn't she be wise? After all, she'd been around for quite awhile & had witnessed many things from her hiding place...

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Gifts from Future Selves

One thing for sure, maintaining a healthy weight means managing the multiple facets of compulsive, emotional & stress eating & for that one needs a high level of motivation. For me personally, I looked outside of mySelf for this motivation, often expecting someone to jump in & save me from my disorderly eating. But, since much of it was a secret, there was no one to jump in. For me, this was very frightening, because I was afraid of my own Self. I remember thinking, that if left alone, it would be possible for me to kill mySelf with food. One day I made a list of all the foods I would be willing to eat that day IF I were alone with no one to stop me. Reading that list was a very uncomfortable peak into my true addictive Self.

Now, I was taking a new approach & had commited myself to being on the Path. My old shoes were gone & I was breaking in the new ones, but even in the new shoes, I needed more than Knowledge to keep going forward, especially in the world in which I existed. I was very much alone with my changes & even if I wanted others to motivate me, few were up to that task as they were so unmotivated themselves. I came to realize that I lived in a world of disorderly eaters, even those who lived in denial, convincing themselves that they had healthy habits. Their focus was achieving & keeping a low scale weight, no matter what the price. I knew I would not walk that path again...ever.

So, what were my options to stay the course? Much has been written about "outer motivation", but little about "inner motivation." I remember wishing that I had a personal coach who would follow me around, whispering positive affirmations in my ear, as I walked through the many destructive triggers on my life path. I was immediately reminded that I was always looking for something more, while I already had everything I needed. I just needed to practice being awake & aware. We wake up through the desire to be awake & then learn to pay attention to our thoughts & the images that accompany them. We learn that thoughts & images can be changed. Images are small subconscious mind programs that when fused with high level emotions, become motivational catalysts.

In the last chapter I was delighted to be introduced to the image of the magical rock garden. There I was to communicate with my past Selves who were happy to re-introduce me to my past inner strengths & the power that I had available to me. I remember wondering if there were other areas on the Path that could provide the same & once again, before the question was formulated, the answer was presented to me. Just as I have past Selves, I also have a large array of future Selves, going right up to my most powerful future Self, the one at the extreme end of the path. This was my "end of life" Self who had all the answers, as well as all the plans leading up to the answers.

In the beginning, I was horrified with the idea of looking into my future, for getting old was not high on my list, but in this series of images, I was soon to experience some of my most powerful inner motivators. Let's review something first. There are two ways to motivate the Self....going towards something positive....or away from something negative. The latter is better known as fear motivation. In other words, "do as I say, or you will experience something very terrible...like death." I firmly believe that you get what you think about & so I was not a fan of fear-based motivation. I remained very curious about my future Selves, especially my oldest Self, wondering how any of them could possibly motivate me without using fear tactics.

As I began my journey into the imagery of my future Selves, I was already aware that there were very special tools for these inner creative beings. I'll take you into my experience in a moment, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

RESILIENT GIFTS FROM THE FUTURE SELVES

Regression & future pacing shouldn't be so mysterious. Each time we look at a photo album we become involved with our past Selves & each day we look in the mirror, visiting an older Self who yesterday existed as a future Self. We also talk about these future Selves, thinking how that ice cream will put weight on us. The results of that ice cream are being delivered to our future Selves & not just one of them, but many of them. The more deliveries, the more problems for our Selves down the Path. As I travel down my future Path, messages are delivered to me by the entities that exist there. Strangely enought, these messages are not the same ones that I hear in my consciousness. Instead, these are positive affirmations, accompanied by images on signposts. This is the beauty of practicing Interactive Self-Hypnosis or imaginology.

I can image my oldest Self who lives at the end of the Path, encouraging me to come forward. The fear I anticipated is magically removed, as I drift along, as if my feet weren't needed to move me. She is in the Light & I find her very loving, welcoming & without judgment. She has a sense of humor & I find mySelf smiling in her presence. She tells me that "everything turned out just perfectly." I had done a wonderful job in cleaning & clearing my life & had learned the most important life lesson, that I was in charge of my own life & therefore my own choices. Others were simply life students who shared life with me, but who were not "me", nor were they in charge of "me." As I became more self-responsible, bringing daily changes into my life, each of them became healthier. They then passed their health onto the next older Self. My Self of today actually "gifted" each of them. She asked me to look down the Path towards my today Self, so I could actually visualize the piles of gifts on the future Path. Some of these were healthy food baskets from each meal, exercise, stress managing with meditation & positive affirmations....so many gifts, all delivered by mySelf to these powerful women in my life. Becoming aware & realizing the impact of my daily actions would perform as rebound motivation, as each future Self responded back to me as each gift was received.

She touched my hand, allowing me to feel the collective energy of who I am & what I'm about.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Hidden Resilience & the Former Selves

Despite being successful in other areas of my life, the same did not hold true for managing my eating issues. In this area I was pre-programmed to fail & so as I walked in my "new shoes" I felt very insecure. I continually policed my steps, both expecting & waiting to fall down once again. Although I was committed, I was lacking in faith. My thoughts were not helful, most of them negative about any promise of success, even a short-lived one. In fact, I noticed that I was feeling worse than in other attemps when I wasn't totally committed. Finding this hard to understand,I called on my Higher Therapeutic Selves for much needed advice.

When working hypnotically, help comes very quickly...even before the question is asked, when it is just an idea of a question, rather like living with a mind-reader. I was quickly ushered to a beautiful rock garden, intermingled with bright colored flowers. I was surprised as to the number of rocks, some big & others small. As I looked closer, some rocks had dates on them, while other sparkled as if they contained inner reflective jewels. I'd never seen rocks like these before & I was immediately curious as to their origin, as well as what they were doing here on my Life path. I remember being asked to sit on the bench that was located right in the midst of the garden & one of the "dated" rocks was placed on my lap. Closer examination revealed some words that explained the origin of the rock, indicating that it represented a day in my life when I had won a skating competition.

I was instructed to tap on the rock & as I did this, the rock opened as if it had it's own door. Looking inside I could see the recorded number of falls I had taken during my early skating career, all of them leading up to being able to perfect my skating performance. Oh yes, I remembered this well. I loved skating & I honestly didn't mind falling. Even if I was hurt, I always looked forward to getting back on my skates & doing better. This young Self of mine would be very useful to me now. I truly needed her & wondered how I could get her back inside of me.

I'll share this special teaching with you in just a moment, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

HIDDEN RESILIENCE & THE FORMER SELVES

I came to understand that the rock garden contained a lifetime of resilience building, all of it available to me in any given moment. As I looked at the rocks, I became aware of how strong I had been throughout my life, in so many different areas. I was a fighter & a person who never gave up on things, no matter how difficult they were. How odd that I never connected any of this with my eating issues. It was like this particular part of my life had nothing, or very little to do with who I am & what I'm about. This vision was very stunning & even as I write this, I can feel an internal shift from weak to strong. My Therapeutic Teacher was encouraging me to locate more rocks & to open them. I was told that I could also enter these & communicate directly with those earlier Selves. In the beginning I thought this quite odd, but then I realized that I communicate incessantly with my old failure Selves & so why would I think this was odd? Then I realized why....my old addictive Self simply didn't want me to gain the strength I had available to me, because with every ounce of strength I gained, that destructive part of me became weaker.

I was curious as to how I could engage my past strengths & as before, the answer came before the question was formulated. It became clear that simply by remembering & becoming engaged with the resilient imagery, the power was simply available to me. These were now "new triggers"....stepping stones instead of tripping stones.


Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Sticky Fingers

I had started again so many times that a "fresh start" didn't feel very fresh at all. I noticed how frightened I was, even more so because of my solid commitment. As I relaxed into my fear, I heard the internal voice of my Therapeutic Self & who made it clear that just because I had "new shoes" didn't mean that I was going to do all of this perfectly. In the past when I tripped up, my immature addictive childSelf was waiting for me with my "old shoes." But, this was no longer possible, because there were no more "old shoes" , but my Higher Therapeutic Self would always by my side, just as it was in this moment of uncertainty. With each step I would be experiencing new ways to traverse my Life path.

Yes, I would have to learn to walk through old dark areas & triggers &....I would have to be willing to wash off my "sticky fingers." The art of "being willing" would be Key for me, for in the past my immature childSelf would never have agreed to any of this & there was a part of me that was still internally engaged with that part of me. But, the disengaging of the immature Self would become a very powerful growth tool & one that would take me to high levels of health & performance in other areas of my Life. I was learning that power gained on the Life path was transferrable to other areas, even areas that weren't formed as yet. These were some of the gifts of the "new shoes" & they would be powered by my new-found willingness.

I stepped out on the Life path with my new shoes. Looking to the right & left were invitations to stop & experience. Some areas had signs that sported affirmations, not just words but images inviting me to enter & feel the affirmation in a deeper part of me. "I'm having a fresh start" spoke to me. I climbed the few steps & went inside the affirmation. I was immediately caught up in the feelings of freedom & joy. In the past, fresh starts had made me somewhat uncomfortable, but these old feelings were not present here. I was welcomed by images of nature & those representing my Higher Self, all congratulating me on being here & chatting of the exciting experiences that were ahead of me. I was also introduced to some of my "future Selves" who were delighted with getting this show on the road....once & for all time. This was the last time I was going to start from the beginning, for now, I had the right information, the best motivation & a true connection to my Higher Self & it's companions.

The path was very organized. Disciplines, motivations, inner mirrors & other gifts lined the way & I invite you to walk along with me, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

STICKY FINGERS & SPECIAL HAND WASHING PROCEDURES

While the Recovery Life path is beautiful & filled with learnings & motivational gifts, there are also tripping stones or triggers. With each day I notice mySelf becoming stronger, but what's interesting is that I still have an attraction to some of my old triggers. My HigherTherapeutic Self tells me that my encounters with these will make me much stronger than before & not to be afraid of this "attraction" which is not an attraction at all, but just my addictive childSelf having a little tantrum as it becomes weaker & weaker. It helps me to think in this way. My Higher Self suggests that when I notice this, that I take the childSelf to the little golden sinks that are located along the path & to wash her sticky fingers of the old trigger residue. This is a self-hypnotic suggestion, telling the subconscious mind that triggers can be removed with this small, but powerful image. The fear emotions that are intertwined with triggers are easily dismantled in this way, allowing the Self to become more confident in the moment. Fear mounts when it appears there is no control, but now the mind & body has control, delivered by the hand washing image.

I have many triggers & each time I take my addictive childSelf to the golden sink, the individual triggers weaken. I find mySelf washing her hands in advance of entering some of my trigger-centers that include the supermarket, passing the pizza place & dessert time at meetings I need to attend. Pre-washing has become a powerful tool for me & I'm learning to apply it in other non-food areas of my life as well, for example when socializing with people who are difficult for me to be around.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Stepping into the "Now"

"This I know for sure...my new shoes will take me to new places, but I also know that they are currently very uncomfortable & my old shoes are nowhere in sight, so I guess I'll have to deal with it."

These are some thoughts I had several decades ago when I truly committed to change my lifestyle behaviors. The commitment was solidified when I gave up my "old shoes." I was also to find out that the phrase "lifestyle behaviors" was more than I thought. How easy those words fell off of my tongue, but walking the path in new shoes was certainly proving to be an uncharted adventure for me. My life would never be the same again, for I was about to meet parts of mySelf that had been hidden for a very long time, some since early childhood. Emotions that I preferred not to experience were insisting to be heard, as a new "me" began to form. What I thought was all about food, was turning out to be less about my eating & more about my immature Self that wanted to be in charge of anything & everything.

Working inside "interactive self-hypnotic imagery" or imaginology was very helpful to me because it gave me a discipline of deep relaxation, as well as a place to "go." In my "old shoes" I tended to stay in the problem, enhancing body tension & a state of mind confusion. My emotions were highly negative, especially the ones involved with past failures, fears of the known & unknown & underlining hopelessness & helplessness. But, that was the past & now I had "new shoes" & a "new path", one with knowledge, guidance, organized discipline & much more. Here I could practice new ways of doing things, manage my thoughts & emotions, choose what I wanted for me & even design my future. Here I could let go of things I didn't want without any repercussions or feelings of guilt or shame. I sensed the freedom of being my authentic Self. As I stepped forward onto the path, I looked down to view my "new shoes" & noticed my healthy reflection smiling back at me. I felt like I was home; not my old home, but a home that transcended that image. This was somewhere totally different, but a place that I seemed to remember from long, long ago.

Here I was not alone, but accompanied by my Higher or Therapeutic Self who formed my Parent/Teacher/Physician Self. The path was very organized & I invite you to walk along with me, but before that...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

STEPPING INTO THE NOW - KNOWLEDGE, CLARITY & VISION

It was made clear to me that we all must start from where we are in the moment. That didn't mean that we hang out in that "moment", for that moment is already in the past, but we start in the now & each step is another step into "the now." This is what it means to "live in the moment.' With each step a higher level of clarity emerges. Besides being in the "now", we also need specific Knowledge & disciplines to employ that Knowledge. This is important in all areas of Life, but especially so in the nutrition or eating departments. Make no mistake, everyone needs Knowledge in regard to nutrition. The body is a group of intricate systems that need to be maintained with high level nutrition, deep relaxation & positive imagery. My "new shoes" were going to walk me to each specific area where I would experience Knowledge, clarity of vision, high level motivation & Keys for self-management. This was certainly very different than how I lived my life in the past, where I was blown by the current wind that blew me without any charted course.

My "new shoes" entered the first area on the Path that was labeled High Level Nutrition. The area was filled with plants, each representing body systems or specific cells. I was shocked to see the state of affairs of some of my body systems. Because they were "out of view" inside my body, I never paid much attention to them unless they screamed out. Lately I'd been having lots of body screaming, but seeing the desperate state of the actual plants took my breath away. I thought mySelf a reasonable & responsible human being, but to be honest, I truly never paid all that much attention to my food choices. I ate what I liked, when I liked & if I felt like I was gaining weight, I'd diet & exercise heavily, never thinking further than the size of my jeans. My Higher Self was now by my side, along with my Teacher/Parent & Physician. "This is no time for wallowing, but a time of action." I was handed a set of directions or "disciplines." I started to cower at that "discipline word", but immediately bounced out of that mind state by the reflection of my "new shoes." I was beginning to get the idea.

The directions were quite lengthy & I wasn't surprised because obviously I needed lots of correction. In the past I balked at correction, but the relection from my shoes didn't allow for this. Instead I felt rather giddy & excited to get going. The plants were watching me & my sense of responsibility kicked in. Yes, I can do this. I was directed to the eating tables that were labeled "breakfast, lunch, snack & dinner". Then I was shown the huge buffet. I was told that each meal needed to contain protein, healthy fats, & a selection of balanced & unrefined carbohydrates. It was easy to understand the protein & the fats, but the carbohydrates were going to take some education. I looked around for my favorite foods, but they weren't there & I questioned that. Was I to be denied these FOREVER!!! My new shoes blinked at me." Relax...first things first. Your body parts need to return to healthy balance & then you will learn how to engage with unhealthy foods....either by being happy to discard them, or to find ways to entertain them on occasion."

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

New Shoes & the Ouch Factor

Perhaps the most difficult part of Recovery, at least for me, was the movement from my old patterns into the new ones.I like the image of getting bold enough to stick my toe in the bathwater & then over-reacting to the temperature...ouch...far too hot. I'll have to wait for it to cool down. Of course, the toe belonged to my addictive childSelf & the water would have been just fine, if my Mature Self was in charge. Even IF it were a bit too hot, my Mature Self would have been willing to "adjust." But, adjusting is not in the vocabulary of the Immature addictive childSelf, unless the adjusting is about adjusting to another level of addiction.

The Immature addictive childSelf either lives in the addiction or disorderly behavior OR in the flux of procrastination. "Should I or shouldn't I" is the mantra of procrastination & each time the mantra is repeated, the childSelf "spins", going deeper & deeper into the procrastination hole, each spin making it more difficult to climb out. For me, my procrastination hole was so big that I needed a very tall ladder & a dose of pure motivation from my inner power Sources to boost mySelf up & then to climb the rungs. Movement, be it inner or outer, is Key to Recovery. Moving into the bath or out of the procrastination hole is very significant. When working hypnotically, this movement can be "tagged" with a powerful, positive emotional current, making it even more powerful each time the image is brought forward...which it will be, for make no mistake, jumping back into the hole or back into the bath will happen. The biggest mistake many people make is to believe that once they have "moved forward", there will be no moving back. Wrong. The second biggest mistake is misinterpreting the moving backward as "failure." Wrong again. These movements are simply a part of Recovery & a significant part of building Resilience & growing into a solid Mature Self.

Once out of the bath OR out of the procrastination hole, the "new shoes" await. Most of us are very familiar with the odessey of "new shoes." They look so comfortable on the shelf & when we put them on in the shoe store they look & feel good, but for some reason we don't want to give our old shoes to the salesman for disposal, for life has taught us that the relationship we will be having with our new shoes, is not as it seems. They will turn on us, delivering pain & probably some calluses. We'll have trouble walking & will hunt out our old shoes with that special love & devotion we have for such things. But, a little voice in the background urges us to keep wearing the new shoes & to break them in.

New shoes on, I was now on a very different path to Recovery. Yes, I was to experience aching feet & a few sore toes, but as I progressed with each step, I came to understand WHY the shoes were uncomfortable & WHY the actual discomfort was so important to my long-term health. I'll share some of this with you, but first...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

WHY NEW SHOES HURT & WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM

Over the years, actually decades, I had many many attempts at Recovery, but never was able to stay on the path. One of the reasons was that I didn't understand the ritual of falling, getting up & moving on. I would fall & be picked up by my addictive childSelf who would put my "old shoes" back on my feet, as if I were a child myself, which of course, in that moment I was. One day, I was offered a very special pair of new shoes & although I was "so ready", the childSelf was not ready at all. In fact, she hated the shoes right from the get-go. These shoes were different & came with a new set of rules & regulations, which of course, turned the addictive childSelf off immediately. These new shoes came from the Therapeutic or Mature Self & were putting her on notice that she was not going to be in charge any longer. I remember laughing inwardly at this image, but at the same time, feeling frightened of accepting them. Soon, I came to understand that apprehension was natural & would soon disappear. I also came to understand that even if I tripped or if my feet hurt, this was part of the healing & would benefit me forever...rather like putting gold coins in my new bank account. Yes, I liked that.

Next, I was told to discard the old shoes. This caused a shift similar to stepping into the bathwater, but for some reason, it was somewhat easier. I imagined myself throwing the shoes away in the bottomless garbage can, one that doesn't allow retrieval. This is similar to stopping smoking cold-turkey. I was now free to change, to learn & to Recover. The rules of the shoes were already clear & as I was ready. In the next chapter I'll invite you to step into my new shoes & follow me through some of my adventures.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

The Alone-ness Factor

To succeed in recovery & life in general, it's necessary to take back your own power& to own your own problems. Many people with disorderly eating tend to stay involved, not only with their caregivers, but with pseudo-care-givers...those people who share the same problems. While I can appreciate the need to have support, like everything else, I'm a firm believer that this needs to be kept in balance. In my own life, as well as in the lives of my patients, I see the co-dependent patterns over & over again. Sometimes the co-dependency is disguised in some sort of organization, other times as simple as choosing to only hang out or build friendhips with those who share the same problems, thereby limiting one's life experience. I lived a good part of my life like this, attending all sorts of meetings that allowed me to stay inside the problem, instead of taking responsibility for what needed to be done. My friends, in & out of work, were mainly fighting the same battle as I was, although I never let them inside my personal secrets, thereby still leaving me alone in my personal prison.

One day & I can't really tell you why, but I decided that I had enough of thinking about my weight, wishing that I could lose weight, wondering if I would ever lose weight while still inhabiting a healthy body. I was tired of buying magazines that promised the solution, clipping articles, attending meetings & never being fully successful, watching programs related to weight, chatting about it around the water-cooler & discussing it with people I didn't even know, like in the supermarket line. Good grief...I had spent so much of my life involved in the subject matter of "my weight & eating issues" that I could have earned several PhD's. I truly needed it to be over.

You know the saying, "the teacher appears when the student is ready?" Well, that day I stayed home from work because I truly didn't feel well, or so I thought. I was wrapped in a quilt, sitting in front of the television with a bowl of popcorn balanced on my lap. A program came on that was addressing obese people & their difficulty in flying. I didn't want to listen to that & certainly not after deciding that I had enough, but something told me to keep listening & so I followed that inner coaching. The guests on the program began discussing the glycemic index & problems associated with something called hyperinsulinemia. Despite being an RN, I knew nothing about this, but I was soon to become a life student of the subject, for here was the answer that had eluded me for decades. I wish I could tell you that it was easy after that, but it wasn't. However, I finally knew what had to happen & that I was to be free from my self-imposed prison, but I would be walking alone.

After being co-dependent for my entire life, I remember feeling a level of panic when everyone seemed to step back from me. It really wasn't clear to me why that happened, but I think it was more about my unwillingness to keep talking about the problem. Perhaps I was ready for the exit, while others were not, but for whatever reason, I was quite alone & that immature part of me that loved being co-dependent was sad & scared.

I was now on a very different path to recovery, one with many more obstacles, but as I progressed I came to understand why those obstacles were there & why they were so important to my long-term health. I'll share some of this with you, but first...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

THE ALONE-NESS FACTOR & IT'S POSITIVE NATURE

I had been on, what I thought, was a quest for weight loss for most of my teen & adult like. On the day I mentioned earlier, I was placed on a very different course, one that would mean my changing just about everything I had been doing, literally "forever." No one else was doing anything like I was about to do & when I look back, I do have to laugh, for the things I started doing were all super-healthy things & the idea that people would actually be angry with me & even "feared for my life" is so ridiculous. For some reason, I simply could not care about any of this. I wanted to be free & I needed to follow something that made medical sense to me. This meant letting go of old habits, old behaviors & even old conversations.

I mad a set of rules for mySelf that included not discussing what I was doing. I know from being an RN in the mental health field, that it's best to stay away from critics, especially if they are emotionally irrational. For me, this included just about everyone I socialized with, from family, to friends & work-colleagues. So now, I was out of their loop & there was no new loop for me. I was alone, or so I thought. Soon I was to understand that I was far from alone, but needed that "shift" to find the inner parts of me that would guide me through my Recovery, as well as to open new creative doors in my life, doors that would never have been opened if I hadn't moved out of my unproductive & unhealthy circle.

You may be wondering, what about my current relationships with the "old circle". Did they all just drift away? No, but they did move away from me in the beginning & that was a good thing. I needed that space for my shift. But, as I mentioned in an earlier blog, others change when you change & this is what happened with my old circle. They came back, but our relationships were different. Some remained with their unhealthy behaviors, but felt better once they realized that I had no intention of pulling them into my new habits. Others decided to make some changes that they learned from observing me & I just simply observed them, without any comment. To me, the best mentor is one who exhibits healthy behaviors, but is quiet about them. When someone is ready, they will follow.


Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Emotional childPLAY

Stepping into a new chapter is like opening a new door on the goal-den lifePath. Turn the knob, push the door open & step right in. There's a sign that says, "start here." But, before putting your foot on the path, there are a few things you need to know, so just relax for a moment. We're always in such a hurry to get things over & done, but sometimes it's wise to just take a moment to breathe & be still. Let me share a few knowledge keys....remember them? Emotional management is key to high level health & performance. And, it's certainly key to managing emotional & compulsive eating issues, be they over-eating or under-eating. . In addition, everyone knows, or should know, that you can change yourSelf but you cannot change others.....or can you? Let's look further into this.

People with disorderly eating issues, including mySelf tend to be emotionally triggered. This is part of the stress/compulsive aspect of the disorder. So, if we need to manage our emotions to manage our eating issues, how is this possible when other people are responsible for triggering the best & worst of our emotional Selves? This is an excellent question & the subconscious mind is ready & willing to answer. In the practice of imaginology or "interactive self-hypnosis", questions open doors or new routes to places in the mind's eye where the answers are demonstrated. Now we are being invited down the path to the "inner playground" where we can closely observe some of the many games of emotional childPLAY. You might remember visiting the "playground" earlier in this book/blog & you might like to return to that chapter before going forward. However, if you are ready for today's visit, please wait just a moment while I share some things with new readers...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

EMOTIONAL childPLAY - GETTING THE GAME

The playground is always filled with numerous childSelves. Some are very popular & you might recognize some of your favorites in the categories of positive/helpful & negative/unhelpful. We entertain all sorts as we meander through our daily lives. Pay attention to the ones that are taller & bolder. Emotions gain in size & power when they are utilized over & over. It's good to remember this, because bigger doesn't always mean better. There are some other things I'd like you to notice. Remember, we're working hypnotically now, so your subconscious mind is willing to answer your requests. It's helpful to healing when you are willing to see your truths or problem areas. Once they are illuminated, then they can be enhanced, if they are positive & need more light, or you can diminish them if they are not in keeping with healthy outcomes. I'd like you to notice some emotional triggers. First have a look at some that are self-imposed, because we all have habits that act as triggers for particular emotions.

I like to keep things light, so I image my triggers as "toys" that particular emotions like to play with. Let me show you one of mine. I have a fairly big emotion called "impatience." When things are moving along too slowly, this particular emotion of mine plays with some very high intense triggers. She actually looks to be triggered, translating everything in sight to power herself. These could include dust, disorder, dirty dishes, or anything that is not completed. She's quite interesting to observe. Once she's triggered to a high level, then she looks for specific foods for bingeing. I've been working with "her" for years now & she her creativity never ceases to amaze me.

Of course, our emotions are also triggered by others, but others are not responsible for the triggering. We own all triggers. They are not owned by others. We are also personally in charge of any & all triggers in the playground. If you look over there you will see the trash can. This is where triggers get dumped. We remove the triggers from our emotional children by first, becoming aware of them & then moving into the active image of our mature of Therapeutic Self. There is never a discussion or argument with the mature Self, for this part of you is connected to your Higher Self & other Higher Sources. This part then takes the trigger "gently" & places it in the trash can. The mature Self does not act rashly or in anger, nor in fear. This is a Mature decision for the Higher Good & the transition is made.

And, what about the other person? Well, the trigger belongs to you, so the other has no power. We'll work more in this area in the next segment.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Emotional Wrestling

Managing emotions is key to high level health in performance. In this book we have already touched on some ways to do this & here I'll introduce some others. Remember that emotions are like kids wearing teeshirts with their names on the front. They come in different degrees or sizes & carry thought DVD's in their backpacks. If you aren't familiar with my work, I refer you to the link below. This is a good place to catch up. So, when thoughts are delivered to the mind, they are chemically coded, meaning that the thoughts change the body physiology. Here we are working with specialized imagery, allowing us to work within the mindBody connection. This type of "in the moment" self-hypnosis practice is very useful, because you can change both emotional & physical outcomes in a split second. You have already heard me talk about the Therapeutic or Mature Self & you know how to shift to that mind-state, thereby disassociating yourSelf from the immature childSelf. Now let's take this one step further...

In the last chapter we spent time addressing the other occupants that share your life with you, be they people you know or don't know. We talked about some negative aspects of others, including tripping you up as you work within your personal Recovery. No matter where you go, you will meet up with the other occupants & you will experience their emotional states. Sometimes, the emotional communication is so subtle that you don't even notice, but it is there. Perhaps you go to the supermarket, check out & walk to your car, perhaps interacting with five or ten people without being aware. Other times you may go to the supermarket & do some head-banging with those who share your life path. And then, you may go back to the supermarket & meet up with someone who delights you in some way, even though you never met that person before & probably will never see them again in your lifetime.

Every individual, or life occupant, has a Therapeutic or mature Self, a Higher Self & a huge selection of childSelves....just like you. I think it helps to know that everyone is put together in the same way. Even those occupants who are locked up in the local jail have the very same configuration. In some of us, the balance is very tilted & the particular tilt brings it's own built-in consequences. Here the focus will be on your emotional childSelves & their interaction with the childSelves of others, for indeed, that is what it is all about. The therapeutic or mature Selves of all occupants tend to work very smoothly, but it's all about those emotional kids & their issues. They are the "emotional wrestlers."

I'll be sharing some working techniques with you in just a moment, but first...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

EMOTIONAL WRESTLING - LOCK HOLDS & OTHER MANIPULATIONS

We all start from where we are. When I started working on my own emotional management, all of this was very new to me. Of course, being an RN, I did understand the emotional component to disease, but at that time I didn't have any techniques to help me change my very strong reactive behaviors, many of which I still have. But now because I actively practice heightened awareness & interactive self-hypnosis "in the moment" I recognize them early on & can adjust them to meet my new criteria of living.

I utilize the image of detachment all the time. In other words, the childSelf is outside of my Therapeutic or mature self. Sometimes the child is in balance, other times not. It helps to be able to identify the emotion that is causing the imbalance. In the book I go over the many different emotional coats or marinades. It's interesting to note that the same ones tend to appear over & over, even though they may be slightly different. Mine tend towards impatience, intolerance, ego-driven need to be perfect, annoyance, especially with those who are slow & then the good old guilt & shame. I also harbor some complicated fear emotional coats, some specific & others resembling general anxiety. As we learn to be aware, we can also locate or see the triggers for these emotional coats. That's why I love the practice of heightened awareness coupled with interactive self-hypnosis. The scenes are so complete. I can actually walk inside what's playing in my current moment & my subconscious mind will show me other pertinent details. Sometimes it's pretty & sometimes it's not, but remember, you cannot change what you cannot or are not willing to see. As you come to practice these awareness exercises, you may find the childSelf wanting to wrestle, but when you stay detached, or in your golden egg, the child's power diminishes very easily, especially with a bit of practice.

In the next blog, I'll address the emotional kid's of the other occupants & how to discipline your own childSelf in these moments. Then, you'll get to see how you can effect change in others without saying a word.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

The Bully Factor

It's wonderful to wake up to the realization that you are in charge of your own life, but that doesn't mean that the other people you share your life with will just hand you the shovel they were using to dig in your life garden, then walk walk away nicely, waving good-bye & wishing you well. Most life occupants know nothing of paths, boundaries, what's yours & what's theirs & quite honestly, have little interest in your "awakening" & new commitment to change. While some may be o.k. with it, others may feel relatively negative in response to your new positive outlook. This negativity can show itself in a variety of ways from simple annoyance to outright anger, perhaps even sticking a foot out, hoping that you will trip. A lot will depend on your past relationship with the "occupant", or in some instances, the auto-pilot emotional patterns that inhabit this particular person. When the foot is attached to someone you love, it can be both confusing & painful, perhaps evoking a very negative counter-response...even another foot exchange. And don't forget, there is also the issue of picking a fight with the emotions of others & also self-inflicted tripping.

There are so many different types & levels of emotional exchanges. Even positive ones can act like blocks or barriers when one is in recovery from disorderly eating. When I began working therapeutically with my own compulsive/emotional eating, it seemed like I was down for the count, more than I was up. Once I began practicing "heightened awareness", I could see how my failure patterns formed & how I had given others the power to block me, even in happy times. In fact, as I revisited my past time line, it was clear that I secretly wished for these blocks to be placed in front of me, sometimes even inviting them openly with specific conversation or behaviors. A common one for me & that I find in many of my patients is to start food conversations, usually meant to lead to something else, like a suggestion to go out to lunch or to bring donuts to the office. I remember another devious behavior....walking by the office candy jar & joking "please don't offer me one." Playing the victim is another insidious game, inviting others to feel sorry for you. Perhaps reading a restaurant menu & making comments about what you can't choose, but others can. "Oh what I wouldn't give for a piece of pizza." Here you are evoking uncomfortable emotions within youSelf, then inviting others into your pain, often blaming them when you fall down.

Waking up, becoming aware & dealing with your emotional games & those of the other occupants who share our life experience needs some special tools, but before I share these with you...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

EMOTIONS BIG & SMALL - THE BULLY FACTOR

Until I started working with my Therapeutic Self & working inside my automatic writing journal, I never realized how difficult I made my own life. In fact, most of the things I complained about, including my eating issues, where self-inflicted. That's not to say that others didn't provoke me, but in many instances I brought them into the trenches. Sometimes I didn't want to be alone to solve my own problems & other times I wanted attention. Does this sound like a child? Of course it does. While the childSelf does not make recovery happen, it is a very important catalyst for change. That's why we want to read the child's emotional coats very well, for they hold the secrets that are woven through the fabric of the problem.

The practice of self-hypnotic imagery or imaginology is extremely helpful, especially when coupled with heightened awareness. While it's great to be able to see something clearly, one has to then do something with what one uncovers. Seeing mySelf practicing "victim" was not a pretty sight & in the beginning I was rather horrified at the emotional coats that my childSelf wore. She was a bit of an embarrassment, but adding these new negative emotions to the "victim", certainly wasn't going to help me manage my emotional/compulsive eating. In fact, it would worsen it. These are instances of sel-tripping & need to be disallowed. This is a place in time when we practice "disassociation" or moving out of the circus of the world & into the golden egg. If you don't know what I'm talking about, please go back & read those earlier chapters. In short, we are separating our mature or Therapeutic Self from the childSelf & from this position, we will discipline the unsavory behavior. I'll go over this exercise in the next blog. So what about the other's who are bullying or trying to trip, aware or not? This is another instance where we will disassociate & then ....surprise....discipline our own childSelf, for it is the reaction of our childSelf & not our Therapeutic or mature Self that is having the issue.

continued...

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Life Occupants

We occupy this thing called life & while we share our experience with millions of others, the following affirmation sums it up for me. I repeat it in the second person, for I sense my Higher Self directing me to think in this way. "You were born alone & will die alone. The space in-between these two events belongs only to you & you alone. You, alone, are the writer, producer & director of your life."

While this sounds rather simplistic, like many compulsive/emotional eaters, I have a long history of being co-dependent, meaning that my life was tightly wound around the lives of others around me. I remember thinking that if my mother or husband died, I wouldn't be able to stand up on my own & would simply fall into the grave with them. Now, that is co-dependency! However, in the secret eating part of my life I came first & that is why my eating was coupled with solitude, either alone in the car, in a dark movie theater, or in the middle of the night. After I heard this particular affirmation, I became very interested in exploring the idea regarding the time between being born & dying & learning that it belonged to me. I honestly don't know who I thought it belonged to, but I do know that I gave it to everyone else, usually leaving none for mySelf. Perhaps that is why when I ate secretly, it was all for me & none for anyone else.

A healthy knowing that you own something can change your life behaviors. While you are free to share it, the sharing is a purposeful act. People are no longer just allowed to take what is yours. Healthy ownership means standing up & protecting your boundries. Healthy knowing clarifies that there is a difference between being selfish & being self-ful. As I worked in my automatic writing journal, I came to realize how others could manipulate me by putting me in the selfish category, which of course triggered my early tendency towards guilt & shame. No one wants to be called selfish & so after awhile, one just gives & gives, leaving the poor, victimized Self to pick up the left-overs, if there are any. But, as we recover & begin to live in the light of heightened awareness, it's easier to choose the healthy life route.

Earlier in the book I introduced you to a specialized image called the "life path." I called it the "goal-den path", because this is the route to all achievements, as well as connections with one's Higher Self, Higher Power & the Universal Mind. This is the metaphorical space between birth & death. While others can visit, they only come by one's invitation & only to work in behalf of the owner. For most of us, especially those with disorderly eating, this whole idea of having our own place in time is both comforting & uncomfortable because we are stepping outside of our very tight box, one made even tighter by the manipulators in our lives. For me, the idea that no one owned me & that I was totally self-responsible for my life was huge. My mother didn't own me & neither did my husband or employer. We can also add in children, friends, relatives, co-workers & other occupants of the world. When we join in relationships, be they parental, marital, parent, employer or friend, there needs to be mutual respect of each other's personal path. While we can assist in each other's growth, it's not acceptable to grab the gardening tools, push the other out of the way & take over. Of course, this also means that we are personally responsible for doing all the work on our own path. This means shifting from the position of immature child to that of mature adult.

Waking up, becoming aware & dealing with the other occupants who share our life experience needs some special tools, but before I share these with you...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

ALONE OR NOT ALONE? ....OR LEAVE ME ALONE!

When we begin our recovery journey, there is usually a "big bang" awareness. Certain affirmations speak profoundly, while images that may have been hanging around before, now are brightly lit. It's like we've been asleep for a very long time & now we wake up to a new day, one filled with brightness & possibility. It feels wonderful! And then, one of life's occupants walks in the room & shuts off the light switch. As I came into my awareness, I was stunned at how many people were able to do this to me. My reality came screaming, rather like a stun-gun. How did I get here? Why did I allow all of these people to walk over me, most of them completely unaware of what they were doing to me? And now, I was going to have to go back & let them know what was acceptable & not acceptable. I remember cringing at the idea of doing all that work. To make matters worse, I was brought up to "be still & don't rock the boat." Oh, what a convenient lesson that was for all the manipulators in my life. And, what a good student I was. Now, that lesson book needed to be tossed out & I was to begin writing something called "new rules."

I remember being so very angry, but as I worked with my automatic journaling & self-hypnosis, I kept returning to the area of the balance beam. My Higher Self was directing me to be still, but for different reasons than those of my manipulators. Yes, I would be setting new rules, but I would not go about them while wearing a rightous, anger or victim coat. I would also need to decide how I wanted to run the different areas of my life. There were many choices to be made & needed to work out the details. Yes, I was having a fresh start & while I've had many fresh starts in the past, this was going to be different. I was in direct contact with my Higher Self, as well as the mature part of me that I'd come to know as my Therapeutic Self. I was introduced to the library of my subconscious mind, learning that it was filled to the brim with resources that would not only move me out of my disorderly eating, but my unkept life as well. And, as for the other life occupants, we would be introduced once again, but in a balanced way. My path was my own.

Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers

Inside the Pressure Vice & the Wall of Fear

Reality usually hits hard. You are told that you have to change your lifestyle behaviors, or else. Then comes the streaming thought responses from the childSelf, who you might misinterpret as the mature Self, but it is not. Here it goes...fighting, squirming, defending, demanding, foot stomping..." I can't do this. I don't want to do this. I will not do this." Meeting up with the out of control childSelf, especially in the face of a serious medical diagnosis, is very frightening. While this part of you is not a stranger, this time it is more sinister because it is determined to block you from lifestyle changes that may decide if you live or die. I know what this feels like & I'd like to share how I went about managing to save mySelf.

There will be a time in life when you end up" inside the vice." It may be about food, an addiction, a relationship issue or something else. My time was back in 1988 & if I plug into that memory, I can still feel the fear, not only of my impending medical diagnosis, but the fear of my own inner Self. At that time I hadn't separated my mature Self from the immature Child & so the fear was even more intense. I was completely alone without anyone who could control me. My childSelf made that abundantly clear. Not only was I not capable of change, it simply wouldn't be allowed.

The image of a "vice" works well to underscore the issues. The vice is often put in place by the medical doctor, or sometimes by others. Rarely is it placed by the Self. Even the mature Self would have difficulty putting the vice in place, even though one may try, the reason being that the childSelf is so powerful & has learned over the years, that if it fusses enough, the mature Self will relent. Everyone who has ever tried to stop an addiction or a particular negative-based behavior knows what I'm saying here. No matter what the circumstances, you may or may not be prepared for it & in most cases, you will not be prepared. It's not that you are blind. I certainly wasn't. In the back of my mind I knew that one day my unhealthy behaviors would catch up with me, but just like any addict, I simply pushed this idea aside & continued to do what I wanted to do....stuff cookies & chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

So what is the "vice"? It is a powerful metaphor for the moment when we are held tight & forced to face our reality. If we want to live a healthy existence, we have to stop doing what we have been doing & that may be one thing or a bundle of things. In my case, the bundle consisted of just about everything related to food. I started to bargain...I would be willing to change a thing or two, but not all of them. This seemed reasonable. After all, don't most doctors blow things up? Of course, this was my addiction chatting me up, just as it always did in the past. Even in the face of impending doom, there it was, taking the lighthearted route. Lucky for me, my mature Self, knew what had to happen, even through the huge wall of fear that immediately built itself in front of me had other ideas.

Moving through or over gigantic fear needs some special tools, but before I share these with you...

A NOTE TO NEW READERS:

This experiential blog/workshop is based on my new book, "How Many Cookies Will It Take to Make Me Happy?" If you are new to my writing, you might want to read the earlier mini-chapters. They are available on FaceBook, The PublishersMarketPlace & at the following link. Remember to scan down to find the earliest chapters & work your way up. http://beyonddisorderlyeating.blogspot.com/
A bit of background.... we are working with creative Interactive Self-Hypnosis imagery, planting suggestions directly into the creative subconscious mind as you read along. What appears like a story is a series of self-hypnotic sessions, designed to bring about desired lifestyle changes. The inner mind is creative & rather child-like, loving to play with images, especially when they are emotionalized. Just like the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", well-planted mind images, can be worth hours of therapy. We can actually change or motivate in 1/200th of a second. So come along & look forward to some lifestyle-changing events.

THE PRESSURE VICE & FACING FEAR

If you are following my writing, you already know many of the tools that I've used for my own recovery, as well as for my patients & students. This particular moment in time happened before I had designed most of my tools & so I felt very alone & frightened by the intensity of what I came to know as my childSelf. However, being a nurse educator, I knew about diabetes & the other diseases that can accompany it & those formed what is called a "negative motivator." In my case, a" huge" negative motivator. I remember sitting still for a long period of time, not purposefully meditating, but the results from being quiet were meditative in quality. Something inside me awakened. I could call it a spiritual awakening, but for me at that time, it was an organized call to action. I stood up, walked into the kitchen as a different person & nothing was the same from that moment forward. The "vice" had done it's job. It was like everything else, including the harange in my head, moved back from me. In that moment I could feel my power & I would be returning to this moment in time, over & over again in the future, for this power doesn't stay still....it wanes, but can be reinstated. This was one thing I learned that evening.

As I looked around, it was as if I were a stranger visiting my own home & my own Self. This is called disassociation & while I utilized this technique in helping patients, I never employed it with mySelf, or at least not to this degree. I had stepped outside of mySelf & my home & could see things with great clarity. It was not a pretty sight. The disorganization was evident & it was everywhere. Ever cupboard, every drawer, every wall, every everything. My home was a living example of my own self-care. It was cluttered & I was absent, just as if I were absent from school. I was simply not in attendance. I found it very interesting that the "vice" took me to see the disorganization through the living metaphor of my home & in this way, enlightened me about the necessity to clean & clear. The planning, the organization & the actions I was instructed to take would change my life completely. And what about the Wall of fear? I completely forgot about it & in so doing, it diminished on it's own. I was no longer alone. I was now in attendance with the Higher parts of mySelf.


Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May not be copied or reproduced without permission of the author.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht is author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It. She is also the writer/producer of over 350 mp3/CD programs in the areas of medicine, health, prevention, addictions, self-development & sports for adults & children.

http://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.bohorquez
http://www.twitter.com/elizRN

http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
http://www.sugar-addiction.com
http://www.international-medical-health-writers.